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December 8, 2024

Christmas Capsule Reviews 2024 – PART I

I’m trying to get an earlier start on some holiday horror flicks this year. The idea is to flog myself for three solid weeks instead of binging a bunch of crap over a couple days, like I did for 2023. I’m aiming for three separate posts - one for each streaming service I have (Tubi, Prime, and Shudder.) I’m sure there are more services I can access but let’s be real. Three is too much anyway!

Caveat: I won’t review anything I’ve already seen or reviewed before. I’m trying to hit the flicks that are new, or new to me. I’ll most likely leave a handful out because they were murder mysteries (crime spree/detective/thriller) shoehorned into the Christmas holiday.

This is my article. I do what I want.

 

TUBI


Killer Raccoons! 2! Dark Christmas in the Dark! (2020)

Newly released from prison, Casey plans to take a train out of his hometown to get a fresh start. Unfortunately, there is a group of criminals, and their killer raccoons, on the train with other ideas.


Apparently this is a parody of Dark Siege and Speed 2. If you say so…

As is expected from an indie horror/comedy, the acting is less than stellar; special effects belong on the short bus; the humor is juvenile. Now I’m the first to admit I’m secretly a 12-year-old boy. But when every line of dialogue (AND I MEAN EVERY LINE) has some kind of joke or double entendre or nudgenudgewinkwink in it, the “humor” dissipates very quickly – like a fart in the wind.

I did like the actor who played Casey, though – Yang Miller. And if you like cameos from one of the porn industry’s highly prolific sexual predators, then you’ll love this.

I did discover that this movie has similar or the same characters from 2005’s Coons! Night of the Bandits of the Night! So I guess it’s kind of a sequel, however unnecessary.

 


Santastein (2023)

One Christmas, little Max Causey accidentally kills Santa. Twelve years later, he perfects a method that will raise him from the dead!

 

Like the name implies, he’s taking parts from a bunch of bodies and Frankensteining a new Santa. And to guarantee it IS Santa, Max kept Santa’s brain. From twelve years prior. In a jar. Uh, okay…

While the sound is unbalanced, the cinematography is a thousand times better than the last flick. There are some great kills, honestly chilling moments, and gory goopy practical effects. Lots of fun.

 

 

 The Christmas Tapes (2022)

A stranger, Geoff, shows up to a family’s home under the guise of a disabled car. But it turns out he wants to make the next great Christmas classic movie. It’s a found footage/SOV type of anthology film. And the stranger shows a handful of tapes to the family, hoping to inspire the aspiring daughter filmmaker-to-be.

 

Geoff is played by none other than Greg Sestero (oh, HAI Mark.) His acting is a little stilted but not bad. He plays four tapes for the family:

1.    A travel vlogging couple summons a German scarecrow (very Blair Witch vibes.)

2.    Dad making a vlog about being boxed up like a gift to be delivered to his kids by “Santa” and “Mrs. Claus.” Unfortunately, Santa originally worked for the Dad and got fired. As you might imagine, he’s not too happy about it.

3.    Guy applies to a dating app then wakes up a prisoner to an unknown captor who’s put a chip in his head to get him to do what he wants. Very VR game visuals. And it’s SOOOPER SHORT.

4.    Couple filming themselves as they move into their new home. But they’re not alone – a haunted Santa figurine wreaks havoc and they hire a paranormal investigator, who is an absolute HOOT (played by Dave Sheridan, he of Special Officer Doofy from Scary Movie fame.)

 

Geoff ends his terrorizing evening by giving the Santa figurine to the captive family.

(*clapboard smack* FIN)

 

 

A Christmas Slay (2015)

Santa obsessed psycho killer escapes from a local hospital and attacks a group of young people in a remote lodge.

 

Loved the practical effects. The film is filled with standard tropes, and it does drag quite a bit from time to time. I adored the psycho Santa, played by Frank Jakeman, who is a little cutie patootie IMHO. Not so original twist ending, though.



Once upon a Time at Christmas (2017)

A psychotic couple, dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, go on a murder spree.

 

Acting is a mixed bag. The crazy couple look pretty good but someone wanted to emulate Harley Quinn in Mrs. Claus’s hairstyle. Kinda pulled me out of the movie a bit.

Again, the cinematography is surprisingly good for an indie film, though it mostly consists of a ton of overhead shots. The blood CGI was total crap but the practical effects weren’t so bad.

