Movie Review: Porn Shoot Massacre (2008, Lost Empire Films)

...ya' know?? This viewer truly misses the bygone days of the mid-'80's, to the early '90's, at which time, mail order ad blocks, exploitatively detailing exclusive, micro-budgeted, and independently-produced VHS-formatted horror gems, could be found inconspicuously dotted amidst the other advertisements and articles, in various genre magazines. For a mere 20-spot, on the average, some of the most unique...touch and go, as far as good or bad...titles were rendered available, in this venue...with such offerings, disappearing as quickly as they appeared...and in acquiring these exclusive titles...typically produced by eager fledgling filmmakers, who manage to gather a plethora of friends together, for a bit of fun in grinding out a cheapie...one could proudly engage conversation, in claiming to be the only one within miles, to genuinely have such titles. Titles, such as "555", "Color Me Blood Red...Again", "Splatter: Architects of Fear", the infamous pornographic 'gore' trilogy (..."Gorgasm", "Gorotica" and "Gore Whore"), "Unnaturally Born Killer" and "Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell" (...and yes, this viewer proudly possesses all of these), amongst countless others, were shuffled in with micro-production company titles, from folks like 'Brain Damage Films', 'Tempe Video' & "E.I. Entertainment, and surprisingly enough, many of these obscure horror indies bore enough greater style, imagination, creativity, attitude and ambition, to counter even genre titles produced by the much larger production studios. Yep, such exclusive acquisition days are in the past; however, thanks to the 'net, such eager sophomore genre efforts have proven somewhat more readily available, nowadays, but elatedly, the attitude, style and sense of ambition remain unchanged constants. Considering all that, one might well relish a trist of nostalgic deja-vu, in that respect, with the amusing and oh-so cheesy 2008 softcore horror/comedy effort, "Porn Shoot Massacre"...

Movie Review: Zombie Ex's (2013, Northern Fabulous/Bloody Earth Films)

 ...nope...nope...not this viewer, thank you very much...nope...not gonna do it...nope...not gonna do it, dammit, says this viewer!! Not gonna go into another droning and repetitive rant about yet another new zombie comedy, amidst the countless zombie comedies already gracing the horror genre wasteland. Nope. Not gonna reflect back upon bygone humble beginnings, what horror sub-genre has since been wrought, as the result of some little 1968 presumably classic zombie flick, by some dude...maybe you've heard of him...some dude named Romero, or something like that, I think. Oh hell, no. Not gonna shovel out the typical ya-da-da ya-da-da ya-da-da about a new zombie flick that once again establishes & revels the 'basic rules' of the zombie genre, storywise (...i.e., being reanimated flesh-eaters, needing to shoot them in the head, etc.), and yet, tries to turn the genre on it's head, by humorously gives the expected proceedings, a supposedly fresh twist, or some underliningly social satire. And it's a shame that this viewer isn't gonna do all that, 'cause such oft-visited, nostalgic reflection of this beaten and well worn horror genre would still make for a reasonable and much greater measure of insight and relevation, than the adequate, though pretty much shoulder-shrugging, ho-hum offerings afforded the hapless viewer of the 2013 horror comedy, "Zombie Ex's"...

Movie Review: "Cockneys vs. Zombies" (2012, Bishop Rock Films Limited/Scream Factory)

...the cross-melding of movie genres and situations, if one really considers it, it very much like dating; in the onset, there might be an alluring amount of initial novelty to the pairing, but unless there's good chemistry between the seemingly ideal, albeit possibly unconventional match...well, the melding might be hard-pressed to adhere and work. However, when that good and amiable chemistry does take place, it often amusingly turns the associated genres and situations on their ear, and becomes a matter of the sum of the parts being very much greater than the singular parts themselves. Nothing could be closer to the truth, when it comes to playing the genre-matching 'what if' game with zombie movies. Zombie comedies...zombie romances...zombie westerns...zombie babies...zombie surfers...zombie chickens...vegan zombies...zombies vs. vampires...zombies vs. strippers...zombies at Christmas...zombies vs. Lincoln...and so on. One might ask, what hasn't been explored?? Once again, as this viewer has pointed before, it remains enlightening that each and every time one has coined the 'zombie' genre tired, worn out, shot in the head, dead and buried, someone manages to breath new, undead life into the cinematic living dead. And with the outrageously irreverent and zany 2012 zombie comedy, "Cockneys vs. Zombies", this time it's the working class 'everyman', as well as the surprisingly able-bodied geriatric, who take on the living dead...with an approach and attitude, which might just seem inspirationally familiar, in a surprisingly refreshing way, to those closely privy and devoted to the genre...

