Sci-Fi Classics Movie Reviews

I can’t believe I’ve finally made it to the bottom of the ginormous stack of DVDs that David Hayes brought me 17 years ago. Actually, it was more like two, but it felt longer. (That’s what she said.)

ANYWAY....

I’ve got some horror/sci fi classics to review for you today. The best thing about these genre films from the 50s and 60s? They’re only about an hour long! The worst thing, aside from the low budget, crappy effects, and terrible acting, is that with such a short window, most of the action/storyline is told instead of shown. Oh well. I’m willing to overlook that when you get monsters made out of yarn and cardboard boxes...

Our first film is Creature from the Haunted Sea, a 1961 beaut from Roger Corman. In Cuba, Castro has just successfully led a revolution, ousting dictator Batista. But just because they won, doesn’t mean the Revolution has any money. So, an American casino owner, Renzo Capetto, is asked to smuggle a giant box of gold out of Cuba for Castro (I’m not really clear on why, but whatever.) Capetto agrees, but only because he plans to steal it for himself.

In on the job are his gal, Mary-Belle and her brother, Happy, Jack (the guy who makes animal noises,) and Sparks (who’s actually an undercover American Agent.) General Tostada, his aide, and a bunch of Cuban soldiers are accompanying the gold so nothing happens to it on the way. Capetto decides to kill as many of the Cubans as he can on the boat ride out of Dodge, so decides to use a local legend about a sea monster as cover.

Trouble is....the monster is actually REAL!

Movie Review: SHHHH (2018)

I understand the appeal of horror and comedy mashing it up. I also understand the absolute HATRED of the mixed genre, because it’s either very good or fucking awful. I’m gonna have to go with the latter for my review of this flick.

SHHHH stars James Henderson as Harris, a struggling film maker in Los Angeles (how original and unexpected.) While trying to make ends meet with his job at a crappy video store—do those still exist?—he spends most of his spare time, when not making movies, with his mom at the theater. They love to go see films together, even lesbian vampires feeling each other up and licking each other’s nipples. And while they do have fun, there’s always some asshole ruining the experience: the food wrapper crinkler, the guy on his phone the whole time, the talkers, the super tall people who sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU despite all the other empty seats...it’s enough to drive Harris to murder.