The best thing, though, was the motivation or reasoning behind the killing spree. Hilarious and kinda clever. I won’t spoil it, though!

 

 

Nights Before Christmas (2019)

A four-years-later sequel to OUaTaC, the same murderous holiday couple run around killing people. Wash, rinse, repeat.

 

Basically the same critique as the first movie. They didn’t change a lot of the formula/tropes, except for the motivation. If you see the first movie, you don’t really need to watch this one.

 

 

If those little nuggets intrigue you enough to head over to Tubi (what is WRONG with you?) here’s a list of a bunch of other flicks you can watch there, too. Again, I’ve either reviewed these, seen them, or just overwhelmed myself with too much crap for one week and couldn’t bring myself to watch any more.

 

Nightmare on 34th Street

The Killing Tree

All Through the House

Holiday Hell

Werewolf Santa*

Silent Night

13 Slays Til X-Mas

The Christmas Spirit

Down the Chimney with a Shotgun*

Nutcracker Massacre

Christmas Blood (Juleblod)

ALL the indie Krampus crap (like Mother Krampus 1 and 2, Krampus:Origins, blah blah blah)

Good Tidings (this was more thriller pretending to be a slasher but not a bad flick)


*I do want to watch these but I’ll save those for just regular viewing another time.


Tubi is free, so head over there and indulge. If you dare…





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December 1, 2024

Static Age #28: Neverwhere (1996)

Frame from BBC's Neverwhere (1966)

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to the peculiar British 6-episode miniseries Neverwhere (1996) devised by Neil Gaiman (who also penned the same-titled tie-in novel) with Lenny Henry, and originally aired on BBC 2. It concerns an urban fantasy twist on London, called ‘London Bellow’, in which the protagonist (Gary Bakewell) finds himself trapped into. The series may be lacking a bit on the budget department (resulting in mediocre video photography and occasionally poor design), but the strength of the material is such, that it has become a cultural phenomenon among fans of 1990s U.K. television, spawning a graphic novel and several stage plays.

 

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent series…

 

Yellowjackets - Season 2

The 2nd season of Yellowjackets (2021 – present) finds the titular 1990s high school team of female soccer players alumni, having to work together in order to cover up murder, but this is a piece of cake compared to the pagan cult conspiracy they are up against. Featuring once again, non-linear editing, as well as stunning performances by all involved, especially Melanie Lynskey, Juliette Lewis, and Christina Ricci, this is a landmark season that perfectly balances between the macabre and the humorous.

 

Midnight Mass - Season 1

Netflix’s horror mini-series Midnight Mass (2021), created by renowned filmmaker Mike Flanagan is about the problematic isolated community of a secluded island, which has its balances shaken upon the arrival of a new priest. Full of cinematic imagery that includes technically staged one-shots, this is terror television at its best, always effective and atmospheric.

 

The 2nd season of The Punisher (2017 – 2019) has the titular vigilante (Jon Bernthal) meeting a new love interest in the form of gorgeous barwoman Beth (Alexa Davalos), but it will prove hard to keep his life in track, as a mysterious girl (Giorgia Whigham) is in some serious trouble and Frank will resort to violence in order to protect her, while an enemy from the past is also preparing a comeback. Netflix managed to produce the most edgy and powerful material ever to be based on Marvel material, but it was so violent, bloody, and gritty, that the famous comic book owners were not very satisfied in the least.

 

The Terror - Season 2

Executive produced by Ridley Scott, the 2nd season of The Terror (2018 – 2025) is set in WWII California, where a community of Japanese migrants is facing racism. Slow, quiet, and with nothing really going on in terms of plot, this lacks any sense of importance to its proceedings and aims to salvage itself with generally good photography and some atmosphere, but fails.

 

The 4th season of Westworld (2016 – 2022) is set seven years after the demise of Rehoboam, and under its sci-fi wrapping it raises relevant questions about free will and the power of technology, without ever becoming preaching or technophobic. It is a strong genre show, with elegant cinematography and good performances, and an overall exciting series finale.

 

Frame from Fargo - Season 5

The 5th season of Fargo (2014 – 2024) takes us for one final time deep in Minnesota, where a group of dorky and peculiar trigger-happy characters get involved in a mysterious case of kidnapping and murders, all under the watchful (even if not very much so) eyes of the law and media. It perfectly captures the tone of the original film that inspired the series and delivers 10 well-made and exceptionally entertaining episodes, resulting in outstanding television.

