Movie Review: Pound of Flesh (2015)

Oh no!  Someone has stolen Jean-Claude Van Damme's kidney and now he is out to get it back!  Okay, so I know it's already a silly premise but that only gets this goofy ride started.  This movie felt like it was trying entirely too hard to have any semblance of heart to it.  I usually don't have anything that spoils the movie in reviews but I may let some things slip in this one.

Deacon(Van Damme) wakes up in a tub of ice and realizes his kidney was stolen.  He calls some friends who may be able to help him track down his missing organ.  Deacon's brother George(John Ralston) shows up to the hotel room as well but Deacon's friends coerce him into leaving.  Deacon's closest friend Kung(Aki Aleong) tries to convince Deacon to let it go.  The people that stole the kidney left money and medication and it may be better to let this go.  Deacon declined, not saying why he wanted it back so bad.  Kung allows his bodyguard to accompany Deacon(he gets killed entirely too fast).

How did Deacon end up in that hotel room?  Well he agreed to go have a drink with woman he saved from a mean boyfriend.  Are these people sure they want that kidney?

Fast forward now to why Deacon wants his kidney back.  It's to save his brother's daughter(Adele Baughan).  Really?  You're supposed to donate a kidney to a family member and you're out doing shots hoping to get some cooz?  And why not say that at the beginning?  Kung was way more helpful once he found that out.  What a dumb reveal.  Nobody is watching this film to be blown away by twists in the story telling.  They don't stop there with trying to shock the audience.

This was a dumb movie.  If you want crazy action and some Van Damme fight scenes while he wears his sunglasses at night, go for it.  He's a bit more creative with the obligatory splits he does in all of his movies so that was cool.

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Movie Review: Swelter (2013)

Directed by Keith Parmer

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Smeary, shot-on-video photography. Internationally acclaimed martial artist Jean-Claude Van Damme not lifting a finger. Situations that call for action being talked away. Yes, we're in the world of straight-to-disc low-budget action adventure films where, true to form, there's actually very little action. Those things cost money!

To whit: Bishop (Lennie James) is just a guy making an honest living as a sheriff in a Nevada small town hell hole called Baker. His memory is wiped clean due to a gunshot injury to the head. The town's boozy sawbones (Alfred Molina) warns Bishop that he may not have long to live, as one of the fragments could move inside his brain and render him a vegetable. What Bishop has forgotten, on account of his brain injury, was he was part of a hotshot group of professional criminals who raided a nearby Las Vegas casino 10 years prior to the tune of $10 million (the DVD sleeve SAYS $100 million, but this reviewer digresses). The big news is that said group, led by Van Damme has been sprung from prison and are on the way to reclaim the missing millions.

As the title suggests, Swelter tries to cash in on its modern-day western setting by conjuring up a sweaty, claustrophobic atmosphere. It just doesn't get there. All of the bad guys insist on wearing heavy, black suits in the manner of Reservoir Dogs and kvetching about the heat. (Those familiar with Southern California landscapes will see signs in the background that the film was shot in the winter time.) Characters roam from one shabby interior setting to the next, the extensive dialogue not furthering the plot …

Movie Review: The Expendables 2 (2012)

Directed by Simon West
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth and Randy Couture
Run Time: 103 minutes

The team from The Expendables is back in action once again and this time they sign on for a mission that looks like an easy paycheck for Barney and his band of old-school mercenaries. But things go sour, and one of their own is killed by a psychotic terrorist-for-hire. Hell bent for payback, they cut a swath of destruction through enemy territory and mow down everything in their path. In the midst of the mayhem, they must also shut down an unexpected threat in the nick of time- preventing five tons of weapons grade plutonium from falling into the wrong hands, as well as save a village that is being tortured and used as slave labor by the mercenaries.

Movie Review: Nowhere To Run (1993, Blu-ray)

During the late 80's Jean Claude Van Damme gradually rose to fame with the popular martial arts films, Bloodsport and Kickboxer. It wasn't too long after both these titles hit that the "Muscles from Brussels" became one of the most sought after action film commodities in Hollywood. Van Damme would maintain a steady stream of hit films (Double Impact,Death Warrant and Lionheart), never really smashing box-office records but filling his pockets up enough to have the action star mantra. Nowhere to Run, while it is an action film, was somewhat of a departure to his straight forward beat-em ups.

Buy Nowhere To Run on Blu-ray and DVD