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September 30, 2014

Movie Review: SX_Tape (2012; Well Go USA)

...the pursuit, and subsequent taking on of yet another entry, from a tired, repetitive, well-worn and now-way-too-often emulated sub-genre, seems...well, seems synonymously not unlike that of the tired meanderings and lamentations of a certain well-known commercial pastry remember this guy, right?? Up at the wee hours of the morning. dragging his feet out of the bedroom and into the bathroom...murmuring an unenthusiastic groan of "gotta make the donuts"...slowly slogging his way out the front door, and into his car..."gotta make the donuts"...a lethargic, waddling shuffle through the front door of the shop..."gotta make the donuts". Day in, and day out...same old, same old, right??...

...indeed, a comparative and poignant template, not that far removed from applicably describing the readied expectations and ho-hum routine one must endure, in going into yet another supernatural and/or paranormal-themed 'found footage' film production. We've seen them all, right?? Oh, heck...Mickey Mouse roll call, sound off now: ...the shaky, nausea-inducing camera work. The film's singularly assigned or assumed camera operator, barely seen in the film, but insistent upon having the camera affixed to his or her face, to catch every moment, whether important or trivial. The token complainer, often the aim and focus of the camera operator, whining incisively about "why do you have to film this??", "do you have to film everything", and yet, still insistent upon being the 'director', with a pointed finger, saying 'film this', 'film that', and the occasional slinky, sexy, sultry and revealing 'uh, film this'...not to mention the wayward 'did you see/hear that??', only to reveal that it's nothing...right before something does happen. The random inner-splicing of personal footage, amidst the 'discovered' footage of intent, suggesting that the camera operator just grabbed the nearest tape in a huff, little realizing that there was 'personal stuff' already on it (...what, no Radio Shack, on route to the ghostly scene?). And of course, the reveal of the nasty little invasive supernatural entity...playfully and mysteriously moving things, at first...then, progressively frustrated and angered, either materializing at the most impromptu moments, or possessing the nearest hapless person within reach, giving the cautious voyeurs a hard time, and rushing suddenly  & frighteningly face-first into the camera lens...all creeped out, ghastly-looking, unnervingly black-eyeballed and hideously toothsome. Uh, did we forget anything??...

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 40th Anniversary Edition (Blu-ray)

Jeff gives his review of the blu-ray release of one of the most iconic horror films of all time.

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September 25, 2014

Movie Review: Stress Position (2013)

Attacked by mop handles!
Directed by A. J. Bond

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Here’s the premise: Director A.J. Bond in a conversation with actor David Amito tells Amito that he wouldn’t be able to deal with the psychological stress as practiced in such places as Guantanamo Bay. Amito says that he could, and so Bond offers him a wager: Spend a week in a special detention facility with a special cash reward if he makes its out with his sanity intact. Bond, if nothing else, is especially enthusiastic about the project. He builds a sterile white-on-white torture chamber dominated by a modern art sculpture. With the aid of various aides-de-camps, Bond tortures Amito, records it all on video and has conferences with other interested parties on how to proceed.

Bond’s true intentions are revealed on the third day of torture, and should come as no surprise to the viewer. The problem? None of the psychological torment inflicted on the male lead leads to anything significant. In the film Martyrs (2008), the torture of young women was revealed as a means for discovering life after death. In Stress Position, the torture of Amito is hazy and ill-defined. At one point he is strapped to a playground whirligig until he reveals a long repressed secret. When Amito finally reveals the “secret,” it is something totally inconsequential.

September 24, 2014



A Film by Stuart Gordon and Executive Produced by Charles Band


Starring Stephen Lee, Guy Rolfe, Hilary Mason, Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon,

Cassie Stuart, Bunty Bailey and introducing Carrie Lorraine as Judy Bower



Pre-Order This Must-Have Collector’s Edition Today!

