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January 29, 2009

Kevin Moyers

Bio by Jeff Dolniak

In the year 1970, a talented young man was brought into this world. That man was Kevin Blaine Moyers. Kevin had everything going for him. He was bright, articulate, family oriented and an amazing athlete. Football was his passion. So much so that he defied the odds of his 5'6", 133 pound frame and played cornerback for the Chicago Bears. Not long after starting his first game, Kevin experienced a horrible injury; a dislocated mammary gland. Kevin's football career was done. From there on, it was a downward spiral that eventually put him on the street. The former all-American was now heavily addicted to the semen of homeless men until he crossed paths with Jeff Dolniak, the man who saved his life. Jeff was strolling down the street with his pal David Hayes when he spotted Moyers engulfing a filthy garbage covered fat man. Jeff ordered Dave to kick the hobo's flesh-whistle out of Kevin's mouth. David did so, then wiped the smegma off of Moyers' face with a napkin. Ever since that fateful day behind Browns Chicken in Cicero, Illinois, Kevin has been a whirlwind of creativity. Acting in films such as Blown, Sportkill, Reborn, Oranges: Revenge of Eggplant and the critically acclaimed Undone. Kevin has also published a comic book called Scorn and performs stand-up comedy.

Read Kevin's Columns


Twitter: @kevinmoyers


Blog: Knock It Off, Douchebag

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