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October 31, 2010

The Movie Burrito: Volume 6 - Schlock and Awe

In this edition of Cinema Head Cheese’s The Movie Burrito, we have four brand-new DVD releases from Cinema Epoch, SubRosa Cinema and Wild Eye Releasing/MVD Visual.

First up, schlock-master (and reality-TV star) Donald Farmer’s Scream Dream, starring the lovely Melissa Moore. The wicked lead-singer of a god awful heavy metal band possesses buxom beauty, Jamie Summers (Melissa Moore).There’s some blood, a couple pairs of enhanced teets but Scream Dream is truly a rough watch. It opens somewhat well with a topless minx getting chainsawed in her bed, but from there, it drops into a black-hole of ineptness .Don’t get me wrong, I live for movies like this, but Scream Dream is one of the poorest examples of “heavy metal horror”.Even eclipsing, Ferd and Beverly Sebastian’s, Rocktober Blood. The picture quality is also an area where this release fails - it looks like it was sourced from a 10th generation EP tape! Sound quality isn’t that much better, as it hums and buzzes like one of Grandma’s old vibrators. There is a great SubRosa trailer reel though!

Contest: Cannibal Girls DVD from Shout! Factory.

In honor of Halloween and our loyal Cheesers, Cinema Head Cheese is giving away three copies of one of the most anticipated horror titles of 2010, Cannibal Girls. These DVDs come courtesy of the great folks at Shout! Factory!

The contest is simple: Just email us, post on our website or even on our Facebook, in one word to 500 words, how bad you want a brand-spanking new copy of this cult classic. If you do email us at, be sure to title it, "Cannibal Girls Contest".

Winners will be announced in a few weeks. Good luck and have a very safe and fun Halloween!!

Movie Review: Feeding Frenzy (2010)

Through out the '80s and early '90s, Joe Dante's popular horror-comedy Gremlins had quite a bit of imitators. Some of these films actually turned out quite well (Critters, Ghoulies), but others were dreadful (Hobgoblins, Munchies, Beasties). Red Letter Media's Mike Stoklasa (Oranges: Revenge of The Eggplant) and Jay Bauman think it's time to bring the mini-killer creature flicks back with their own goofy and grisly entry Feeding Frenzy.

Hollywood Roadkill: Monster Mashups

In recent years, the horror movie industry has run out of ideas. We're seeing remakes of classic franchises, endless sequels and possibly the worst atrocity of all: the crossover. Alien vs. Predator was shot poorly and made a good guy out of the Predator. Jason vs. Freddy was long awaited and extremely disappointing. The Wolfman met Frankenstein's monster, King Kong faced Godzilla and Mel Brooks met Dracula. All hard to swallow.

These are a few crossovers that thankfully never made it to the big screen.

October 30, 2010

Six Degrees of Cheese: Six Films to Watch on Halloween

Ah, Halloween is upon us once again. The weather is cooling down, leaves are changing colors, haunted attractions return and most importantly...the horror film marathon begins! I watch horror movies repeatedly regardless of the time of year but during October it just seems much more meaningful. Everyone has their favorite horror film's but what if you could just pick 6 to watch on Halloween? Having trouble? Fear not dear cheeser for I've compiled a list of six films of the macabre to view during the season of the witch. Read at your own risk!

October 29, 2010

Versus: Innerspace vs. Osmosis Jones

Versus is designed to compare two or more similar movies or characters in order to determine who or what is the best version. I break it down by category and score each one on a scale of 1 - 5. The highest total score in the end wins. Even I don't know who will win until it's over. This is my game played by my rules. If you don't like it, tough noogies.

Innerspace vs. Osmosis Jones

When I was in the sixth grade, my class earned the chance to spend the afternoon watching a movie. My teacher, Mr. Holly, brought in something that has stuck with me for many years. Innerspace was different and weird, and I loved it. Martin Short, Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid were all bonafide stars that were moving up the ladder. Years later, a similar idea come to light. It was half animated and half live action. It starred Chris Rock and David Hyde Pierce as the heroes and Bill Murray as their host. They were both good, but which was better? This is where I come in.

October 28, 2010

Movie Review: The Midnight Horror Collection - Puppet Master

For the past 35 years, producer, director and writer, Charles Band, has etched his way gradually into B-movie history. The Puppet Master series, - by itself - has given Band a consistent franchise, spawning similar films aimed at Band's audience (Dollman, Demonic Toys ,Gingerdead Man, Shrunken Heads). It still all leads back to the 1989 classic, Puppet Master. After recently releasing a Blu-Ray for the original film, in addition to a new Puppet Master film titled, Puppet Master: Axis Of Evil - Full Moon, in conjunction with Echo Bridge Entertainment are releasing some of the older - more popular - catalog titles. The first of which being, The Midnight Horror Collection: Puppet Master – soon to be issued in a convenient budget pack.


If you’re not already initiated with the Puppet Master story, it involves the plight of Andre Toulon (William Hickey) and his very loyal but deadly puppets. In the first film, Andre decides to put a bullet in his brain while confined in his hotel room by the sea - after discovering he's being stalked by some gentleman in trench coats. This doesn't go very well with his puppets. It makes them pretty angry actually. Now anyone entering the hotel - including a band of quirky psychics - has Andre Toulon's blood on their hands, in the eyes of the puppets.