Do you like handmade puppets, toy soldiers, ballerinas and dolls? Charming elderly toymaker Gabriel Hartwicke and his wife Hilary have the perfect play toys just for you!  From celebrated cult filmmaker Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator), executive producer Charles Band, producer Brian Yuzna (Society) and screenwriter Ed Naha (Troll) comes a campy, horror cult classic that combines the pint-sized playmates of childhood with bone-chilling fun. The 1987 horror film DOLLS is a bloody good terror trap that delivers its frights, fun and fantastic effects in equal measure. The film stars Stephen Lee (The Pit and the Pendulum), Guy Rolfe (Puppet Master III, Mr. Sardonicus), Hilary Mason (Don’t Look Now), Ian Patrick Williams (Re-Animator), Carolyn Purdy-Gordon (From Beyond), Cassie Stuart (The Hunchback), Bunty Bailey (Spellcaster) and introducing Carrie Lorraine (Poltergeist II: The Other Side) as Judy Bower.

September 23, 2014

Movie Review: Tusk (2014; Demarest Films/SModcast Pictures)

...once upon a time, if some might fondly recall, there was an absolute 'looney' tale of a certain stuttering pig, ambitiously seeking out the notorious and ever-evasive Do-Do bird...a mad, screwball creature, capable of changing & altering the visual and environmental perspective, far and above that of the 'normally' manipulative, cartoon-flavored perspective, in an effort to evade detection and capture...oh, hell, if at the very least, to gleefully f**k with his hapless, would-be pursuers. Anyways, at a certain point of his arduous search, our intrepid adventurer...uh, for the sake of arguement, let's just call him 'Porky', 'kay??...comes across a rather striking sign of destination, marking the border...itself, marked with a sign that says 'slippery when wet'...between the cartoon's 'natural' reality, and the surreal, mad, hallucinogenic, albeit ironic world, where the elusive Do-Do is reputed to reside (...'snicker'...that 'rubber band' always seems to stick out in my mind, for some reason). "Welcome to Wackyland", the sign reads, where " can happen, here!!"...

...cutting to the chase, and thusly, this viewer's point...yes, folks!! Welcome to 'wackyland'...where indeed, it can happen here. Only, in the case of writer/director Kevin Smith's latest departure from his sometimes angst, often poignant, pop-culture savvy, and invariably comical New Jersey-based exploits...namely, a skewed, horror-themed venture, called "Tusk"...'wackyland', and the film's unconventional Canadian setting...well, if one truly considers it, the former and the latter really don't seem all that far removed from each other, in Kevin's eyes...much to the benefit, intrigue and chagrin of those privy to the new film, as you shall soon see...

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Tusk

Kevin steps up to Kevin Smith's bizarre podcast joke turned horror film.

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September 22, 2014

The Midnight Game (2013) Movie Review

Sorry it’s been a few weeks since I last posted. It’s busy season for my hubby’s business and helping out takes priority over shredding shitty movies. I mean, contemplate and ponder thoughtful movie reviews for the wonderful films my overlords at CHC deem worthy of my inspired mind.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, as I’m in a few day break before more madness ensues, I thought I’d pop in one of above mentioned films. Keep in mind, though, that I’m battling a cold so I might be a bit more heavy handed on the snark for this one.

Inspired by true events (oh, for fuck’s sake), The Midnight Game involves a handful of high school students having a little get together at Kaitlin’s house while her mother is away on business. Her friends, Jenna and Rose, invite over some boys (OMG Mom said no boiz!) Shane and Jeff.

Shane, being the QB, insists they play The Midnight Game. It’s a pagan ritual (duh) that was designed to ‘help you follow the rules’. They have to confess their fears, write their names on some paper with a drop of their blood, then each light a candle. If a candle goes out before the allotted deadline at 3:33am (I honestly drifted a bit during the exposition here so I don’t know why that’s the chosen time) and is not relit in ten seconds, the Midnight Man will come to punish you. Come on, let’s play! What could go wrong? We’re teenagers and we’re invincible!

September 19, 2014

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Wild at Heart & Used Cars (Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

Jeff reviews two blu-ray releases from Twilight Time.

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September 17, 2014

Movie Review: Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema (5-Disc Set, Blu-ray / DVD)

As an avid admirer of the wonders of the female form I've always thought that in many ways Russ Meyer is to curvaceous mammaries what Tinto Brass is to luscious derrieres. If you've seen a Tinto Brass film, you'll notice the man truly loves a lady's bottom and how it is presented artistically on film. Framing a pair of butt-cheeks is paramount in the presentation of Tinto's many beautiful subjects he puts in one of his films. Tinto has an amazing eye for the suppleness of a round derrière as well as those other womanly features such as large breasts, much like Russ' ability and has a knack for catching that appropriate jiggle. "Real" woman are highlighted so don't expect scrawny girls, mosquito bite breasts or shaved privates - get ready for some real curvaceous subjects on the opposite side of his camera lens. 

