Movie Review: "Screams of a Winter Night" (1979; Full Moon Pictures/Dimension Pictures/Code Red)

…ah, yes…having recalled ever so fondly, it was a starry, crisp and brisk Friday the 13^th evening, when back in ’79, this budding film collector/reviewer (…then, a snot-nosed sophomore in high school…and yes, doing my very first movie reviews for the school newspaper, at the time) and his jaunty, rag-tag band of school chums, jam-packed ourselves into a weathered rag-top Jeep Renegade, and barreled down the road to the northern parts of downtown Pasadena, right smack dab in the greater San Gabriel Valley area…the destination?? The slick, brand new, freshly carpeted hole-in-the-wall Mann’s Hastings multi-plex theater therein, just up a suburbia-fettered hill, on the darkened outskirts of the town’s street-lit main drag. You see, we were unanimously dedicated to that particular theater, on this fine summer evening, especially after having been privy, for nearly a week previous, of an irresistibly creepy little TV broadcast movie trailer, advertising an obscure, lil’ under-the-radar horror flick, alluringly called “Screams of a Winter’s Night”…

Movie Review: SHHHH (2018)

I understand the appeal of horror and comedy mashing it up. I also understand the absolute HATRED of the mixed genre, because it’s either very good or fucking awful. I’m gonna have to go with the latter for my review of this flick.

SHHHH stars James Henderson as Harris, a struggling film maker in Los Angeles (how original and unexpected.) While trying to make ends meet with his job at a crappy video store—do those still exist?—he spends most of his spare time, when not making movies, with his mom at the theater. They love to go see films together, even lesbian vampires feeling each other up and licking each other’s nipples. And while they do have fun, there’s always some asshole ruining the experience: the food wrapper crinkler, the guy on his phone the whole time, the talkers, the super tall people who sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU despite all the other empty seats...it’s enough to drive Harris to murder.

Movie Review: Hold Your Breath (2012)

Someone needs to improve this Invisalign design that allows the wearer to drink alcohol while they’re in…

Hold Your Breath opens with a flashback in 1956 where the preacher-turned-serial killer (huh?) is about to be executed. Dietrich Van Klaus (evil German…how original) blathers on with some bullshit exposition from the Bible, gouges out his own eye, kills a guard, then they finally strap him down and throw the switch. 

*yawn* Edward DeLacroix’s death was much worse. Just saying.

We move on to the present day where a group of twenty-somethings are getting together for a camping weekend. (and OMG the girls are like soooo annoying. Like HIIIIIII!!) On the way to the campsite they pass a graveyard and Jerry (the blonde annoying girl) freaks the fuck out trying to get everyone to hold their breaths as the car passes because OMG THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET POSSESSED. GAAAAWD!

Movie Review: "Circus of the Dead" (2014; Bloody Bill Productions)

...at a young age, nearly all of us are bombarded by sugar & spice fables...the things that jostled the imagination, to a world of wonder...a world of magic and fantasy...a world of laughter...the countless candy-coated 'happily ever after' fairy tales...the patron saints of magic, generosity, kindness and giddy mirth...the egg-hiding Easter bunnies, and the North Pole-dwelling Santa Claus...and of course, the clowns...oh yes, the clowns...those giggly, pasty-faced, horn-tooting, floppy shoed, wacky purveyors of mirth and laughter. And as youngsters, we buy into it all...lock, stock and barrel, without a smidgen of disbelief, or consideration that they just might be something diabolical, beneath the fabricated fantasy folds...

...and when we all grow up, that all abruptly changes; Santa becomes a clichéd symbol of generosity and yuletide spirit...the Easter Bunny, now representative of purity and fertility...the fairy tales, still fantasy tales to be told and read, but in truth, far, far darker in original inception, than the sugar-coated renditions, read to us as children, or gleefully animated onto the screen by Disney. And the clowns?? Oh yes, leave us not forget the clowns. Those so-called 'giggly, pasty-faced, horn-tooting, floppy shoed, wacky purveyors of mirth and laughter'...alas, a resigned deception,. at times...possibly hiding a sadness, beneath the painted smile and the wacky antics...maybe even something criminal, giving underlining and paranoiac cause for distrust, dislike and a slew of unspoken closet coulrophobics. And sometimes, harboring a much darker purpose...something sinister...diabolical...evil...even downright @#$%ing insane!!...

