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July 28, 2010

Movie Review: Twilight (2008)

by Hollis Jay

Here we go folks; I have finally decided to vent my feelings about the abominable Twilight movies, and all other Twilight related material. First, to use the word vampire to relate to any of these movies would be unnecessary and irrational. For these are not the vampires of legend, ones who make children shiver under the covers in their beds or make their victims scream in fear. Give me a good vampire -one who pulls the gore and guts out of their victims without hesitation and thought. Vampires like those portrayed in 30 Days of Night and the novels of Brian Lumley. These vampires have no mercy, and they do not shine and shimmer in the light. They certainly do not sit longingly staring at their human girlfriends in fields of flowers. They rip and roar through their cities and towns and let nothing stand in their way.

Buy Twilight on DVD or Blu-ray

What happened to the original vampires, as brought into light by Nosferatu? Did Meyer's just decide that they were too realistic for her Mormon based world? How could we just have abandoned them for these beings that don't even drink the blood of humans? Isn't that one of the characteristics that vampires are supposed to have? The Twilight series is nothing but a piece of moronic trash, laid out for the masses to indulge upon. The story that Meyer's has created is dribble based on cheesy romance novels and attempts to heighten her own religious views. For, Twilight abandons all hope of even the slightest idea of redemption for a predictable and convenient story line of romantic obsession. Bella is willing to do anything for Edward. She is even ready to die for him. He, in turn, isolates her from not only her friends but her family and in essence controls her through her continual want of him.

Now, I realize that this sex before marriage philosophy was brought on primarily due to the Twilight's series Mormon author-but come on when did supernatural and/or paranormal movies and/or…here's a stretch for Twilight…horror movies not include sex? I honestly feel sorry for all of these women-women when the books are primarily written for young teens-who are lacking in reality and romance so badly that they have to covet the lives of these two dense individuals: Bella and Edward. Kristina Stewart's idea of acting is staring blankly at the screen, shriveling her nose up, and trying to act like anything outside of herself is going on. With her dumb mouth gaping looks, she's bound to be a favorite amongst American fans. Her counterpart is worse. Watching Robert Pattinson act is like watching two pieces of bread resting on a kitchen counter. Boring as hell and devoid of all emotion. I've seen clay animation figures that show more substance. But, I digress. It is this yearning to see these two individuals have sex that had led an entire band of fans, plus a production crew of millions to create and associate themselves with these films.

I would also like to mention that the books are some of the worst "literature" (and I am using this word loosely) that I have ever read. I was only able to read a few pages of the first book without throwing it across the room in a blind and wild rage. For while Stephanie Meyer is profiting from these works of absolute garbage, and the actors pockets grow fat from acting in scenes in which their characters are empty and devoid of meaning real and talented writers are searching for their way to get into the business. I guess the lesson that I have learned here is to remember your demographics because if the Twilight movies are a hit the American audience will surely pick any team to assert their own identities.

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