Movie Review: The Horde (2009)

There have been many zombie movies in the last decade, and now there is even been a television show that features our brain eating friends. I've seen some of them, and they all start to have a similar tone. A virus is spread, and we slowly see the takeover happen as a few ragtag survivors fight to stay alive. This theme really goes back to the original Night of the Living Dead. This is where The Horde takes a different angle.

Buy The Horde [Blu-ray] or DVD

At an officer's funeral, a woman begs a mourner not to do what she knows he's going to do. He's a fellow cop, and he wants revenge. The same goes for a few others. She makes him promise that he'll bring them all back safe, which is just about the time you know that most of them won't.

TV on DVD Review: Ghost Hunters, Season 8, Part 1 (2012, Image)

...as a certain famed, wise and literary 15th/16th century sage once wrote, "...there are more things in Heaven and Earth, (Horatio), than are dreamt of, in your philosophy..." Eh (...with a shoulder shrug), I suppose that I'd subscribe to that...I'd buy that for a dollar. However, in doggedly engaging the twelve episodes, which make up the SyFy-sponsored "Ghost Hunters: Season 8, Part One" box set collection, I also seem to recall an equally certain...and well, at a specific moment, quite shaken...Dr. Lesh, from 1982's "Poltergeist", who candidly admitted, "...parapsychology isn't something you master in. There are no certificates of graduation, no license to practice. I am a professional psychologist who spends most of her time engaged in this ghostly hobby, which makes me, I suppose, the most irresponsible (sixty-one-year old woman) I know..." Least to say, BOTH convoluting relevations fervently rattled around in my head, while watching this slick, paranormal-themed, investigative reality cable series, which despite the wonderfully varied, eclectic, historical and picturesque locations ventured to, in the course of this series' episode set, the whole of this suggestively endeavorous production seemed more exploitively 'showboat', than 'show-me'...

Movie Review: Monster (One 7 Movies, 1953)

If you’re in the mood to expand your Mexican horror film viewing horizons look no further than Italian cult movie distributor One 7 Movies' latest, Monster. Mexico has brought us some cool horror flicks over the years with movies like The Brainiac, Curse of the Crying Woman and the awesome awfulness of Night of the Bloody Apes. Monster is an obscurity that has slipped through my paws over the years so it's nice to finally see it on any format.

Chano Ureta's Monster is essentially a different take on Frankenstein and Phantom of the Opera with a few tweaks here and there. We start off in what is essentially the Mexican answer to the Regal Beagle, where Nora, a young attractive reporter is meeting her boss to talk about the mysterious Dr. Ling. Nora really wants to interview Ling and find out just a little bit more about his "eccentricities". What she doesn't know of course is that he is a deformed/maniac/genius who's been hiding his hideous face over the years by using a scarf and various masks. The best way to describe Ling's features would be Rocky Dennis from Mask crossed with a mixture of character-actor Irwin Keyes.

Scream Factory Blu-ray Giveaway!!

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #98 - Podcatastrophe

Kevin and Jeff join Camm Harston from Raise your Spirits and Ryan Ford and Jacob O'Neal from From the Underground to record live at Phoenix Comicon.

They talk underground music, how Jacob and Ryan got started, favorite slasher movies, the movies they love that others hate and more. They also wonder where Camm went. Yeah.

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Movie Review: The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976, Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Scream! Factory is at it once again releasing a little seen gem of the 70's. To my knowledge "The Town That Dreaded Sundown" has never seen a DVD/Blu-ray release before. So toss out your second gen bootlegs boys & girls because this is the definitive release. Also it should be noted as a bonus, Scream Factory has included a second film in this set. Charles B. Pierce's "The Evictors", starring Jessica Harper (Suspiria), Michael Parks (From Dusk Till Dawn) & Vic Morrow (Bronx Warriors). So this review will focus on both films.

