Static Age #22: Legends of the Superheroes (1979)

Promotional frame from Legends of the Superheroes (1979)

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to Legends of the Superheroes (1979), a two-episode television special (each episode runs for a full hour) made by Hanna-Barbera Productions and aired on NBC. Loosely based on the Super Friends animated series (that I may cover one day via this column) and featuring several DC superheroes and super-villains, most notably the ones from the 1960s Batman kitsch-fest. By employing a standard TV show approach (complete with a laugh track and stand-up comedy antics that range from sexist to racist – I mean, ‘Ghetto-Man’, seriously?), the first studio-confined episode (‘The Challenge’) is unbearable, but the second one (‘The Roast’) is featuring several vignettes that makes it a bit more sustainable.

 

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent series…

 

Stanger Things - Season 4

Netflix’s crown jewel series Stranger Things (2016 – present) returned with its 4^th and most epic season offered in two volumes (the first becoming available in May and the other in July 2022) totaling 9 feature-length episodes (the finale alone is almost two and a half hours long) that reveal an increase in budget and inspiration. The Duffer brothers have done it again, offering a solid story that takes us back to our favorite 1980s amidst a chaos of alien threats and banal fashions. This is landmark television, master storytelling, killer pop aesthetics, and it should not be missed by fans of the genre.

 

Daredevil - Season 3

It used to be the case that if you were dark you’d most likely be in the DC Universe, but Netflix changed things and the 3^rd season of Marvel’s Daredevil (2015 – 2018) is violent and bloody, as we find the titular superhero (Charlie Cox) in a new round of battles against Wilson Fisk (Vincent D’Onofrio); it’s a pity though that the end result is boring as well, and after you’ve finished with its 13 episodes you feel like it’s for better that we didn’t get more. The angle with the Albanian mob and the arc with Daredevil as a wanted man from the FBI are both interesting, but not enough to save the day.

 

Executive produced by Jason Blum for his own Blumhouse Television and made available on Hulu, the 1^st season of Into the Dark (2018 – 2021) consists of 12 feature-length holiday-themed episodes, most of them so well-done that could have easily played theaters. ‘The Body’ is about a hit-man (Tom Bateman) who after offing somebody gets mixed-up in some circumstances that have him lose the dead body to some Halloween partying teenagers (each one of them more annoying than the other) and now has to retrieve it on time and deliver it to his unseen boss (they only talk on the phone), a task that will also require the help of data analyst Maggie (the gorgeous Rebecca Rittenhouse). ‘Flesh & Blood’ is about agoraphobic teenager Kimberly (Diana Silvers) who is mourning the recent death of her mother, but her dad (Dermot Mulroney) may be hiding a terrible secret or two. ‘Pooka!’ is about a struggling actor (Nyasha Hatendi) who strikes gold when he signs up to play the titular toy character in a television commercial and his life changes completely, but is it for the better or for worse? ‘New Year, New You’ is about healthy lifestyle influencer Danielle Williams (Carly Chaikin) who gets invited at a house party set up by her old friends from school, but unbeknownst to her the setting is a trap and all they want from her is to confess to the bullying she had initiated that resulted in the suicide of a young girl several years ago. ‘Down’ is about two people (Natalie Martinez and Matt Lauria) stuck in an elevator, but there’s more to the situation than what meets the eye. ‘Treehouse’ is about a TV chef (Jimmi Simpson) who is about to get punished for his sinister past. ‘I’m Just F*cking with you’ is about a resentful internet troll (Larry Adams) who spends a night in Bates-like motel where the jokester clerk (Hayes MacArthur) may be a bit too dangerous. In ‘All that We Destroy’, a geneticist Victoria Harris (Samantha Mathis) creates several clones to satisfy the violent urges of her son (Israel Broussard). A family mourns the passing of the mother in ‘They Come Knocking’, until things get a paranormal twist. ‘Culture Shock’ tells the story of a group of people crossing the Mexico/U.S. border in order to find the American dream, but all they find is nightmares. A group of students in detention are about to face nightmares of both the real and supernatural kind in ‘School Spirit’. A dodgy purity camp featuring a creepy pastor is the setting of ‘Pure’, but religious fundamentalists may get what they deserve in this one.