 

Slasher - Season 5

The 5th season of Shudder’s Slasher (2016 – 2023) is a period piece set in Toronto, where the street’s scumbags as well as the upper class johns are terrorized by a mysterious figure in black that is employing a fancy knife to kill pimps, prostitutes, clients, and their ilk, in what is the series most boring outing. It seems like it was made with an A.I. algorithm programmed to satisfy the wettest dreams of political correctness, as we are introduced to a bizarre cast that includes a Rastafarian detective, a Black female doctor, a lesbian journalist, a transsexual brothel manager, a pimp with a heart of gold, all in the expense of historical accuracy and common sense. Probably nobody will be offended (which seems to be the aim here) but nobody will be entertained either, that’s for sure.

 

Much more fun and energetic than the couple of previous tired outings, the mere eight episodes of the 4th season of The Boys (2019 – present) has the evil ‘sups trying to maintain their dominance of power abuse and filthy deeds, but it is met with the strong resistance of the opposing side that includes former superheroes that are disgusted by the conquerors corrupted empire. Kinetic and full of stunning gore scenes, this is a splattering adventure that will not fail at entertaining you. It also benefits from a strong cast (that includes Karl Urban and Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and a cool soundtrack (that includes tunes from The Sex Pistols and Nirvana). And after all, where else can you see flying sheep thirsty for blood?

 

Narcos: Mexico - Season 2

The 2nd season of Narcos: Mexico (2018 – 2021) takes deep into the history of the titular country, with a focus on the influence of the drug cartels, and continues with the story of kingpin Felix (Diego Luna) who upon celebrating his 40th birthday, has to rethink of his allies and enemies. If gangster epics with narcotics float your boat, you can’t do much better than this outing from Netflix.

 

LGBTQI+ icon Ncuti Gatwa is the new Doctor in the 1st season of the fresh Doctor Who (2023 – present) and Ruby Sunday (Millie Gibson) is his sidekick. Together they get themselves involved with several exciting adventures that include snot monsters and a maestro who wants to leave the world without music. With episodes ranging thematically from folk horror to technophobia, this is a pure winner.

 

Thank You, Goodnight...

The documentary mini-series Thank You, Goodnight: The Bon Jovi Story (2024) – now available on Hulu – takes on legendary glam rock band Bon Jovi’s tremendous career of rock ‘n’ roll success and excess. But despite their conventional approach, the four episodes manage to go deeper into friendships and relationships as well, resulting in a very interesting end result for dedicated fans of the group’s music and newcomers alike.

 

The ambitiously-titled Porn King: The Rise & Fall of Ron Jeremy (2022) had me wishfully thinking of a desired in-depth look at the notorious actor’s actual rise to fame, but instead the two-part documentary mini-series is focusing on the titular man’s recent rape and assault trial and even at that it doesn’t offer too much aside from the regular talking heads, the vast majority of which are expectedly from the adult film business, with some of them taking the side of the accused and others the side of the accused. With such an interesting real-life story that is swinging between the world of entertainment and the true crime genre, this can only be viewed as a missed opportunity and plays like an average lengthy newsreel.

 

The ill-named ‘art-house’ genre or whatever you would like to call this pretentious kind of film is an area I tend to steer clear from as much as possible. But for some bizarre reason, in the last few months I convinced myself to sit through a few of them, and here are my thoughts…

 

The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

Based on the previous year’s same-titled novel by John Steinbeck, and turned into a screenplay by Nunnally Johnson (who also produced, with Darryl F. Zanuck), director John Ford’s The Grapes of Wrath (1940) is set during the Great Depression and follows a group of Oklahoma farmers that are forced to migrate to California. With a stellar cast that includes Henry Fonda and John Carradine, this is considered one of the greatest social dramas ever made, but even its lavish production (it was distributed by 20th Century Fox) is not enough to save the boring proceedings.

 

Rome Open City (1945) directed by Roberto Rossellini (who also wrote the screenplay with Sergio Amidei, Federico Fellini, and Alberto Consiglio) is set during WWII occupation of the titular Italian city and focuses on the story of Resistance leader Giorgio Manfredi (Marcelo Pagliero) as he tries to escape the Nazis, without causing the harm of his comrades. It is a very human story and it benefits greatly from the fascinating cast that includes Anna Magnani and Aldo Fabrizi. This is the first installment of the auteur’s ‘neorealist trilogy’ and it won the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival.

