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April 14, 2012

Movie Review: The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol (2010)

Directed by Aramis Sartorio

Starring Aramis Sartorio, Daisy Sparks and Camilla Lim

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol is an amazing comedy, I'll  just get that out of the way right off the bat. It also happens to be a great little low-budget horror movie. The subject matter ranges from the silly to the just plain old gross and inappropriate. And if your looking for something fresh, original and inspired in a movie viewing experience, then look no further because director, producer and star of the show, Aramis Sartorio has something really special cooked up for you here.

Tommy (Aramis Sartorio) is a down-on-his-luck, irresponsible and out of work aspiring actor who is having a tough time coping with the pressures of every day life, and after losing his job (once again), his wife decides she's had her fill, she takes the baby and rides off into the sunset. We cut to one year later and Tommy is in pretty bad shape. His life now consists of eating convenience store hot dogs, watching porn and getting his groove on with a penis-pump. While in the act of indulging in all of the aforementioned hobbies, he drifts off to sleep where he has a series of dreams, all based on his dashed hopes of becoming a big Hollywood star.

In his first dream, Tommy is a naive budding actor who has risked it all to come to Tinseltown and realize his dream of making it big. He lands a gig and soon realizes he is to be the star of the show. Unfortunately, the movie he will be starring in is a snuff-film and Tommy is the one that's going to be doing the snuffing. Tommy doesn't know what a snuff-film is though, and after getting his proper motivation from the camera man, he takes to his part like a fish to water. And after turning a hapless actress into a greasy stain with a cheese grater he turns to his camera-man and says, “Wow! Those were some great special-effects! She felt so real!” (One of the greatest lines ever).

The second dream sequence is probably the weakest of the three but was still fun. This time Tommy is trying to weasel his way onto an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie set, which looks like its set up in the yard of a tile and granite store (you gotta love low-budget movies). He has decided he is going to take over as the star of the movie and the best way to go about it is to skin Arnold alive and use the skin as a suit to trick the world into thinking he is the new Arnold. The scene where he walks out of the tent with Arnold's face strapped on his head is fucking priceless. Eventually he ends up in a kung-fu movie style showdown with an Asian crew member on the set.

The third and final dream sequence is by far the best of the bunch and had to be some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. This time, Tommy is a big-shot porn director who's having trouble with “the talent”. His starlet has some type of radioactive staff infection that seems to be spreading across her body. In a rush to get the shoot over with, Tommy has the girl do her dildo scene while covered in puss-filled sores and I must say, this is something that has to be seen to be believed. Upon awakening from these nightmares, Tommy's nasty habits catch up to him and the climax implied in the movies title is revealed. ( think worst-case-scenario after having your junk worked over in a penis pump for an hour and a half).

Aramis Sartorio has shown the world what one motivated individual with a small budget and big dreams is really capable of achieving. Not only did he create an amazingly original story filled with hilarious and over-the-top characters, he also hit the mark in the lead role and shows a pretty good range as an actor. This guy is talented, and I am talking “Sacha Baron Cohen Talented”. If you like your movies gut busting funny, gory and just plain old inappropriate on just about every level imaginable then do whatever you have to, to get your hands on this movie. It is a must-see.

8 out of 10 Reviewed by KennyB

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