Movie Review: "Dead Before Dawn 3D" (2012, Wango Films)

...oh, how this viewer misses the good ol' days of late-night cable TV...that bygone era of wildly eclectic, after-hours television broadcasting cache of movies 'til dawn, which generously stretched from the stroke of midnight, up to the crack of dawn, on Friday and Saturday nights. Y'all remember those times, right?? An out-of-control, rable-rousing night of partying, culminating into a quiet, deadened and lethargic evening in someone's darkened living room, wherever the party might have been, that night (...now, now...you have your familiar post-party drunken scenario, I've got mine...if you please, just read on, OK??). If you weren't lucky enough to pair up with someone cuddly, in one of the assorted house-party bedrooms...and had not yet passed out from the varied and undescriptive alcoholic concoctions, which were being liberally passed around...you and whoever might have also been conscious at the time, probably found yourself on a beaten, battered and smelly living room couch, surrounded by the 'corpses' of passed-out partiers, with nothing but the cathode tube glow of the television, emitting a flickered eerie light, all about. Nursing a warm, half-bottle of...of whatever was closest, picking up the remote, and giving it the old 'click, click, click', you scan the channels, until...whoa!! Yeah!! USA Up All Night!!! Now, we're talking!!! Horror Flicks...Teen Sex Romps...Boobies...Dim-Witted, Monster Hunting Teens...Slimy Sci-Fi Space Junkies...More Boobies...Action-Filled Atrocities...And More Boobies...The Cheesiest of the Cheesiest B-Flicks Ever Made...with occasional, sometimes groan-inducing, sometimes genuinely knee-slapping commentary by...depending upon the night...Rhonda Shear or Gilbert Gottfried. Those movies...oh, those movies...titles like "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-rama", "The Pink Chiquitas", "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death", "Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space", "Chopper Chicks in Zombietown", and countless others ; clearly, only a certain breed of film genuinely qualified for the haplessly respectable place of being broadcast on USA Up All Night...some of which proudly...or shall we say 'shamelessly' wore badges of respectability amongst undiscriminating cult film devotees (...for myself, I remember seeing USA Channel-truncated versions of "Day of the Dead", "Frankenhooker", "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" and "Basket Case"). Heck, even when trimmed for content, the hilariously scathing commentary by our illustrious hosts made up for content-restrictive editor's hand...we're talkin' the type of films that shamelessly defy criticism...that cross the line of being coined 'bad', and well into the arena of 'embraceably ludicrous'...yes, THOSE kinds of films...films like...well.....

Movie Review: Motel Hell (1980, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Motel Hell o man you got to love this flick! How many films featuring two playboy playmates, a dueling chainsaw fights and a “secret garden” filled with peeps who are buried up to their heads in dirt. Just waiting to be “smoked” and turned into cured meats. Throw in some swingers and a rock band to while your at it and you got a delicious little recipe for a fun black comedy. It's certainly not a straight up horror film, Motel Hell keeps a strong stream of dark humor flowing through the proceedings.

 In tone I'd almost compare the film to Paul Bartel/Mary Woronov classic “Eating Raoul” with a bit of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre thrown in for good measure. Interestingly enough Tobe Hooper was the first choice to direct this film but eventually dropped out. One would have to guess that Hooper might have upped the gore but director Conner's keeps the gore down instead serving up some delectable pitch black humor.