Cinema Head Cheese - Movie Reviews, News, a Podcast and more!: indie film

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December 19, 2025

Camp Blood Christmas - Movie Review

Posted by PeggyC

So, when I heard there was a movie that brought David C. Hayes out of (acting) retirement, you bet your SWEET ASS that I was going to see it no matter the cost. Luckily for me, David is my friend, and he obviously considers me the same because he brought me a copy of it, Blu Ray no less, when it became available.

And just in time for Christmas, here is my review of the 2025 film, Camp Blood Christmas.

NOTE: I won’t be spoiling any plot points as this film LITERALLY just came out. People need to experience this film on their own terms.

The basic idea is this: a group of misfits answers a job ad for a new Santa Snow Camp, a winter excursion place for kids to enjoy winter and Santa Clause and all that crap. Aside from the delay of the food and supplies guy, Carl, everything seems to be going swimmingly. But then, Gary, the hired Santa Clause, shares the bloody massacre-prone history of the location of the new camp.

Turns out it was a regular camp at one time until there were a bunch murders committed by the Clown Killer.

Fun fact: the opening credits consist of snippets from many of the previous fourteen Camp Blood movies.

You heard me. FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN. (Depending on who you talk to, it could only be fourteen total films which means snippets from THIR-FUCKING-TEEN films fill the opening credits.)

Anyway, as you might imagine, the reason Carl never showed? Seems the Clown Killer has returned. But what you might not have imagined, is the reason WHY. Whoa, PLOT TWIST! But then you probably didn’t image ANOTHER twist on top of that. It’s like the villain neck-cracking the hero right before he can save the day!

Will anyone survive this rampage? Maybe.

Will this family camp every get off the ground? Probably not.

Will we care?

Now, we all know how indie horror films usually go, don’t we? Low budget, lackluster acting, minimal continuity, terrible editing, bad sound, ridiculous plots and their giant holes, and so on and so forth. And, generally speaking, this is consistent with those issues – except sound. This is probably the first indie film I’ve watched where I didn’t need to keep adjusting the volume throughout the whole fucking thing because the dialogue was too quiet and the effects were too loud.

Good job, guys!

But yet, other than the great sound, this films lacks a lot. Character development is minimal because honestly, I really only cared about the hitch hiking, bearded, gummy dosing happy dude, Eddie (I think that’s him). Everyone else? Eh. A lot of the jokes fell flat; the dialogue felt stilted and unnatural; and way too much time was spent filming David’s butt crack.

HOWEVER…

Quite a few of the jokes landed perfectly. I personally loved the ditzy bombshell taking nudes of “down there” with her landline phone to send to her boyfriend. The story itself is pretty fun. While I will say some of the dialogue actually tells us what’s coming, the reveals and twists felt totally unexpected. The practical effects looked good (way to go, Emily Sammons, for the design on the severed penis). And it was easy to tell everyone who worked on the movie had good chemistry. They put in a lot of effort and while not perfect, it really shows their dedication.

Matt Dilts-Williams did a great job at writing a fun and entertaining story, as well as directing the cast and crew.

So if you’re interested in seeing what’s happening in the indie scene, and wouldn’t mind taking a chance on a humorous holiday horror – and David’s butt crack – get yourself a copy of Camp Blood Christmas. Don’t forget to hang around through the ending credits. That final song is pretty dang catchy.

And have a hell of a happy holiday season!

3 hatchets (out of 5)

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September 14, 2025

Atomic Swan Web Series - RATS (Volume 1 and 2)

Posted by PeggyC

I think to this point, I’ve reviewed everything available from Atomic Swan. Lots of misses but with the ones that hit, they hit right. So I’m always happy to check out anything Tyler Zickafoose sends my way.

That said, I guess I’m a little confused by this one. It seems they were trying to make a web series but it also incorporated a lot of what felt like the Atomic Swan style for their movies - read: improvisation. I can’t say that it worked really well here.

The basic premise is a show about Merle and Wayne, best friends just trying to navigate the ups and downs of life. Losing jobs, absentee parents, toxic relationships, money problems, anger management, getting framed for crimes they didn’t commit, and even death.

