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July 31, 2010

The Podcast Burrito: Volume 1

I grew up listening to talk radio, and now that you can get it whenever you want, I am a happy boy.

The Adam Carolla Podcast

After taking over for Howard Stern on the Western half of the country, Carolla's show was an ever-changing entity. Once he moved into the podcast world, he started with one-on-one interviews and eventually got the crew from his morning show back together. Complete with news, Bald Bryan's sound effects and even Dawson's weed laced announcing, Carolla is back in business on his terms with his daily podcast.

July 30, 2010

The Movie Burrito: Volume 5 - Overrated

I hear so-called buzz all the time about great movies that I must see. I go in wondering what the hype is all about only to leave angry and disappointed. These are definitely somebody's favorite movies. They are definitely not mine. I feel bad for people who like these movies more than they should. I feel that there is a disconnect with rational thinking. I know I sound like an ass right now, but you really need to read a lot more of what I write in order to understand that I usually do. So there.

The Matrix (1999)

This movie was praised for its special effects and unique filming style. I'll give the Wachowski brothers credit there. There was some amazing stuff happening on screen. Too bad none of the wondrous activity had anything to do with the story, the script or the acting. Keanu Reeves earned a lifetime boycott from me after Johnny Mnemonic, but I still watched this when it was on cable because I knew it couldn't really hold up to the hype, and I was right. Substance and talent be damned, the film was turned into a trilogy that got its fans to turn on it. That's the one thing about this series I truly appreciated.

Buy The Matrix on DVD or Blu-ray

July 29, 2010

Movie Review: Dead Space: Aftermath (Blu-ray)

Anchor Bay takes us back to space in this animated sequel to the Dead Space franchise.

Film: 2/5
Bridging the events between the critically claimed/fan hailed video games, Dead Space & Dead Space 2, this animated flick picks up right after the destruction of Aegis VII. Aegis was the colony space engineer and protagonist Issac Clarke destroyed to wipe out the demonic necromorph's spawned from an ancient artifact known as the Marker. A ship, USG O'Bannon, is sent out to find out what went wrong. Contact is lost with O'Bannon leading Marine battleship Braxus to seek out any survivors. Upon arrival, this ship is heavily damaged and crew has been mutilated. Four surviving crew members remain on the O'Bannon. They are incarcerated by the Marines and taken to the Sprawl for interrogation.

July 28, 2010

Movie Review: Twilight (2008)

by Hollis Jay

Here we go folks; I have finally decided to vent my feelings about the abominable Twilight movies, and all other Twilight related material. First, to use the word vampire to relate to any of these movies would be unnecessary and irrational. For these are not the vampires of legend, ones who make children shiver under the covers in their beds or make their victims scream in fear. Give me a good vampire -one who pulls the gore and guts out of their victims without hesitation and thought. Vampires like those portrayed in 30 Days of Night and the novels of Brian Lumley. These vampires have no mercy, and they do not shine and shimmer in the light. They certainly do not sit longingly staring at their human girlfriends in fields of flowers. They rip and roar through their cities and towns and let nothing stand in their way.

Buy Twilight on DVD or Blu-ray

July 26, 2010

Cinematic Hell: The Brainiac (1962)

by Hal Astell

Director: Chano Urueta

Stars: Abel Salazar, Ariadne Welter, David Silva and Germán Robles

Buy The Brainiac on DVD

One of the most annoying things about living in west Phoenix with its large Hispanic population is discovering that the cheap and plentiful supply of bizarre Mexican films in stores around the valley never come with subtitles. It's like being a child in a world of candy but being forbidden to eat anything. One day I'm going to need to learn Spanish just to be able to understand what's going on in bad Mexican wrestling and horror movies. So to me, K Gordon Murray is a godsend. He was a American film producer, often known as 'the King of the Kiddie Matinee' and what he did was to take these Mexican films, give them outrageous new titles and dub them into English so we single language speakers can understand them.

July 24, 2010

The Da Vinci Load (DVD, Hustler Video)

Yep, this shit is real. It seems like nowadays porn companies will parody anything. Edward Penishands, Lawrence of a Labia, Womb Raider, Little Shop of Whores are just a few elaborate titles the porn industry has churned out. The Da Vinci Load is another spoof given the XXX treatment. The title had me laughing pretty hard, but the plot synopsis made it even better; "Operative of the Priory of Semen discover that Leonardo Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa....using his own semen. These keepers of the truth fuck in the name of art and kill anyone who gets in their way". Invite your friends over and make sure alcohol is present for additional hilarity.

July 21, 2010

Movie Reviews: Halloween (2007) and Halloween II (2009)

by Hollis Jay

A wise man (namely David Hayes) once stated that a back story is irrelevant when it comes to developing evil. I agree wholeheartedly with this approach, which brings me to my review of the new Halloween movies. The original Halloween movie was the first movie that I ever saw, and at the age of five I remember being not only interested in the characters but also scared by the idea of Michael Myers. I didn't need to know where he came from or how he developed as a human being in order to understand that he was bad and/or evil. I knew that he was evil by the actions that he committed on screen. When, the new movies came out I found myself excited. How was Rob Zombie going to approach this iconoclastic and legendary story?

Buy Halloween on DVD or Blu-ray

July 17, 2010

Defending Mel Gibson... Sort Of

We've all been there. Everyone has been in an argument in which the other person took things too far. They said something horrible about you. They said something about your family or your kids. They said they'd screw you over so bad you'd never recover. You lose it and fight back. It's a natural thing to do. This week we saw someone connected to the highest peaks in Hollywood do something so despicable that I can't even begin to share my level of disgust with this person. The person I'm speaking of is Oksana Grigorieva.