There is a new set entitled Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema from Cult Epics that highlights some of Tinto's finer more recent films - Monamour, the Blu-ray premiere of Black Angel, and also two other decedent slices of Italian naughtiness Private and Cheeky. Could this be an essential addition to the collections of European erotica enthusiasts? Let's have a look!

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Willow Creek

Kevin talks about the found footage Bigfoot movie from Bobcat Goldthwait.

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Vincent Price Collection II Blu-Ray from Scream Factory! 10/14 Street Date!



On October 21, 2014, collectors, classic film aficionados and horror enthusiasts will relish the 4-Disc Blu-ray™ release of Scream Factory’s THE VINCENT PRICE COLLECTION Volume II, perfectly timed for Halloween and this year’s holiday gifting season.  This extraordinary collector’s set is an essential movie collection for every home entertainment library and brings together SEVEN Vincent Price masterpiece classics, featuring the first-ever Blu-ray movie presentation of  THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959), THE RETURN OF THE FLY (1959), THE COMEDY OF TERRORS (1963), THE RAVEN (1963), THE LAST MAN ON EARTH (1964), THE TOMB OF LIGEIA (1964) and DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN (1972). Brimming with a bevy of chilling bonus content including audio commentaries with producer/director Roger Corman, actor Brett Halsey, film historians, original theatrical trailers, rare photos and archival materials, this highly-anticipated Blu-ray collection also includes a 32-page collector’s book, featuring an essay by author and film historian David Del Valle.

SPECIAL OFFER: Order this directly from and receive an exclusive 18"x24" poster featuring our newly commissioned artwork! Available while supplies last. Also receive FREE standard U.S. shipping ONE MONTH EARLY on 9/30.

September 14, 2014

Movie Review: Tarzan (2013; Constantin Film/Lionsgate)

...yep, these days, the legendary Lord of the Apes...well, he ain't gettin' no love, film-wise. No siree, this day and age of super-powered, gadget-toting iron men, bat men and spider men, and/or other-worldly super men, ol' muscle-bound, grunting, vine-swinging Tarzan, for the most part, seems to be getting the ol' shaft-o-roonie. Eh, understandable, one might suppose, considering today's superhero-worshipping audience might well take one look at a celluloid-rendered version of Edgar Rice Burrough's classic literary character, shrug their shoulders, and think, ', no powers?? Just muscle, animal 'magnetism' and the typical sense of right, wrong & justice...besides all that, who and what the heck is he, and what can he actually do, compared to...say, the likes of Wolverine, or The Hulk??" In fact, getting less respect, these days, than even the often heckled Aquaman...and heck, we don't even need to go there, right??...

...and to think, at one time, Tarzan was much more respectfully revered, as a savage 'hero amongst heroes' least, cinematically (...all due credit to athletically-vigorous Johnny Weismuller, or even via early TV broadcast (...oh, that muscle-bound Ron Ely). So what gives, as far as contemporary depiction of the once-iconic character, who pretty much hasn't seen proper representation, since...uh, can you say 'Christopher Highlander Lambert', in the heavily dramatic 1984 compeller, "Greystoke, the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes"?? Who knows?? But in the advent of Disney, having let their rights to the character expire, and recently, those rights having been deftly picked up by a German computer animation production company...well, let's just say that our intrepid, vine-swinging Lord of the Apes, isn't exactly faring particularly well, of late, and has definitely seen better days...

