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January 27, 2013

Movie Review: The Hellcats (1968, Cheezy Flicks)

Directed by Robert Slatzer
Starring Ross Hagen, Dee Duffy and Sharyn Kinzie
Run Time: 90 minutes
Rated: R

When an undercover narcotics agent is killed by a mafia boss’s hitman, his brother, a battle weary Vietnam veteran, and the dead agents grieving girlfriend decide to avenge his death by going undercover to infiltrate a biker gang known as The Hellcats. The Hellcats happen to be employed by said mafia boss as drug runners and Monte, (Ross Hagen) don’s his riding leathers and does his best bad-boy impersonation to gain favor in the gang.  Once he and Linda, (Dee Duffy) pass their initiation into the gang they are immersed in the seedy world of the biker gang lifestyle, doing all the fun stuff outlaw bikers did back in the 60‘s... like drinking Busch beer, smoking seedy, stemmy dirt weed, dropping acid and killing each other for no apparent reason. Let the good times roll! After the party comes to a screeching halt due to a drug deal gone bad, Linda is kidnapped by the mafia boss and its up to Monte to save not only her but his new friends, The Hellcats, from certain death.

Oh man, lets just cut to the chase here, this movie was epically bad on just about every conceivable level. The kind of movie that was made for watching while stoned out of your mind. Can you dig it? Picture a movie where the actors are so bad it appears that they are often times stiffly reading their lines off of cue cards. Where the only thing that comes across as believable are the party scenes, which are too good to be acting, (these fuckers were getting smashed while making this film, trust me). When you toss in the absolutely absurd story-line, choppy film editing and lack of even the most basic of frontal nudity, (why the R rating if there’s no boobage?), you have what may be not only one of the worst biker movies but possibly one of the worst movies ever made... period. Easy Rider this movie Is Not. But...

Just because a movie is bad doesn't mean its not a complete blast to watch. And The Hellcats definitely fits into the category of “so bad its good” movies. If your one of those people who enjoys sitting back and marveling at a film that actually takes itself quite seriously while at the same time being as inept as a third-grade school play, then this one is right up your alley. There’s a reason Mystery Science Theater dedicated an episode to this stinker, it's just so ripe for persecution. My personal favorite aspect of this film was the soundtrack, which was an eclectic mix of bass-heavy 60‘s beatnik jazz and really awful British pop songs that will make you wanna puke. It delivers the same kind of unintentional laughs that a movie like Plan 9 From Outer Space is gonna give you. Bad-Movie fans, this one is nothing short of a total hoot. People looking for cinematic substance, well, your in the wrong movie aisle.

I never cease to be impressed by the movies that Cheezy Flicks has in its DVD line-up. They really are masters of knowing which bad movies deliver the highest fun-factor for those of us with the lowest of low standards.

Final Word-

It's a gawd-awful movie, just breathtakingly bad... and I loved just about every minute of it.

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