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Showing posts with label pirahnaman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pirahnaman. Show all posts

September 10, 2013

Movie Review: Piranha-man Vs. Werewolf-man: Howl of the Piranha

This movie...I just can't...seriously, I lost enough IQ points watching this movie that it's difficult to...I'm at a loss...what a stupid poopy flick.

Our story centers around Lexi Glass (oy vey), a news reporter that first broke a terrifying story: two blonde women have been savagely murdered. Despite the fact that two does NOT make a pattern, she reports the women as victims of a serial killer and his "Baby Doll Murders". Never mind that's the most ridiculous name, considering the women aren't babies or dolls or look like either nor are babies and dolls left at the scenes. The witnesses she interviews on camera claim they heard howling, like a large dog or wolf, near the crime scenes.

Lexi’s boss accuses her of sensationalism (from a news reporter? The hell you say!) and gives the story to Dirty Diane. Can you guess why she has that nickname? *winkwink* Lexi is pissed but continues to follow the story and look for clues. During all of this, Lexi's dreams are quite disturbing: she is at each of crime scene and witnesses some kind of wolfman attacking the women. In between those gruesome visuals, she makes out with some random guy in the woods.

After a bunch of other people are murdered (not all perky blondes, by the way), Diane dons a blonde wig to bait the killer. When it works really really well, Lexi is there to report. Too bad the killer is still around because her cameraman is the next victim while Lexi passes out. In her unconscious state (which I realized it was after the back story is thrown up all over us), a man in a wrestler's mask explains her origins. Her father didn't die in a place crash! Her mother didn't die while birthing her! Her whole life has been a lie!