Movie Review: Leatherman Box Set

Cruz is a biker. He is a hot biker. He is a hot biker who is also a thief. There you have it in a nutshell. Cruz, in the opening episode, seduces a woman named Shisui. Shisui is, apparently, put into a sex-coma due to Cruz’ passionate biker ways. While she is down for the count, Cruz empties out the company safe and rides off into the sunset.

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Shisui’s boss is not very happy, to say the least. It seems Cruz has stolen something that is vital to the company and could damage them greatly. Shisui is sent after Cruz. Now, this storyline crops up from time to time, but isn’t the focus of the show.

The real story tells the sordid tale of Cruz, the biker from a couple paragraphs above, who will sleep with any woman alive. He spends a few days with a nun (yes, nun), some UFO watchers, nurses, etc. The entirety of the show is spent watching Cruz ride around on his bike and bed a succession of women.

Movie Review: Assault Of The Sasquatch (2010)

Does Bigfoot exist? Scientists, scholars and ordinary folks alike wonder this decades old mystery. This giant "man-ape" has captivated, and at the same time caused terror for residents of the pacific-northwest. Whether you think Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) exists ;is up for discussion, but one thing is for certain, this curiosity is alive in movies. The two most notable films in the Bigfoot genre are Legend Of Boggy Creek and (shockingly enough) Harry and the Hendersons. We've seen several other attempts at the cinematic Sasquatch in Creature from Black Lake, Boggy Creek II - one of the better Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes, in my opinion- ,Shreik Of the Mutilated - where our furry pal wears a white coat as a "Yeti," the wonderfully tasteless gore-fest, Night Of The Demon -a British Video Nasty, that really delivers on the "nasty"- and the recent abomination, Abominable, starring Lance Henriksen. Not too long ago, Chiller - a horror film channel on cable owned by NBC - showed Sasquatch Attack. Shot in 2009,by director Andrew Gernhard, Sasquatch Attack, now has a new title for its DVD incarnation, Assault Of The Sasquatch.

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Movie Review: Pontypool

Pontypool is an ambitious effort. It is smart, atmospheric and filled with enough tension and paranoia to keep most intelligent horror fans happy. There is a downside, though. The film may be a bit too smart and its plot conventions come across as a bit confusing.

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Pontypool is based off the series of novels by screenwriter Tony Burgess. Now, to be fair, with the limitations of film, the idea of Pontypool is a difficult one to get across. Burgess does his best and the end result is very impressive. Bruce MacDonald’s direction is top notch as well. It helps that I’m a sucker for one location movies. Intrinsic claustrophobia is an effective tool and MacDonald and Burgess are right on the money. Pontypool is, thankfully, a departure from the standard infected person/zombie sub-genre and works on multiple levels.

Movie Review: Dead Snow (Blu-Ray)

Those damn Norwegians. Seriously, man! Why can’t I just be left alone with my own cool ideas? I mean, Nazi zombies… I thought I had the market cornered. Raise a little cash, make a movie about Der Fuhrer’s shambling undead and rake in the cash.

BUY DEAD SNOW ON BLU-RAY!

Damn Norwegians. Not only did they make my movie, but they made it better than I could have.

I dug Dead Snow. From beginning to end, plot hole to plot hole, physical impossibility to physical impossibility, this film just rocked. Set in modern day Norwegia (I kid, its Norway , even though I did go to public school), a group of hikers go to a cabin to drink, carouse, get laid, etc. While there, they find a stash of Nazi gold from the time during World War II when the Nazis occupied the small town. Taking Nazi gold doesn’t sit well with the indigenous Nazi zombie population and, well, you can garner the rest. What Dead Snow becomes, though, is a fun as hell, Raimi-esque gorefest filled with slapstick humor. What works so well about Dead Snow is, once the undead Nazis get going, it speaks in the universal language of the horror film. Gore, blood, gore, entrails, blood and some more blood.

Score on Blu-Ray! Never Sleep Again on DVD!

A few DVD releases on the Cinema Head Cheese radar from Cult Epics and CAV. Click the images to enlarge.

Movie Review: I Spit On Your Grave (1978) and (2010)

As a cult film fan, I subject myself to many horrible things in the name of cinema. Many times it's worth it, as a layer of humanity is revealed, or I learn to think about something in a very different way. Sometimes the experience is empty but still entertaining, if a bit icky. And sometimes you wonder why you bothered.