"The Town That Dreaded Sundown" is a highly effective and taut  docudrama. Based on true events, the film takes place in 1946 Texarkana. Everything is peaceful enough, until the quiet little town is shocked to it's core when a couple is viciously attacked. This couple had their little make out session interrupted by a large fellow with a sack over his head. Who rips out some of the cars electrical wires out and then drags the boyfriend out of the passenger side window. As he attacks the young women we cut to the following morning. Deputy Norman Ramsey (Andrew Pine) is driving along a stretch a road and finds the young women, bloody, beaten and unconscious on the side of the road. The police aren't able to obtain any relevant information from the shocked couple. They put out a warning to all the towns folk but that doesn't stop another young couple from heading out to a deserted stretch of road for a bit of romance. At this time Ramsey is driving by and hears gunshots only to find the boyfriend dead and the girlfriend tied to a tree with a bullet lodged in her and bite marks on her back.

Cinema Head Cheese Visits Amy's Baking Company!

Reviewed By: Mike Heenan

If you're reading this, chances are you've already seen the Kitchen Nightmares episode featuring Amy's Baking Company.  After their Facebook meltdown, the owners closed up shop for a week and hired a PR firm to rebuild their reputation.  The PR firm put out a notice on Facebook for reservations to their re opening, and I was one of the lucky ones to get in on opening night.  Allegedly, they had over 1000 reservations, so they decided to span the re opening the entire week.

My reservation was for 8:30pm, but I live near by the restaurant, so I decided to drop by early at 7pm to see if there was any drama going on outside.  There were about 20 people lingering around, and several trying to get in the place, but they were turning away anyone who didn't have a reservation.  I went up to check my status and saw there were empty tables inside, and the girl said I could go in at that point or I could wait until 8:30pm.  I decided to go in and was promptly seated at the back.  Samy was working the tables, and I noticed about four wait staff as well.

Movie Review: Sleazy 70s Stags

Review by Jeff

Since my younger days as a miniature perve, one of my absolute favorite things to witness in a film (be it, XXX, X, R or PG) was God’s greatest invention, the bare breast. I thought it would be most helpful to start out this review of After Hours Cinema’s exhaustive titty loop compilation, Sleazy 70s Stags, with a proper definition of our jiggly pals: Breast - “The breast refers to the front of the chest or, more specifically, to the mammary gland. The mammary gland is a milk producing gland. It is composed largely of fat. Within the mammary gland is a complex network of branching ducts. These ducts exit from sac-like structures called lobules, which can produce milk in females. The ducts exit the breast at the nipple.” Ok, the “milk talk” is a little bit of a turn-off, so why don’t I just give you guys my definition of the breast: Boner-inducing mounds of loveliness.

Movie Review: Dead End Drive-In (1986)

Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith

Review by Greg Goodsell

In the far-flung future Australia of 1995, things have taken a turn for the worse. A series of global catastrophes has rendered the world effectively bankrupt, and law and order is strictly on a limited basis. Taking his girlfriend Carmen (Natalie McCurry) to the Star Drive-In for a quick one, unemployed lay-about “Crabs” (Ned Manning) has his lovemaking rudely interrupted when armed policemen steal two wheels from his ’56 Chevy. The next morning, the true purpose of the Star Drive-In is revealed to him; it is a concentration camp for undesirables, chiefly the young and jobless. In exchange, the inmates are allowed all the junk food they can eat and a steady stream of no-budget action pictures screened nightly. Making friends with their fellow inmates, Crabs and his girlfriend discover that everyone there has more or less accepted their fate. Things get sketchier still when the drive-in is given a sudden influx of Asian inmates. In response, the white Australians band together -- NOT to confront their captors, but to discriminate and harass the minorities. Confronting the kindly, if insidious drive-in manager (Peter Whitford), Crabs vows to escape from the dismal drive-in – or die trying.  

Director Brian Trenchard-Smith one-upped the likes of Quentin Tarrantino with this ironic, self-reflexive film, which has yet to be equaled – low-budget action car crash movies are part of a greater social malaise, this message being tucked neatly into a low-budget action car crash movie! Dead End Drive-In looks great, with artfully composed shots of a dirty, dystopian backdrop comprised of spray-painted junked cars and wild colored lighting. The drive-in’s denizens are a smash-up of the then current punk rock hairstyles and fashions, coupled with Mad Max-inspired remnant attire. 

