Movie Review: The Farm (2009)

I wish I could tell you what The Farm was about. I also wish I cared. It starts out with some guy telling two other guys something about death and life, and then they make some sort of deal. The two guys drive around, and I start to suspect that they're in Ireland because of the accents and the driver being on the right side of the car. Yay for me. I couldn't hear most of what was said in the film, which might be another yay for me. I can only assume that it wasn't worth hearing.

Buy The Farm on DVD

Brain Damage isn't known for Oscar caliber movies. I'm not even sure they're known for watchable movies. I remember one of my early encounters with them called Terror Toons. I still can't shake that dingleberry off my brain. Hell, I'm in a movie they distributed, and that's even tough to sit through. Okay, back to the original mess I sat through.

Movie Review: Cropsey (2009)

Childhood legends are created to terrify us into being good. There's the Boogeyman, the stranger with the lost dog and a pocket full of candy, and even Santa Claus. On Staten Island in New York, there was the legend of Cropsey. Cropsey was supposedly a mental patient who escaped a place called Willowbrook and murdered children in the night. The filmmakers recall hearing all of that when they were young, and they talk to a few people about it. That's about the first ten minutes, and then they go on to something else that's not really related, but they try to connect it. Most of the documentary has nothing to do with this legend, which did nothing less than annoy the bejesus out of me for the entirety of the film.

Buy Cropsey on DVD

Mr. Skin's Women in Prison DVD Triple Feature!

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A Wham! Blam! Slam! Triple-Header of
Sleazy Women-in-Prison Epics now on DVD! 

Pre-Order WOMEN IN PRISON Triple Pack  Now!

Movie Review: The Last Rites of Ransom Pride (2010)

Sometimes actors make indie features because they need the money. Sometimes they make indie features because they believe in the project. And sometimes they make indie features because the director has photos of them engaged in coitus with some sort of farm animal or a dead body. I prefer to think that's how director Tiller Russell was able to get such marginal Star Power as Kris Kristofferson and Peter Dinklage to make (ultimately) pointless cameos in his pet project "The Last Rites of Ransom Pride".

Buy The Last Rites of Ransom Pride on DVD or Blu-ray

I picked this one up on the cheap due both to the blurb on the back - something I never do - and the cast list. In addition to Kristofferson and Dinklage, the film "stars" Dwight Yoakum, Scott Speedman, and Jason Priestly - although I have to admit I don't recall seeing Priestly in the film at all. To be fair, I was pretty numb about halfway through the film, so for all I know there could have been a scene where a circus elephant sodomizes a hippie and I probably wouldn't remember. 

Movie Review: Antichrist (2009)

Some movies are just bizarre. They throw things at you that don't entirely make sense. They like to pretty well fuck with your head. Antichrist is definitely one of those movies. It starts simply enough. A couple (Willem Dafoe and Chorlotte Gainsbourg) are having crazy wild sex in the shower and on the bed while they think their son is taking a nap. Unfortunately, he is wide awake and decides to climb out of his crib. Excited by the snow he sees through an open window, he ventures out and falls three stories to his death. Let me tell you, that's a great scene to watch while your two-year-old is asleep in the next room in your fifth floor apartment. Awesome.

Buy Antichrist on DVD

Anyhow, the rest of the movie deals with the couple's grief and their attempt to deal with it. It is segmented into chapters which are lead by title cards made of interesting artwork. Early on, we see the husband, a therapist known only as He, counseling his wife (She). He admits that this is frowned upon by the psychiatric community, but he knows what's best for her.

Have You Visited The Blue Cheese Lately?

Sure, it's not for everyone, but sometimes it's fun to look back at the adult fare of yesteryear. Remember the 80s? It was a different time. You spent many minutes fast forwarding past the storyline to get to the good stuff. Oh, and the hair. Lots of hair.

Well, our own Heather Drain likes to look at the stories and go in depth in her reviews. Check out her latest review of Hot Dreams, and look around at the other goodies while you're at it. It's NSFW, so be alert for the boss, and enjoy!

Movie Review: Bob Dylan Revealed (2011)

I have always been fascinated with Bob Dylan. Not that everything he has touched has been gold, but his work has always been unique, with no real compromises. Like Orson Welles (my other favorite iconic artist), he seems to me to have always been in search of something and never willing to repeat himself, no matter the risk or lack of rewards. So I was thrilled when this disk landed in my mailbox, courtesy of the secret underground known as Cinema Head Cheese.

Buy Bob Dylan Revealed on DVD!

What's Your Favorite Indie Shop or Theater?

Recently, I think we hit on a theme here at the Cheese. I decided to write about the end of the video store. It seemed appropriate, as I have seen many Blockbuster locations preparing to shut down in the wake of Netflix and Redbox. I remember the mom and pop places doing the same when big blue came to town.

After that, Lacey Paige let us know about a few survivors up in Canada. Our readers have been all over our articles, especially Lacey's, and that made me think.