September 12, 2014

Movie Review: Follow That Dream (1962, Blu-ray)

Directed by Gordon Douglas

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Pop Kwimper (Arthur O’Connell), his son Toby Elvis Presley), his sort-of adopted children, 19-year-old Holly (Anne Helm) two twin boys and a little girl are motoring down on Florida interstate when they happen upon a pleasant seaside beach. They pitch camp, and decide to claim the area as their own under an obscure “homesteader” law. Within a matter of days, the family throws together a rather ritzy ranch home from castaway junk and begins to charge big bucks to the locals for the privilege of fishing on their land. Soon enough, there’s trouble in paradise: gangsters, led by Nick (Simon Oakland) take advantage of the area’s laissez-faire atmosphere to bring their gambling casino on to the premises. It falls on the King’s shoulder to drive away the gangster, rebuff a lecherous lady psychologist’s advances (Joanna Moore) and defend his patchwork family in court against all those pesky custody laws. Will he succeed? This is an Elvis Presley movie, what do you think?

Indeed, it is an Elvis Presley, albeit with a lot on its plate. An atypical Presley vehicle, Follow That Dream has only five songs, and a decent budget – in contrast to his later films that squeezed in 14 songs that were shot on blue suede shoestrings. It’s the familiar poor-but-honest rural folk against the sophisticated city slickers story, but Follow That Dream seriously examines American society. In its running time, Follow That Dream addresses property rights, self-determination, law, child custody, psychologists (director Gordon Douglas must have had a thing against lady psychologists – remember the hopelessly ineffectual one just before the little girl survivor cowers in the corner screaming “Them! Them! THEM!” in his 1954 giant ant extravaganza of the same name?) organized crime and the U.S. judicial system. The story itself is ridiculous – Presley waltzes through the whole affair with naïve aplomb, unaware of the dangers that face him, only to be acquitted time and again by his simple, honest heart. The gangsters in this film wouldn’t last very long in real life. Presley effortlessly grabs their guns out of their hands without sweat beading on his pompadour. Presley is also amazingly chaste in this film. A running gag  has Elvis reciting multiplication tables whenever he’s aroused by women.

September 10, 2014

Movie Review: Graduation Day (Blu-ray / DVD Combo)

With the Troma classics Sugar Cookies and Lust For Freedom currently available from Vinegar Syndrome the company has recently taken on one of the more well-known slashers of the early 1980's in Graduation Day. Troma did release Graduation Day several years back but it left much to be desired to say the least.  In the hands of Vinegar Syndrome though, improvement is inevitable, especially with the fact that it's making it's a Blu-ray debut in a combo pack from the genre DVD and Blu-ray producers.

Graduation Day was actually a spawn off the success of John Carpenter's Halloween as were many slashers from the era (The Burning, Friday the 13th, The Prowler, just to name a few.)  The story surrounds a sudden death of an athlete and a series of murders that follow immediately after the young track star's death. When the deceased girl's sister, Anne (Patch Mackenzie, It's Alive III: Island of the Alive) arrives in town for her funeral the bodies begin to pile up of her peers in a variety of ways. Could Anne be taking some revenge kind of revenge on the students? Could it be the gym teacher played by the great Christopher George (City of the Living Dead, Enter the Ninja) or could it just be some random psycho with a blood-lust the killing of college kids?

September 9, 2014

Movie Review: Porn Shoot Massacre (2008, Lost Empire Films)

...ya' know?? This viewer truly misses the bygone days of the mid-'80's, to the early '90's, at which time, mail order ad blocks, exploitatively detailing exclusive, micro-budgeted, and independently-produced VHS-formatted horror gems, could be found inconspicuously dotted amidst the other advertisements and articles, in various genre magazines. For a mere 20-spot, on the average, some of the most unique...touch and go, as far as good or bad...titles were rendered available, in this venue...with such offerings, disappearing as quickly as they appeared...and in acquiring these exclusive titles...typically produced by eager fledgling filmmakers, who manage to gather a plethora of friends together, for a bit of fun in grinding out a could proudly engage conversation, in claiming to be the only one within miles, to genuinely have such titles. Titles, such as "555", "Color Me Blood Red...Again", "Splatter: Architects of Fear", the infamous pornographic 'gore' trilogy (..."Gorgasm", "Gorotica" and "Gore Whore"), "Unnaturally Born Killer" and "Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell" (...and yes, this viewer proudly possesses all of these), amongst countless others, were shuffled in with micro-production company titles, from folks like 'Brain Damage Films', 'Tempe Video' & "E.I. Entertainment, and surprisingly enough, many of these obscure horror indies bore enough greater style, imagination, creativity, attitude and ambition, to counter even genre titles produced by the much larger production studios. Yep, such exclusive acquisition days are in the past; however, thanks to the 'net, such eager sophomore genre efforts have proven somewhat more readily available, nowadays, but elatedly, the attitude, style and sense of ambition remain unchanged constants. Considering all that, one might well relish a trist of nostalgic deja-vu, in that respect, with the amusing and oh-so cheesy 2008 softcore horror/comedy effort, "Porn Shoot Massacre"...