Book Review: Side-Show Siren by Ed Wood

Ed Wood and the carnival. Those two seem to go hand in hand. Side-Show Siren features hallmarks of Wood topics. The unsuspecting reader gets trickshooting stuntmen (apparently patterned after Kenne Duncan), a giant creature called “The Abominable Snowman,” half-man, half-woman drag queens, lots of weirdo sex, strippers and oily perverted money grubbers. Who could ask for more?

The trouble begins at Duke’s carnival. This rollercoaster of a mystery begins with the death of the area’s circuit court judge. While visiting the carnival with his daughter and her boyfriend, the Judge is found murdered and mangled on the Ferris Wheel. The apparent brutality of the crime implicates Kari (or Karl, depending on where he shows up in the novel), the Abominable Snowman. Only, Kari is nowhere to be found. The police begin a manhunt. Wood describes the carnival in his unique fashion:

Movie Review: L. S. D. Volume 1-3

A young, introverted man, Shouji, is abducted by a group of sex-crazed women and is used as a disposable sex toy. He is drugged and forced to perform repeatedly by the members of the sex club. After his usefulness has been ‘exhausted,’ Shouji is stuffed in a cardboard box and left on railroad tracks with a suicide note. Fortunately for him, he recovers and escapes. Driven to the brink of insanity by the violations of the sex club, Shouji enlists the aid of a young woman, Yuka, to use as bait for the women that tried to kill him. Shouji hunts down these women, through all three volumes, enacts his carnal vengeance (as well as healthy doses of public humiliation) and summarily stuffs them in a cardboard box when he is done. Bondage, orgies and many more fetishes pepper the release.

Movie Review: Renzu/Depravity/LSD

This box set release from NuTech features the following three programs. Each is dealt with individually.

Renzu: Tohru, a stand out soccer player, injures himself when he pushed his friend, the fiery redhead Asuka, out of the way of a moving car. He is injured in the process and can no longer play sports. Tohru is in love with Asuka and still a bit disdainful of the injury. While in the park, he attempts to force himself on the girl resulting in their separation. While away from her, Tohru in turn sleeps with his teacher and goes on a chick-hunting binge with a friend. The lure of Asuka is too great, however, and Tohru would do anything to win her back.

A pretty pedestrian release, without the flair of science fiction or battle-based hentai. There is a decent amount of sexual play, but it is hampered by the plotline. Only given one episode to play out, Renzu feels like it is building but we are cut off early and the story isn’t allowed to unfold.

A nice transfer and keepcase, maybe a little lower than NuTech’s standards. It obviously felt while watching the piece that it was a ‘throw-away’ title, or filler for a box set. I would be interested, however, in seeing the rest of the story and a release of multiple volumes. What we are presented with is nice, has some good scenes but doesn’t follow through. The extent of the extras is a brief art gallery.

Book Review: The Work of Pat Cummings

Children’s literature writer and artist Pat Cummings, whose stories and art have made a great impact on the children’s literature world, had her artistic beginnings all over the world.


Her father, Arthur Cummings, was an Army professional and the family was shuttled off from base to base all over the globe. Cummings’ exposure to the art and cultures of many different nations is quite visible in her artwork. Every new school was an invitation for Pat to use her artwork as an ice-breaker and business venture. In fifth grade she, “...did a healthy business selling ballerina drawings during recess.” From that point on she realized that she could become an artist and still make a living. She graduated from Pratt Institute in the mid-seventies and hasn’t stopped working as an artist since. Her early art career was mainly as a graphic artist, working with the Billie Holiday Theater in New York, painting and designing theater posters. She worked on a freelance basis for many other theaters, including Broadway shows, and all types of advertising campaigns.

Movie Review: Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy - Collector's Edtion

Let me start by saying, I am not a huge fan of the Nightmare On Elm Street series. The original film was fairly brilliant and quite frightening – easily one of Wes Craven's best films. The sequels didn’t portray Freddy Krueger as the true “monster” that he embodied in the first film. I’ve drifted back and forth over the years watching the series grow: the six sequels, Freddy Vs. Jason, the ill advised but inevitable remake and of course, Freddy’s Nightmares. Over the past 25 years, of all the popular movie monsters (Chucky, Jason, Pinhead, Michael Myers), Freddy has reigned supreme. Why not make an epic documentary on all things "Freddy", four-hours in length, and unleash it on all the Freddy-fanatics? Directors, Andrew Kasche and Daniel Farrands, thought that was an excellent idea - but will that bring in the non-fans or those folks in the middle (like myself)?


Heather Langencamp (“Nancy” from the series) narrates Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy. Each film is represented in segments with some seriously creative clay animation at the opening of each “Nightmare” piece. All the films (even the lesser entries like “Nightmare II”) have some interesting production background. Some of the stand-out information I digested in the segment for Nightmare on Elm Street were the origins of the script. It’s based on a real-life tragedy that took place in the Philippines, involving a disturbed and sleep deprived youth. Another link to the story I found intriguing was that one of Craven’s childhood bullies also had an influence on the story. This brought a personal touch that I didn't expect. His name – Freddy. We’re also treated to surprising casting story; British actor, David Warner, was the original choice for “the gloved one” – not Robert Englund.