 

Paisan (1946) poster

Featuring six stories, director Roberto Rossellini’s Paisan (1946) is an anthology film and it is focusing on the interactions between Italian locals (mostly of the South) with soldiers (mostly Americans) during WWII. As it is expected by a film from the neorealist ‘movement’ that was cherished by several International Film Festivals that praised it with supposedly prestigious awards, endless boredom is guaranteed.

 

The problems young and poor boys are facing in the Allied-occupied Berlin are the concerns of director Roberto Rossellini’s Germany, Year Zero (1948), which rounds up the WWII neorealist trilogy he made in the 1940s and presumably had many political issues to discuss, yet it only managed to engage audiences with endless and torturous boredom.

 

Summer with Monika (1952)

Based on the same-titled 1951 novel by Per Anders Fogelstrom, Summer with Monika (1952) directed by Ingmar Bergman is about the titular sensual young lady (Harriet Andersson) and her relationship with a boyfriend (Lars Ekborg) that is doomed to fail for a variety of reasons. The film itself didn’t quite fail though as despite being a pretty conventional romance drama, it also contains some revolutionary – for the era – scenes of nudity featuring the female lead that caused a sensation with audiences. It is now regarded as one of art-house cinema’s crown achievements, but in reality it is a pretty boring picture.

 

Directed by Laszlo Benedek and starring Marlon Brando as the titular outlaw biker, The Wild One (1953) is – simply put – an iconic film that marked a generation. John Paxton’s screenplay (the provocative question ‘What are you rebelling against?’ that received Brando’s well-deserved answer ‘What you’ve got?’ is one of the greatest line exchanges of 1950s cinema) was based on Frank Rooney’s pulp Cyclists’ Raid short story (it was originally published on Harper’s Magazine and became more popular when it was anthologized in The Best American Short Stories 1952), which in turn was based on the true story of the 1947 American Motorcyclist Association rally that briefly became a news sensation due to some brief criminal activity that media couldn’t get enough of. However, contrary to mainstream film critics’ beliefs, the actual fact is that in terms of cinema this wasn’t the film that started it all for the biker exploitation subgenre, as a certain 1966 film by Roger Corman was much more influential.

 

And God Created...

And God Created Woman
(1956), directed by Roger Vadim (who also penned the screenplay, with Raoul Levy) is set in St. Tropez and is about a young promiscuous woman (the impossibly beautiful Brigitte Bardod, in the sensual role that made her a household name overnight) that is perceived as a ‘wild animal’ that ‘cannot be tamed’ and therefore becomes a threat to local men and the village’s society in general. Very daring for its time in terms of visual content but also very groundbreaking in terms of what it has to say, this is an important piece in the history of provocative films.

 

Written and directed by Ingmar Bergman, Wild Strawberries (1957) is an existential drama about nothing in particular. It is featuring an aging Victor Sjostrom who is playing a professor that is reflecting on his past and a young Max Von Sydow. It won several awards and it is widely appreciated by the art-house crowd, but the sheer boredom of watching it is undeniable.

 

The Seventh Seal (1957)

Ingmar Bergman’s historical thriller The Seventh Seal (1957) is set in Sweden (the country of production) during the Black Death era, and it tells the story of a knight (Max Von Sydow) who places a bet on his life with a game of chess against Death himself (Bengt Ekerot). The film is considered a classic, but I almost died of boredom. At some point death is asking the knight if he lost interest, and before he could answer, I was screaming that I did!

 

Based on a Swedish folk ballad from the 13th century and turned into screenplay format by Ulla Isaksson, director Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring (1960) is set in medieval times and is focusing on the rape of young girl by a trio of peasants. Endless boredom ensues, but the Academy must have seen something in it as it won its ‘Best Foreign Language Film’ award. In 1972 a certain Wes Craven remade it in the form of a New York roughie, which accidentally turned into a horror movie and became a ‘rape and revenge’ phenomenon; you’re better off seeing that film.

 

Accattone (1961) poster

Written and directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini, Accattone (1961) is about the titular pimp (a perfectly cast Franco Citti) who is pimping poor girls in the outskirts of Rome. Despite some very interesting skid row locations and the strong subject matter, the execution is flat and boring.