That might seem like a lot but there are eight episodes, plus one set-up episode, to contain it all. I’m not going to break down the entire series but let’s cover some highlights, yes?

The first episode introduces us to the main characters, Merle and Wayne, and what’s going on in life for them at the time. Merle lives with his wife and baby boy but he’s out of work and the heat was just shut off at his house, letting us know Merle is struggling financially. Wayne is his best friend and we get more of his story in the 2nd episode, where he is fired from his job as a pizza delivery guy because the boss thinks Wayne is fucking the pizza.

I’m sorry, what?

So the first volume of “Rats” shows us Merle and Wayne and all the zany characters they know or meet along the way.

Volume 2 develops our two main characters more. Wayne meets his long absent father; Wayne also moves out of his mom’s house and in with Merle and his family; the identity of the REAL pizza fucker (spoiler - it wasn’t Wayne) is uncovered so eventually Wayne’s job/financial status improves. But Merle’s life starts to spiral when his wife leaves, taking their baby with her, and moves to Iowa (which is odd since in Volume 1 she said her family is in Calif).

MAJOR SPOILER: the whole series ends with Merle’s death.

What the actual fuck???????

While I do have quite a few issues with this series, the fact that I ACTUALLY CRIED twice while watching tells me that at least these guys know how to create characters the viewer can care about. My favorite ones were Merle, the Yoga/Anger Management guy, and Lee Li (played by my fav, Tuan Edwards, who always looks like he’s about to bust up laughing). The two times I cried were first when Merle worried he was turning into his father (i.e., not being a good dad) and second after his wife left him and he broke down. Charles Shaver did a fantastic job in the role.

I did get some honest amusement in this. The Anger Management character stole his scene with Wayne. And when Lee Li sets the alarm on his skateboard, I had to pause the DVD for a minute while I laughed.

That said…two of my biggest pet peeves were the length certain scenes or conversations lasted, and the dialogue improvisation. Every episode had a section, usually involving improvised dialogue, that went on for way too long. Did we really need half an episode taken up by who’s fucking who or how shitty someone is? Does the audience really need to know the deep details of how someone fucks a pizza? Shouldn’t the fighting commenced sooner between the group of guys at the pool hall instead of them talking about absolutely nothing or throwing barbs and insults at each other for fifteen minutes?

Fifteen minutes of nothing is the equivalent of a lifetime in movies and tv.

It’s hard to get invested in a movie or show when even the actors are just making shit up as they go. My instinct is telling me that there were story plot points to cover but how the actors arrived at each one involved so much meandering and repetitive, jungle-thick crap that Crocodile Dundee would have had a hard time finding the point. Please actually write 90% script and let the actors improv the remaining 10%, not the other way around.

EDIT: I just got confirmation from the director that 99% of the entire series was improvised. I feel so big brain right now…

AND WHAT WAS WITH ALL THE YELLING?? I understand sound being unbalanced, or not having access to high-tech microphones so one might need to project a little stronger to make sure the audio records. But gods dammit, folks. I think my neighbors three houses down could hear my tv. With the windows closed! Please stop projecting your dialogue as if you’re trying to talk over the mosh-pitting crowd at a GWAR concert.

All in all, it wasn’t totally bad. Rough around the edges? Yes. Amateur acting? Sure, mostly. Too much improvised dialogue that went on too long to say too little? Absofuckinglutely. Am I mad I watched it? No, not really. I do enjoy most projects that comes out of Atomic Swan. It’s clear the people working on these movies and shorts and everything in between love to make them, they love working with each other, and it shows. And there’s no way you can fault that.

1.5 hatchets (out of 5)

Here's a link to AS You Tube channel. Volume 1 episodes are uploaded there!

December 15, 2024

Christmas Capsule Reviews 2024 - Part II

Posted by PeggyC

Well, holy shit, I’m actually getting to the second installment of my Christmas Horror movie capsule reviews just a week after my first post. Who fucking knew I could get it together and actually be productive?