 

Castle Rock - Season 2

Based on characters and settings created by Stephen King and executive produced by J.J. Abrams, the 2^nd season of Hulu’s Castle Rock (2018 – 2019) is about a nurse (the gorgeous Lizzy Caplan) who is struggling with her own personal mental demons, but things will get worse once she moves into the titular location where she’ll find herself amidst a beef between local businessmen and Somali migrants. Featuring a near-perfect performance by the legendary Tim Robbins, this may not be a small screen masterpiece, but it is quite enjoyable. Its main weakness are the several flashbacks that have become mandatory these days, but drag the proceedings.

 

Peaky Blinders - Season 6

The 6^th season of Peaky Blinders (2013 – 2022) has ruthless gangster Thomas Shelby (Cilian Murphy) getting involved with more gum than he can chew (his limitations are often a matter of discussion among some of the main characters), eventually involved with politics and bigger businesses, essentially suffering from delusions of grandness. He will also get to question his faith and superstitions, as well as lose more things that he loves and possibly more than he can stand. A dark hero’s journey in six episodes, this is less of a gangster epic and more of a western-like grotesque poem that although not really entertaining, always a thrill to watch.

 

The Boys - Season 3

The 3^rd season of Amazon Prime’s The Boys (2019 – present) starts with the sups returning to their old evil ways (complete with fame and corporate shame) and it is now up to the real good guys to get things back in order. Troma-style humor that includes exploding body members and a guy getting inside another person’s anus, this is a big-budget excess of grossness and toilet humor.

 

The 13^th season of Doctor Who (2005 – present) is the last one featuring Jodie Whittaker in the titular role and she goes out with a bang, as the mere 6 arc episodes are amongst the best we’ve seen so far from the series. Facing the threat of an evil force that may end the universe, the Doctor along with her remaining sidekick (Mandip Gill) need to save the world once again, while the production finds the space to throw in all of our favorite villains from past seasons.

 

The Deuce - Season 3

Set in 1985, HBO’s 3^rd (and final) season of The Deuce (2017 – 2019) is about the decline of New York’s 42^nd Street smut-peddling, drug-pushing, and trick-turning empire, detailing how the dirt was defeated by the AIDS epidemic, the transformation of the porn industry from chic films to plot-less scenes shot on videocassette, as well as the invasion of capitalism and real estate that resulted in the gentrification of the world’s greatest sewer. This is great television and my favorite series in the history of the medium, so it is a pity that it didn’t last for longer, pretty much like the story and the characters it depicts.

 

And now, please allow me a word on some recent mainstream releases…

 

Spider-Man: No Way Home

Marvel’s Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) directed by Jon Watts, has the titular superhero (Tom Holland) accidentally revealing his identity and sees the world turning against him, thinking of him as a vigilante and a threat. Spider-Man asks for the help of Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), but when he doesn’t play by the magician’s and the universe’s rules, things get even worse. An array of super-villains including the Green Goblin (William Dafoe) and Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina) target the web-slinger, but the biggest enemy he has is himself. Made on a massive $200 million budget, this is as big and epic as these things get, and it went on to gross a stunning $1.8 billion, making it one of the most successful films in cinema history, and what’s more the critics and the fans alike loved it; deservedly so if I may add.

 

DC’s The Batman (2022) directed by Matt Reeves, is not an origin story per se, but we get to learn a lot about the titular superhero (the excellently cast Robert Pattison), as it is to be expected by a reboot of sorts. The main thing however is that gangsters like The Penguin (Colin Farell) and nut-jobs like The Riddler (an outstanding performance by Paul Dano) have brought chaos to Gotham city, and since the police is corrupt and controlled by the underworld, the Batman vigilante will have to take the law into his own hands, albeit with a little bit of help from the Catwoman (Zoe Kravitz). Noir-ish in its approach, and epic in its scope (and clocking at almost 3 hours long), this is an unforgettable masterpiece that will forever be cherished as one of the best superhero films ever made.

 

Morbius (2022) poster

Marvel’s Morbius (2022) directed by Daniel Espinosa, tells the tale of the titular vampire superhero (Jared Leto) and its struggle against his mean brother (Matt Smith) who is also a vampire. Putting a lot of effort into presenting its protagonist as the new poster boy for gothic fandom, this is a mediocre film that relies too much on its CGI that are not that well-done anyway.

 

Old-timer maverick director Sam Raimi, responsible for iconic horror aesthetics as well as some of superhero cinema’s greatest innovations, brings fresh air to the tired Marvel formula in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), in which the titular sorcerer supreme (returning Benedict Cumberbatch) changes universes with the frequency most people change their underwear, only to find out – once again – that his (as well as the world’s) greatest enemy is himself. Looking like exactly what it is – a canon Marvel movie directed by Sam Raimi – this brings the best of both worlds on the table and succeeds on almost every level, going as far as even scaring little kids a little bit.