The rape-revenge film is a subset of revenge films. A woman is raped, sometimes killed, and someone - a husband or the woman herself - takes revenge on the rapist, subjecting him/them to some sort of ironic end that makes the audience applaud and feel good about watching someone castrated or otherwise mangled and murdered. I'm not judging here, because I'd never be able to cast the first stone, as it were.


Buy the original I Spit on Your Grave on DVD or get the remake on DVD or Blu-Ray on Amazon.com


A couple of weeks ago, I won a seat to a double feature of rape-revenge films. Indeed, it was the originator of the sub-genre, "I Spit On Your Grave" and the remake of same. The directors of both films were in attendance to give some justification to their films. (In my opinion there is none for the remake, but I'll get into that in a moment.)

21st Century Grindhouse: Blood Moon Rising on Blu-Ray in November!

This November, the CHC Crew are going to be pretty happy. The very first Blu-Ray release that we were involved with will hit store shelves. Blood Moon Rising, starring Ron Jeremy, Laurie Love and Neal Trout (and written and directed by Brian Skiba) will finally be available in that 1080 goodness that makes us drool. Produced by our very own David C. Hayes and featuring Jeff Dolniak & Kevin Moyers, BMR is a throwback to the era of the grindhouse film. So, to fill you in, we’ve prepared a short history of the exploitive genius forefathers that paved the way for this new release. 

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The grindhouse is actually a uniquely American term that stood for a theater, or drive in, that would show exploitation films. These exploitation films rarely had big stars and contained, not surprisingly, more lurid subject matter. Teenage gangs roamed the silver screen, followed by vampires and werewolves, large-breasted Nazi she devils, fifty foot spiders and anything else the American sub-conscious could wrap it’s fears around. And don’t expect to recognize the actors… at least not at first. The grindhouse was home to the lowest of the low budget. Directors like Dwain Esper, H. G. Lewis, Ed Wood and many others would present material that decent, hard working and “normal” folks just wouldn’t get. It was lurid… it was disturbing… it was, well, a helluva a lot fun. The 1940s brought us burlesque in the grindhouse, adding that age-old staple of full frontal female nudity that we have, now, come to demand from our exploitation film masters. The 1950s graced us with the giant, irridated monster that ate small, God-fearing towns and were a result of atomic energy (like the kind used to destroy innocent civilians in Japan) gone awry. The 1960s brought us the counter culture, flickering from our silver screens, as teenage gangs, oiled up and angry, were ready for a fight. And don’t forget out pot smoking, free love motorcycle gangs… they were in on the action as well. In the 1970s, the grindhouse even made us think a little as we cringed in our seats. Metaphysical pursuits, religion and the transmutation of not only body, but soul combined to scare our pants off time and time again. In the 1980s, the mindless, soulless killer of youth, the slasher, came to prominence. Scarier in it’s simplicity, our nightmares were haunted by shambling, unkillable, butchering machines… and you cannot reason with a machine. The 1990s, sadly, brought us nothing. Home video had boomed to such a point that the drive-in and grindhouse were pretty much things of the past.



But, like a bad penny, you can’t keep your true monsters down. With that said, we give to you… Blood Moon Rising on Blu-Ray. Coming this November!

Movie Review: Stan Helsing (Blu-Ray)

I really can’t believe I made it all the way through this. The owners of the Scary Movie franchise, or the creators of Date Movie and Disaster Movie and whatever Movie Movie is out there should thank the heavens above, because Stan Helsing has set the bar so low that even the Arizona legislature could pull off a better show. Uugh, let’s get this over with.

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Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is a slacker that works in a video store. He is descended from the famousVan Helsing that killed Dracula and a group of poorly spoofed movie monsters needs to end the bloodline. When I say poorly spoofed, I mean really bad. How about a Jewish Michael Meyers (because that makes so much sense), a Pinhead dart rip and a Jason-esque character among others? Whatever. So, Stan gets stranded, with his friends, in a weird little town on Halloween where Leslie Nielson, in drag, manages to say some stupid dialogue.

Movie Review: Someone's Knocking at the Door (Blu-Ray)

What a freaking trip. I mean, seriously, there are some good drugs going around the indie horror scene right now and I feel a little left out. Chad Ferrin’s Someone’s Knocking at the Door is a case example of that. Playing like a micro-budget, but meaner, version of Jacob’s Ladder, the film is exactly what you’d expect from a Vicious Circle release… except weirder.

