Movie Review: Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

Week after week, I see reviews from our wonderful writers. Sometimes they love the movies they're sent for review, and sometimes they struggle through some of the worst pieces of garbage a human being can lay eyes on. That's the nature of this movie review business. Some great, some good, and so much bad. Most of the movies land on my doorstep, and I'll admit to fishing through for titles I may want to watch before passing them along for Jeff to dole out. I don't keep all of the good ones. That would be selfish, and I don't have enough time to get through them all. It would also be selfish to avoid all of the bad ones, so occasionally, I bite the bullet. This time, I choked down a big pile of shrapnel.

I have to say that I'm baffled to see movies like this still being made. I don't know who still watches softcore porn. Don't be fooled. That's exactly what this is. I didn't realize that when I decided to watch it. I truly didn't know this stuff still existed. I just thought it was some kind of stupid parody. Does everyone know about the internet? I assume so, if you're reading this. They have real adult films on real easy to find websites. In fact, two days after I watched this, I saw the lead actress on the front page of one of those sites. Don't worry, my wife approves. We're a progressive couple, and I frankly prefer her to anyone I see in any video. Anyway, when you can see the actors you want to see on the adult sites... forget it. Someone is obviously buying this stuff.

Movie Review: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers & Evil Toons

As a lifelong cult film enthusiast when I think of the name Fred Olen Ray I think of an immense body of work that has been almost solely devoted to the making as many wild B-movies as possible over the past three decades. This guy just doesn’t rest. With movies like Beverly Hills Vamp, Bad Girls Go to Mars and Attack if the 60 Foot Centerfolds you know he has a sense of humor to go along with a love for 50’s and 60’s schlock. Ray’s company Retromedia in conjunction with Bayview have just given two of Ray’s classics from the 80’s, both starring the infinitely hot Michelle Bauer (Nightmare Sisters, Night of the Living Babes) in TITular roles, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and Evil Toons. After being out of print for the past few years these titles can be had by anyone into cheesy jokes, boobs and horror.

When a chainsaw worshipping cult led by none other than” Leatherface” himself, Gunnar Hansen (who’s known simply here as the “Stranger”) starts making itself known by trolling the bars of the inner-city, johns start winding up dead following some illicit activity with ladies of the night. Mercedes (Bauer) does the brunt of the slaughtering for the crew by just being her alluring, sexy self and these horny dumdums naturally go ga ga for a chance to get off by the busty babe. Scream queen legend Linnea Quigley plays our oft naked protagonist who is essentially the key to taking down these chainsaw juggling freaks.

Movie Review: Glass Trap (2005)

Once upon a time there was a building made of glass in Los Angeles. This building ordered some potted plants for their lobby. These plants were delivered from a nursery… a special nursery. That, my friends, is the premise of Glass Trap, directed by Fred Olen Ray under one of his many pseudonyms, and “written” by Brett Thompson. Needless to say the operative word in the title is ‘trap.’ As in, I was trapped by the stupidity of this movie or I felt like gnawing my arm off like it was in a trap to escape the flick. Good golly, it is absolutely amazing what a few dedicated people can do with a horrible premise, no money and less time. So, without further adieu, may I present the film that set back independent movie street cred thirty years… Glass Trap.

Buy Glass Trap on DVD!