 

Jurassic World Dominion

Colin Trevorrow’s Jurassic World Dominion (2022) takes the iconic 1990s franchise’s story forward (some of the original cast returns) and in a world where dinosaurs now live peacefully – and sometimes not so peacefully – amongst us and the rest of this planet’s animals, until the central evil science corporation sets up a locust pandemic that is threatening to extinguish all life. Clocking at a massive – and at times tiring – 2 hours and a half, as is the norm for most blockbusters nowadays that unleash as many character arcs as possible and then fails to tie them together, this is spectacular as expected (even the CGI are surprisingly stunning for this sort of thing) and biology students will have a field day with.

 

BJ McDonnell’s Studio 666 (2022) is about the struggle of stadium rockers Foo Fighters to find inspiration for their tenth album, until they acquire a haunted villa, resulting in the demonic possession of their lead singer (Dave Grohl, playing himself) that assists him in discovering a new musical note and writing an epic song. For a horror-comedy – a very difficult genre to find balance in – this is not very funny, nor very scary, and it even drags at times as its pacing is not its strongest asset; however, its heart is in the right place, the attempt seems sincere, and the gore effects are gruesomely entertaining, so it is not without its merits. Featuring cameos from John Carpenter (who also co-wrote the score) and Kerry King (from Slayer).

 

Netflix’s feature-length true crime documentary Girl in the Picture (2022) directed by Skye Borgman, is looking at the mystery behind a – you guessed it – girl in a picture that was taken with the man that pretended to be her father, ended up marrying her, pimping her to a strip club, and eventually killing her. But who was she, and what was her real name? For such a rich and captivating story, the documentary is not as strong as it could be, but it is still a more than a worthy addition to the annals of the genre.

 

Minions: The Rise of Gru

Illumination Entertainment’s Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) are about the rise of the titular villain (voiced by Steve Carell) with the help of the beloved minions, and for such a late addition to the franchise it is surprisingly strong and funny. Featuring voice acting by Julie Andrews, Michelle Yeoh, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Lucy Lawless, and Steve Coogan among others, hyper-realistic and stunning animation, as well as a bombastic soundtrack (featuring artists such as Ted Nugent and The Rolling Stones), this is a thoroughly good time.

 

And finally, this time around I enriched my bookshelf with the following additions…

 

Not as thorough or definite as it could have been (I can think of several films that could be included and were not, and a few franchises had some films tackled and others not) David J. Moore’s massive 560-pages-long coffee-table hardcover edition of The Good, the Tough & the Deadly: Action Movies & Stars, 1960s-Present (2016, Schiffer) is still a work to behold, written with a lot of passion and affection for the genre. This being a guide book, most of its hundreds of reviews consist of a total of two paragraphs (usually a synopsis and a few comments), but where the book really shines is with its numerous interviews of action stars that are informative and entertaining.

 

Katherine Coldiron’s Midnight Movie Monographs: Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) (2021, PS Publishing) at a mere 97 pages long is a tiny but highly intelligent tackling on Edward D Wood Jr.’s infamous atrocious cinema classic that manages to become what amounts to the most accurate thesis I have ever read on why we watch bad movies. Highly recommended both for fans of the director as well as anyone that is even mildly interested in theorizing about film.

 

Alan Jones’ Frightfest Guide 5: Grindhouse Movies (2021, FAB Press) is actually the author’s second volume – within the same book series – to tackle the same subject (the first volume was labeled ‘exploitation’), although this is a much more interesting outing both for widely relying on notes he wrote upon the first viewing of the films and for focusing on largely more obscure titles. Short and sweet, this is informative, entertaining, and well-illustrated in glowing color.

 

Tim Lucas’ The Man with Kaleidoscope Eyes (2022, Electric Dreamhouse, PS Publishing) is the novelization of the same-titled unproduced screenplay that the renowned film critic co-authored (heralded as one of the greatest movies never made) and it takes a deep but entertaining dive into the making of The Trip, one of Roger Corman’s finest pictures and a 1960s milestone. Based on interviews the author had conducted over the years with several key people involved, this is truer than fiction, but most importantly it is masterful storytelling and a very special treat for us, Corman super-fans.