October 25, 2010

Percy Shelley: Poetry and Prose

Born in 1792 in Field Place, near Horsham in Sussex, England, Percy Shelley steadily rose in prominence and exposure to become one of Great Britain ’s most popular romantic poets and a noted atheist. Shelley was educated at Syon House Academy and Eton . Due to his flamboyant nature and disregard of most authoritative figures (which has been ascribed to his family’s fortune and his being spoiled) Shelley was nicknamed ‘Mad Shelley’ and later ‘Eton Atheist.’ While attending Eton, Shelley published his first work, a Gothic novel called Zastrozzi, in 1810. Later that same year, with his sister Elizabeth published Original Poetry by Victor and Cazire. In 1811, Shelley produced another Gothic romance novel titled St. Irvine, or, The Rosicrucian. At this time, Shelley was attending University College at Oxford . At University, Shelley continued the flamboyant and provocative nature that had gotten him into trouble in his earlier education. At this time, he co-authored a pamphlet, with Thomas Jefferson Hogg, called The Necessity of Atheism and both authors were expelled.

Return to The Angry Red Planet

Academy Award winning special-effects artist Robert Skotak (Aliens, Terminator 2) recalls the first days of school in his 7th grade class. Everyone would rush in to school and regale the other students with tales of monsters, spaceships and evil villains. The movies that the children had seen over their summer vacation took precedence over reading and writing and, certainly, arithmetic. There was one movie in particular that captured the fancies of children and adults alike in the summer of 1960. It was a curious, ambitious combination of talents and artistry called The Angry Red Planet. Angry was a big buzz movie that year,” remembers Skotak. He cites the film as an inspiration in the choice of his own career and a still-strong friendship with Angry’s director/co-writer, sci-fi legend Ib Melchior (Midnight Marquee Books has recently released Ib Melchior’s biography, penned by Robert Skotak, titled Ib Melchior: Man of Imagination). Between The Angry Red Planet’s strange Martian creatures, revolutionary Cinemagic process and non-stop action the stage was set for one of the most popular sci-fi cult films of all time.


Jumping into the story without the benefit of a credit sequence (more on that later), The Angry Red Planet opens on Earth. The ship that had been sent to Mars is finally returning… but something is terribly wrong. The ship returns with only two crewmembers surviving from the original four. Dr. Iris Ryan (Nora Hayden), the beautiful heroine, must recount what happens in a spine-tingling flashback while Earth’s scientists race against the clock to try and stop whatever parasite is attached to Gerald Mohr, the ship’s captain, from killing him. Injected with sodium pentathol, Dr. Ryan is forced to conquer her amnesia and recount the story of their planet-side visit, where the humans are nothing more than insects, bothersome irritants that need to be eliminated. In an unusual cinematic move for that particular era of filmmaking, a woman was the movie’s hero. Nora Hayden’s character saved the day, brought the ship back to Earth and provided the missing information to save her captain’s life. The Angry Red Planet has proven itself a unique slice of science fiction in many different capacities.

Movie Review: Dead Air

Well, for every good idea there is a rip off of that good idea. I’m not sure what came first, but Dead Air is so incredibly reminiscent of Pontypool that I can’t imagine that one wasn’t influenced by the other. Unfortunately, for Dead Air, it comes up on the short end in the comparison.

Dead Air is slick, that’s for sure, but comes across as forced. Television actor Corbin Bernsen’s sophomore directing debut has all the right beats in all the right points, but the overall presentation suffers from a lack of originality.

Book Review: Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange

Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange; Anthony Bozza
Artie Lange is a fascinating guy. He's had the world and his career by the balls for almost a decade. Though he may not be an instantly recognizable name to some, he's been the best part of The Howard Stern Show since he took over for Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling. I didn't pick up the book until after his bizarre suicide attempt almost a year ago. After reading all that Artie's been through, I can understand why a guy like him feels depressed.


Like most comedians, Artie Lange isn't just a non-stop ball of jokes. He's a regular guy who got to pursue an amazing lifestyle. Unfortunately, he hit several speed bumps along the way.

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

As I sat in the theater alone, I think that I enjoyed the movie experience more than the actual movie itself.  It was great to go to the movies early in the afternoon on a Friday, and not have to deal with cell phones or crying children and their parents.  Having said this, Paranormal Activity 2 wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t that good either.  One of the complaints that I had about both movies is that the family relationship is too perfect to begin with-I mean there isn’t any arguing or fighting or even any bad days before the demon arrives.  This lack of “normal behavior” of everything going too perfect is even more noticeable in the second edition.  The mixed family in Paranormal Activity 2 gets along perfectly.  There are no issues between the stepmother, and the daughter nor are there any issues in general.  You won’t hear any money concerns, or any normal everyday problems in paranormal world.   Perhaps everything is just too perfect.  Then, when the demon arrives everything goes haywire.  The family just falls apart so easily, and the tension is made to feel even more overwhelming due to the perfectly perfect family relationship before.

