Movie Review: Night Train to Terror (1985, Vinegar Syndrome)

...getting right down to the nitty gritty, when discussing a rather unconventional genre film, like the 1985 horror anthology flick, "Night Train to Terror", this viewer cannot help but recall a poignantly applicable line in the 1987 Steve Martin-starring comedy, "Roxanne", where at one point, the Cyrano de Bergerac-inspired character Steve plays, crudely describes his character's rather large nose, and says something like, "...it's not the size of the nose that's important; it's what's in it, that's matters". A fitting metaphor, to be sure, considering that "Night Train to Terror"...this totally batshit crazy insane 'trilogy of terror' is basically culled from keenly edited (...ha!!), easier to digest (...double 'ha'!!), Reader's Digest versions of longer and, for the most part, wholly negligible horror-themed feature films (...well, actually...two feature films, and the footage of one unfinished film), including "Scream Your Head Off", "Cataclysm" (...aka "The Nightmare Never Stops") and "The Death Wish Club" (...aka "Gretta"). Horror anthologies are typically a mixed bag, anyways, but in this case, throw in some whacked-looking stop-motion animation...a rather striking and respectable amount of gore...humorously irreverent and irrepressible character actor Richard Moll (...1986's "House", 1982's "Sword and the Sorcerer"), here, doing the 'Karen Black/Trilogy of Terror' thing, by having unrelated multiple roles in the film...some rather arcane, cross-banter, 'good versus evil' dialog, bridging the stories together...not to mention some of the most cheesiest, brainless and tortuously infectious '80's style music video sequences, and you've got an off-the-charts and over-the-top excursion into horror anthology insanity, which tosses in everything, including the kitchen sink...and you know something?? Well, I'll be damned...how about that?? In a weird way, this actually works!!!