September 5, 2014

Movie Review: The Quiet Ones (2014, Blu-ray)

Oh, the 1970s. Filled with feathered hair, bell bottoms, and unsanctioned experimental medical treatments of psychotically tortured young women. The Quiet Ones brings us Joseph Coupland, a British abnormal psychology professor who truly believes ‘troubled’ people can manifest their negative energy through telekinesis. Once they do that, they can put it...somewhere and it can be destroyed permanently. Hence, Professor Coupland would be able to cure mental illness forever.

No small feat, that.

Coupland has already signed on two students, Harry and Krissi, who truly believe in Joseph’s theories and work. Brian joins last and his job is to film everything. What is everything? Professor Coupland already has a patient, Jane, and they will be performing experiments so she can finally rid herself of whatever is plaguing her.

Too bad the University thinks Coupland is cuckoo for cocoa puffs and pulls all funding. But that doesn’t deter our intrepid professor. He procures some run down abandoned house in the sticks and continues torturing poor Jane until she gives up the goods (I mean teleplasm not sex, you pervs) on the part of her psychosis she has named Evey.

September 4, 2014

The Corpse-Banging Classic Debuts on Blu-ray! NEKROMANTIK Coming this October from Cult Epics!

NEKROMANTIK Premieres on Blu-ray (dual-layer) and new 2-Disc Special Edition DVD

 Los Angeles, CA (September 2014.) The controversial horror film that shocked the world in 1987, when it was banned in Germany, censored in Japan and simultaneously became a huge underground hit in the US (now long out of print.) Nekromantik tells the story of Rob (Daktari Lorenz) who works at a street-cleaning Agency, and visits roadside accidents to clean up the scene. Incidentally Rob collects the body parts and shares them with his girlfriend Betty (Beatrice M.) When Rob presents a complete corpse taken out of a swamp, their undying love reaches its peak, but soon after Betty gets a more liking towards the corpse and leaves Rob, which takes him to the sick end of his destruction. Cult Epics is proud to release Jorg Buttgereit’s horror classic in High Definition and with 4 hours of extras, including Jorg’s debut short film Hot Love. First 2000 copies include original collectible artwork by Johnny Ryan & Nekrophilia photo of Beatrice M.

Movie Review: The Chambermaids (1974; Impulse Pictures)

...the period, stationed at the Naval drydocks, on the Norfolk, Virginia Naval base, during the early-to-mid '80's, wasn't exactly the most off-time activity prevalent time, in this viewer's eclectically varied military career. Not much to do off-base, after a daily, rough & rigorous 10-hours-plus work shift, except to clear out the mess hall every night, killing the lights, chug a few cans of piss-warm Milwaulkee's Best, and spin the clunky reels of military-sponsored feature films on the rickety ol' projector. However, on the weekend evenings, there was always someone who somehow managed to covertly commandeer one of the base's VW non-designated buses, and as the result, a jaunty motley crew of us would speedily barrel miles down the road, whooping & hollering, and just being good ol' boys, out looking for a good time...or trouble, depending upon the inebriation level. When the bar-hopping scene got stale, and we found ourselves wearing tread on the dirt roads, in and about the midnight hour...without fail, we'd always find ourselves at one of several tucked-away-in-the-fields drive-in theaters, which exclusively flickered some of the wildest, albeit cheeziest and dated X-rated double-feature film fare, ever to have been seen stamped on celluloid. And it was one of these adventurous, late-night occasions, at which time, this viewer first laid eyes on this aged and obscure, playful and kinky little skin flick. Fast forward to 'this very moment' which time, afforded the opportunity to fondly revisit this obscure X-rated ditty, with considerably more objectivity, and considerably less alcohol...the invariable question, in this viewer's mind, arises: does "The Chambermaids" hold up, in the advent of 40 years since the film's initial release, during the '70's golden age of skin flicks??...

