Movie Review: SHHHH (2018)

I understand the appeal of horror and comedy mashing it up. I also understand the absolute HATRED of the mixed genre, because it’s either very good or fucking awful. I’m gonna have to go with the latter for my review of this flick.

SHHHH stars James Henderson as Harris, a struggling film maker in Los Angeles (how original and unexpected.) While trying to make ends meet with his job at a crappy video store—do those still exist?—he spends most of his spare time, when not making movies, with his mom at the theater. They love to go see films together, even lesbian vampires feeling each other up and licking each other’s nipples. And while they do have fun, there’s always some asshole ruining the experience: the food wrapper crinkler, the guy on his phone the whole time, the talkers, the super tall people who sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU despite all the other empty seats...it’s enough to drive Harris to murder.

Movie Review: The Lesson (2017, Blu-ray)

                 Review By:
                 James D.







”The Lesson” centers on Fin and Joel who are juvenile delinquents. They are every parent’s worst nightmare in the way that they conduct themselves daily. Fin lives with his negligent brother Jake and Jake’s girl Mia. Fin views Mia like a mother figure. Their teacher one day has enough and snaps. Mr Gale decides to abduct Fin and Joel. He straps them into chairs at a desk containing two dictionaries. This desk is the setting for the majority of the film as Mr. Gale is out to teach them the lesson he has been trying to teach them in class.

This film tackles how unruly the youth have become and how teachers are reaching their breaking points trying to handle them. The education system constantly comes under fire for the abuse teachers deliver on kids, but we never hear what could have provoked a teacher to do it. As a former “ class clown” in school and general screw up from 3rd grade to 12th, I can attest that teachers get a bad rap and deserve more credit for their jobs. This film opened my eyes to what torture a teacher does go thru, and it also opened my eyes that in a situation that could cause harm, who knows if a child can change. The acting by Hands as Mr Gale is extraordinary. He plays this very unhinged character that we are also scared of snapping even worst. There is a tinge of torture porn thrown in, but nothing too gratuitous or obnoxious. This film centers on a teacher wanting two students to learn their lessons and try to be better people.

Movie Review: The Mutilator (1984, Blu-ray)

Now that the busy season of the hubby’s business is over and October has wrapped up, I can get back to my reviews. And I’m excited to jump back in with a film from the most tubular of decades - the 80s!

The Mutilator (original title Fall Break) begins with the most unfortunate of events. Little Ed Jr. decides that the best birthday present he can give his father is to clean all his dad’s guns. We’ve all been there. Checking down the sight of a rifle and pulling the trigger to make sure everything’s clean and accidentally killing our moms, amirite?

Needless to say, Ed Sr.’s cheese slides a little off his cracker when he comes home to find his wife dead and his spawn responsible. 

Years later, Ed is in college and the relationship with his father is basically nonexistent. Until now. He wants Ed to close up the beach condo for the winter. And how convenient because Ed and his friends are on fall break (ahhh…now the original title makes more sense!) and have nothing to do. So why not help close up the place while enjoying time at the beach?

Because Ed’s dad is a fucking nut job and wants them all dead!! Particularly Junior, of whom he dreams about killing all the time.

Movie Review: Cannibal Holocaust (1980, Grindhouse Releasing)

...ah, yes!! It was a sweltering mid-80's summer sizzle, when this viewer, per chance, received an updated mail-order flyer from one of this ardent collector's numerous bootleg 'connections' (...my favorite, at the time, was the exclusive and 'rare' bootleg offerings from published & respected horror auteur and spokesperson, Chas. Balun); it was a time, genre-wise, on the final gasp of gutsy theatrical releases...those films, daring not to adorn themselves with one of those pish-posh MPAA ratings...wearing instead, the seductive banner, sternly reading, "...there is no explicit sex in this picture; however there are scenes of extreme violence, which may be considered shocking. No one under 17 will be admitted". And an eye-rolling 'ya-dada, ya-dada, ya-dada...'. George Romero called it out, inaugurally, with his zombie masterpiece from 1978, "Dawn of the Dead", and of course, anything produced by Italian goremeister Lucio Fulci, post-"Psychic", was domestically labeled as such (..."Zombie", "City of the Living Dead/The Gates of Hell", "The Beyond", "House by the Cemetery", et al.). The quirky 1982 Spanish slasher, "Pieces" wore that badge of proudly shameless honor, as did the gory 1985 domestic splatter classic, "The Mutilator". And of course, later, in what was considered the 'year of the living dead', so did 1985's "Re-Animator", and the George Romero classic, "Day of the Dead"...with some of these aforementioned 'unrated' titles, wimping out, by quickly being pulled from theaters, and later re-released by 'hard R' versions...