Buy Paranormal Activity 2 on DVD

Movie Review: Forced Entry

Adult films are rarely known for their potent narrative. The crossing of genres - Horror, action, science-fiction - in current porn is quite rare. Aside from the occasional Vivid production (which are mostly parodies), you don't see this too much – if so, it’s executed poorly. In the '70s and even the early '80s , their were many prime examples. One early example of a film that truly crosses two genres, is Shaun Costello's (Midnight Desires, Hot Dreams, Passions Of Carol, Pandora's Mirror and the amazing, Waterpower). Forced Entry - starring Costello's friend at the time, and porn legend, Harry Reems (Deep Throat, Devil in Miss Jones).

Forced Entry, has some interesting history behind it. This film is essentially one of the first - if not the first - features to combine graphic violence with hard-core sex. Forced Entry tells the depressing story of Vietnam veteran (Harry Reems, in an exceptionally skuzzy role), traumatized by flash-backs of his tumultuous tour-of-duty. This certainly doesn't help with the fact that he is also a psychotic and hates woman. His tools of destruction are a gun, a very large blade and his penis. This movie is not an easy watch. It's hardly comparable to Grandmothers Lust or some random Bukkakke offering – it’s just a different type of disturbing. Forced Entry was shot on 16 mm, around 1972-1973 in one day; and is known as one of Costello's most famous "one day wonders". The editing and the insertion of horrific Vietnam war stock footage gives Forced Entry such an authenticism it's hard to erase it from your mind. Forced Entry is gritty, grimy and startlingly voyeuristic in its presentation. You can literally smell what’s on the screen. It has an intensity and realism that will knock - similar films with higher budgets and longer shooting schedules - on their ass.

Video: Jeff Dolniak Interviews Lance Henriksen

At the recent International Horror & Sci-Fi Film Festival at Madcap Theaters in Tempe, AZ, Jeff Dolniak hung out with one of our favorite actors, Lance Henriksen.

Lance was a great guy and lots of fun. Watch the conversation here.

Oh, we're sorry about that damn cricket.

Find Lance Henriksen on

Movie Review: Mission of Darkness/My Life As.../Queen & Slave (Box Set)

In another of NuTech’s Mix and Match Box Sets, the following three volumes are presented. Let’s take each of them individually.

Mission of Darkness
At a longer 45 minute run time than most hentai episodes, MoD overstays its welcome a little. A phallic-shaped alien fires something at Earth and, destroying a space shuttle en route, the thing lands. We learn it is a giant, free form tentacle. It is attracted to female pheromones and goes on a killing spree, impaling women, filling them with its space ooze and causing them to explode. Not too much is done to the tentacle until the military figures out that it is also impregnating men. Men! Now, the greased wheels of government kick into action and something must be done about the beast.

The bright idea was to hire every hooker in the land and line them up for the tentacle. Let it have its way with each of them and hopefully burn the thing out via over sexing. What the government failed to realize, though, is that the tentacle gathers strength and grows every time it has sex.

Movie Review: E. L. (Box Set)

Finally, a NuTech release with a great story and some hot hentai action that doesn’t rely on degradation! In the year 2030, nuclear war devastates the Earth. The survivors started the Megaro Earth Project in order to save humanity. This Project was, essentially, a domed city. Insert our villain, Gimmick of Black Widow, opposing the project. Lady sniper, EL (Shelbee Myrne) is recruited and leads a team of heroes.

In 2030, nuclear war broke out over the environmental pollution issue. Many people lost their lives due to radioactivity. The people, who survived the barren Earth, started the Megaro Earth Project to save human existence. In a last hope for survival against nuclear war, a city was built in a dome in order to save civilization. The city itself is outfitted with camera “eyes” recording the ins and outs (pun intended) of life in Megaro.

Movie Review: Leatherman Box Set

Cruz is a biker. He is a hot biker. He is a hot biker who is also a thief. There you have it in a nutshell. Cruz, in the opening episode, seduces a woman named Shisui. Shisui is, apparently, put into a sex-coma due to Cruz’ passionate biker ways. While she is down for the count, Cruz empties out the company safe and rides off into the sunset.

Shisui’s boss is not very happy, to say the least. It seems Cruz has stolen something that is vital to the company and could damage them greatly. Shisui is sent after Cruz. Now, this storyline crops up from time to time, but isn’t the focus of the show.

The real story tells the sordid tale of Cruz, the biker from a couple paragraphs above, who will sleep with any woman alive. He spends a few days with a nun (yes, nun), some UFO watchers, nurses, etc. The entirety of the show is spent watching Cruz ride around on his bike and bed a succession of women.

