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April 24, 2012

The Movie Burrito: Uncle Farts' Dirty Movie Theater, Savage Island, Bigfoot, Pound of Flesh & The Prophecy

In this edition of Cinema Head Cheese’s The Movie Burrito we’ve packed in a high quantity of goodness that's sure tickle your fancy. We take a look at five very different titles that range from soft-core filth with Uncle Farts’ Dirty Movie Theater, the Linda Blair revenge picture Savage Island, John Carradine hamming it up in the sasquatch flick Bigfoot, Malcolm McDowell as a professor/pimp in Pound of Flesh and finally the criminally underrated The Prophecy starring (a pimp in his own sense) Christopher Walken.

Independent Entertainment is doing a similar compilation route that sister label After Hours Cinema (All under Alternative Cinema) has found useful in packaging adult titles, only the compilation that I’m speaking of,  Uncle Farts Dirty Movie Theater is primarily soft-core adult fare. It's not a bad thing though, as this marathon collection of sleaze does have its growl towel soaking moments. Four films are included on this third edition of the series: Adultery for Fun and Profit, Involuntary Bird, She'll Do Alright and First Time.

Along with these features are the all important cartoon wrap-around segments with Uncle Farts and his nephew scooper. Uncle Farts runs a movie theater in this installment while Scooper plays the movies. As compared to the previous Uncle Farts releases, the jokes have actually gotten better. Some are downright terrible but I did find myself chuckling a bit. Now for the movies, She’ll Do All Right and First Time are the winners. She’ll Do Alright delivers plenty of sex - including scenes with the likes of Herschel Savage and John Leslie, God-awful dubbing, cat hoarding jokes. First Time takes close second place with porn legend, Joey Silvera,  pulling off some over-the-top greatness as a wife-beating slob. Four films come on two discs along with the usual Alternative Cinema trailer reel.

Keeping in the t&a and sleaze discussion we mosey on over to Full Moon Features Grindhouse release of Savage Island. Excorcist star turned B-movie bosom baring juggernaut, Linda Blair, stars in Savage Island This slice of sleaze spins the tale of female slaves who decide to revolt against their captors.  In short, this film’s a mess being that it pretty much uses footage from another film edited together with Blair’s scenes.

Blair narrates much of the film so she can explain to the viewer what the fuck we’re watching. Something to look out for: Penn Jillette gets top-billing but sees only a few minutes of screen time before Blair puts a bullet in his head. Even worse than the film, is the quality of the source material, it’s obviously vhs sourced and extremely dark and muddy in night scenes. Full Moon does give a warning in the beginning of the picture that this was the best source available.

Venturing away from the nudity rich previous titles – unless you like naked Bigfoots – is a look at Cheezy Flax’s release of the so-bad-it’s-sorta-good Bigfoot from Robert F. Slatzer (The Hellcats). John Carradine and John Mitchum are a couple of hunters that think they have a lead on the legendary Bigfoot’s whereabouts. In addition to these two dimwits we also have a group of bikers (not the cool kind) in search of a missing woman. Bigfoot is poorly shot and paced, with some dreadful make-up FX but what I could see almost felt like a Sid and Marty Kroft joint. The Abbott and Costello hijinx of Mitchum and Carradine also helps in it's own odd way to make this sloppy Sasquatch passable for fans of crap.

Probably the worst thing a movie can have going against it, is that it’s boring. Tamar Simon Hoff’s sluggish Pound of Flesh is exactly that type of film we most fear here at the cheese. Malcolm McDowell plays Professor Noah Melville, a successful teacher who has become an even more successful high-end escort service entrepreneur. Sounds awesome, right? It should be, but unfortunately what we get is a listless murder mystery with very little nudity. On the positive side, the movie does look very polished and the Blu-ray looks quite good. My suggestion: Track down the Criterion Collection of IF and enjoy some vintage Malcolm in that.

For anyone who's bargain Blu-ray hunting here’s a title from Echo Bridge Entertainment. Gregory Widen’s sleeper hit from 1995, The Prophecy, is now available on Blu-ray. Not to be confused with the mutated bear epic of the same name, this feature showcases none other than Christopher Walken as the archangel Gabriel. While it is a bit disjointed, The Prophecy delivers some effective chills and a slightly over-the-top performance by Walken. Walken is just being Walken, but damn he’s a whole hell of a lot of fun playing a bad guy.

If you have interest in purchasing any of these titles be sure to click on the handy dandy Amazon link!

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