Movie Review: Madison County (2011)

Directed by Eric England

Starring Katie Stegeman, Joanna Sotomura and Nick Principe

“Legend has it the rural area of Madison County has been the hunting ground of the country’s most ruthless serial killer of them all, the hog-masked Damien Ewell, who has never been caught. The locals claim he doesn't exist but a group of college kids is about to find out the truth when their quest for a missing author of a book about the crimes turns into a savage fight for survival.” Or at least, that's what the description on the box-cover says.

Here’s how it plays out once you hit the play-button though....

Five dumb-ass meddling kids with some of the worst decision-making skills imaginable head off into the mountains looking for the author of a book on a local serial killer. The nerd, the pretty-boy, the two hot chicks and the bad-boy. They are met by unwelcoming locals at every turn but still insist on trespassing on private property, breaking into people houses and basically begging to be killed at every turn. Eventually, one of them comes up with the brilliant idea of splitting up so they can increase the odds of finding the answers to their questions. Once separated they are picked off one by one by a clumsy serial killer in a hog mask, who nearly gets his ass whooped several times but still manages to get the job done. On 3 separate occasions the kids have the opportunity to administer a kill-shot on the pig-dude but simply drop their weapon and run instead, only to have the pig-man of coarse, rise again to continue chase.

This is a slasher flick that is so utterly cliche, had it been funny for even one second it could have been a parody. From the prototypical teenage crew to every single girl forgetting how to run while being pursued through the woods, to the surprise ending that's really no surprise at all.

This movie did nothing but go through the motions, and you knew exactly what was about to happen right before it did (every time).

There were five kill scenes in all, three involved a chef’s knife, one with an ax and one with a broken bat handle, all were poorly edited with super close-ups where you really wouldn't know what was happening if it weren't for the moans and occasional dripping of blood from someones shirt. The most painful part of this movie though was the fact that the film maker in his infinite wisdom chose to make the audience wait 46 minutes before it was time to start slashing in his slasher film. 46 minutes of painfully mundane dialogs and complete nonsense.

With no nudity and no comedy to pick up the slack on a poorly conceived movie this one was fucking doomed before the first day of filming. I'm sure I'm sounding like a harsh dick on this one but seriously guys....it is what it is, a complete stinker.

If you walk away from this one feeling anything but insulted (as a horror fan) then your a bigger man (or woman) then I am.

3 out of 10