Part Two will cover the offerings of Amazon Prime.

Secret Santa 2018
A tense family get together for the Christmas holiday gets ugly. Someone has taken revenge on all the attendees and someone has to figure out what the hell is going on and stop it before they’re all taken down.

While Robert Kurtzman did the practical f/x for this flick (and they were pretty glorious), the blood spray was CGI and awful. The acting was what you might expect (aka not good) and the humor missed more often than hit. Interesting premise but the execution fell short, mostly because every character was a douchebag and we don’t give a shit what happens to them.

The Christmas Carol (narrated by V. Price) 1949
It’s a live action short film of the tale but Price narrates it. FUCKING GENIUS. It’s only 25 minutes, and that include the opening exposition from Price! Nice introduction to the tale if you or someone you know has never heard it or watched any film adaptation of it.

Did I mention Vincent Price? ‘Nuf said.

Christmassacre (2015) (AKA Secret Santa)
College kids throw a Secret Santa holiday party during finals at school. They don’t know a killer is on the loose with a very special list and murderous presents to dole out.

The longer this movie went on, the more I thought that I had already seen it. Possibly at a party a couple years earlier. But that’s ok. I already took notes, so I’ll just tell you what I think.

The practical effects are fun (the eye ball on the drill bit was a particular favorite). I think they put a filter on the film itself because it looked like a dirty print, giving it that 80s feel. The only character I really enjoyed was Dwayne - just a goofy awkward guy. But fun. The kills are good and the killers (SPOILER ALERT) ended up making me laugh. So I was pretty entertained.

Werewolf Santa 2023
Santa is bitten by a werewolf on Christmas Eve. And now internet blogger, Lucy, and her family set out to save Christmas

I mean…I only watched this for an update to a werewolf encyclopedia I’m helping with so do NOT at me.
The best thing about this movie was that JoeBob Briggs does the introduction, in cartoon form no less. But the rest of it feels pretty lackluster. Acting is awful but the British accents are a little difficult for me to understand, mostly because the audio is a bit muffled, and the actress who played Lucy mumbles A LOT. The characters are neither special nor very likable. And the film kept utilizing title cards to tell us what was happening. Not sure if that was a budgetary issues or lack of imagination to show it. Oh well. The practical effects are fun, though.

Santa Jaws 2018
Cody has a special pen that, whatever he draws, becomes real. He draws a Santa Shark that comes to life and starts killing his family and friends.

I really enjoyed the story on this one. Cody is a good character to get behind (you know, for a teenager). All the acting is actually decent, and really just the Mom character is awful enough to hate. The CGI effects are so bad they’re entertaining, and the deaths by Santa Jaws are funny as hell. Overall not a terrible little indie horror.

Let’s Kill Grandpa This Christmas 2017
A down on his luck pushover is lured into a plot to kill his wife’s grandfather on Christmas.

Average indie horror comedy. Lots of tropes and characters. While Gramp’s family wants him dead, I’m not sure why. He’s a hoot. Overall the film was fine, but it was a slog to get through to the end.

ALSO AVAILABLE (probably not a complete list but I got tired of looking):

All Through the House
Jack Frost (not THAT one) (or THAT one)
Holiday Hell
Krampus Origins
Deathcemeber
Mother Krampus
Jack Frost (THAT one)
Secret Santa
Rare Exports
13 Slay til Christmas

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

Stay tuned for the final installment next week!

December 8, 2024

Christmas Capsule Reviews 2024 – PART I

Posted by PeggyC

I’m trying to get an earlier start on some holiday horror flicks this year. The idea is to flog myself for three solid weeks instead of binging a bunch of crap over a couple days, like I did for 2023. I’m aiming for three separate posts - one for each streaming service I have (Tubi, Prime, and Shudder.) I’m sure there are more services I can access but let’s be real. Three is too much anyway!

Caveat: I won’t review anything I’ve already seen or reviewed before. I’m trying to hit the flicks that are new, or new to me. I’ll most likely leave a handful out because they were murder mysteries (crime spree/detective/thriller) shoehorned into the Christmas holiday.