Movie Review: Begotten (1990; World Artists)

...for the most part, it's an ever-constant social stigma, that people often take things out of context, when afforded a limited view of things. With little exception, scrounging opportunist lawyers and politicians shamelessly exploit that very concept, in an effort to champion their own causes. Sure enough, the media itself zeroes in on the dirt and the grime, associated with people, places and things, giving false, or at the very least, mixed views on matters, even though the full view of matters might tell a different story...which probably explains why tabloid newspaper have been and remain, a billion dollar industry; after all, truth be known, people love the dirt...flourish on the bad news...and are pretty much indifferent to untainted normalcy (...come on, let's be honest, 'kay??). Heck, without the idea of taking things out of context...seeing only a small part of the picture, and imposing judgement...making conclusions, without looking at the big picture...like scrutinizing and criticizing framed fine art on the wall, based solely on the singular, unmoving view through an empty paper towel cardboard roll...the classic TV broadcast comedy-of-errors sitcom "Three's Company" wouldn't have lasted...what, eight seasons, was it??...

...anyone who's ever been privy of the surreal and experimental film, "Begotten", or even merely eyeballed the strikingly graphic and interpretively symbolic cover art of the limited digital release of the film, as shown here...at this point...are throwing their hands in the air, rolling their eyes, and letting out one of those exasperating 'tsk-sighs'. Really?? Comparing a beyond-bizarre-and-unconventional film, like "Begotten", with the adolescent-humor-level, playfully innuendo-teasing, comical renderings of "Three's Company"?? Really?? I mean...really?? Well, yeah...and that's OK. What those unbeknownst, who haven't had the unique and...well, 'pleasurable' and 'displeasurable' is totally at the discretion of the viewer...experience of unwittingly seeing "Begotten", need to understand, before diving into this shocking and mind-scrambling fray...or like this viewer, who was introduced to the film, via a mere unnamed 30-second-plus moment...a wayward, horrific-looking clip, sandwiched amongst others, and posted on one of the countless horror-themed social media pages...not unlike being afforded a horse-blinder's limited view of something specifically monikered, and yet, when taking it all in...for good, or perhaps for not-so-good...might be construed as being something totally different...or at least, more than a bit skewed...

Movie Review: The Cemetery (2014; Massacre Video)

...ya know?? One of the biggest problems with being a respectably seasoned, knowledgeable and well-rounded horror genre aficionado (...in truth, I can't admit to have seen everything...and I do relish the occasional surprise, in having finally gotten around in catching something, which I've either ignored, or something that has just merely gotten by me...both instances, for whatever reason...but eh, I feel that I've seen enough to justify respectable commentary)...exuding and giving proper credit to everything seen over the years, from the golden age of silent cinema, to today's big screen offerings, as well as the often-ignored and under-appreciated independent productions, produced nowadays...is that this viewer, often times, finds himself quite torn. Torn, with respects to genre filmmakers, who borrow and tinker with previously used, albeit proven sure-fire ideas, throw them into their own perspective pots, along with a smidgen of ideas of their own, stir vigorously, and proudly...perhaps even shamelessly serve up something 'uniquely homage', for lack of a better term. Hell, Quentin Tarantino's been doing that for years, and for the most part, has been quite successful at it, for those who's been keeping up...