...and yet, despite regular engagement of such deliciously visceral, higher-profile theatrical genre fare...for this ardent devotee of the crimson-drenched macabre, as probably was the case for most people of similar ilk, there was always that underlining desire to push that visceral threshold even further, and at the same time, a veiled and hesitant-to-admit apprehension to do so. Now, admittedly around this time, this viewer had indeed been 'hovering' over an at-the-time-only-available-underground title...intriguingly, albeit graphically entitled, "Cannibal Holocaust"; it compellingly and daringly claimed that this one was the 'one that goes all the way!!' Oh, really?? Considering the exploitative breakdown of the title...we're talking 'cannibals', and a 'holocaust', right...as well as the suggestive banner, describing how far the film supposedly goes...well, that's an impressive boast...oh hell, I'm game!!...

Movie Review: Bloody Moon (Blu-ray)

                                               Review By:
                                               James D.





Jess Franco's Bloody Moon is his stab at the slasher film genre. Our main character, Miguel, we learn early on that he was sent away for murdering a woman who was turning him on. Well, years pass and he seems that he is healed and is set free from the asylum. He comes back to the scene of the crime which now is a resort his family owns and soon after he is back as you can guess, the body count starts to rise. Is Miguel truly healed, or is something worst going on? Bloody Moon is not Franco's best work nor is it anywhere near his worst, this film lies somewhere in the middle. It seems that when Franco goes away from his comfort zone as in films like this, he does try to resort to some of his old tricks which make this film really shine above your standard 80s slasher.

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013, Blu-ray)

Reviewed by: James DePaolo





When the first Hatchet film came out, people were going on and on about the old school fun of it and some critics went way overboard on the film. Then came part II and this bogus “ support unrated horror” campaign that people acted like that film was the first film ever that had MPAA problems. You may see where this review seems to be heading, Hatchet is one of those franchises that the hype and talk outshine the films. Here we are at III and I will be honest, gone is the cheer-leading and hype because I feel even the biggest supporters will admit that this film is pretty bad.

Unlike the last two installments that had an element of fun, somewhat, this film has no personality or heart and just feels like all involved went through the motions. III picks up right at the end of II with Marybeth fighting off Crowley and thinking she killed him and going to the police with her story. Well once there, they think she is crazy and lock her up for questioning about who died. Well, when the Sheriff and his team decide to go investigate her story is when they find out that Victor is not dead.

Movie Review: L'Interieur (2011)

by Peggy Christie

Based on a short Twitter exchange with Paul Soter a few months ago (the red-headed adorable member of Broken Lizard, who brought us Super Troopers and Beerfest), I decided to give a French horror movie a try, despite the fact that, in the past, I’ve abhorred French horror.

Honestly, I can’t say whether I regret it or not. 

L’Interieur is about a pregnant woman, Sarah. She and her husband get into a car accident – she and their unborn baby survive, he does not. Flash forward a few months and Sarah discusses her scheduled delivery with the doctor. I don’t think it’s a c-section but apparently the delivery WILL be happening the next morning. All she needs to do is go home and get some rest.

The best laid plans…

Movie Review: Onna Harakiri Sakuhinshu (1990)

Written by Yuuri Sunohara

Starring Yuuri Sunohara

This was my first personal foray into the seedy underbelly of Japanese fetish cinema, aside from a vomit-fetish porn I stumbled across while looking for Harry Potter books online once. And I must confess, before viewing it I had no idea there was a whole and distinct sub-genre of horror dealing exclusively with ritualistic suicide, otherwise known as Harakiri. Just another reason why I love Japanese cinema, those crazy bastards just have no boundaries when it comes to inappropriate shit. I'll simply refer to it as “art house snuff”, that has a nice ring to it and gives it an air of integrity.