This is my article. I do what I want.

TUBI

Killer Raccoons! 2! Dark Christmas in the Dark! (2020)

Newly released from prison, Casey plans to take a train out of his hometown to get a fresh start. Unfortunately, there is a group of criminals, and their killer raccoons, on the train with other ideas.

Apparently this is a parody of Dark Siege and Speed 2. If you say so…

As is expected from an indie horror/comedy, the acting is less than stellar; special effects belong on the short bus; the humor is juvenile. Now I’m the first to admit I’m secretly a 12-year-old boy. But when every line of dialogue (AND I MEAN EVERY LINE) has some kind of joke or double entendre or nudgenudgewinkwink in it, the “humor” dissipates very quickly – like a fart in the wind.

I did like the actor who played Casey, though – Yang Miller. And if you like cameos from one of the porn industry’s highly prolific sexual predators, then you’ll love this.

I did discover that this movie has similar or the same characters from 2005’s Coons! Night of the Bandits of the Night! So I guess it’s kind of a sequel, however unnecessary.

Santastein (2023)

One Christmas, little Max Causey accidentally kills Santa. Twelve years later, he perfects a method that will raise him from the dead!

Like the name implies, he’s taking parts from a bunch of bodies and Frankensteining a new Santa. And to guarantee it IS Santa, Max kept Santa’s brain. From twelve years prior. In a jar. Uh, okay…

While the sound is unbalanced, the cinematography is a thousand times better than the last flick. There are some great kills, honestly chilling moments, and gory goopy practical effects. Lots of fun.

The Christmas Tapes (2022)

A stranger, Geoff, shows up to a family’s home under the guise of a disabled car. But it turns out he wants to make the next great Christmas classic movie. It’s a found footage/SOV type of anthology film. And the stranger shows a handful of tapes to the family, hoping to inspire the aspiring daughter filmmaker-to-be.

Geoff is played by none other than Greg Sestero (oh, HAI Mark.) His acting is a little stilted but not bad. He plays four tapes for the family:

1. A travel vlogging couple summons a German scarecrow (very Blair Witch vibes.)

2. Dad making a vlog about being boxed up like a gift to be delivered to his kids by “Santa” and “Mrs. Claus.” Unfortunately, Santa originally worked for the Dad and got fired. As you might imagine, he’s not too happy about it.

3. Guy applies to a dating app then wakes up a prisoner to an unknown captor who’s put a chip in his head to get him to do what he wants. Very VR game visuals. And it’s SOOOPER SHORT.

4. Couple filming themselves as they move into their new home. But they’re not alone – a haunted Santa figurine wreaks havoc and they hire a paranormal investigator, who is an absolute HOOT (played by Dave Sheridan, he of Special Officer Doofy from Scary Movie fame.)

Geoff ends his terrorizing evening by giving the Santa figurine to the captive family.

(*clapboard smack* FIN)

A Christmas Slay (2015)

Santa obsessed psycho killer escapes from a local hospital and attacks a group of young people in a remote lodge.

Loved the practical effects. The film is filled with standard tropes, and it does drag quite a bit from time to time. I adored the psycho Santa, played by Frank Jakeman, who is a little cutie patootie IMHO. Not so original twist ending, though.

Once upon a Time at Christmas (2017)

A psychotic couple, dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, go on a murder spree.

Acting is a mixed bag. The crazy couple look pretty good but someone wanted to emulate Harley Quinn in Mrs. Claus’s hairstyle. Kinda pulled me out of the movie a bit.

Again, the cinematography is surprisingly good for an indie film, though it mostly consists of a ton of overhead shots. The blood CGI was total crap but the practical effects weren’t so bad.

The best thing, though, was the motivation or reasoning behind the killing spree. Hilarious and kinda clever. I won’t spoil it, though!

Nights Before Christmas (2019)

A four-years-later sequel to OUaTaC, the same murderous holiday couple run around killing people. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Basically the same critique as the first movie. They didn’t change a lot of the formula/tropes, except for the motivation. If you see the first movie, you don’t really need to watch this one.

