Search the Cinema Head Cheese Archives!

January 6, 2014

Movie Review: To Jennifer (2013, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

It's a tough one reviewing a film that's already made it onto your "worst" list of films of 2013. But I'll give this one a go, it will be a bit more brief then my usual reviews out of respect for the filmmakers and talent involved.

Joey (Chuck Pappas) suspects his girlfriend Jennifer (Jessica Cameron) is cheating on him. He enlists the help of his cousin played by the director (pretty good performance) to help him make a video diary of it all and expose Jennifer in the process.

This film is 76 minutes long including credits. It would have worked better at a 20 minute short film. It's commendable that Bressack after much success with "Hate Crime" would attempt an experimental film. "Shot entirely on the I-phone 5". So the film plays out basically like a bad series of youtube videos. The lead actor is highly annoying, it's hard to feel bad for him when he's bitching all the time. Bressack as the cousin Steven, is much better. Personally, the film would have been better if he played the lead role.

So basically what we have is 64 minutes of amateurish screenwriting and lackluster performances , followed by 12 minutes of well... what feels like a forgotten segment from the first VHS film. The film would appeal to some people, mainly if your in between the ages of 14-17 and you just got dumped by your GF. The film feels like "Hate Crime light" meets a low brow Kevin Smith script. It's not a very smart film, it's not a very emotional film. It's basically a bunch of superficial, bitchy twenty somethings driving around in a car and making "jokes" that are not in the least bit funny.

So what we have here is a failed experiment. Is it good enough to go up onto youtube for free? Yes. But the fact that this got released on DVD surprised me. This is the kind of film a director shows his freinds and would say "What was I thinking when I made this?". I give the people involved credit for a interesting "gimmic" of an idea but when your film has no heart or soul it's hard to give a damn.

Now some people, very few mind you. Talk about the "twist" at the end... well you could figure it out from looking at the box cover. Yes Joey eventually meets up with Jennifer at the end of the film... some shit happens. Roll credits. The film sadly falls to pieces in the final 12 minutes. Up until then it was just annoying, then it just got bad when they started throwing in bits of violence. It's not shocking violence, it's trying to hard. The entire film feels like a "Notice me!" sticky note that someone slapped around town.

I was hoping the final 12 minutes would make up for all that stupid twenty something angst but it didn't. When Joey finds Jennifer... she's hiding in the garage... in a corner... with a broom... not kidding. Then the scene plays out like the infamous Shining sequence with a baseball bat. Instead, we get an actress who can act but isn't trying this time, swinging a broom around, instead of using a knife? It's a bad performance, I say that with no bias. It's basically like a poorly acted Shelly Duvall. You know the whole "Get away from me, what are you doing? Why are you doing this?" type of thing. Not the strong female character I was hoping for... the whole film is a build up to this sequence. It's pretty much like a disappointing porno when no money shot at the end.

I wanted to love this film, I even ordered two copies before I was sent this screener copy. But the film is just one epic fail after the next. Everyone involved is talented for the most part but... it seems a lot of it was improvised and it didn't feel natural. It felt phoney.

Can't reccomend this film unless your 15, a tad twisted, and are obsessed with bad movies and I-phones.

Lucky the DVD is better then the feature on it.

The picture quailty is pretty decent considering it was shot on an I-phone. A lot of it is blurry but, that comes with the territory. It's a well shot film for what it was shot on.

The sound was surpringly well done and actually the best part of the film was the sound design.

For Extra's we get a commentary track which I'd reccomend you just listen to it instead of watching the film. It's much more entertaining. Then we get the film's trailer as the final extra... it shows you everything you need to know.

Well, this is a no brainer. Avoid this film at all costs, no redeeming value... even though it's better than what I would be capable of doing with my own very limited talents. Maybe a 99 cent Redbox rental if your really bored and depressed about being broken up with and enjoy juvinial acting and humor. Skip it and check out Hate Crime or better yet, buy yourself something good like Murder University or Post Mortem 2021 or Blood Soaked... real films, made with real talent. 


1 comment:

  1. You could at least use proper grammar.... You are a very bad critic....