Movie Review: What Richard Did (2012: Element Pictures/Tribeca Film)

...oh, those pesky, albeit invariable and inescapable life decisions; with spectrum-wide variance, they have the ability to merely move us through the day, and they have the profound effect of affecting our lives...our very destiny, years to come. The waking hours.....Should I have the cinnamon toast, or the Frooty Pebbles.....Sniff, sniff!! Whoa!! Better shower before I go. Gonna ask for that raise, today.....Hey, you moron!! Pick a lane, would ya'? I'm drivin', here, I'm drivin' here, I'm...Whoa!! Almost hit that pedestrian; that was close, whew.....Yeaaaa!! Won the election. Time to make those changes, which I promised the people...especially for the people that pay me the most.....Will she say yes?? Will she say no?? Oh God, if she says no, I might just have to kill myself.....Let's see, the bottle says 'wash, rinse and repeat'. Wash, rinse, repeat...wash, rinse, repeat...Uh oh, I'm balding back there. Time to call Hair Club for Men.....OK, doors and windows locked for the night, children tucked safely in their beds, alarm clock set for 6:00. Time for bed...Good night sweetheart...Smooch, and ZZZZZZZZ!!!

...and as much as we'd adhere to...or at least, claim to adhere to a level of control, when it comes to our feelings and emotions...well, let's just say that those self-same feelings and emotions are often times running the show, and as such, are...for the most part...in the driver's seat, when it comes to our making the decisions that affect our lives. Good. Bad. Scary. Elating and Satisfying. Effectual, for the moment. And yes, even Life-Changing. And again...yes, there's the desire to maintain a measure of control, when it comes to how our feelings and emotions affect our decisions making; but let's face it: there are moments where those feeling and emotions do get out of control, and...good or bad, like it or not...we have to deal with the repercussions and end result of those situations. In the end, it's how we deal with those decisions, and the resulting outcome, which makes each of us, the kind of person we are...

Movie Review: Porn Shoot Massacre (2008, Lost Empire Films)

...ya' know?? This viewer truly misses the bygone days of the mid-'80's, to the early '90's, at which time, mail order ad blocks, exploitatively detailing exclusive, micro-budgeted, and independently-produced VHS-formatted horror gems, could be found inconspicuously dotted amidst the other advertisements and articles, in various genre magazines. For a mere 20-spot, on the average, some of the most unique...touch and go, as far as good or bad...titles were rendered available, in this venue...with such offerings, disappearing as quickly as they appeared...and in acquiring these exclusive titles...typically produced by eager fledgling filmmakers, who manage to gather a plethora of friends together, for a bit of fun in grinding out a cheapie...one could proudly engage conversation, in claiming to be the only one within miles, to genuinely have such titles. Titles, such as "555", "Color Me Blood Red...Again", "Splatter: Architects of Fear", the infamous pornographic 'gore' trilogy (..."Gorgasm", "Gorotica" and "Gore Whore"), "Unnaturally Born Killer" and "Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell" (...and yes, this viewer proudly possesses all of these), amongst countless others, were shuffled in with micro-production company titles, from folks like 'Brain Damage Films', 'Tempe Video' & "E.I. Entertainment, and surprisingly enough, many of these obscure horror indies bore enough greater style, imagination, creativity, attitude and ambition, to counter even genre titles produced by the much larger production studios. Yep, such exclusive acquisition days are in the past; however, thanks to the 'net, such eager sophomore genre efforts have proven somewhat more readily available, nowadays, but elatedly, the attitude, style and sense of ambition remain unchanged constants. Considering all that, one might well relish a trist of nostalgic deja-vu, in that respect, with the amusing and oh-so cheesy 2008 softcore horror/comedy effort, "Porn Shoot Massacre"...

Movie Review: Scumbag Hustler (2014; Full Circle Filmworks)