October 24, 2010

Movie Review: Assault Of The Sasquatch (2010)

Does Bigfoot exist? Scientists, scholars and ordinary folks alike wonder this decades old mystery. This giant "man-ape" has captivated, and at the same time caused terror for residents of the pacific-northwest. Whether you think Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) exists ;is up for discussion, but one thing is for certain, this curiosity is alive in movies. The two most notable films in the Bigfoot genre are Legend Of Boggy Creek and (shockingly enough) Harry and the Hendersons. We've seen several other attempts at the cinematic Sasquatch in Creature from Black Lake, Boggy Creek II - one of the better Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes, in my opinion- ,Shreik Of the Mutilated - where our furry pal wears a white coat as a "Yeti," the wonderfully tasteless gore-fest, Night Of The Demon -a British Video Nasty, that really delivers on the "nasty"- and the recent abomination, Abominable, starring Lance Henriksen. Not too long ago, Chiller - a horror film channel on cable owned by NBC - showed Sasquatch Attack. Shot in 2009,by director Andrew Gernhard, Sasquatch Attack, now has a new title for its DVD incarnation, Assault Of The Sasquatch.

Movie Review: Pontypool

Pontypool is an ambitious effort. It is smart, atmospheric and filled with enough tension and paranoia to keep most intelligent horror fans happy. There is a downside, though. The film may be a bit too smart and its plot conventions come across as a bit confusing.

Pontypool is based off the series of novels by screenwriter Tony Burgess. Now, to be fair, with the limitations of film, the idea of Pontypool is a difficult one to get across. Burgess does his best and the end result is very impressive. Bruce MacDonald’s direction is top notch as well. It helps that I’m a sucker for one location movies. Intrinsic claustrophobia is an effective tool and MacDonald and Burgess are right on the money. Pontypool is, thankfully, a departure from the standard infected person/zombie sub-genre and works on multiple levels.

Movie Review: Dead Snow (Blu-Ray)

Those damn Norwegians. Seriously, man! Why can’t I just be left alone with my own cool ideas? I mean, Nazi zombies… I thought I had the market cornered. Raise a little cash, make a movie about Der Fuhrer’s shambling undead and rake in the cash.

Damn Norwegians. Not only did they make my movie, but they made it better than I could have.

I dug Dead Snow. From beginning to end, plot hole to plot hole, physical impossibility to physical impossibility, this film just rocked. Set in modern day Norwegia (I kid, its Norway , even though I did go to public school), a group of hikers go to a cabin to drink, carouse, get laid, etc. While there, they find a stash of Nazi gold from the time during World War II when the Nazis occupied the small town. Taking Nazi gold doesn’t sit well with the indigenous Nazi zombie population and, well, you can garner the rest. What Dead Snow becomes, though, is a fun as hell, Raimi-esque gorefest filled with slapstick humor. What works so well about Dead Snow is, once the undead Nazis get going, it speaks in the universal language of the horror film. Gore, blood, gore, entrails, blood and some more blood.

Score on Blu-Ray! Never Sleep Again on DVD!

A few DVD releases on the Cinema Head Cheese radar from Cult Epics and CAV. Click the images to enlarge.

Movie Review: I Spit On Your Grave (1978) and (2010)

As a cult film fan, I subject myself to many horrible things in the name of cinema. Many times it's worth it, as a layer of humanity is revealed, or I learn to think about something in a very different way. Sometimes the experience is empty but still entertaining, if a bit icky. And sometimes you wonder why you bothered.

The rape-revenge film is a subset of revenge films. A woman is raped, sometimes killed, and someone - a husband or the woman herself - takes revenge on the rapist, subjecting him/them to some sort of ironic end that makes the audience applaud and feel good about watching someone castrated or otherwise mangled and murdered. I'm not judging here, because I'd never be able to cast the first stone, as it were.

Buy the original I Spit on Your Grave on DVD or get the remake on DVD or Blu-Ray on

A couple of weeks ago, I won a seat to a double feature of rape-revenge films. Indeed, it was the originator of the sub-genre, "I Spit On Your Grave" and the remake of same. The directors of both films were in attendance to give some justification to their films. (In my opinion there is none for the remake, but I'll get into that in a moment.)

21st Century Grindhouse: Blood Moon Rising on Blu-Ray in November!

This November, the CHC Crew are going to be pretty happy. The very first Blu-Ray release that we were involved with will hit store shelves. Blood Moon Rising, starring Ron Jeremy, Laurie Love and Neal Trout (and written and directed by Brian Skiba) will finally be available in that 1080 goodness that makes us drool. Produced by our very own David C. Hayes and featuring Jeff Dolniak & Kevin Moyers, BMR is a throwback to the era of the grindhouse film. So, to fill you in, we’ve prepared a short history of the exploitive genius forefathers that paved the way for this new release. 


