Buy Children of Corn V and Children of the Corn VI on Blu-ray!
I don’t know how many people can disappear before the
National Guard blows up this stupid town, but a group of older, college-aged
kids breakdown, shack up in an abandoned house and get molested by the
worshippers of He Who Walks Behind the Rows… our Canola God. In all actuality,
this wasn’t a bad little flick. It wasn’t a good little flick, either. For
being the fifth sequel in a tired franchise, it held it’s own. The semi-precious gem is notable for an
early Eva Mendes appearance. Meow. The truly horrible pile of steaming crap is
next. He’s baaack!
Children of the Corn 666:
Isaac’s Return… I just don’t know what to say. Issac (John Franklin) was
that horribly creep kid from the original film. Not Malachi, the redhead (that
was Courtney Gaines), but the leader. He looked like Kid Rock’s former sidekick
Joe C. You remember! Good. Well, he’s back. Still a ‘little person,’ still
creepy but something is off. What is it… I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Hmmmm. Oh, yeah. He’s forty years old now and, by my math, he was twenty-five
in the original.
Do you remember the first time you say an older Gary Coleman
or Emmanuel Lewis and you were like, wow, what the hell happened? Get ready for
that for 80 fun-filled minutes. Besides the fact that this entry into the
franchise is as inane as can possibly be imagined, you might get some perverted
joy watching Isaac act like he’s all grown up. Yeesh. I quit.
As you might expect, the video quality is pretty much at a
DVD plus level. The transfer is well done and would look great if the source
material weren’t such a pile. Or, it was the utter stupidity of the films that
made my eyes blur. Either way, you’re in for a treat.
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