...from a filmmaker's point of view, one might imagine that going into films that spotlight drug addiction (...or any type of addiction, for that matter), and stirring in a measure of comedy, in the midst of the film character's catering to, or dealing with the addiction, is a fairly tricky tightrope to transgress. The balance has to be amiable; indeed, one doesn't want to patronize the viewers, in exploiting the addiction facet, to the point where one is basically saying, in a 'politically incorrect' way (...damn, I hate that term), 'hey, lookie here...join the party; this is the in thing to do!' And yet, with too much comedy inter-spliced...in a slapstick sort of way, ironically enough, the same thing seems to happen. Fortunately, for the most part, the lead dudes behind the camera, as well as the hungry, scribbling writers, have for the most part, genuinely managed to assume that proper balance (...off hand, this viewer cannot recall any film, immediately to mind, that otherwise doesn't do this), making that tightrope seem as easy to trod upon, as if the rope itself is three feet wide, and flat. The window of range is so wide, in fact...well, for the indiscriminate, everyman 'tourists', there's the almost countless cinematic antics of Cheech & Chong, or Jay & Silent Bob. But, for the more eclectic tastes, the devoted naysayers reach for cult oddities, like Terry Gilliam's eccentric road pic "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", Gregg Araki's wacky and cartoonish "Smiley Face", David Cronenberg's macabre-flavored dark-humored & surreal "Naked Lunch", or even the recent toke of deliciousness from director Adam Mason...the wildly, albeit darkly comical "Junkie". And to that respectable lot...can we conceivably add tag-team director Sean Weathers' and Aswad Issa's newest production, "Scumbag Hustler"...a quirky and episodic, inner-city staged look at crazed desperation...and appetite never sated...and yes, addiction wildly out of control...to the point where our hapless protagonist, herein, is quite willing to...well, let's take a peek, shall we??...

Movie Review: Caesar & Otto's Deadly Xmas (2012; MVD Visual/Wild Eye Releasing)

...(...Christmas, in the Summer...heck, why not?? Christmas horror movies, in the Summer...oh, hell yes!! Besides, we did this last year, with 2012's "Christmas with the Dead", and as I recall, it was a deliciously chilling and comical hoot, remember??)...

...so, how do you like your horror?? A straight up, balls-to-the-walls, over-the-top, freight-trained splatterfest, which give cause to want to take a shower, afterwards?? Subtle, creepy, unnerving and uncomfortable..the kind of horror that chills to the bone, even in a hot & sweltering movie auditorium, where the air conditioning is broken down (...oh, glory be, those good ol' bygone grindhouse theater days)?? Or do you relish a brand of horror that's darkly humored, with a deftly applied, mischievously severed tongue firmly in cheek...the kind of horror that elicits more a maniacal cackle, than a belly laugh, amidst the gratuitous bloodspray and the waywardly rampant rendering of free-flying flesh & limbs?? As far as the latter genre flavor, we've definitely seen some great ones...from Sam Raimi to Edgar Wright...from Don Coscarelli to Peter Jackson...and many others. Balanced comical moments, to temper the onslaught of scares, shocks and gore...laughing fearlessly (...or at least putting up a good front) in the face of gruesome, sometimes monstrous horror. Yes indeed, folks...in truth, and in a twisted way, horror is really not all that removed from comedy...in fact, one might say that they're complementary of each other, like the perfect ice cream, paired up with the ideal (...and blood rare) meat & potatoes. Point in case...

Movie Review: "Red Flag/Rubberneck" (2012; Tribeca Film/Cinedigm)

...whether the endeavor proves successful, or garnishes failure, it's actually sometimes interesting to see a filmmaker attempt to concoct feature films in his or her repertoire, under different...sometimes drastically different genres. The act of trying out something outside of one's normally assumed genre...like putting on an alternate overcoat, in a style totally unexpected...for whatever reason...self-arrogance...boredom...creatively wanting to get something off the chest...confidence in one's self, in working out of the norm...it all goes right down to, it's a matter of 'if you are going to do this, you better get it right, or you'll alienate your core audience" (...although there have been countless directors, who have done this very thing, one cannot help but call attention to one of the latest, Kevin Smith, and the mixed results of his break from the norm, "Red State"). However, given a fledgling filmmaker's tendency to do this...to try on different genres...one cannot help but think that the director isn't really sure what he or she wants to do or say, and conjecture inclined, might lead to believe that he's/she's letting the criticism and/or acclaim for his work, drive that filmmaker toward what he or she may prove best at...and yes, ironically, this is in a world where seasoned and untried filmmakers seem to want to strive to break away from their norm, do something that's unconventionally original and different...something deep inside, which they want to say, or a vision, which they want to show...damned be the critics, in the interim...