Cinema Head Cheese is an independent voice. David, Jeff and I put this together ourselves, and then we were joined by other independent thinkers. Hal Astell, James DePaulo and Lacey all have their own independent sites. Ron Ford makes indie films. They and the rest of the crew give us their time and talent, and we appreciate it.

We three founders are no strangers to the independent game. Between us we have a few books, several comic book series, a comedy album, blogs, trailer compilations, two radio shows, a podcast and a stack of movies ranging from horror to thriller to comedy. We know how hard it can be to make things work.

With that being said, I'm building a new Directory page on the website. I'd like to showcase the places we all love to visit, and I'd like your help. If you know about a great independent video store, book store, comic book store or grindhouse theater, please email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com. Put "Directory Addition" in the subject line.

Please send the following information:
Store name
Street address
Phone number
Website
Type of business

Listings will be alphabetical by state in the US, by province in Canada, and by country for the rest of the world.

Final Week! From Dusk Till Dawn Spread the Cheese Contest!

Thanks to Echo Bridge Entertainment, we are going to have a new contest featuring the new DVD release of the entire From Dusk Till Dawn trilogy and a bonus documentary on the original film called Full-Tilt Boogie.

One winner will win the set plus DVD copies of Dismal and Ninjas vs. Vampires.

Second and third prize will win Cinema Head Cheese prize packs.

Here's How to Enter:

All you need to do is spread the word about Cinema Head Cheese on Facebook and Twitter. Like and follow us at http://facebook.com/cinemaheadcheese and @CinHeadCheese. Tell your friends about CHC and tag us in your posts. With every tag, you will be automatically entered in the drawing for all the goodies. You can enter once per day until 11:59pm PST on May 10. That's a possibility of 21 entries, which helps your chances.

Winners will be chosen by random drawing and announced on May 15 on CHC: The Podcast! as well as our site, Facebook and Twitter pages.

So, what are you waiting for? Get to work!

New Poster Art for Troma's Father's Day!

Troma Entertainment, Inc. is proud to unveil the poster for its upcoming Lloyd Kaufman/Michael Herz Production "Father's Day," by Astron-6. The poster was created by Award-winning poster artist Thomas Hodge, aka "The Dude Designs." FATHER'S DAY hits theaters late this summer. Visit www.Troma.com for updates and more information!

Movie Review: The Frolic (2007)

by Greg Goodsell

An adaptation of the Thomas Ligotti short story, "The Frolic" is a short film that cast a very particular spell over this reviewer. Settling down to watch it, I stopped hearing and watching the film, only to return to consciousness once the end titles began rolling. It was very similar to the same physical phenomena I experience when I lay down in a bed at night and inexplicably find myself in the same bed the following morning.

Buy The Frolic on DVD!

Movie Review: The Telling (2009)

This could have been cinematic gold. This could have been the answer to millions of acne-infested teenage boys and comic book collecting Star Trek geeks in their forties. It could have absolutely ruled. Why, you ask? Here’s the premise: a bunch of Playboy Playmates make a horror movie and shoot it at the Playboy mansion. Seriously, the potential is very, very great. Unfortunately, The Telling fails on every level. If there were a pill that was the reverse of Cialis, something like Viagrunt or Flaccidodine… I don’t know. There doesn’t need to be, though. If your erection persists for over four hours just pop The Telling into the player and you’ll shrinky dink like you just watched Steven Tyler have sex with Joan Rivers.

Buy The Telling on DVD!

Movie Review: Drive-In Horrorshow (2009)

I like a good horror anthology. Well done short horror films can be very intense and very scary or funny or gory or whatever you need them to be. Get in quick, shock ‘em  and then get out. Anthology television shows like The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery and Tales from the Crypt did it very well. In feature film land, we had Creepshow… and that’s about it (I’m sure there are others, but I’m drawing a blank). When we get to features, though, there are most definitely more attempts at the anthology format and people tend to do it for all the wrong reasons. We all know that it is easier to talk about making a film than actually making a film. It would then stand to reason that it is easier to make a short film than a feature length film. Couple of days, get some friends, don’t put too much thought into it and, bango, in a few months you’ve got yourself a feature anthology. That’s the problem here, and the problem with most horror anthologies: you have to take as much care and dedication with an anthology film than you would with narrative feature… even more. Pulling all the disparate elements together, creating a weaving story to pull some kind of uniformity about and keeping up the integrity, and quality, throughout each separate story is very hard. That is why most anthologies fail. Drive-In Horror Show fell into a few of the familiar traps, but showed some elements that, sort of, let it pull away from the pack a bit. To be honest, that pack is a rutting group of cannibalistic warthogs, but it is a pack nonetheless.

Pre-order Drive-In Horrorshow at Brain Damage Films!

Dahmer vs. Gacy on DVD May 10th!

All Bloody Hell Has Broken Loose!

