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September 14, 2010

Movie Review: Vampires Suck (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

I went in to this film thinking it was going to be good. I mean, a takeoff film of Twilight? What more could you ask for? Well, I failed to realize it's about TWILIGHT! How could I be so stupid to put myself through the anguish of watching this film?

Buy Vampires Suck on DVD

The plot is the same as Twilight; girl meets boys, girl torn between the two boys and so on. The names are changed. Bella is known as Becca, and the Cullens are changed to the Sullens. Not only do you get one Twilight movie spoof, but they take on all three of the Twilight films. I will say there are a few parts in this film that made me laugh, and when I say few I mean a few. There was a chihuahua pack instead of a werewolf pack, and to make it worse, they were gay guys singing "It's Raining Men." I did enjoy the part where Becca beats up her dad and maces him and the scene where the guy in the wheel chair gets the crap beat out of him, but I must say the best part of the whole film was (get ready for a big spoiler now) the credits. I was so happy once it ended. I had to watch this film in three parts just to get through it. Vampires Suck is from the guys who brought us Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie. Somehow they keep getting funds for these dreadful spoofs. PLEASE STOP ALREADY! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

I wanted to rip out my eyes by the end of this film and I came to the conclusion that vampires are not the only ones that suck! The title tells you exactly what this movie is. It sucks.

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