The grindhouse is actually a uniquely American term that stood for a theater, or drive in, that would show exploitation films. These exploitation films rarely had big stars and contained, not surprisingly, more lurid subject matter. Teenage gangs roamed the silver screen, followed by vampires and werewolves, large-breasted Nazi she devils, fifty foot spiders and anything else the American sub-conscious could wrap it’s fears around. And don’t expect to recognize the actors… at least not at first. The grindhouse was home to the lowest of the low budget. Directors like Dwain Esper, H. G. Lewis, Ed Wood and many others would present material that decent, hard working and “normal” folks just wouldn’t get. It was lurid… it was disturbing… it was, well, a helluva a lot fun. The 1940s brought us burlesque in the grindhouse, adding that age-old staple of full frontal female nudity that we have, now, come to demand from our exploitation film masters. The 1950s graced us with the giant, irridated monster that ate small, God-fearing towns and were a result of atomic energy (like the kind used to destroy innocent civilians in Japan) gone awry. The 1960s brought us the counter culture, flickering from our silver screens, as teenage gangs, oiled up and angry, were ready for a fight. And don’t forget out pot smoking, free love motorcycle gangs… they were in on the action as well. In the 1970s, the grindhouse even made us think a little as we cringed in our seats. Metaphysical pursuits, religion and the transmutation of not only body, but soul combined to scare our pants off time and time again. In the 1980s, the mindless, soulless killer of youth, the slasher, came to prominence. Scarier in it’s simplicity, our nightmares were haunted by shambling, unkillable, butchering machines… and you cannot reason with a machine. The 1990s, sadly, brought us nothing. Home video had boomed to such a point that the drive-in and grindhouse were pretty much things of the past.

But, like a bad penny, you can’t keep your true monsters down. With that said, we give to you… Blood Moon Rising on Blu-Ray. Coming this November!

Movie Review: Stan Helsing (Blu-Ray)

I really can’t believe I made it all the way through this. The owners of the Scary Movie franchise, or the creators of Date Movie and Disaster Movie and whatever Movie Movie is out there should thank the heavens above, because Stan Helsing has set the bar so low that even the Arizona legislature could pull off a better show. Uugh, let’s get this over with.

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is a slacker that works in a video store. He is descended from the famousVan Helsing that killed Dracula and a group of poorly spoofed movie monsters needs to end the bloodline. When I say poorly spoofed, I mean really bad. How about a Jewish Michael Meyers (because that makes so much sense), a Pinhead dart rip and a Jason-esque character among others? Whatever. So, Stan gets stranded, with his friends, in a weird little town on Halloween where Leslie Nielson, in drag, manages to say some stupid dialogue.

Movie Review: Someone's Knocking at the Door (Blu-Ray)

What a freaking trip. I mean, seriously, there are some good drugs going around the indie horror scene right now and I feel a little left out. Chad Ferrin’s Someone’s Knocking at the Door is a case example of that. Playing like a micro-budget, but meaner, version of Jacob’s Ladder, the film is exactly what you’d expect from a Vicious Circle release… except weirder.

In a nutshell, a group of medical school students do a lot of drugs. Always looking for their next high, they stumble upon the pharmacological therapy and study of a married pair of convicted killers, John and Wilma Hopper (the always creepy Ezra Buzzington and Elina Madison) that would, literally, screw people to death. Somehow tapping into the energy of these long dead murderers, the medical students begin to drop like flies. Violated flies, but flies nonetheless. The carnage is intense and, like any good creep-fest, things are most definitely not what they seem.

Movie Review: The Longest Yard (1974)

Football. Football. Football! When there are no games on Sunday, you’ll have to look elsewhere to get that pigskin fix. Look no further than the classic 1974 comedy The Longest Yard. Directed by Robert Aldrich and starring Burt Reynolds (he was seriously funny in his day) The Longest Yard is, quite possibly, one of the best films made about football to date. It was so good, in fact, that the remake starringAdam Sandler, Steve Austin and Goldberg, doesn't hold a candle to the original. Burt (who played for Florida State and was even drafted by the Baltimore Colts) plays Paul Crewe, football superstar sent to prison for stealing his girlfriend’s car. While there, the warden (Eddie Albert) realizes who Crewe is and plans to have him coach a team comprised of prison guards for a competition. This idea doesn’t fly with Crewe and, after being challenged, Crewe says he can put together a team of inmates to actually beat the guards. After seeing a practice and being afraid of how far along the inmates are coming, the warden offers an early release to Crewe if he throws the game. Crewe has a tough decision to make, but the self esteem of his inmate team is more important and the inmate team goes on to play some tough ball.

The Longest Yard works on a few levels. As a comedy, it ranks very high on the laugh scale (if you doubt me, just wait for the world’s funniest “football to the groin” scene in all of film history) but, more subtly, the film works as a pretty powerful drama. We get up close and personal with some prison inmatesthat have given up on everything, until they are presented with a chance to prove themselves on the field.

Movie Review: Blackmail (Box Set)

Originally released in Japan in 2000, Blackmail, content-wise, is most definitely an acquired taste. Lush colors, brilliant transfer and good animation aren’t enough to wash the degradation and humiliation storyline out and it pummels away with a constant barrage of unsettling images.
Like all of Nutech’s box set releases, Blackmail features a beautiful color slip case (slightly marred by the “Totally Uncensored” emblazoned across it) housing the three-disc set, each in their own keep case and each featuring one of the main characters. The audio on the discs is available in English & Japanese (both in Dolby Stereo) with optional English subtitles. Like the other Nutech releases, two of the character voices are performed by American adult film actresses. This time we are treated to the vocal stylings of Tabitha Stevens and Misty Rain. Blackmail features a very nice digital transfer that looks to be computer colored additionally.

