Movie Review: Jesus, The Total Douchebag (2012)

This is a first for me, folks. I know I haven’t been reviewing movies for Cinema Head Cheese for all that long (just over a year) so there are still going to be a lot of flicks out there that will disgust me, bore me, make me die a little inside. But as of June 19, 2014, one day before my 45th birthday, I quit on a movie only 45 minutes in (hmmm...45 years, 45 minutes, interesting coinkeedink). I’m ashamed that I wasn’t stronger, ashamed that I didn’t have the mental fortitude to tough it out. Perhaps, though, I will be able to save one of you from a future of darkness and despair that will be sure to follow anyone who watches this brain-sucking project.

Director and star, Bill Zebub (I shit you not), brings us Jesus, The Total Douchebag. It’s an overreaching, try-too-hard-because-I-want-people-to-think-I’m-edgy satire about Jesus, God, and all religion in general. I hate to break it to you, Bill, but you are neither original nor interesting with this theme. Atheism and agnosticism is what all the cool kids are playing at and you come off as the hipster wanna-be at the tail end of the skinny jeans and beard trend.

Movie Review: The Jesus Guy (2010)

A quote on the liner notes by Albert Mayles claims that this movie is "Unforgettable. Absolutely unforgettable." I can't disagree with that. I found this brisk (67 minute) documentary riveting, and it left me with much to think about. Like many great documentaries, filmmaker Sean Tracey doesn't take sides. He presents his subject from as many angles as he can, and leaves the viewer to his own conclusions. It is not a PR job, nor is it an expose'. Like it's enigmatic subject, what you think about him will have much to do with your own views and what you as observer bring to the plate.

Buy The Jesus Guy on DVD

The subject of this even-handed chronicle is a man who, for the last nineteen years, has walked across the country barefoot, clad only in a white robe, emulating the traditional image of Christ. He has no possessions beyond his robe and Bible, and accepts no donations. He lives off the food people offer him, and the Eucharist wafers in Catholic churches. He is the first to claim that he is not pretending to be Christ, nor does he believe he is the second coming.