September 3, 2014

Movie Review: 42nd Street Forever: Peepshow Collection Volume 3 and 4

It's amazing to think how far we have come when it comes to accessing quality material to get off to. Nowadays, if you're by yourself and looking to squeeze a goopy load to some hot chicks or dudes or whatever all it takes one or two pecks at the keyboard at your taken endless options to make your mess. There was a time when actual adult theaters theaters featured full-length films and loops. While pornographic feature films really just caught on around the early 70's with Deep Throat -- xxx rated loops have been given many an opportunity to choke the bald man into the turtle soup.

Synapse Films' super sleazy sub-label Impulse Pictures have shown a lot lately to make fans of golden age porn though, they've taken to handling loop compilations with their releases in the 42nd Street Forever: Peepshow Collection. The most recent additions to the collection are volumes three and four which include fifteen outrageous sex loops from the 70's and early 80's. If you think you can handle it here's a look at both!

Volume three serves up a grouping of loops that have plenty of interesting highlights. We get to see a young John Holmes slap around his mammoth python with a young gal. Before he pummels the lass from behind a bunch of butter to the area. Does this help dull the pain? We'll never know because all you can hear is the projector running as is the norm for every single loop on these collections.

Nightbreed Director's Cut Blu-Ray & DVD 10.28.14 from Scream Factory!



"This is film history and beyond my wildest dreams of realization.” Clive Barker

Pre-order now at:


Special Edition:

In 1990, the film was released theatrically nationwide. However, the movie studio edited the film extensively and several scenes were excised or rearranged – much to Clive Barker’s disappointment. Since then, a fan-driven movement was created ( to see the full version of the film restored and re-released.  Now, after 25 years, fans and horror enthusiasts can finally experience NIGHTBREED like never before! Scream Factory, in conjunction with Warner Bros., was able to find the long-thought-missing original film elements and combed through over 600 boxes to locate not only the lost scenes but a treasure trove of never-before-seen footage as well. With lost footage meticulously restored, the result is not only a more faithful adaptation of Clive Barker’s book Cabal, but also what he originally intended NIGHTBREED to be.

September 2, 2014

Movie Review: Deadly Eyes (1982; Golden Harvest/Scream Factory)

...going into Shout/Scream Factory's recent release of the 1982 Canadian-produced 'nature-gone-amuck' horror chiller, "Deadly Eyes", sight unseen (...I missed it, when it was originally released theatrically, having instead been intensely engaged in the ol' 'hut-one, hut-two' 12-week-plus military boot camp 'game', at the time), this ardent and devoted viewer of the genre, to be quite honest, really didn't expect much. In fact, given the Fortune Star/Golden Harvest opening logos, I almost thought that I had inadvertently plugged in one of those cheezy chop-socky flicks, which for years, Golden Harvest was best known for. Sure, for a long time, it was dimly known by this unsuspecting fright film fan, that the movie had something to do with killer rats...that the film was based upon a best-selling page-turner, by genre author James Herbert...that, in a surprising genre switch, cult film director Robert 'Enter the Dragon' Clouse, handled the reins of the film. Heck, this viewer was even a bit privy to the concept, that inspiration for the outrageous special effects...especially those depicting the rats...was picked up and taken from that ol' class, notorious known as 'Killer Shrews 101'. Later on, even the dark and somewhat vague box art, displayed on the video shelves, didn't phase nor mesmerize this mega monster movie mogul, who often picked up said video rental from the shelves, took a quick & casual look at it, and with a shrug of the shoulders, placed it back, with an uninterested sigh. I mean, really...a killer rat movie?? What could I see in that, which I had not already seen in, say movies like 1971's "Willard" (...also based on a novel), it's 1972 follow-up, "Ben", or even the 1976 drive-in-flavored creature feature, "Food of the Gods"?? (...I could also mention the 1972 Andy Mulligan stinker, "The Rats are Coming...the Werewolves are Here!"...I could, but naw, scratch that...I won't even go there. Eh, forget I even brought it up...)

...boy, was I in for a big understatement, to be sure...

September 1, 2014

Movie Review: The Legend of Billie Jean (Blu-ray)

Reviewed By: Jimmy D.