If those little nuggets intrigue you enough to head over to Tubi (what is WRONG with you?) here’s a list of a bunch of other flicks you can watch there, too. Again, I’ve either reviewed these, seen them, or just overwhelmed myself with too much crap for one week and couldn’t bring myself to watch any more.

Nightmare on 34^th Street

The Killing Tree

All Through the House

Down the Chimney with a Shotgun*

Nutcracker Massacre

Christmas Blood (Juleblod)

ALL the indie Krampus crap (like Mother Krampus 1 and 2, Krampus:Origins, blah blah blah)

Good Tidings (this was more thriller pretending to be a slasher but not a bad flick)

*I do want to watch these but I’ll save those for just regular viewing another time.

Tubi is free, so head over there and indulge. If you dare…

June 7, 2024

Bathtub Shark Attack (2023) Movie Review

Posted by PeggyC

If anyone remembers, about a year ago I reviewed an indie horror movie called Spirit Animal. Brought to us by Nekroshark Films, writer/director Madeline Deering has done it again with today’s review offering, Bathtub Shark Attack.

Yes, you read that correctly.

By the time I get to the end of the review, I’m sure I’ll have figured out exactly how I feel about this flick. But for now, let’s get into some details.

The basic premise of this one is about a down-on-their-luck couple who moves into a really cheap apartment, something that seems to good to be true. And you’d be right. Because the caveat here is a creature lurking in the pipes that demands flesh and blood!

Pretty straight forward, right? I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot since it just came out last year. And since it’s an indie film, it might take a little longer to get distributed beyond its native Pennsylvania and Ohio where I was able to get a copy (thanks for grabbing one, Jeff, while I worked the table with David at Cinema Wasteland.)

If I remember correctly, Spirit Animal opened with the rando bartender breaking the fourth wall to tell us about the movie. Guess what? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it because he’s back. He explains the tape; he explains the premise; and, again, he tells us about the game you have to play when watching with friends. Since the movie was shot in “Splash-o-Vision” every time a shark picture pops up on screen, shoot your fellow movie watchers with the squirt gun you got with the movie.

I watched a bit of the Indie-Go-Go promo in the Special Features section of the DVD and Madeline explains that they wanted to make the GORIEST shark film ever. I wasn’t so sure about that until we get to the final scene. But I’m not about to relive that moment so you’ll have to get the DVD and witness it yourself.

Lush just released their new Halloween bath bomb!

I have to say, there are GALLONS of blood sloshing around in this movie. There are probably a minimum of a dozen kills that involve some body part being bitten off, crushed in (with a toilet plunger no less), run through either by glass shards or projectiles. This doesn’t count the half a dozen characters who were electrocuted! And while, perhaps, the f/x weren’t super polished, I always appreciate practical rubber and corn syrup over trash CGI any day.

And Madeline certainly delivered! The blood, not the shit CGI.

The story itself is pretty standard as far as horror tropes go. Evil cult, immortal monster, virgin sacrifice, etc. And I appreciate that Madeline knows how to build a story, piece by piece, so we’re guessing what’s going to happen next (or trying to puzzle it out along the way). I’m not saying there weren’t parts I’d figured out right off the bat, but despite some general lagging in the middle, I liked the set-up, development, and climax of the story.

The one problem I had was trying to figure out when this movie is supposed to be taking place. There were a lot of nineties references (Melrose Place, the Nintendo gaming system the stoners used) but Chad references his record store job and how everyone wants cassettes now, not vinyl. Which would be the eighties. Also the woman in the beginning had a rotary phone which basically went out of fashion in the seventies and eighties…

SEE, THESE KIND OF INCONSISTENCIES DERAIL MY ENJOYMENT!

Anyway…

The character development felt a little lax but if they wanted to make this the goriest shark film ever, you’re gonna need a lot of cannon fodder and the audience can’t care about cannon fodder, amirite? While the acting was not good, I did find myself rooting for Chad and Bill the Plumber. In fact, there’s a scene between them where, after the power goes out in the building, Bill is dumbfounded by the fuse box and when Chad unintentionally sneaks up on him, they both do this pretend kung-fu dance that actually made me pause the DVD because I was laughing pretty hard.