 

Written by Vladimir Nabokov (and based upon his own same-titled hit novel from 1955 – the adaptation nominated him for an Academy Award), director Stanley Kubrick’s seminal classic Lolita (1962) is about the titular young lady (Sue Lyon – who was only 14 when this was filmed) who has a middle-aged professor (Peter Sellers) falling in love with her. Touching the overtly taboo subjects of child sexual seduction, grooming, and abuse, but presented in dark comedy manner, this is a daring film and it wouldn’t fly today in any form.

 

Band of Outsiders (1964) poster

Based on a novel by Dolores Hitchens, writer/director Jean Luc Godard’s Band of Outsiders (1964) is homage to old Hollywood pictures (it is dedicated to Monogram) and pulp books (several references can be spotted throughout the film’s entire running time). It tells the story small-time crooks Franz (Sami Frey) and Arthur (Claude Brasseur) that persuade a young student (the breathtakingly charming and otherworldly stylish Anna Karina) to perform a robbery. Godard found his perfect muse in the face of Karina, and the French New Wave circle found its most meaningful and enjoyable film – the notorious dance sequence is worthy of the admission price alone, and is deservingly recognized as one of cinema’s most important moments.

 

The fear of a potential Cold War with the nuclear threat between the Soviet Union and the United States of America is satirized in director Stanley Kubrick’s dark comedy Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1966) which is featuring Pete Sellers in three roles – all of them from different political standpoints and parties. It was nominated for four Academy Awards and it is still quite funny, despite its settings that may alienate younger audiences that are not familiar with the then-current political agenda, because the madness behind situations such as these are unfortunately timeless.

 

Cul-de-sac (1966) poster

Two wounded gangsters find solace in a secluded house run by a peculiar couple in Roman Polanski’s first English-speaking film, the crime comedy Cul-de-sac (1966), which has a great cast that includes Donald Pleasence and Jacqueline Bisset, but not much else for my exquisite taste.

 

Possibly the only film that Ingmar Bergman directed and I find remotely interesting, Persona (1966) is about a young nurse (Bibi Andersson) that takes care of a famous actress (Liv Ullmann) who was recently muted after a suspected psychotic episode. Avant-garde in its aesthetical approach but verging on the horror film tonally and thematically, this deep film explores themes of insanity and duality, but most importantly it raises questions about what is a person (hence the title) and what is identity. Carl Jung’s psychoanalytic theories were quite popular at the time, and this thoughtful work fits just right to the subject discussed.

 

Blow-Up (1966) poster

Set amidst the mod subculture explosion of the Swinging Sixties London, and based upon a short story by Julio Cortazar from 1959, director Michelangelo Antonioni’s landmark classic Blow-Up (1966) is about a fashion photographer (David Hemmings) who believes he has caught a murder with his camera. Featuring stunning ladies (including Vanessa Redgrave) and a bombastic soundtrack (that includes a track from The Yardbirds) this is aesthetically stunning (even if it doesn’t have much to say, thematically at least) and won the Cannes International Film Festival’s prestigious Palme d’Or.

 

In The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967), a vampire hunter (Jack MacGowran) and his assistant (Roman Polanski, who also directed – and wrote the screenplay, with Gerard Brach) travel to a secluded mountain village in order to discover vampirism, but what they find instead is lame humor and the filmmaker’s late wife Sharon Tate. Well-made but absolutely dated, this horror comedy is unable to generate laughs or even a barely good time for its audience.

 

If... (1968) poster

Lindsay Anderson’s If… (1968) starring Malcolm McDowell as the leader of a revolutionary group that takes direction within the grounds of an oppressive college is a remarkable satirical political drama that came at the right time in History, just around when the uprising of May ’68 was taking place in France. But by so perfectly depicting the misery of the English schooling system, the result is a miserable film as well. However, the finale is brilliant and rewarding.

 

Robin Shea (a stunning Rebecca De Mornay, long before she became a household name) is trying to figure a clever way out of prison (as escaping plans didn’t go very well) and is manipulative enough to acquire the aid of a staff member (Vincent Spano) and a local politician (Frank Langella) in Roger Vadim’s And God Created Woman (1988) – which is a remake of the film tackled above in name only – a remarkably meaningless affair that ended up being the final theatrical outing of the auteur, but looks as conventional as the TV works that ensued.