In the Spirit of Freddy vs. Jason, ‘Horror-ific’ Thriller

Rampages Onto DVD May 10<sup>th


Pre-Order Dahmer Vs. Gacy on DVD!</sup>

LOS ANGELES — May 1, 2011 — For Immediate Release — Two infamous killers … one ultimate, epic showdown in the horrorfest Dahmer vs. Gacy, rampaging onto DVD May 10 from Walking Shadows (distributed by Virgil Films & Entertainment).

Deep within a secret government lab, Dr. Hess (Art LaFleur, Field of Dreams, Maverick) is obsessively working to create the ultimate killer by combining the DNA of two of the world’s most infamous serial murderers, Jeffrey Dahmer (Ford Austin, Grappling With Your Demons) and John Wayne Gacy (Randal Malone, The Curse of Lizzie Borden, Creepies 2).

All hell is unleashed when a freak accident allows their escape … and the only hope of stopping the carnage is Ringo, a holy, buckets-of-crazy soldier “trained by God” (voiced by Harland Williams, The Whole Nine Yards, Dumb and Dumber) who enters battle with a shotgun in one hand and a whiskey bottle in the other.

Movie Review: Glass Trap (2005)

Once upon a time there was a building made of glass in Los Angeles. This building ordered some potted plants for their lobby. These plants were delivered from a nursery… a special nursery. That, my friends, is the premise of Glass Trap, directed by Fred Olen Ray under one of his many pseudonyms, and “written” by Brett Thompson. Needless to say the operative word in the title is ‘trap.’ As in, I was trapped by the stupidity of this movie or I felt like gnawing my arm off like it was in a trap to escape the flick. Good golly, it is absolutely amazing what a few dedicated people can do with a horrible premise, no money and less time. So, without further adieu, may I present the film that set back independent movie street cred thirty years… Glass Trap.

Buy Glass Trap on DVD!

Movie Review: Deep Red (1975, Blu-ray)

As someone whose been a huge fan of John Carpenter ever since my first viewing of The Thing remake, it’s come to a point where it pains me to say this but - he owes much of his success to the "Maestro", Dario Argento, and of course legendary band, Goblin. While you can see similarities in Carpenter's films to other earlier Argento efforts (Four Flies in Grey Velvet, Bird with Crystal Plumage) the pilfering is most evident though in Deep Red. Sure, there weren’t any Shatner-masked killers named Michael Myers but there are deaths in the film, point-of-view shots and a soundtrack that almost mirrors Carpenter's famous track to Halloween. Would you like to see what I'm talking about? Blue Underground has produced a new Blu-ray version of the Argento classic many fans and filmmakers alike still look back at in awe.

Buy Deep Red on Blu-ray!

The 10th Victim on Blu ray from Blue Underground!

The Original Sexy ‘60s Cult Classic Is Back!

Only from Blue Underground!

It is the 21^st Century, and society’s lust for violence is satisfied by “The Big Hunt,” an international game of legalized murder. But when the sport’s two top assassins (Marcello Mastroianni and Ursula Andress) are pitted against each other, they find that love is the most dangerous game of all. As the world watches, the hunt is on. Who will become THE 10^TH VICTIM?

Crack Whore Teaser Trailer Released!

Coming soon from the vile mind of Lance Polland is Crack Whore! Starring a bevy of your favorite cult movie icons (well, soon to be cult movie icons). Crack Whore tells the sordid tale of Candy... crack whore by day, vengeful crack whore by night! Out on DVD very soon from Fart House Cinema, the leader in seventies exploitation hyper violent homage companies. Oh, and Crack Whore features our very own David Hayes! Now you have to watch it!

Music Review: Mae - (e)vening

By Alex Bridgeforth

Some of Mae’s brightest moments, including their latest album (e)vening, have come from their atmospheric piano-driven songs. Mae began as an alternative/indie band in Norfolk, Virginia in 2001.

The band signed with Tooth and Nail Records in 2003 and released their debut, Destination: Beautiful, shortly after. They have since released two full-length albums and several EPs. (e)vening is the third of their latest EP releases. The first two were (m)orning and (a)fternoon. All three albums spell out the band’s name, Mae.

Buy (e)vening by Mae!

Movie Review: The Human Centipede (2010)

By Cooper Neslon

Up until last night I didn’t think horror movies could get much more disturbing in a slice-a-person-up kind of way than watching the likes of Saw or Hostel... and then I watched The Human Centipede.  As a horror movie goes there isn’t much to it unless you are the type of a person that fears the that-could-actually-happen-to-me type of scenario.  Nothing throughout the movie really makes you jump, and the level of gore that you actually see is only at about a three in my books, but the concept and what the film leaves to the imagination is more than enough to make you sick to your stomach.  In all, the production value is subpar and the acting is only so-so.  The only thing that gives this movie any reason to be watched is if the concept of stitching three people together mouth to anus intrigues you enough to waste a couple hours of your life; otherwise take my advice and don’t pick this movie up.

Buy The Human Centipede DVD or The Human Centipede Blu-ray!