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October 8, 2010

Movie Review: Shower of Blood (2004)

by Hayden Davis

Wow. That’s it. Wow. This shot on video vampire epic had more gratuitous nudity than this humble reviewer has seen in many a moon. In a nutshell, 5 teenagers (all played by thirty and forty-something non-actors) are driving to a concert. They decide to spend the night at the home of one of the girl’s uncle. Unbeknownst to the group is the fact that Uncle Marty (Martin Shannon) is an ages old vampire, who happens to be the horniest man on the face of the planet.

Buy Shower of Blood on DVD

Before we’re even 10 minutes into the film, we have already had full frontal nudity, more penis jokes than you can shake a stick at, a vomiting stripper and the debut of the completely over the top Uncle Marty. It just gets better. Characters start to die and come back (it really doesn’t matter in what order) and EVERYONE gets naked. The cast is comprised of a Penthouse model (Robin Brown), a tight real-life fitness instructor (Lia Montelongo) and a Troma Tromette, a girl that was in an ad in the back of Playboy and a few other local strippers.

Shower of Blood is definitely cheaper than a nudie bar and there is no drink minimum. The story is generic kids in a vampire’s house sort of routine, the acting is atrocious and there is a hilarious (unintentionally) sequence of computer generated effects straight out of Super Mario Brothers. On the plus side, there are tons and tons of silicone enhanced breasts, some inventive death scenes, more breasts, great vampire transformations, more breasts and then it is over. The directorial debut of Tiffany Kilbourne is must-see exploitation! DVD transfer is superb (and it should be, considering the movie was shot on Betacam) and features a behind the scenes (more breasts) and a still gallery (of breasts and blood). All you mammophiles out there, get in line to rent Shower of Blood. You won’t be disappointed.

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