...oh, Hollywood!! You're so...odd...

...but then, so is this very much contrasting pairing of independents, the humorous "Red Flag", and it's dramatically tense co-feature, "Rubberneck"...both produced, directed and starring actor, and now filmmaker Alex Karpovsky; and yet, while very much odd, this two-fer may not be as opposingly different, as the premises might suggest...

Movie Review: Jug Face (2013, Moderncine/MVD Visual)

...it often proves interesting when a genre writer or filmmaker takes an observation of unconvention...that is, 'unconventional' to that of an established and status-quo accepted 'norm', but perhaps, for all intent and purpose, completely 'normal' to the subject of said observation's origin, as well as those who subscribe to it...and weaves a literary mythos of originality and intrigue, with said subject as the protagonistic centerpiece. Few and far between situations, exactly like this, tend to somewhat dispel the sometimes resigned suggestion that the best of creative and imaginative ideas, with regards to the genres of horror and dark fantasy, are all used up...that 'the well' has run dry, in that respect. And yet, every once in a while, that very thing indeed occurs, and when it does, we of the devoted fright film aficionados, have every reason to gleefully revel and rejoice. Such is the case, when director Chad Crawford Kindle, in pondering upon his next project...his first feature film...happened to venture in and around one particular Northern Georgian pottery exhibit, came upon a most interesting (..and creepy, to say the least) discovery, and had an epiphany...a vision...an idea for a most chilling film, wrought with mystery, intrigue and unmitigated horror, beyond imagination and belief...

Movie Review: Junkie (2013, Indiecan Entertainment)

...ah, yes...the ol' time-worn, though still timeless 'odd couple' plot device. The 'what if' driven coupling...sometimes amiable, sometimes reluctant...of two abrasive and acidic personalities, set invariably against each other. Polar opposites...the oil and vinegar types...the ying, against the yang...Baby Jane and Blanche...Oscar and Felix...Riggs and Murtaugh...Elliot and Beverly...Tyler Durden and...well, the other guy (...Sheesh!! All these years, and it wasn't until now that it hit me, that 'the other guy' was not even named)...haphazardly walking that fine line between compatibility and incompatibility. Will they find that happy medium, in order to co-exist...at the very least, work together...or will they drag each other down, down, down, into a dark and inescapable abyss?? Come on, people...be perfectly honest, now; sure, it's fun and interesting to watch two totally different types, finding it within themselves to amiably play their differences harmoniously in tandem, in order to get the job done, no matter what 'the job' is. However, isn't it so much more outrageously fascinating to watch two polar opposites, tug and pull at each other, gratingly...combiningly driving each other down exponentially faster than what each separately might voluntarily plummet. Like watching two freight trains, barrelling incessively and inevitably towards each other at high speed, on opposite sides of the same track...the resulting and unavoidable crash, a sad and tragic, albeit irresistibly compelling inevitability. After all, misery does love company...and of course, demands an audience...

Movie Review: Fear the Forest (2009, Radient Pictures/Lost Empire Pictures)

...as prevalent as the 'mythical' creature, know as Sasquatch...or, if you prefer, Bigfoot...is, as far as horror movie fodder goes, it's genuinely not surprising that an outright seriously horrific rending of the big guy, has rarely come to light. Considering the campy, 'National Enquirer' sensationalist baggage already instilled upon the urban legend creature, right from the get go, it's understandable why such subject matter can hardly be taken too seriously. There's no escaping the juxstapositioned stereotypes associated with even a well-written 'Bigfoot' film production...the sensationalist and speculative semi-documentary remplifications...the prerequisite 'astounding' finds and clues, attributed to the creature's 'existence', including conveniently happenstance film footage, hair tuft clippings and countless cement castings of footprints...the crazed, drunken, unshaven, raggedy 'Festus' geezer stereotype, ranting to the local-yokels, wide-eyed tourists, and the ravaging, exploitative-driven press, "...well, tar'nation...I dun' saw Bigfoot once...dat' critter dun' made a ear-shatterin' sound in them thar' woods, I wouldn' wanna hear twice!!" Or putting a whispered scare into hapless, shivering campers, cuddled around a rustic campfire, while toking a skunked bottle of hooch, "...ya' see, folks...dar's a legend in these here parts..."...