BUY SOMEONE'S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR ON BLU-RAY

In a nutshell, a group of medical school students do a lot of drugs. Always looking for their next high, they stumble upon the pharmacological therapy and study of a married pair of convicted killers, John and Wilma Hopper (the always creepy Ezra Buzzington and Elina Madison) that would, literally, screw people to death. Somehow tapping into the energy of these long dead murderers, the medical students begin to drop like flies. Violated flies, but flies nonetheless. The carnage is intense and, like any good creep-fest, things are most definitely not what they seem.

Movie Review: The Longest Yard (1974)

Football. Football. Football! When there are no games on Sunday, you’ll have to look elsewhere to get that pigskin fix. Look no further than the classic 1974 comedy The Longest Yard. Directed by Robert Aldrich and starring Burt Reynolds (he was seriously funny in his day) The Longest Yard is, quite possibly, one of the best films made about football to date. It was so good, in fact, that the remake starringAdam Sandler, Steve Austin and Goldberg, doesn't hold a candle to the original. Burt (who played for Florida State and was even drafted by the Baltimore Colts) plays Paul Crewe, football superstar sent to prison for stealing his girlfriend’s car. While there, the warden (Eddie Albert) realizes who Crewe is and plans to have him coach a team comprised of prison guards for a competition. This idea doesn’t fly with Crewe and, after being challenged, Crewe says he can put together a team of inmates to actually beat the guards. After seeing a practice and being afraid of how far along the inmates are coming, the warden offers an early release to Crewe if he throws the game. Crewe has a tough decision to make, but the self esteem of his inmate team is more important and the inmate team goes on to play some tough ball.

BUY THE LONGEST YARD (1974) AT AMAZON.COM

The Longest Yard works on a few levels. As a comedy, it ranks very high on the laugh scale (if you doubt me, just wait for the world’s funniest “football to the groin” scene in all of film history) but, more subtly, the film works as a pretty powerful drama. We get up close and personal with some prison inmatesthat have given up on everything, until they are presented with a chance to prove themselves on the field.

Movie Review: Blackmail (Box Set)

BUY BLACKMAIL AT AMAZON.COM
Originally released in Japan in 2000, Blackmail, content-wise, is most definitely an acquired taste. Lush colors, brilliant transfer and good animation aren’t enough to wash the degradation and humiliation storyline out and it pummels away with a constant barrage of unsettling images.

Like all of Nutech’s box set releases, Blackmail features a beautiful color slip case (slightly marred by the “Totally Uncensored” emblazoned across it) housing the three-disc set, each in their own keep case and each featuring one of the main characters. The audio on the discs is available in English & Japanese (both in Dolby Stereo) with optional English subtitles. Like the other Nutech releases, two of the character voices are performed by American adult film actresses. This time we are treated to the vocal stylings of Tabitha Stevens and Misty Rain. Blackmail features a very nice digital transfer that looks to be computer colored additionally.

Movie Review: Porno

Brazilian erotica has unfortunately been seldom viewed at the Cinema Head Cheese compound. Cult films from nearly every corner of the world have been represented in abundance on this website. However, Brazilian films have been lacking in our overall content... so something had to change. Aside from the occasional over-the-top Sady Baby grotesquerie and the frequent viewings Blame it on Rio - usually watching Michelle Johnson's scenes in slow-motion, over and over and over - which is just filmed in Rio and hardly representative of the beautiful women that inhabit this amazing South American country. It's not a secret - Brazilian women are some of the most gorgeous creatures in the world. What DVD company could possibly aid us in our search for the supreme examples of "Pornochanchada"? That's where genre label, Impulse films come in. So far, Impulse has put out three recent DVDs featuring "Pornochanchada": Chick's Ability, Alfredo Sternheim's jaw-dropping oddity, Violence and Flesh and today's review, Porno.

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TV on DVD: Benny Hill: The Complete Megaset - The Thames Years, 1969 to 1989

On January 21st, 1924, a young British woman in Southhampton Hampshire, England gave birth to a comedy legend. That comedy legend, was the incomparable Alfred Hawthorn Hill; otherwise known as Benny Hill. Benny Hill passed away 18 years ago, but nearly all the bawdy, irreverent and outrageous humor Benny was so famous for - is conveniently packaged in this new release from A&E Home Video, Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989. With more than 50 hours of material - including supplemental material -, this particular DVD set features fifty-eight episodes of the show, on eighteen DVDs. Sounds like a lot of material? It is, but for fans and Benny Hill completists, Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989, has a great deal to offer those who adore the much admired cross-dressing, comedic chameleon.

