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August 3, 2013

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013, Blu-ray)

Reviewed by: James DePaolo





When the first Hatchet film came out, people were going on and on about the old school fun of it and some critics went way overboard on the film. Then came part II and this bogus “ support unrated horror” campaign that people acted like that film was the first film ever that had MPAA problems. You may see where this review seems to be heading, Hatchet is one of those franchises that the hype and talk outshine the films. Here we are at III and I will be honest, gone is the cheer-leading and hype because I feel even the biggest supporters will admit that this film is pretty bad.

Unlike the last two installments that had an element of fun, somewhat, this film has no personality or heart and just feels like all involved went through the motions. III picks up right at the end of II with Marybeth fighting off Crowley and thinking she killed him and going to the police with her story. Well once there, they think she is crazy and lock her up for questioning about who died. Well, when the Sheriff and his team decide to go investigate her story is when they find out that Victor is not dead.

This film had so much nerd potential, and failed. You had Mears and Hooper on screen at the same time and they failed to make that seem like a major deal, the scene where they fight is so lackluster and just devoid of feeling and heart, that you just almost wish the scene did not exist. The kills in this film are nothing that you have not seen in the other two films, and this time Hatchet just feels like every other film and has lost the Victor story in favor of just giving us boring story-lines, characters that only know one line of dialogue and that is just pure nonsense. The script had to be written on Krystal or White Castle napkins. Danielle Harris is still stuck in that same role that she does over and over, and this time it is just as bad as the other 50 she did before it. The ending shot of this film is so fitting; I felt the same damn way. I think this film is sign enough that the franchise is over and dead. But, I have a feeling that we are going to get another one in some form and fashion. This film played around 81 minutes and the first half hour was all story based, and it just felt like it went around in circles. That each character is either going to drop 4 F bombs or makes a decision that has no logic and seems pre-Scream mentality.

If you seen the trailer to the film and think this film is going to be awesome, stick to the trailer. This film was pathetic, and the only reason it got green-lit was because it is a Hatchet film. If this film had any other name it would be direct to DVD and in the Wal-Mart cut out bin within weeks. Horrible acting, I am not sure if there was a script or if this was improv night for the direct to DVD dinner theater. There is a little cameo in the film that I will not ruin, that felt cheap and just awful when you hear the dialogue they spew out. This film was a waste of time, at this point going through this film I wish Crowley would have found me.

4 out of 10

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