Movie Review: Lake Placid (1999; 20th Century Fox/Shout Factory)

...killer crocodiles, this...monster alligators, that...over the years, we've had rogue crocs, super-crocs, gatoroids, dino-crocs, mega-gators, and 'what-a-croc' everything in-between (...if I may be so applicably sarcastic). Heck, if it wasn't for all these king-sized blood-thirsty, CGI-rendered mutated 'monster gator' and 'killer croc' movies...why, the SyFy Channel NYSE stock would most assuredly plummet, and the audience for said genre cable channel staple, would probably shrink down to the size of...say, that of The Singing & Dancing Ampersand Channel (...nothing like comparative sarcasm, right??). And yet, amongst these almost countless, generic and often forgettable cinematic reptilian terrors, there's the standout misfits...the often bantered-about cult film oddities, with vividly striking visuals and lively, albeit eclectic characters...revered highly amidst the genre-embracing crowd. For instance, y'all remember the classic 1980 subterranean gut-muncher, "Alligator", right?? The clueless, burnt out, inner-city police officer, investigating some mysterious disappearances and deaths?? The unscrupulous, money grubbing, middle-aged industrialist, who represented, then sheltered illegal and careless discarded chemical experiments, which turns out to have adverse effects on...uh, oh?? The arrogant, ballyhooed and pompous big game hunter, who's come to the big city, in search of the ultimate game?? The invariable clash of characters, between the three?? And of course, the film's titular 'protagonist', itself...oh yes, who can't forget the classic visual of that monstrous 35-plus foot gargantuan reptile, breaking through the concrete streets, from it's underground sewer lair...an ear-shattering roar, emitting from it's gaping, razor tooth-lined maw...

...really!! Can another film of this ilk, come along and possibly top that level of camp...or at least equal it??

Movie Review: CZ12: Chinese Zodiac (2012, Emperor Motion Pictures)

...really gotta give mega-action-star Jackie Chan, some serious gumption. After all, look at the dude; at only 59 years of age, still being one of the most youthfully vibrant celebrities, working in martial arts cinema, despite his seasoning...and still doing his own stunts, at his age, no less. The guy is, without a doubt, the 'Mick Jagger' of the martial arts movie genre, in the sense that the death-defying stunts that he does, isn't gonna kill him; it'll be merely the fact that he'll keep tirelessly working in the motion picture field, up until the point that...well, up to the point when he just can't do it, anymore, physically...he's that dedicated. What's so damn cool about that dedication, is that for him, it's not just for the money...it's for the endless, world-wide legion of fans, who he dedicates himself to. As such, this proves a most invariably inarguable point, considering his well-documented, record breaking stuntwork, which has been a better part of his work...as well as the ensuing, equally record-breaking injuries, which he has sustained, in the course of the 40-some-odd years, which he has been performing (...and for those privy to all of Jackie's work, that observation might be emphasized best, in watching the jaw-dropping end-credit outtake footage, in each of his films...a practice, which he was inspired to include at the end of each of his films, after having starred in 1981's "Cannonball Run"...which also included outtake footage, during the end credits). Well, this viewer is here to tell you that despite his reported announcements, Jackie seemingly appears to have no sign of stopping in his tracks and packing it in, as far as offering his fans, the death-defying, action-packed thrills and chills they've come to expect, as evident in his latest cross-country actioner (...yes, he directed this one, too)...a rollicking excursion in comedy, intrigue, mystery and high adventure, called "CZ12: Chinese Zodiac"...