Buy Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set: The Thames Years 1969 to 1989 on Amazon.com

All of Benny Hill's memorable characters, including : Moira Anderson, Mrs.Fripp, Sheridan Morely, Bobby Gently, Lord Boothby, Fred Scuttle, Chow Mein; and even celebrities such as Orson Welles and W.C Fields are present and given life through Benny’s numerous modifications. Benny’s talents don’t just revolve around a few different characters, it’s a world of individuals that inhabit Benny’s universe. One of my personal favorites is “ITV’s Most Loyal Viewer”, Mrs. Fripp . Mrs. Fripp is basically a TV addict who doesn’t leave her chair - and stares at a television set, as if she were under some kind of spell. Other amusing skits you can also look forward to on this monumental 18 DVD set are, The Minstrel Boy, Chow Mein and Cookie in Restaurant, Fred Scuttle’s Channel Tunnel and the hysterical Reverend Gray.

Movie Review: Shogun Assassin (Blu-Ray)

Review by Jeff


Directed by: Robert Houston

Shogun Assassin has had quite a history as a bonafide cult film. For one, It's easily one of the more notable Asian cult film entries, that has maintained a strong cult status over the past 30 years. The definition of the term "Grindhouse" has to have director ,Robert Houston's, Shogun Assassin written in somewhere. "Grindhouse" films generally have a unique hook -whether they be horror, blaxploitation, martial arts, action, porn - that separate them from their own genre counterparts. Shogun Assassin is no Seven Samurai, by any stretch. Seven Samurai is also not a grindhouse film. As someone who has viewed Shogun Assassin numerous times - via shoddy bootlegs and the original long out-of-print Media video release - I've been able to enjoy all of it's visceral exploitedness; but never did I think their would be an uncut Blu-ray release. Well, thanks to the folks at Animeigo, Shogun Assassin the Blu-Ray has become a reality.

Buy Shogun Assassin (Blu-Ray) on Amazon.com

Movie Review: Behind Convent Walls (Cult Epics)

Directed by: Walerian Borowczyk

Cinema Head Cheese has been pretty sparse in the nun-sploitation department, so I thought, why not kick off this sub-genre with Walerian Borowczyk’s classic contribution, Behind Convent Walls – from Cult Epics. For those of you unfamiliar with Walerian Borowczyk – he is Polish-born Catholic filmmaker who immigrated to France to pursue his passion of making movies, that were not only a visual feast but filled with very controversial subject-matter. One of those being, the Catholic church. His focus in Behind Convent Walls is clearly on the oppression of sexuality in the Christian faith – with nuns and a very cantankerous Mother Superior. These nuns look nothing like the ones you may have grown up with in Catholic school – many are actually quite lovely. Add an uninhibited-ness to the saucy mix and you have a convent filled with raging desire that would make Pope Benedict mess his papal gown.

Buy Behind Convent Walls on Amazon.com

Based on Stendahl’s story, Roman Walks, Behind Convent Walls tells the tale of a Mother Superior(Gabriella Giacobbe) that has nearly lost all control of the young nuns in her convent. This proves to be a monumental task, as virtually all of the young ladies are showing no sense of restraint when it comes to giving and receiving the carnal pleasures - they’re so forbidden . Behind Convent Walls is as much an exploitation film as it is an arthouse feature. Borowczyk’s choice to have Luciano Tovoli as his Cinematographer, truly, is what sets this – what could be your average nun-sploitation – into the realm of the sublime. Aside from Tovoli’s energetic camera , he also uses soft-focus - which only enhances the atmosphere to an almost dream-like feel. If you’ve only viewed Behind Convent Walls in its truncated form you’ll be thoroughly pleased with Cult Epic’s release, as it’s completely uncut – featuring the often excised “Nun and wooden dildo scene”. This scene is divine in its presentation, and is sure to make all God-fearing folk scramble for their rosary beads.
The picture quality of Cult Epics' release of Behind Convent Walls is very good. Their isn't any visible print damage and grain is at a bare minimum. The fact that this is the uncut version of the film , it's very impressive. This release is also in it's original aspect ratio, 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. The audio is quite solid and unforgettable the organ music sounds clearer than ever before. You also have both Italian and English subtitle options.