Book Review: Westchester Station by Patrick Welch (2002)

by David Hayes

Patrick Welch's Westchester Station is a kaleidoscope of interesting characters, some familiar throughout history and literature, and others based completely on the inventiveness of their author. Robert Winstead, Winchester Station's protagonist, is predestined, during a Chicago blizzard, to try and find his way to Schenectady, NY by the only means possible, the enigmatic train depot called Westchester Station. In a series of events not quite controlled by him, Winstead is taken to the train station and told by the stationmaster that Winstead is there for a reason. This reason is the root of Winstead's trip through the magical depot and the reinvigoration of his entire being. Winstead, a marketing account executive, is dissatisfied with his current position, status and general life plan. By meeting and interacting with (both causing and solving problems) the denizens of the depot, Winstead learns his reason for coming to Westchester station, which is his reason for, well, being.

July 16, 2010

Interview: Special Effects Artist Marcus Koch

by David Hayes

Marcus Koch is a special effects wizard that has leant a gooey, drippy hand to some wonderful genre films, most recently H.G. Lewis' The Uh Oh Show and Vito Trabucco's Bloody, Bloody Bible Camp. He is also an award-wining director and the auteur responsible for 100 Tears, Rot (my personal favorite) and the upcoming Fell.

Marcus took a bite out of the Head Cheese and we were lucky enough to get a few words with him.

CHC: It is a definite pleasure to be talking to the director of ROT! I am unashamedly a huge fan of the film. Being your first film, can you comment on the experience itself and if there are any updates on a new presentation?

July 13, 2010

The Movie Burrito: Volume 3 - Cultastrophe

by Jeff Dolniak

Are cult movies your thing? Do you love the so-bad-it's-good genre? Well nobody knows them like Jeff Dolniak, so sit back, dig in and worry about society as a whole.

El Topo

Cult director Alejandro Jodorowskys incredible mind numbing hippie trip with out the acid. The imagery hits you consistently with some of the most bizarre images this side of Tod Browning. This film actually is a western to, but Eastwood wouldn’t touch this!! Recommended for lovers of weirdness and lots of midgets in films.

Movie Review: The Strangers (2008)

by Hollis Jay

After watching The Strangers a few times, I became truly aware of the misogynistic views throughout the film. The women are separated into two categories: vulnerable and violent, but all three women are instigated only by their male figures. Kristen McKay’s character (Liv Tyler) cannot even seem to tie her shoe laces without her boyfriend. If James (Scott Speedman) isn’t carrying her from one destination to another or unzipping her dress and removing her jewelry piece by piece, then he is being beckoned for by Kristen throughout the entire movie.

Buy The Strangers on DVD or Blu-ray

Movie Review: Hellbound: Book of the Dead (2003, Brain Damage Films)

by David Hayes

Originally entitled "Cadaver Bay," Hellbound: Book of the Dead starts out promising the viewer quite a bit. As an ultra low-budget cross between The Evil Dead and one of Romero's zombie epics, Hellbound has some large shoes to fill. From the onset, the viewer knows that it is watching a shot on video cheapie. A young couple, Jeff Dylan Graham (Dead & Rotting, Home Sick) and Elizabeth North, living on an anonymous bay have had a few tragic occurrences in their lives.

Buy Hellbound: Book of the Dead on DVD

July 9, 2010

The Movie Burrito: Volume 2 - Documandatory

Documentaries are a great way to take a look at a particular topic in depth and dig into every angle. The great thing about them is that sometimes they bring you a subject that you might not ever think about. I know we all see the Michael Moore flicks in the mainstream, and deservedly so, but there are so many that slide by unnoticed. Here are a few that I think everyone should pop in the DVD player.

King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

This is definitely on the top of my list for a reason. There has never been a film in my viewing history that made me root more for the hero and more against the villain than King of Kong. The tone is beautifully set with underdog Steve Wiebe, a potential major league pitcher who blew his arm out before his big chance, battling against Billy Mitchell, a hot sauce and barbecue king, for the title. Title of what? Highest all-time Donkey Kong score. From the history of the arcade championships to the most legendary arcade in competitive gaming, this film takes you on a journey of epic nerd proportions that paints Wiebe as a modern day Rocky Balboa.

July 8, 2010

Disaster: Mexican Style

by David Hayes

Rene Cardona, Jr. The name alone inspires apathy throughout the film community. And that is truly a shame. Cardona, following in the footsteps of his director father, Rene Cardona, Sr. of course, has crafted a directing resume that is three decades old and is populated with over 90 feature films. Yet, not a soul can put a face to the near legendary Mexican exploitation master. Maybe it is due solely to marketing? If Tim Burton had cast Johnny Depp as Rene Cardona, Jr., and not Ed Wood, maybe midnight screenings of schlock classics like Cyclone and Tintorera would grace the screens of theaters everywhere. As far as filmmaking skill goes, both Wood and Cardona are in the same league. Stock footage, reused footage and self-referential dialogue (in Cyclone, the characters actually refer to Cardona Sr.’s Survive!) are all hallmarks of exploitation film greatness yet Cardona still hasn’t received the recognition he is due.

Find Rene Cardona, Jr. on

July 2, 2010

Interview: Actor/Filmmaker Jim Van Bebber

Jeff Dolniak interviews actor and filmmaker Jim Van Bebber about his interesting film career.

CHC: Hey Jim! Thanks for taking the time to answer some questions about your film career for Cinema Head Cheese. First I'd like to start off by asking you, what films inspired you most to become a filmmaker?

Find Jim Van Bebber on

JVB: The films that inspired me very early on were "The Wizard Of
Oz", the original "King Kong", "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad", "La Belle
et La Bette" and "Way Of The Dragon".