Movie Review: Roid Rage (2011)

Written & Directed by Ryan Lightbourn

Starring John Russo, Ben Evans and Zach Canfield

After viewing a trailer for this film I found myself intrigued, the idea of a man with a killer, flesh eating hemorrhoid on the loose, chomping on prostitutes or anyone else who gets in his way sounded just so.....delicious. The films tag-line alone was more then awesome, “This is one salad you don't want to toss.”

I was lucky enough to contact Ryan Lightbourn and he was generous enough to send me a link to view his film. And although I was disappointed to find that his film was in fact only 13 minute long, I quite enjoyed what he had put together with what he called, “A 1-man crew, almost non-existent budget short made by a few college buddies.”


Roid Rage is the story of Sammy Jenkins, a normal guy living a boring normal life, until a genetic mutation caused by his job as a janitor at a nuclear power plant causes his world to turn upside down. And he finds that his persistent hemorrhoid problem has turned into something that a tube of medicated cream just isn't going to take care of. He finds himself suddenly blessed with a unique weapon which he puts to good use against unsuspecting hookers and the men responsible for his deformity who are out to stop him. A weapon...in the shape.....of a giant, killer, jagged-toothed hemorrhoid.

There were three great scenes packed into this baby and all are worth mentioning. The doctors office scene, where Sammy goes to visit his ultra-creepy proctologist who seems way too eager to dig “deeply” into his problem, the hooker scene where he is asked, “Hey big boy, you like having your salad tossed?” To which he replies, “You have no idea.....” She takes him back to her place where they party it up and do the deed. The sex finished off with the hooker getting taken out by the hungry hemorrhoid. Sammy splits, but not before taking her money and her dope (as any self-respecting killer of prostitutes would do) It ends with the third scene, which is a gun battle between Sammy and members of a clean-up team sent by the power plant to take him down. After dispatching all the team members, he stands over the lone survivor and asks him who sent them. Once he gets the information, he turns around, drops his trousers and delivers the coup-de-grace.....Roid Rage style!

The film is open-ended with Sammy on the run from F.B.I. agents who are hot on his tail, hopefully leaving room for what Lightbourn told me was a Christmas Special which is in the works and hopefully a full length feature in the future. I sure hope so, cause this is the kind of campy, bloody goodness that horror movie heaven is made of.

7 out of 10

Reviewed by KennyB