Supplementary materials are featured on this disc as well : Behind The Walls (featurette), an interview with Cinematographer extraordinaire, Luciano Tovoli and a Photo and Lobby Card gallery. The Behind The Walls featurette isn't very long, but for that duration we are given many facts on Behind Convent Walls, Walerian Borowczyk's career and censorship. Borowczyk historians, Marc Morris, Sam Dunn and Daniel Bird provide great insight on the Polish filmmaker.

Behind Convent Walls gets first-rate treatment overall in this Cult Epics’ release.

Format: Color, DVD, Enhanced, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Language: English, French, Italian
Subtitles: English
Region: Region 1
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
Rated: Unrated
Studio: Cult Epics
DVD Release Date: March 30, 2010
Run Time: 95 minutes

Six Degrees of Cheese: Six Comedians Gone Too Soon

by Kevin Moyers

I've loved stand-up comedy since I was a kid. Seeing George Carlin at age twelve truly changed my life and way of thinking. All I wanted to do was what he did. While I'm a long way from being Carlin, I do enjoy performing now and again. I'm not very interested in all of the travel it takes to do this for a living, but I understand the draw of that difficult lifestyle.

Recently, we lost two comedians that I would hold up among the greats. I don't think anyone was ready to see either go. They had so much more to say, and that's why they're on my list below.

Movie Review: Vamperotica: Tales from the Bloodvault (2010)

by David Hayes

Vamperotica: Tales from the Bloodvault is another entry in the hugely successful comic book-to-film formula. Don't expect Spider-Man style effects or Road to Perdition type drama… but get ready for a fun little exercise in the large-breasted vampire genre. The title alone is undeniable proof of "what you see is what you get." Written and directed by Vamperotica comic creator, Kirk Lindo, Tales tells the, well, tale of b-movie producer Nicky, the money he owes to the mob and the one last epic he produces (in a single night no less) about a sexy and evil Vampire Queen (played by the always buxom Glori Anne Gilbert who could, if she concentrates really hard, breast feed an entire third world nation). Little does Nicky know that the Vampire Queen actress is a real vampire (and not a "natural" like Nicky thinks). The feature comes in at a lean 80 minutes.

Movie Review: Jingles the Clown (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

Directed by Tommy Brunswick

Written by Todd Brunswick

Buy Jingles the Clown on DVD

If you love to scare the crap out of your friends with a movie about a psychotic killer clown who just won’t die then this film is for you! If you have a deadly fear of crazy ass psychopathic clowns, well then, you’re out of luck.

Mr. Jingles was a child entertainer who turned into a murderous serial killer clown. He would take his victims to his house to torture then murder them. Well, one day, he took Angela and her family back to this house. One by one, Angela is forced to watch her family slaughtered. Luckily for her, the police come just in time to shoot the mad clown down before he can kill the poor little girl.

Movie Review: I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

Directed by: Steven Monroe

Written by: Meir Zarchi

Buy I Spit on Your Grave on DVD or Blu-ray

Many people bash or refuse to see remakes due to Hollywood's deservedly poor reputation in that regard. Either the original is far superior or the remake has absolutely nothing to do with the original. Regardless, this was a remake I was highly anticipating (as were many others). The tickets to this screening were gone in three hours from the moment they went on sale. Everyone at the screening I attended waited for hours in line and a few of us talked about the original. Due to the marketing for this version, we were trying to imagine how this move was supposedly going to be “even more graphic” than the original. Boy, did they ever deliver on that promise! Multiple audience members couldn't make it through the entire film.

Movie Review: Inception (2010)

Review by Hollis Jay

I only heard my father play sax once. The notes draped over me and transformed my environment into a spectacular wilderness of sound. But, in that one playing I could tell that he was a master at music. Déjà vu. It only took me one minute to figure out that the movie Inception was a masterpiece. As the first dream sequence began to turn to rubble, my heart caught into my chest and I could feel something that I rarely feel while viewing a film: anticipation.

BUY THE INCEPTION BLU-RAY/DVD COMBO AT AMAZON.COM


First of all, the casting was amazing. John Papsidera performed a fabulous job of balancing out actors in regards to their strengths and weaknesses. He chose actors from all forms of cinema. He chose experienced actors and those who have only performed in a few films. He also chose actors who would give depth to the story, and be able to allow their characters to evolve in a smooth manner. If Marion Cotillard doesn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, I would be surprised. Also, all of the actors allowed the story to be the star and didn’t appear to fight over their position in the film regardless of their character. They allowed the story to speak for itself.