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Static Age #7

Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) in a frame from Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974 - 1975)

This Static Age is focusing on Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974 – 1975) which lasted for one season only and 20 episodes in total. It continues the story of the two well-known TV-movies that became a phenomenon and bears the same aesthetics. Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin, who played the same character in the movies as well) is a reporter who investigates a series of crimes or events in Chicago that may be or may be not supernatural. The only issue I have with the series is that in most episodes the conclusion is lasting for only a few seconds, and you may miss something if you blink; but that was a common thing in television series back then anyway.

The first episode, called ‘The Ripper’, is pretty much a rehash of the first film, but this should be expected as viewers that had not seen the films would have wanted a bit of familiarizing. ‘The Zombie’ is about voodoo and the resurrection of the dead, although the most jaw-dropping scene is the one in which the protagonist puts a female reporter in the trunk of his car, in order to get rid of her after the suggestion of a police officer; man, the 1970s were weird. ‘They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be…’ is a very clever episode about a series of murders of both humans and animals whose bone marrow is missing, what could possibly be the connection between those hideous crimes and a series of metal deposits thefts by an invisible force? ‘The Vampire’ is an excellent episode about a super strong female vampire. ‘The Werewolf’ is set on a ship and it is about a – you guessed it – werewolf that causes mayhem for no apparent reason; Paul Naschy would be proud. ‘Firefall’ is about the ghost of a gangster that has a taste for classical music and a series of bizarre explosions that trouble the protagonist. ‘The Devil’s Platform’ is about a dog that is involved in a political conspiracy that includes several suspicious explosions (and maybe a bit of good old-fashioned Satanism). ‘Bad Medicine’ is a really boring episode about a Native American that can turn into a crow, and the connection he may have with some stolen diamonds. ‘The Spanish Moss Murders’ is about a sleep clinic that accidentally unleashed a Cajun monster that lurks in Chicago’s wells. ‘The Energy Eater’ is about the eponymous ghost that feeds on the energy of a hospital that was built upon its grave. ‘Horror in the Heights’ is about swastikas that mysteriously appeared in the walls of a Jewish neighborhood, while its streets are terrorized by a demon that can be transformed into your most-trusted person. ‘Mr. R.I.N.G.’ is about an A.I. anthropomorphic robot that is malfunctioning and quite accidentally kills people. ‘Primal Scream’ is about an ape that goes into a killing spree. ‘The Trevi Collection’ is about a series of murders that are happening in the fashion world (it was so fashionable back then anyway) that may be connected to witchcraft. ‘Chopper’ is about a headless biker ghost that is beheading its victims with a sword! ‘Demon in Lace’ is a particularly scary episode about a succubus. ‘Legacy of Terror’ is about a bunch of Aztecs that remove the hearts of their victims. ‘The Knightly Murders’ is about a medieval museum that when it is about to be turned into a discothèque, a knight is resurrected and kills people. ‘The Youth Killer’ is about a lady that sacrifices people to ancient Greek gods in order to stay young and beautiful. The final episode, ‘The Sentry’, is one of the best, and it is about a human-sized reptile monster that is killing construction workers in a miles-long underground tunnel site.

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent shows…

Black Mirror - Season 5

The 5^th season of renowned British series Black Mirror (2011 – ongoing) consists of 3 masterful episodes. ‘Striking Vipers’ is about two childhood friends that have moved on with their lives, until they meet again within an updated version of their favorite video game, in which instead of fighting they discover their sexuality, that is being gay and having an attraction for each other. ‘Smithereens’ is about a bitter man (that is high in intelligence and low on income), that kidnaps a man, but it will take a while for the authorities to figure out his motives. ‘Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too’ is about pop star Ashley O (the gorgeous, real-life pop star Miley Cyrus) and her evil aunt that controls her life and career via the aid of pills and manipulation, but it is also about fandom and how it can save the people it worships. Highly recommended.

Genny Savastano (Salvatore Esposito) in Gomorrah

The 4^th season of Gomorrah (2014 – ongoing) continues from where the last one ended, with Genny Savastano (Salvatore Esposito) mourning the death of his childhood friend Ciro and haunted by nightmares. Additionally, with pretty much all the older crime bosses dead as well, the landscape of power and control in Naples and its provinces will change, with Genny’s messenger Patrizia (Cristiana Dell’Anna) now appointed the head of his businesses, while help from the gangster’s broader family will be sought; that is, in order for the crime boss to purse more high profile projects, such as the construction of an airport and other endeavors that require influence in the Italian government. Italy’s ultra-successful series continues its drama of backstabbing and murder, proving that the illicit businessmen are no different at all to employees of a company that try to put each other down if only to merely win a little more money, and the only reason we don’t get to sympathize with the gangsters, is because we – the civilians – are as much terrible human beings as they are. Combining art-house sensibilities and the practicality of the television format, this is a unique experience that is highly recommended to all fans of the genre.