 

Lolita (1997) poster

With Jeremy Irons taking the role of Professor Humbert who is sexually attracted to teenage girls and Dominique Swain taking the titular role in Lolita (1997) – the second adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov’s notorious book – along with an excellent supporting cast that includes Melanie Griffith and Frank Langella, this opus directed by Adrian Lyne is far more dark and provocative than Kubrick’s classic, but it somewhat feels flat and overall average. Ennio Morricone did the soundtrack, but it doesn’t rank among his most memorable works.

 

And it is here that we wrap this peculiar entry of Static Age (which turned out to be the lengthiest yet), with a final note that bizarrely for my taste I also enriched my bookshelves with the following fiction additions: Stephen King’s Christine (1983), David Grann’s The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny, and Murder (2023), and three classics by Neil Gaiman [Good Omens (1990), Neverwhere (1996), and The Graveyard Book (2008)].


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November 15, 2024

Hardwood: The Adult Features of Ed Wood

In celebration of his centennial, Severin Films honors iconic filmmaker Edward D. Wood, Jr. – “the man who defined the term ‘Outsider Artist’ before it was even coined” (Daily Grindhouse) – with HARD WOOD: THE ADULT FEATURES OF ED WOOD, a loaded 3-disc Blu-ray set featuring a trio of his lurid ‘70s adult features now restored uncut from the ultimate source elements for the first time ever. Near the end of his career, the angora-loving auteur behind PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE and GLEN OR GLENDA? earned his booze funds by writing and directing explicit adult films, and this eye-popping set delivers three of the most memorable: NECROMANIA – in both hard and soft versions – stars Rene Bond and The Amazing Criswell’s coffin in a tale of weird love shot in two days by Ed while wearing a pink babydoll outfit. Uschi Digard stars in THE ONLY HOUSE IN TOWN, a softcore saga of nonsensical dialog and orgiastic depravity. Wood’s bizarre final film, the thought lost THE YOUNG MARRIEDS, is presented in hard and its never-before-seen soft versions. As a Bonus, J. Pat O’Malley and William Schallert star in the Wood-penned hicksploitation rarity SHOTGUN WEDDING, plus over 7 hours of Special Features that include three separate audio commentaries, a conversation with Bobcat Goldthwait and Dana Gould produced exclusively for this collection, the North American disc debut of The Incredibly Strange Film Show – Ed Wood Jr., plus 9 vintage sex loops and much more.

November 1, 2024

A Binge too Far #46: Airplane! duo (1980 – 1982)

Leslie Nielsen and Robert Hays in Airplane! (1980)

Taking its cue from the disaster film genre in general and Zero Hour! (1957) in particular, the Airplane! (1980 – 1982) duo is treating us with some really outrageous comedy!

 

Airplane! (1980) poster

Airplane!
(1980)

 

A goofy ex-fighter pilot (Robert Hays) must take control of a commercial airplane when all crew members become ill with food poisoning. Will he manage to land it safely and win the love of his ex-girlfriend (Julie Hagerty)? Will the only doctor (Leslie Nielsen) on board help matters or will he prove equally goofy?

 

The writing and directing team of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker make a slapstick parody of the disaster film genre without becoming too removed from the source material, and deliver a wild comedy that became a phenomenon. It grossed a stunning $171 million on a modest $3.5 million budget and even won a few awards, along with critical appreciation.

 

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Airplane II: The Sequel
(1982)

 

It is now the future, and a commercial flight to space is suffering a computer malfunctions that changes its route to the sun. Ted Striker (Robert Hays) recently escaped from a psychiatric ward and it is now up to him to save the day.

 

With the original team behind the glorious original comedy nowhere on sight and with Ken Finkelman handling both writing and directing duties, this is funny enough to guarantee for a good time, but nowhere near as outrageous as the first outing. Julia Hagerty is also welcomingly back, but the absence of Leslie Nielsen hurt the proceedings. A third instalment was announced but since this grossed a mere $27.2 million on a $15 million budget, these plans never materialized.


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October 1, 2024

A Binge too Far #45: The Unhinged All Hallow's Eve duo (2013 – 2015)

Art the Clown debuting in All Hallow's Eve (2013)

October is Halloween month of course, and what a better way to celebrate it with a duo of movies set during horror fan’s most celebrated holiday!

