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July 17, 2010

Defending Mel Gibson... Sort Of

We've all been there. Everyone has been in an argument in which the other person took things too far. They said something horrible about you. They said something about your family or your kids. They said they'd screw you over so bad you'd never recover. You lose it and fight back. It's a natural thing to do. This week we saw someone connected to the highest peaks in Hollywood do something so despicable that I can't even begin to share my level of disgust with this person. The person I'm speaking of is Oksana Grigorieva.

What? Not Mel Gibson? Look, Mel has done his share of stupid things. Yes, he's probably a racist. I'd add anti-Semite, but that's just redundant. We've heard that he said that Jews start all the wars and we heard him say that his ex-girlfriend is going to be raped by an entourage of African-American gentlemen or something to that effect. I say probably a racist because the use of a word doesn't make you racist. In all honesty, I've used it. I don't use it in anger, but at times I sing along in the car to "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta," and if you've ever heard it, it's too catchy to not sing, and it's impossible to edit a word that's fifty percent of the lyrics without feeling like a moron. Besides, Whoopi Goldberg came to Mel's defense, and if Whoopi says he's not racist, I'd have to believe her. After all, she's black and named Goldberg. Do you really need more proof?

So, after hearing all of these tapes and admittedly laughing hysterically at Mel's overdramatics, I, like many others, was trying to decide whether or not he was losing it. The more I listened, the more I realized that I have been where he is. I have had my own Oksana. I have been so upset that I didn't know what to do. Mel is in that place. She did something to him, and that's the side of the story we aren't seeing.

Just listen to how cool and collected she is. Do you know why? It's because she knows that she is being recorded, and she knows that she has a payday coming from Radar Online, and I'm sure she's hoping to get one from Mel. We never hear the beginning of the conversation. We don't hear what made Mel angry, just the anger. For all we know, Oksana could have spent ten minutes berating Mel and his seven children from his first marriage. She could have been telling him that he'd never see their daughter again. I've heard that before, and nothing gets at a dad like a threat involving his kid. We will also never see a fair representation of what a fight sounds like between these two. Oksana might be batshit crazy and swing her fists. This takes me to the accusation of violence.

If Mel Gibson hit Oksana in the mouth and knocked teeth loose, why wasn't he arrested? She's obviously not afraid of him. That thought is out the window. Did she swing at him first? Was it an accident? Did it even happen, and if so, why didn't the dentist report it as required by California law? I'll tell you why. It's the same reason that I know Kobe Bryant, who I am definitely not a fan of, didn't rape anyone. The accuser in that case was willing to testify against Kobe in a civil case, but not a criminal case. It's all about getting a payday. Also, abusers don't start in their fifties. If Mel was an abuser, we would have heard some kind of a story by now. It's just like when comedian Robert Schimmel's wife accused him of domestic violence at almost sixty. That doesn't just spring up out of nowhere. This is pattern behavior, and Mel has no such pattern.

The thing I see here is greed. Oksana is an attention whore. Don't believe me? Then why would a forty-year-old woman pose for a lingerie shoot? She is a manipulator. The issues between her and Mel should have stayed between them and in a courtroom. She is seeking fame in the worst possible way. She is not a person that knows how to function in a relationship. Mel and his ex-wife were together for close to three decades. Sure, it failed in the end, but that's a damn good run. Oksana was married three times in eight years. I'm going to guess that she thinks it's the guy's fault in each divorce.

Look, I'm not saying who is right or wrong. I don't know the whole story, but the point is that none of us do. To call Mel Gibson crazy is harsh. We don't know the context of the situation. I'm not saying that he is or isn't a bad person. I don't know that. I can, however, say with confidence that Oksana Grigorieva is not a good person. A good person wouldn't drag this out into the public where her daughter might someday see her father in an incorrect light. I do think one good thing came out of all of this. Enjoy Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale. Sure, it's silly, but it's all in good fun.

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