Set in a world where superheroes are a commodity, generating millions from appearing in movies and saving the world in general, the 1^st season of The Boys (2019 – ongoing) is about store clerk Hughie Campbell (Jack Quaid) who lost the love of his life by one of the costume-wearing freaks. He is approached by mystery man and overall tough guy Billy Butcher (Karl Urban) who wants to take down the Supes and have them pay for all the collateral damage they cause and expose the life of excess that they live in secret. After so much superhero mythology from Marvel and DC and the billions they made for the film industry, it was inevitable that something like this would get made, namely a high profile comedy with glorious special effects and splatter. What’s more, the soundtrack employs classics such as ‘Neat, Neat, Neat’ by The Damned, and ‘Cherry Bomb’ by The Runaways. It is fun, and maybe more so than many of the myriad brand superhero series that are out there right now. Simon Pegg plays the protagonist’s father.

Iron Fist - Season 2

Set in New York, the 2^nd (and thankfully final) season of Marvel’s Iron Fist (2017 – 2018) is only barely better than the previous one and it finds the eponymous superhero, battling Chinese organized criminals, as well as the scum that have taken over his father’s company, while employing martial arts and his superpowers. The main arch villain is Davos (Sacha Dhawan), essentially another iron fisted (a double one at that) warrior with whom the protagonist was affiliated in the past. A strong contester for becoming Netflix worst series ever.

In the 5^th season of Peaky Blinders (2013 – ongoing) the titular gang’s head, Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphy) doubts himself in regards of his power and control, and goes as far as having suicidal thoughts. Taking place amidst the Wall Street Clash and the impact this has, the Black Country criminals get involved with politics (taking a socialist stance in particular, of all things), but their problems come in the form of Billy Boys, a Scottish gang of criminals that is known for backing up fascists, as well as putting their dead enemies on a cross. The series, taking the approach that tells us that the other gangsters are worse than the protagonist ones creates the expected interesting dramaturgy, but not much else. So, will the good bad guys win the baddie bad guys this time around? On a final note, the soundtrack is excellent as always, and aside of the title song (Nick Cave and the Bad Seed’s ‘Red Right Hand’), it also includes Black Sabbath’s ‘Planet Caravan’.

And finally, please allow me to speak a word or two about some recent mainstream films…

Dark Phoenix (2019)

Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) develops unmatchable powers and becomes the titular menace in Marvel’s Dark Phoenix (2019), and it is now up to the X-Men, and Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) in particular, to control her before she becomes a greater danger to herself and others. This is nowhere near as bad as mainstream reviewers wanted you to believe it is, and it is quite unfair that it didn’t do well at the box-office (it grossed $252.4 million, on a $200 million budget), because in reality it is an excellent superhero drama that is very often enjoyable too. Sure, the special effects are the standard stuff you expect from this sort of thing and they had me thinking that they could have been achieved by any of Marvel’s TV series on half the budget the present film had, but what we have here is still above average.

Distributed by Blumhouse, The Gallows (2015) is awful, but clocking at 80 minutes (including end credits) it is short enough to not become a torturous experience. An introductory video lets us know that during a school play in 1993 tragedy ensued leaving one actor hanged. Fast forward to the present day (i.e. 2013), a bunch of students of the same school attempt to perform the same stage-play, and as it is to be expected by such fare, the consequences will be deadly. This employs the dreadful ‘found footage’ format, which is fine for 1 minute long Instagram videos (especially when the subject matter is cute cats or funny dogs), but it is simply way too boring when it is stretched to feature length. I really don’t understand how this blending of conventional narrative with amateur video aesthetics could appeal to anybody, but what do I know, as the film grossed $43 million on a $100,000 budget, which means that – you guessed it – a sequel is in the works. Maybe the best thing about it is the validation that happy endings are now passé.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)

A sequel to the same-titled film 2012, Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019) is set twenty years later and after the near extinction of human kind which resulted to the inhabitation of a base in the moon that was previously under Nazi ownership. If you find plots about evil Nazis that were secretly refuging in the dark side of the moon (and why should you not, if you tend to like fare that is similar to the usual SyFy material), you may like this, but I couldn’t help myself thinking that all this massive budget (17 million euros – the film does indeed look like a super-production) was wasted on crap like this. The best thing about it is Udo Kier, playing once again a German.