October 22, 2010

Movie Review: Porno

Brazilian erotica has unfortunately been seldom viewed at the Cinema Head Cheese compound. Cult films from nearly every corner of the world have been represented in abundance on this website. However, Brazilian films have been lacking in our overall content... so something had to change. Aside from the occasional over-the-top Sady Baby grotesquerie and the frequent viewings Blame it on Rio - usually watching Michelle Johnson's scenes in slow-motion, over and over and over - which is just filmed in Rio and hardly representative of the beautiful women that inhabit this amazing South American country. It's not a secret - Brazilian women are some of the most gorgeous creatures in the world. What DVD company could possibly aid us in our search for the supreme examples of "Pornochanchada"? That's where genre label, Impulse films come in. So far, Impulse has put out three recent DVDs featuring "Pornochanchada": Chick's Ability, Alfredo Sternheim's jaw-dropping oddity, Violence and Flesh and today's review, Porno.

TV on DVD: Benny Hill: The Complete Megaset - The Thames Years, 1969 to 1989

On January 21st, 1924, a young British woman in Southhampton Hampshire, England gave birth to a comedy legend. That comedy legend, was the incomparable Alfred Hawthorn Hill; otherwise known as Benny Hill. Benny Hill passed away 18 years ago, but nearly all the bawdy, irreverent and outrageous humor Benny was so famous for - is conveniently packaged in this new release from A&E Home Video, Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989. With more than 50 hours of material - including supplemental material -, this particular DVD set features fifty-eight episodes of the show, on eighteen DVDs. Sounds like a lot of material? It is, but for fans and Benny Hill completists, Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989, has a great deal to offer those who adore the much admired cross-dressing, comedic chameleon.

Buy Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989 on

All of Benny Hill's memorable characters, including : Moira Anderson, Mrs.Fripp, Sheridan Morely, Bobby Gently, Lord Boothby, Fred Scuttle, Chow Mein; and even celebrities such as Orson Welles and W.C Fields are present and given life through Benny’s numerous modifications. Benny’s talents don’t just revolve around a few different characters, it’s a world of individuals that inhabit Benny’s universe. One of my personal favorites is “ITV’s Most Loyal Viewer”, Mrs. Fripp . Mrs. Fripp is basically a TV addict who doesn’t leave her chair - and stares at a television set, as if she were under some kind of spell. Other amusing skits you can also look forward to on this monumental 18 DVD set are, The Minstrel Boy, Chow Mein and Cookie in Restaurant, Fred Scuttle’s Channel Tunnel and the hysterical Reverend Gray.

Movie Review: Shogun Assassin (Blu-Ray)

Review by Jeff

Directed by: Robert Houston

Shogun Assassin has had quite a history as a bonafide cult film. For one, It's easily one of the more notable Asian cult film entries, that has maintained a strong cult status over the past 30 years. The definition of the term "Grindhouse" has to have director ,Robert Houston's, Shogun Assassin written in somewhere. "Grindhouse" films generally have a unique hook -whether they be horror, blaxploitation, martial arts, action, porn - that separate them from their own genre counterparts. Shogun Assassin is no Seven Samurai, by any stretch. Seven Samurai is also not a grindhouse film. As someone who has viewed Shogun Assassin numerous times - via shoddy bootlegs and the original long out-of-print Media video release - I've been able to enjoy all of it's visceral exploitedness; but never did I think their would be an uncut Blu-ray release. Well, thanks to the folks at Animeigo, Shogun Assassin the Blu-Ray has become a reality.

Buy Shogun Assassin (Blu-Ray) on

Movie Review: Behind Convent Walls (Cult Epics)

Directed by: Walerian Borowczyk

Cinema Head Cheese has been pretty sparse in the nun-sploitation department, so I thought, why not kick off this sub-genre with Walerian Borowczyk’s classic contribution, Behind Convent Walls – from Cult Epics. For those of you unfamiliar with Walerian Borowczyk – he is Polish-born Catholic filmmaker who immigrated to France to pursue his passion of making movies, that were not only a visual feast but filled with very controversial subject-matter. One of those being, the Catholic church. His focus in Behind Convent Walls is clearly on the oppression of sexuality in the Christian faith – with nuns and a very cantankerous Mother Superior. These nuns look nothing like the ones you may have grown up with in Catholic school – many are actually quite lovely. Add an uninhibited-ness to the saucy mix and you have a convent filled with raging desire that would make Pope Benedict mess his papal gown.

Buy Behind Convent Walls on

Based on Stendahl’s story, Roman Walks, Behind Convent Walls tells the tale of a Mother Superior(Gabriella Giacobbe) that has nearly lost all control of the young nuns in her convent. This proves to be a monumental task, as virtually all of the young ladies are showing no sense of restraint when it comes to giving and receiving the carnal pleasures - they’re so forbidden . Behind Convent Walls is as much an exploitation film as it is an arthouse feature. Borowczyk’s choice to have Luciano Tovoli as his Cinematographer, truly, is what sets this – what could be your average nun-sploitation – into the realm of the sublime. Aside from Tovoli’s energetic camera , he also uses soft-focus - which only enhances the atmosphere to an almost dream-like feel. If you’ve only viewed Behind Convent Walls in its truncated form you’ll be thoroughly pleased with Cult Epic’s release, as it’s completely uncut – featuring the often excised “Nun and wooden dildo scene”. This scene is divine in its presentation, and is sure to make all God-fearing folk scramble for their rosary beads.
The picture quality of Cult Epics' release of Behind Convent Walls is very good. Their isn't any visible print damage and grain is at a bare minimum. The fact that this is the uncut version of the film , it's very impressive. This release is also in it's original aspect ratio, 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. The audio is quite solid and unforgettable the organ music sounds clearer than ever before. You also have both Italian and English subtitle options.