"The Definitive Document Of The Dead" Tears The Flesh Off Blu-ray And DVD This November!!

ON DVD AND 1500-COPY LIMITED BLU-RAY!! -->GEORGE ROMERO AND ROY FRUMKES – TOGETHER AGAIN!

Seminal horror filmmaker Roy Frumkes (THE STEPFATHER, STREET TRASH) created one of the more infamous documentaries when he worked directly with his longtime friend George Romero on DOCUMENT OF THE DEAD. Now, Roy's celebration of all things DAWN gets re-edited, updated, and remastered! THE DEFINITIVE DOCUMENT OF THE DEAD is and all-new version of the classic 'making of' project based on 1978's DAWN OF THE DEAD!

    George A. Romero, director of the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, is one of the horror genre's most celebrated directors. The original 1979 version of DOCUMENT OF THE DEAD was an intimate look at Romero's creative process, with an outstanding collection of interviews, effects demonstrations (courtesy of makeup artist Tom Savini), and behind-the-scenes footage from Romero's classic 1978 zombie film, DAWN OF THE DEAD.

Movie Review: Famine (2012)

One of the more anticipated films for us here at Cinema Head Cheese is without a doubt Ryan Nicholson's Famine. Luckily enough, I've gotten a chance to see it before it hits home video and I must say the Canadian King of Splatter has done it yet again.

Every four years at Sloppy Secondary High School the kids hold a 24-hour famine to bring awareness to the millions starving children in various third-world countries around the globe. At the time of the last famine, Mr. Balszack was the victim of a horrible accident thanks to klutzy student trying to put the moves on him. Balszack is one of several possible suspects slaughtering the students during the fundraiser. Donning a mascot suit as "The Nailer" our maniac is on a mission to get things very messy at Sloppy Secondary.

Movie Review: A Day of Violence (2010)

So many films attempt to push the envelope on sex and violence. I find in much of my viewing it's movies from Asia (Japan and Korea especially) that either toe the line or march right over it. There haven’t been too many British films to come across our desks that made us cringe like the offerings from those countries... that is, until now with Darren Ward’s unrelentingly brutal crime flick A Day of Violence.

Mitchell (Nick Rendell), our “hero”, is a low-end criminal who makes his living beating and murdering anyone stupid enough to not cough up the dough they owe to him and his gang. One day during a routine collection Mitchell splits open the cushions of a creep played by the legendary Giovanni Lombardo Radice (Cannibal Ferox, City of the Living Dead) and discovers 100,000 in cash. Of course he takes the loot and runs off. Unbeknownst to Mitchell there’s some evidence he’s the culprit – thanks to a camera phone.

Movie Review: The Turnpike Killer (2012)

There seems to be a lot of filmmakers these days making “throwback” films or movies that have nods to popular cult films from the 1980s and 1970s. The slasher sub-genre has seen many attempts to capture the greatness of many 70’s 80’s favorites. There are some solid ones that I’ve enjoyed, in particular – High Tension, Laid to Rest, and Hatchet. All three of the directors of those films had a firm grasp on what made nasty 80’s horror great, because they lived it like I did - perusing video stores for the goriest film they could find. The writing and directing team of Evan Makrogiannis and Brian Weaver aren’t much different; they just did the same thing successfully on a much smaller budget with their shocker The Turnpike Killer.

The Turnpike Killer doesn’t waste any time attempting to pull the audience in. Even if it’s dragging you as your nails snap off. If you happen make it past the grueling and outrageously bloody opening sequence in psycho-killer John Beest’s (Bill McLaughlin) basement, plenty more atrocities await you during The Turnpike Killers run-time. One thing that really stood out early on to compliment the savagery was the interior of his vile lair of horrors .You could practically smell the pungent oder of shit, puke and dry blood left from his victims coating the walls. If you like it splattery, The Turnpike Killer delivers very often.