Happily married couple of successful professionals Scott (Michael Ealy) and Annie (Meagan Good) buy a house from Charlie Peck (Dennis Quaid), in The Intruder (2019), but the problem is that the seller has a sketchy past and will not let go of his house at any cost, even if this means murder. Although it is actually well-cast, this standard thriller is laughable at times (the plot is often unbelievable) and the end result is nearly unwatchable.

Ma (2019) poster

The titular middle-aged lady (Octavia Spencer) in Blumhouse Productions’ Ma (2019) lures a bunch of teenagers from the local high school to party at her house, but it soon becomes apparent that her motives are not that innocent. Inducting discussion about bullying and its consequences as well as being left out and the desire to fit in, this horror film is both intelligent and entertaining. Plus it stars Diana Silvers (quite possibly her generation’s cutest girl) and Juliette Lewis (actually her generation’s hottest woman). Made on a modest budget of $5 million, this proved a winner at the box-office as it went on to gross $60.6 million.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) poster

The titular superhero (Tom Holland, excellently cast, despite complaints by many fans) of Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) travels to Europe, where he will fight with (at first) and against (finally) Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal), assisted of course by the ever-knowledgeable Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). This is tedious at times (at over 2 hours long it is oftentimes boring) but the fights are Marvel-ous and they feature the best CGI money can buy, which only makes sense when your budget is $160 million.

Crawl (2019) poster

Ultimately though, the coolest film of the year is Crawl (2019), which is set in Florida, amidst a Category 5 hurricane. The story is focusing on Haley (a very gorgeous Kaya Scodelario), who ignores the police’s orders and goes on a mission to save her estranged father Dave (Barry Pepper); the duo will join forces in order to fight against the many hungry alligators. Produced by Alexandre Aja (who also directed), Sam Raimi (no introduction needed), and Craig J. Flores, this is expectedly full of impressive visuals, but what was not expected was that a little ‘nature attacks’ horror flick that cost $13.5 million to make, would gross $88.5 million! If you fancy crocodile movies, you really can’t find anything better these days, and the crocodiles do indeed look amazing here.

There really is no plot to speak of in writer/director Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood (2019), which is essentially a movie about 1969 (a setting) and not much else. However, the cast is great (Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern, Al Pacino, Michael Madsen, and so many others) and the overall aesthetics employed are so pleasing, that you can’t take your eyes of it for its two and a half hours. The ending is bananas as well.

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Static Age #3

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Static Age’s third installment! You have asked me how I decide what shows go to the spotlight and which ones do not. For a TV series to go to the Static Age’s spotlight, it must have aired before the current millennium (i.e. pre-2000) and all of its seasons are reviewed. And the recent shows’ division is all about what I consider to be the golden age of television (i.e. post-2000) while only one season at the time is reviewed. The golden rule though is that all shows capsule-reviewed in Static Age are of first-watch variety only. No re-watching business here. Makes sense?

The Langoliers (2005) DVD box art.

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to The Langoliers (2005), a two feature-length (90 minutes each) episodes television special, in which all passengers of an aircraft disappear, apart from a few that get stranded in a seemingly abandoned airport full of mysteries. Based upon a novel by Stephen King (as was so often with those TV horror specials back then) by Tom Holland (who also directed, and for whom no introduction is needed), this scared the bejesus of many kids who caught it when it was first aired in the mid-1990s, but it hasn’t dated too well, and its special effects are unable to elevate above the SyFy-level bar. Still, it is genuinely creepy at times, so you might want to check it out if you like this sort of thing.

I also caught up with the following recent shows…

The 1^st season of The Returned (2015) created by Carlton Cuse kicks off with a road accident involving a school-bus full of children that of course die. A few years later, and while their parents and the community mourn, the kids keep on showing up alive and well. More of a drama rather than a full-on horror series (the returning kids are not quite your usual undead), this is the U.S. remake of the same titled French series that I previously covered in this very column. It is suffering from a very slow tempo and an unnecessarily moody atmosphere, but a serial killer targeting members of the community livens things up a bit. It was cancelled after this initial season. The French version had a better cast.

In the 4^th season of Peaky Blinders (2013 – present) the same-named Birmingham gang led by Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphy) is now broken apart and has left its criminal past behind. That is until a revenge from the past will come knocking on their door and will find them against the Sicilian mafia of Italy and New York.