Supplementary materials are featured on this disc as well : Behind The Walls (featurette), an interview with Cinematographer extraordinaire, Luciano Tovoli and a Photo and Lobby Card gallery. The Behind The Walls featurette isn't very long, but for that duration we are given many facts on Behind Convent Walls, Walerian Borowczyk's career and censorship. Borowczyk historians, Marc Morris, Sam Dunn and Daniel Bird provide great insight on the Polish filmmaker.

Behind Convent Walls gets first-rate treatment overall in this Cult Epics’ release.

Format: Color, DVD, Enhanced, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Language: English, French, Italian
Subtitles: English
Region: Region 1
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
Rated: Unrated
Studio: Cult Epics
DVD Release Date: March 30, 2010
Run Time: 95 minutes

October 18, 2010

Six Degrees of Cheese: Six Comedians Gone Too Soon

by Kevin Moyers

I've loved stand-up comedy since I was a kid. Seeing George Carlin at age twelve truly changed my life and way of thinking. All I wanted to do was what he did. While I'm a long way from being Carlin, I do enjoy performing now and again. I'm not very interested in all of the travel it takes to do this for a living, but I understand the draw of that difficult lifestyle.

Recently, we lost two comedians that I would hold up among the greats. I don't think anyone was ready to see either go. They had so much more to say, and that's why they're on my list below.

October 17, 2010

Movie Review: Vamperotica: Tales from the Bloodvault (2010)

by David Hayes

Vamperotica: Tales from the Bloodvault is another entry in the hugely successful comic book-to-film formula. Don't expect Spider-Man style effects or Road to Perdition type drama… but get ready for a fun little exercise in the large-breasted vampire genre. The title alone is undeniable proof of "what you see is what you get." Written and directed by Vamperotica comic creator, Kirk Lindo, Tales tells the, well, tale of b-movie producer Nicky, the money he owes to the mob and the one last epic he produces (in a single night no less) about a sexy and evil Vampire Queen (played by the always buxom Glori Anne Gilbert who could, if she concentrates really hard, breast feed an entire third world nation). Little does Nicky know that the Vampire Queen actress is a real vampire (and not a "natural" like Nicky thinks). The feature comes in at a lean 80 minutes.

Movie Review: Jingles the Clown (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

Directed by Tommy Brunswick

Written by Todd Brunswick

Buy Jingles the Clown on DVD

If you love to scare the crap out of your friends with a movie about a psychotic killer clown who just won’t die then this film is for you! If you have a deadly fear of crazy ass psychopathic clowns, well then, you’re out of luck.

Mr. Jingles was a child entertainer who turned into a murderous serial killer clown. He would take his victims to his house to torture then murder them. Well, one day, he took Angela and her family back to this house. One by one, Angela is forced to watch her family slaughtered. Luckily for her, the police come just in time to shoot the mad clown down before he can kill the poor little girl.

Movie Review: I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

Directed by: Steven Monroe

Written by: Meir Zarchi

Buy I Spit on Your Grave on DVD or Blu-ray

Many people bash or refuse to see remakes due to Hollywood's deservedly poor reputation in that regard. Either the original is far superior or the remake has absolutely nothing to do with the original. Regardless, this was a remake I was highly anticipating (as were many others). The tickets to this screening were gone in three hours from the moment they went on sale. Everyone at the screening I attended waited for hours in line and a few of us talked about the original. Due to the marketing for this version, we were trying to imagine how this move was supposedly going to be “even more graphic” than the original. Boy, did they ever deliver on that promise! Multiple audience members couldn't make it through the entire film.

Movie Review: Inception (2010)

Review by Hollis Jay

I only heard my father play sax once. The notes draped over me and transformed my environment into a spectacular wilderness of sound. But, in that one playing I could tell that he was a master at music. Déjà vu. It only took me one minute to figure out that the movie Inception was a masterpiece. As the first dream sequence began to turn to rubble, my heart caught into my chest and I could feel something that I rarely feel while viewing a film: anticipation.


First of all, the casting was amazing. John Papsidera performed a fabulous job of balancing out actors in regards to their strengths and weaknesses. He chose actors from all forms of cinema. He chose experienced actors and those who have only performed in a few films. He also chose actors who would give depth to the story, and be able to allow their characters to evolve in a smooth manner. If Marion Cotillard doesn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, I would be surprised. Also, all of the actors allowed the story to be the star and didn’t appear to fight over their position in the film regardless of their character. They allowed the story to speak for itself.