Movie Review: Demon Hunters: Fear The Silence (2013, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Before I start this review I think it's important to state what I consider to be an "independent film". Those two words are thrown around more often then I like. To me a true independent film costs less then 30K to make. To me that's the true spirit of Indie film, it means the filmmakers did it for a passion of movie making. They didn't do it for the fame or the glory or the money.

Demon Hunters is one of those films, a true Independent gem. Made for next to nothing, the film takes a high concept and does it on a shoe-string budget and actually pulls it off. So many filmmakers have had their hearts in the right place but failed to execute. Usually due to sloppy screen writing or iffy acting.


I'm happy to report that Demon Hunters for the most part avoids all of these pitfalls by smartly setting the action in basically one location. It also doesn't take itself seriously at all which is refreshing to say the least.

Movie Review: Zombie Ex's (2013, Northern Fabulous/Bloody Earth Films)

 ...nope...nope...not this viewer, thank you very much...nope...not gonna do it...nope...not gonna do it, dammit, says this viewer!! Not gonna go into another droning and repetitive rant about yet another new zombie comedy, amidst the countless zombie comedies already gracing the horror genre wasteland. Nope. Not gonna reflect back upon bygone humble beginnings, what horror sub-genre has since been wrought, as the result of some little 1968 presumably classic zombie flick, by some dude...maybe you've heard of him...some dude named Romero, or something like that, I think. Oh hell, no. Not gonna shovel out the typical ya-da-da ya-da-da ya-da-da about a new zombie flick that once again establishes & revels the 'basic rules' of the zombie genre, storywise (...i.e., being reanimated flesh-eaters, needing to shoot them in the head, etc.), and yet, tries to turn the genre on it's head, by humorously gives the expected proceedings, a supposedly fresh twist, or some underliningly social satire. And it's a shame that this viewer isn't gonna do all that, 'cause such oft-visited, nostalgic reflection of this beaten and well worn horror genre would still make for a reasonable and much greater measure of insight and relevation, than the adequate, though pretty much shoulder-shrugging, ho-hum offerings afforded the hapless viewer of the 2013 horror comedy, "Zombie Ex's"...

Movie Review: Wither (2012, Artsploitation Films)

 ...ya know?? This viewer gets a fairly good kick out of eager and ambitious young filmmakers who, over the years, have attempted to inspirationally emulate the unconventional and amiably engaged quirkings, which have long set the standard...the alluring bar, as far as embraced genre and cult films. It's a filmmaker's exercise, not unlike that of trying to marry specific chemicals together in a science experiment, based solely on the success of what has been seen before, rather than adhering to a concise list of chemicals, and their concise measurements. Tip the scales on one or more of the elements, to the greater or to the lesser, and the whole outcome might well change...sometimes for the better, and unfortunately, at times, for the worse. Such is the case, as far as director Sam Raimi's unflinching and visceral 1981 horror classic, "The Evil Dead", and the resulting 'homages', alternate takes...and let's face it...knock-offs and copycats, over the ensuing years; after all, some very interesting...and well, at the very least, very peculiar things have been done with the old 'awakening an evil, while in a secluded cabin in the woods' scenario. Most can site the obvious...2012's "Cabin in the Woods", 2002's "Cabin Fever", and of course, the recent remake of the Raimi classic. However, who out there, has seen the emulative 2010 horror oddity, "Primal"?? Or how about the clever and surreal, albeit relatively gore-tame 1990 effort, "Demon Wind"?? And who genuinely remembers the insanely crazed, creepy and bizarre 1970 horror entry, "Equinox", which predates 'Evil Dead' by a decade?? Some, quite memorable...some, quite forgettable...and some, rather under-appreciated. And with the recent homage to "The Evil Dead"...a 2012 Swedish import, simply titled "Wither"?? Eh, Monty Hall...I'm afraid we're gonna have to take (...trap) door number two, on that one, please...