Wolf Creek - Season 2 BD box art.

A group of tourists go on a tour of Australia, when their bus is hijacked by local serial killer Mick Taylor (John Jarratt) in the highly entertaining and quite addictive 2nd season of Wolf Creek (2016 – present), which is easily the best series to ever come from Down Under by keeping things local but also bearing a universal horror sensibility. It is also of great help that pretty much all characters are well-developed and sympathetic, so you actually get to care about them. Finally, the last couple of episodes feel entirely different from the rest of the series, mainly due to the change of settings.

In the 2^nd season of creator Aaron Martin’s Slasher (2016 – present) a bunch of reckless teenagers end up killing a girl and hiding her body in the woods. Five years later they return to the scene of the crime in order to hide evidence, but somebody seems to know their secret, whilst offing people left, right, and center. A thousand times better than the first season, this is entertaining as hell. The editing goes back and forth in time, but the information given is really simple to process, so this doesn’t become distracting. All episodes directed by Felipe Rodriguez.

Channel Zero - Season 2 DVD box art.

Executive produced by Max Landis and with supervising producer Don Mancini onboard, the 2^nd season of Channel Zero (2016 – present) is about a group of college students that enter the no-end house, in which six rooms cruelly await with bad intentions for their fate. Creepy as usual, and featuring an array of impressive one-shots, this one should not be missed.

The 2^nd season of Black Mirror (2011 – present) is strong, stressful, and horrific in its exploration of the dangers of the new technology-depended world. It continues its anthology format and it is offering 4 episodes/stories. ‘Be Right Back’ is one of the best episodes and it is about a gorgeous young woman, Martha (Hayley Atwell) who just lost her boyfriend, Ash (Domhnall Gleeson), and tries to cure her mourning by signing up to an application that gathers data from the deceased’s online presence over the years and creates a bot that mimics him. ‘White Bear’ is a really terrifying episode about which one can’t say too much without spoiling it, so I’ll leave it for you to see it. ‘The Waldo Moment’ is a masterpiece of an episode, featuring the titular cartoon character which frighteningly becomes a huge political phenomenon and a multimedia franchise. The season finale, ‘White Christmas’ is somewhat of an anthology piece, and its format doesn’t work, nor does its lengthy running time, and it is a big contender for being the series’ worst episode yet.

Doctor Who - Season 2 BD box art.

The 2^nd season of Doctor Who (2005 – present) sees the increasingly gorgeous Billie Piper returning in the role of Rose Tyler, whilst the role of the titular alien hero is now played by David Tennant who is the best of the recent Doctors, and one of the best in general too. The duo will embark to several adventures that range from plain fantasy to escapist horror, all in good British manner.

The 1^st season of DC’s Birds of Prey (2002 – 2003) is set in a futuristic Gotham (yes, more futuristic than usual), when Batman has hung his cape, and his work is now continued by the titular superheroes, namely Black Canary (Lori Loughlin), Oracle (Dina Meyer), and The Huntress (Ashley Scott, always happy to show us her sexy belly). Developed by Laeta Kalogridis (her debut, before undertaking several more successful mainstream projects), this is as boring as they come, and it was cancelled after this initial season. The season finale is spectacular, and the employment of Tatu’s ‘All the Things See Said’ works miracles, but it’s still too little, too late.

But I also caught up with some mainstream films as well…

Aquaman (2018) R1 BD box art.

Each time I convince myself to check out the new multi-million dollar extravaganza, I realize why I try to avoid those in general. This time I was bored by DC’s Aquaman (2018) directed by James Wan, which is so bad that the less said about it the better.

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Russian cop Ivan Danko who finds himself in Chicago, on the trail of a Georgian criminal (Ed O’Ross), in director Walter Hill’s Red Heat (1988), which comes with breathtaking action (shootouts, fistfights, car crashes, and whatnot), exceptional one-liners (Danko is particularly funny when he explains that Russians deal stress with vodka), and overall 1980s action awesomeness.

Set in 1987, director Travis Knight’s Bumblebee (2018) is about the titular robot that lands in California and finds solace at the company of troubled teenager Charlie (the gorgeous Hailee Steinfeld), until their peace is disturbed by the arrival of a duo of evil robots. This was unexpectedly fun (if I dare to say so, even more than the other Transformers flicks), what with the 1980s hard rock nostalgia and VHS tapes, but I’ll probably forget all about it by the time this article is published.

Bumblebee (2018) R1 BD box art.