 

All Hallow's Eve (2013) DVD

All Hallow’s Eve
(2013)

 

Set in Small Town, U.S.A. during Halloween night, a babysitter (Katie Maguire) finds an unmarked VHS tape in a candy bag and proceeds to watch it with the kids she’s caring for (Sydney Freihofer and Cole Mathewson). The tape is appropriate enough for the occasion as it contains three horrible short films featuring a man in an uncanny clown costume (Mike Gianelli) performing all sorts of devilish deeps, including dismembering and disembowelling.

 

Director Damien Leone was a master of the short film form by the time he managed to get this – his feature length debut – off the ground, and it channels perfectly his journey as a filmmaker as it incorporates almost entire segments of his previous shorts and quite flawlessly too. But aside from presenting his first feature as a ‘best of’ show-reel of his excellent previous shorts, this absolutely works as a standalone entry; and what an entry that it is! One of the best anthology horror films in the history of the (admittedly short in numbers) subgenre, this is unexpectedly provocative and will hit you like a hammer in the face; with Guinea Pig-styled brutal violence that broader audiences never got to witness before. It is also well-made and it deserves all the attention it received and deservedly made Art the Clown a meme and a horror character star.

 

All Hallow's Eve 2 (2015)

All Hallow’s Eve 2
(2015)

 

A man wearing a Jack-o’-lantern mask is stalking a woman until he is seemingly satisfied with leaving a VHS tape on her doorstep. As you would normally do, she checks out to see what is in the tape, only to witness a number of horror shorts.

 

Whereas the original film pushed really hard its concept and succeeded (as the shorts in that instalment were truly something otherworldly), this standalone sequel doesn’t do much of this (as the shorts are pretty standard material, and the whole scheme of the tape with the unknown origin doesn’t look much scarier than a promotional gimmick, for example), and whereas the first time around we had to face some pretty bizarre and uncomfortable taboo-breaking scenes (many of which were reminiscent of Joe D’Amato’s glorious early 1980s days), this unrelated sequel is mundanely standard and average (the unnatural dialogues are farce-like and come across as if they were written by a film student). The many directors involved made it easy for the haters to say that the horror anthology subgenre should remain underproductive.


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September 1, 2024

A Binge too Far #44 - The Grim Aesthetics of the Interview with the Vampire duo (1994 – 2002)

Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

Based on a novel by Anne Rice that is beloved among Goths and the like, these two adaptations may be of interest to teens that like gorgeous vampires, but it is of little appeal to anyone else, especially fans of the real cinema of the macabre.

 

Interview with the Vampire

Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

 

Set in 20th century San Francisco this is about beautiful vampire Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt) who gives an interview to Danie Molloy (Christian Slater) that results in several flashbacks that go as far back as in time and place as 1791 Louisiana, exploring numerous blood-drinking situations.

 

This massive $60 million production by The Geffen Film Company was directed by Neil Jordan [The Company of Wolves (1984)] and is featuring an outstanding cast of beautiful people (aside from the aforementioned players it also includes Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, and Kirsten Dunst). It was distributed by Warner Bros and became a box-office phenomenon as it grossed $223.7 million. It was nominated for a couple of Oscars too, because the Academy must have seen something in it that I don’t. All I see is endless boredom beyond belief.

 

Queen of the Damned (2002)

Queen of the Damned
(2002)

 

The well-known ancient vampire Lestat (Stuart Townsend making a ridiculous Ville Valo impersonation, but at least he is sexually appealing to alternative girls, I imagine) makes a return to the modern world – in a Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) fashion, and we all know how that went – in the form of rock star that is fronting an awful band that sounds like a zombie version of Korn. And while it is said in the film that he has become bigger than Elvis (despite hanging out in the usual small Goth clubs and bars) he finds trouble in the form of the titular vampire (Aaliyah, who is also sexy enough to appeal to male audiences, but nowhere near looking anything exceptional enough to be certified as the leader of all vampires by any means).

 

Based on the third novel in The Vampire Chronicles series penned by Anne Rice, this loose sequel to the sleeper hit of the 1990s gets the emo upgrade (do you remember them?) from director Michael Rymer (better known for his television work) and is full of badly dated CGI and equally awful music that includes terrible acts such as Disturbed and Static-X. It didn’t do much at the box-office as it grossed a mere $45.5 million on a $35 million budget, but it resonated well with kids of that era’s style that still cherish the film as something special, which is definitely not.


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