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September 24, 2011

Movie Review: Nude Nuns With Big Guns (2011)

Growing up Catholic and being enrolled in Catholic School until the ninth grade, I naturally had many experiences both positive and negative with nuns. Most of which were unfortunately the latter. These sisters weren’t the easiest on the eyes, as most resembled Robbie Coltrane's drag portrayal from Nuns on the Run. Joseph Guzman's Nude Nuns with Big Guns doesn't have the fugly nuns that I grew up with on display, but it does offer more than enough gratuitous skin and gun-toting, revenge-seeking nuns.

Buy Nude Nuns With Big Guns on Blu-ray and DVD

 Asun Ortega plays the attractive and slender protagonist, Sister Sara. After several of her fellow nuns are slaughtered by the evil, drug-running Chavo ( David Castro), as the lone survivor she's forced to take on the duties of pleasuring sloppy, disgusting johns. Sister Sara is doped up ala Thriller: A Cruel Picture so she can stomach these beasts pounding her sacred vagina. Divine intervention assists Sister Sara and she soon experiences an epiphany that gives her the strength against the drug dealing evil doers and eventually her captor, Chavo.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns was originally a short film - which is included on the disc as an extra - and in a lot of ways that short running time makes the nunsploitation gimmick much more tolerable, instead Nude wears out its welcome with a multitude of irritating "Grindhouse" homage’s. There is plenty of violence, tons of nudity and plenty of content that will surely get under the skin of squeamish religious folks, so in the end it's not a total loss – just not as good as the wonderful title suggests.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast just featured Image Entertainment's release of Nude Nuns with Big Guns so be sure to check it out right here:

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