The Banks family is about to get evicted when Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) comes to the rescue in Rob Marshall’s Mary Poppins Returns (2018) which is this year’s ultimate feel-good movie. There is singing and dancing of course, but it’s all about the costumes here. You will be amazed.

Jeff Tremaine’s The Dirt (2019) is about Motley Crue, a band whose music made them famous, and whose life made them infamous. Based upon the band’s same-titled collected autobiography, this may be era specific (from their rise on Sunset Strip, to the world takeover, to breaking up and reuniting for the first time), but the filmmakers couldn’t have done things differently, unless they wanted their film to be ten hours long. Yes, Motley Crue’s antics were many, and the film manages to navigate us through the most important ones. But aside the endless partying and groupies galore (a series of gags result in many laughs and a good time overall), this biopic is full of rich character development, about a gang (yes, they mostly resemble a gang, rather than a band) that took it to the top. And for us, the fans of their songs and their legacy, this is an invaluable film for which we are thankful. Well done!

And finally I enriched my bookshelf with the following additions…

20 years in the making, John Szpunar’s Blood Sucking Freak: The Life and Films of the Incredible Joel M. Reed (2018, Headpress) is about the legendary exploitation filmmaker. By combining interviews with him and several people that have worked with him, or were just casual New York characters, the book becomes an excellent oral history of a time gone by and greatly missed. Aside from the several amazing stories that we get to read about, the author also sat down with his subject and watched all of his films, providing commentary for each one of them. The filmmaker comes across as a dirty old man, and I am saying this in the best possible way, as this is the sort of characters we missed from New York’s 42^nd Street heyday. Be warned though, that this is not a book for someone to be induced to exploitation film history, as the author is targeting mostly people in the know, and wastes no time for needless introductions for several genre film legends. Do yourself a favor, and buy this immediately.

Roberto Curti’s Tonino Valerii: The Films (2016, McFarland), is about the films the eponymous auteur has made during his career that spanned 40 years but was never prolific, opting for quality rather than quantity, a rare feat back in the day in Italy’s genre celluloid landscape. Valerii is better known for his western masterpieces (at least among those of us whose knowledge of the genre goes beyond the two Sergios), but he also tried his hand on other genres, including a very successful stint at a giallo. The book is well-structured, and takes us through a film-by-film journey, in which no stone is left unturned, as the author analyzes and gets to speak with the filmmaker. What’s more, the book also includes a thoughtful afterword by Ernesto Gastaldi, and about a dozen more interviews with people that have worked with Valerii, including Bud Spencer and Franco Nero. All in all, another excellent addition to Curti’s bibliography, and a treasure for genre movie fans and scholars alike.

Part autobiography and part history of pornography, Robert Rosen’s Beaver Street: A History of Modern Pornography (2010, Headpress) takes through the author’s real-life journey into the magical world of smut as he writes about pretty much everything from the rise of the phone sex lines to the Traci Lords scandal and a lot of other things. The author used to edit several porn magazines and therefore has seen a lot and is much too happy to share them in this book. At 214 pages is a short and easy read, but I could only wish that the text was accompanied by pictures.

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Static Age #1

Static Age (named after The Misfits’ song about television is a new column in which I will be talking to you about all sorts of genre television.) Each installment will start with its spotlight in some classic or not-so classic title that doesn’t get the love it deserves and I had neglected seeing so far. Then we’ll proceed on discussing more recent shows. And in the end, we’ll be chatting about all sorts of random stuff, from mainstream film to film books. I hope you enjoy!

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to the 1^st (and only) season of RoboCop: Prime Detectives (2000) which is essentially four one hour and a half movies, and whilst their satire is welcome, its predictions did not prove very accurate, while the special effects have not aged very well. Often, the soundtrack is reminiscent of westerns. However, it contains a lot of action and it is much better than what people have told you.

I also managed to catch up with the following recent shows…

The 2^nd season of Peaky Blinders (2013 – present) find the same-named Birmingham gang and its leader Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphy) coming up against with “bigger fish” as their reputation reaches London.

The 1^st season of Narcos (2015 – present) is about the real-life story of infamous smuggler Pablo Escobar (played here in excellence by Wagner Moura) who used to make a lot of money smuggling a variety of goods, but really made millions when he started exporting cocaine from Columbia to the United States of America. I am a scholar of the real-life case of Escobar, and rarely have I seen a TV show being so true to the facts (real news photos and videos from the era are employed as well, making for a peculiar blend) while also remaining very entertaining.