The Legend of Billie Jean holds a special place in my heart. I am proud to admit I was at the theater when this Tri-Star film opened in 85. Matthew Robbins, many will say killed Mark Hamill’s career with Corvette Summer or tried to cash in on the Cocoon craze with Batteries not Included. Many will forget the little gem that is this film. Starring Supergirl herself Helen Slater, Pump up the Volume’s Christian Slater and one of my favorite directors ever Keith Gordon. This film centers on this nobody who just one day gets to be a huge somebody.

People will compare this film to Turk 182 which came out around the same time with another rebel played by Timothy Hutton who really does not have to do that much to win over the people’s love and adulation. The film tells the story of Billy Jean Davy who looks like she was auditioning for either Square Pegs or Flashdance, who lives in a trailer in Texas. She is an innocent beautiful blonde who seems to attract the wrong kind of attention. She gets bullies to chase her and her younger brother played by Christian Slater. When the bullies cause around 600.00 dollars to damage to Binx’s motorcycle, she goes to the father of the kid who started it and demands the money. Well the father tries to get a little too fresh and Billie Jean knees him till Binx stumbles onto a gun he fires it and turning him and his sister Billie Jean into outlaws.

Interracial Sex Havoc #6: 1978

The Interracial Sex Havoc project is trying to catalog as many films as possible that contain at least one interracial sex scene. Not all films included here are pornographic, but they had to have at least one interracial sex scene in order to qualify.

This chapter is about movies released in 1978 and I wrote about golden age porn [one film by Alex deRenzy], and a Joe D’Amato sleaze-fest. So, enjoy!

Pretty Peaches (1978)
The title’s girl [Desiree Cousteau from Caged Heat (1974)] is wearing red t-shirt and matching shorts (so short that half her ass cheeks are out for everyone to see at the car service parlour she stopped for a while) on her way to her father’s wedding to a black woman [Flower]. After some gambling (it’s a proper Las Vegas ceremony after all) and some shots of alcohol, she leaves, driving her fancy jeep. But she loses control of the vehicle and crashes on a tree. She gets out of the car and falls on the ground unconscious. Two opportunists find her and rape her. When she wakes up properly, she realized that she has amnesia. Her journey to remember her name begins and the trio drives to San Francisco.
Peaches is soon introduced to a bogus doctor/friend of the rapists, who places a paper bag on her head and tries to perform oral sex to her, she refuses, but she happily proceeds to some anal play which ends up with some impressive ass squirting.

Movie Review: Curtains (1983, Blu-ray)

Directed by Richard Ciupka

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Overbearing stage and screen director Jonathan Stryker (John Vernon) seems intent on casting his longtime star and erstwhile lover Samantha Sherwood (Samantha Eggar) in his new production of “Audra.” Said hot property is about a woman who murders her lover for infidelity and is then sent to a sanitarium. Adherents to the “method,” both Stryker and Sherwood plot to have Sherwood committed to an insane asylum to add authenticity to the role. Sherwood at first adapts to the “snake pit,” but it turns out that it was all a ruse on Stryker’s part to keep her out of the way in order to ogle some fresh new starlets in a most unorthodox audition process at an isolated countryside mansion. Left languishing, Sherwood is sprung from the nuthouse by a friend (in a quickly done single-take scene) and meets Stryker and his chorus line of bimbos at the house. Slowly but surely, a killer in an old hag mask (perhaps symbolic of Eggar’s status as an aging actress?) begins to thin out the cast. A surprise ending that MAKES NO SENSE follows.

As gorgeous and as hopeless as its victims, Curtains is a mess of the first water. Filmed around 1981, then shelved, with additional scenes filmed and inserted later, Curtains was shot on a not-inconsiderable budget of $4 million and is as disjointed and nonsensical as any shot-on-video cheapie. Let us count the ways: one character plunges out a second story window and somersaults through a first floor window; a young male character is introduced in the first scenes at the mansion and then inexplicably disappears; and so on. Slasher films generally are very poorly plotted with ample plot holes but compensate with energy and clever kill scenes. Other than its classic scene of an ice skating session cut short – literally, Curtains is slow and tame even by 1981 standards! It does feature the first example of a severed head found-in-a-toilet, but is otherwise dull and lifeless.