Exit stage left? Nope, Exit Humanity. The beginning voice over tells us that there’s a war between the living and the dead. This zombie plague has nearly wiped out the human race. Wanna know how it started? Conveniently, we found this diary of a Confederate soldier, dating back to the end of the Civil War.
Edward Young has seen Hell. His first zombie sighting is during a battle. Though he can’t imagine the cause, he accepts it and tries to return to a normal post-war life with his wife and child. Unfortunately, the dead won’t let him.
After having to kill his family, Edward decides to make his son’s resting place one of peace – a water fall he saw during the war that he drew for the boy and promised to visit with him one day. Only in death will the boy get to see it.
And, as would be the case with any long journey that doesn’t involve car or plane travel, there is plenty of opportunity to run afoul of the walking dead, as well as a few straggling humans that want to reshape the world into a better place.
Edward meets a cast of colorful characters – some nice (pretty girl who might hold the cure), some mysterious, some witchy, some douchy, and some completely wacked out with delusional dreams of grandeur. Can he survive the living and the dead as he struggles on his quest?
I’d never heard of this movie though I am very familiar with most of the cast: Dee Wallace Stone (witch), Bill Moseley (delusional General), Stephen McHattie (drugged out surgeon trying to find a cure), Brian Cox (narrator). Honestly, if I had known Bill Moseley was in it from the start, I probably wouldn’t have watched it. I never liked his acting but he did a fantastic job in this so yay!
Mark Gibson played Edward Young. He was very good and I’m surprised he hasn’t done more work (2 movies and an episode in a TV series). I’m not saying he’s another Gary Oldman but for an unknown, I was impressed. He made Edward sympathetic and relatable.
Moseley played the General with relaxed psychosis. I never got the feeling that this guy ran around chopping off heads. He used a more subversive approach to get people to follow him. Made him more menacing, I thought.
Pretty much everyone else was more meh. I never cried when anyone had to be ‘put down’, except Edward’s horse. Then I cried like a baby. Maybe I got a little misty one other time.
The writing lacked some movement. I didn’t need a scene where Edward played Russian Roulette with himself for 10 minutes. Either blow your brains out or move on, dude. Your barbaric yawps got kinda old after a while as well. Then the writers made Edward into some kind of zombie whisperer. So weird and it felt thrown in just so we could get the climactic scene.
Over all I was entertained and might be persuaded to watch again with someone who hasn’t seen it.
3 Hatchets
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