How many times do I have to tell you NO GARLIC before lovey dovey time?

In fact, I think I did all my laughing at the scenes with Chad and Bill – not always together, though. Each character had his amusing moments. Probably the best with Bill was the epic fight scene with the cult near the end, and Chad jerking off with his right hand while he worked a Shake Weight in his left.

I do have to mention, though, for an indie horror, there was a particular LACK of titty shots. And I’m not complaining! It’s a rather tired trope so to only have a couple was rather refreshing. Hey, I get why they’re popular and why people demand them. But it was nice to see a writer/director do things a little differently for a change.

But if you want gratuitous nudity, there is an extreme close up of some lady bits at the end (again, I’m not going to describe it any more than that for reasons that will become clear if you watch the movie) and some shark dick. So…

I will spoil one thing for you. The number of times you’re supposed to squirt your friends with a water pistol (that I caught anyway): seventeen. I say turn that into a different party game and make it like going to a Japanese hibachi grill. Fill those guns with sake and the person you aim at has to drink!

So while this is not one of the better indie films I’ve seen, I have to say Madeline stepped up her game and delivered a solid horror comedy. Maybe not worth multiple watches but I’m not mad at the time I spent watching it.

3 hatchets (out of 5)

February 19, 2024

Atomic Swan Films - A Review of Various Shorts PART 2

Posted by PeggyC

All righty. Let's continue our journey down Atomic Swan Films lane, shall we? Here we go with Part 2.

PEDIE THE CLOWN COLLECTION

I reviewed the Vampire Hunter one from 2019 and you can read that HERE. This short is called:

Pedie the Clown Sex Educator (2022)

(I’m already dying)

Again we have an instructional video from Pedie the Clown only this time, instead of prepping us for vampire hunting, he is teaching children about the female reproductive system. It’s a little like Pee Wee’s Playhouse but instead of talking furniture and childlike wonder, we get an oversexed pedo with a medical illustration poster.

The kids learn all about the clitoris, the honey hole, eating babies, bush, crabs, the word of the day “Vagina,” and how to effectively use your tongue for the little man in the canoe.

(What is happening??)

I just…okay, look. It’s no secret here at Cinema Headcheese that I have the humor of a 12-year old boy. So I find this short film FUCKING HILARIOUS. Nearly as funny as the Vampire Hunter one. Tuan Edwards has a lot of fun playing Pedie and it shows, especially when he starts laughing through his lines. If you have a good, irreverent sense of humor and are not easily offended, then Pedie the Clown series is for you!

This is from the Vampire Hunter short but I just needed you to get the idea of who/what Pedie is.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

INDIE FILMS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Some kind of movie host is presenting the greatest movies in the world that you’ve never seen. Hey, toot your own horn, man. Who else is gonna do it? We’re presented with three killer or mutated or weird ass animal movies and they are, sort of, connected.

Killer Raccoon Fish in 3D (2016)

We begin in Creaming, KY (because of COURSE we do) where a girl is yelling at a bunch of sculpture pieces that she claims got her fired. As she gyrates and sexy dances around/on them (this goes on for some time), a mysterious stranger sneaks up on her, knocks her out, and takes her to some kind of basement laboratory.

Dr. Doctor has (holy shit, it’s Chris Ringler. I know that guy!) kidnapped her and plans to combine her with a racoon and a fish to make, you guessed it, a killer raccoon fish. The creature wreaks havoc all over town but the Mayor refuses to cancel any public celebrations and activities. After he jerks off and takes a massive shit, credits roll.

If you had 3D glasses, this picture would make more sense.

Uh…wut? I honestly didn’t know a lot of what was going on because the audio is absolute shite. It was also the most nonsensical film of everything I’ve watched so far and that’s saying something. While the 3-D effect is not that bad, it’s actually easier to see what’s happening without the 3D glasses (which were included with the DVD – so that’s pretty cool).

