by Peggy Christie This movie follows Dylan (Brandon Routh), a once ‘keeper of the balance’ between all the supernatural creatures in the world (yep, they’re real). Apparently, all the creatures of the night (a phrase used a little too often through the flick for my tastes) designate a human to be an unbiased peace keeper/ investigator. Unfortunately, the vampire elders killed Dylan’s wife (or girlfriend or fiancé) so he slaughtered them and decided to become a private eye instead and leave the supernatural world behind.
Too bad our resolutions can never be kept, huh?
A young woman’s father is murdered and asks for Dylan’s help. Reluctantly, he is pulled back into the world of vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc., along with his side-kick, Marcus (the ever adorable Sam Huntington). The good news is Dylan is still a bad-ass detective and his name is still mostly respected by the creatures of the night (oy). The bad news is Marcus gets caught in the crossfire and is killed by some super zombie beast. The other good news is that Marcus comes back to life and can continue to help Dylan. The other bad news is that he’s a zombie now and in hysterical fashion, refuses to believe it.
Our two heroes start to investigate the murder and find themselves caught up in an ancient mythology that could end…something. Honestly I wasn’t paying much attention at this point.
The premise of this movie sounded fantastic. It could have been such a great flick. The potential was there. I could almost touch it. But alas, it never really built into anything more than something slightly entertaining, with a few giggles thrown in from time to time.
The story wandered around and there was a lot of exposition. It felt like a 1940s PI movie without all the fast talking and fedoras. That right there made me lose interest quickly. Halfway through the movie I was playing on my iPad so I lost even more of the exposition.
*shrug*
The special effects were kinda weak, though I know this was a lower budget film. But the big baddie was lame and not all that frightening. Brandon Routh was a little flat, I never felt a whole lot of emotion from him. And he should have been wearing his heartbroken-tortured-lover heart like one of those Brazilian feather headdresses brought out at Carnival. I think his got misty eyed. Once.
Sam Huntington is amusing as Marcus, even before he’s turned into a zombie. Afterwards, though, he’s funny. It’s rather amusing to watch someone REFUSE to believe he’s a zombie despite the discolored flesh, his missing arm and torn open abdomen, the smell, waking up in a morgue drawer…
Not a terrible film but not a great one either. Easily forgettable but entertaining for a minute or two.
2.5 Hatchets
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