Movie Review: ThanksKilling 3 (2012, Gravitas Ventures)

...(...stepping up to the mic, into the solo spotlight glow, reading the handed script) "...uh, Thanks...Killing 3"...

...(...a dead-quiet hush falls over the vacant-eyed crowd)...

...(...clearing throat, and emoting louder) "Ahem!! THANKSKILLING 3!!"...

...(...the deafening silence and disbelieving stares continue)...

...(...throwing out three fingers, and tapping the mic, before speaking...slight feedback reverberating) "...uh, ThanksKilling THREE!!!"...

...(...dead air continues, then a faint, questioning 'gobble' from the back)...

...(...looking out and about to speak again, pausing a moment in disbelief, in re-reading the script) "...ThanksKilling...3?? Really?? I mean, ThanksKilling THREE??"...

...(...turning and leaving in disgust and disbeief, heading stage right, sending script pages flying rampantly in the air, the question repeated, fading off-stage with the speaker) "...ThanksKilling 3?? You're kidding, right?? I mean, ThanksKilling THREE?? ThanksKilling THREE.....??"...

Movie Review: Wrong (2012, Realitism/Drafthouse Films)

...in the short time that I have been scribbling complementary and critical cinematic verbiage for this most embraceably eclectic webpage (...oh yes, a motley crew, are we...), I have gleefully perused through a rather respectable gamut of cult movies...a whole spectrum of relishably lurid schlock, escapist genre classics, arousingly sizzling erotica, easily-digestible commercial oddies, and all point in-between, around the sides, over the top, as well as the slimy, abysmally darkened dreck, underneath (...what was it that Maxwell Smart once offered in response, on more than one occasion?? "...AND loving it!!", I believe it was...). In the midst of having viewed & viewed & viewed, and thusly offered commentary to such viewings, this...well, this viewer has since instigated in the back of his mind, a gage...a measuring device, not so very much unlike that of a meter, measuring a level of intensity, from left to right...an intensity, which reflects how much my face contorts and assumes a live version of the cartoonish Cinema Head Cheese logo, which you readers have come to know and recognize. Least to say, given the wide range of film-fantasique, which this viewer has been privy of, the needle on said gage has seen flutter well across the range of the scale...with the odd, occasional times, when the needle slams resoundly to the right, and this viewer's facial visage takes on the euphorically sado-masochistic and tortured look of this webpage's namesake logo. And it is those rare times when one finds that oh-so numbingly rancid, tantilizingly tasteless and wincingly brain-twisting vintage of Thunderbird...that rare, opportune piece of flickage, which makes one stare hypnotically googly-eyed at the end of the movie...at the screen...through the screen...while the final credits roll, and then, moments later, after the screen has faded to black, makes one shakes one's head back & forth crazily back to reality, blubbering spittle all around, like a Whammo Water Wiggle, and half-laughing/half-screaming madly, in the process...

Movie Review: Night Of The Tentacles (2012, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

 

This is the first film of Dustin Mills I've ever seen. I've heard of his work before with flicks like Zombie A-Hole & Bath Salt Zombies. I must say I'm really impressed with what he was able to achieve, working no less with a budget of only fifteen-hundred bucks.

The film deals with a fellow by the name of David (Brandon Salkil). A man who's life really isn't going the way he plans. He's a struggling graphic artist who specializes in erotic horror artwork. He lives next door to some neighbors who are constantly causing a ruckus having sex non-stop. Things are looking to good for our dear David. Who's sole pleasure in life in waiting for his down stares pregnant neighbor Esther (Nicole Gerity) to get home. Why? So he listen in, ear to the floor and masturbate to the sounds of her moaning, doing the deed herself. Not much of a silver lining in his life eh?