Radioactive Skunk (I assume it’s 2016 as well)

The ending of the killer racoon fish movie is copied and pasted into the beginning of this one.

The Kid is speaking to…someone on the phone about going in to rescue his sister from Dr. Doctor (remember the gyrating chick from the previous film?) and if he doesn’t call back, contact Squint, a professional commando three days from retirement. There’s something else about a radioactive skunk but honestly, it doesn’t matter at all.

Naturally, The Kid doesn’t call back. Dr. Doctor has captured him and sprays him with some hallucinogenic liquid. But why though?

I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.

Squint finally shows up for the rescue mission, and a bunch of other commandos do, too. Shenanigans ensue – we assume because some title screens pop up about how the movie studio didn’t like how the big fight sequence turned out so they just explain what went down - and the Doctor escapes, after Squint is tricked into some chamber where he’s Brindleflied into another person.

Da FUQ?

Honestly, I have no idea what happened in this movie. The audio was terrible again so it was hard to hear all the pontificating exposition. Chris Ringler is fun as Dr. Doctor, especially while wearing a cooking pot on his head.

Quick little promo before the next killer animal film shows a conversation between two guys and a muppet about "Attack of the 6-foot Squirrel." My guess is this is some kind of promo…? Anyhoo, we finally get to the last of the killer animal shorts with:

Night of the Werebeaver (2019)

Three people are inside a small shelter playing cards while a couple guys patrol the perimeter. Apparently there’s a werebeaver on the prowl and it’s very dangerous. Also if you eat werebeaver shit (WHO IS DOING THIS??) you’ll get all high or something. So when the werebeaver finally rears its ugly (Halloween mask) head, pretty much only Corporal Half-Sack can fight it. But the creature just flips him off and scampers out into the night.

Uh..wut?

Most of the audio is gods awful; Half-Sack is just scream-improvising his lines; and there’s really no point to any of this.

I got nothing else.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

EXPERIMENTAL TALES (2023)

I reviewed a bunch of shorts in this collection already (listed below). There were in a different collection called Tales of Time but seemed to have just been added into this new set. DOESN’T MATTER.

- 357

- Experiment 7734

- seven/eleven

- The Longest 20 Seconds

- Wet

I already reviewed the first four that you can read HERE and "Wet" was reviewed in Part One of this two part post, which you can read HERE. The two new shorts I watched are:

What is the Nightcrawler? (2023)

The same newscaster from Canado is reporting on the so-called Nightcrawler, a creature that puts victims in a trance and then has its way with them. After his special guest, the janitor, talks on camera, the newscaster quits because his job sucks.

I mean…it all felt improvised. Some stuff was kind of funny; most was not. A lot of words and ideas are thrown around but don’t really work together. It’s like trying to put together a puzzle with pieces from ten different sets.

The Executive

Basically this is some kind of producer looking at a clip from Manila Extract. He thinks the idea for this flick is dumb. He’d rather see a guy who puts on kids shows after he’s gotten out of prison (i.e., Pedie the Clown). That has more substance!

The producer is played by Tuan Edwards who is also Pedie the Clown. Uh, this just felt like filler. But hell, I’m all for more Tuan Edwards!

That wraps up Part 2. Atomic Swan Films brings us some crap, and some funny and less bad crap in all shapes and sizes. Not the best out there in filmland but certainly not the worst. Honestly their films are mostly enjoyable to watch, and at least useful just to have some background noise on while you masturbate and you don’t want your roommates to hear you.

Just keep your eyes and ears open as I'm sure this won't be the last ASF offerings I'll review.

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December 19, 2025

Camp Blood Christmas - Movie Review

September 14, 2025

Atomic Swan Web Series - RATS (Volume 1 and 2)

December 15, 2024

Christmas Capsule Reviews 2024 - Part II

December 8, 2024

Christmas Capsule Reviews 2024 – PART I

June 7, 2024

Bathtub Shark Attack (2023) Movie Review

February 19, 2024

Atomic Swan Films - A Review of Various Shorts PART 2

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