Movie Review: State of Emergency (2011, Image)

...ya' know?? Being a devoted fan of the 'zombie' movie genre, as well-worn and beaten-to-'undeadth' as the genre is, this viewer cannot help but feel compelled to wade through every potential 'hit & miss' zombie flick out there, with hopes of catching those few and far between 'hits', among the sea of 'misses'...and I have to readily admit, at first glance of the DVD cover art for 2011's "State of Emergency", I had genuine hopes for a kick-ass horror film, considering the armed and haggard look at the supposed 'hero' on the cover...atop an overturned vehicle...aiming sharply at a ravagingly overwhelming barrage of the living dead, surrounding him. I mean, really...the guy LOOKED just like martial arts star Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, and anyone who has seen Don's movies, which were prevalent, over the past 30 some odd years, you know that there's no lack of kick-ass action in HIS films. Well...uh, no...regrettfully, after having partaken of the film, I can now say...uh no, it WASN'T Don, as the character on the cover...and although this guy would probably kick some serious butt in any other zombie flick...in THIS one, well...the flesh-eating horrors are so minimal, the hapless guy on the cover of the DVD, seems almost displaced in this flick. But then, I'm getting ahead of myself, ain't I??...

Movie Review: Pornographi (1971)

So far Pink Flamingo Entertainment in their short life as vintage filth purveyors have consistently shown a knack for giving some quality treatment to Golden Age classics that include their acclaimed “The Shaun Costello Collection”. Now the Danish company has brought a European adult film classic, Ole Ege’s Pornagraphi.

Comprised of ten short films, including such silent Ole Ege gems as: The Dream Girl (1966), Harem, Spanking (1970), The Pornmodel Ilse (1969), The American Girl (1970) and The Jolly Shave (1964), Crazy Strip (1966), Three Lively Girls (1964), Group Sex (1969), Springtime in Tivoli (1969). All the shorts were shot when porn was illegal so there’s an added naughtiness to the proceedings. One thing that’s constant about Ege’s short-films is that none are at all completely tasteless and it’s apparent with his craftsmanship that Ege’s as much an artist as he is a pornographer. Yes, we are talking porn here.

Movie Review: OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006)

Swaggerdly suave, handsome & worldly...dashing, dapper and debonair...always dressed to kill, a picture of cool & crisp intrigue...fast, cars, fast money, fast wit...well-armed & well aimed...deftly skilled at hand-to-hand combat...a resourceful, finely-honed ability at surveillance, concealment & infiltration...the dogged bane of world-wide villainy...the most nefarious of men, want him dead...the most nefarious of women merely WANT him. THIS guy?? Uh, he's NOT James Bond, folks, and he most assuredly DOESN'T have a clue. He's agent OSS 117, Hubert Bonniseur de la Bath, though the name of the game remains the same...spies, naked thighs and bad guys, albeit in a much more comical meld, with this rollicking and hilarious send-up to classic '50's & '60's spy movies...the 2006 French comedy, "OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies"...a nostalgic precursor bit of cinema, from director Michael Hazanavicius, the Academy Award winning filmmaker of 2011's critically acclaimed and equally nostalgic jewel, "The Artist."

Movie Review: Dark Dealer (1995)

I do love a good anthology movie. Granted, this movie isn't really all that good but let's call it good enough.

Dark Dealer came out in 1995 but it has a 1980s vibe that makes it more fun campy than pretentious campy. The movie begins with the end of the wrap around story. Ray is being chased through some office building by a giant plasma globe. He escapes by entering the back room of an office. Instead of what he would expect to be an empty room, three men sit at a round table. Seems Ray has just joined in a game of Black Jack with the souls of two dead men and a demon dealer. Because yeah, why not?

Ray is told he did not survive the encounter with that giant electric ball and by joining the game, if he wins, he could win back his soul and be alive again. But since he just got there, he goes last.
The first man plays and with each deal, we flash back to the events in his life that brought him to the devil's game.

"Cellar Space" is the first man's story. He's a petty thug who's crimes are witnessed by a lone elderly gentleman who lives basically in a cellar. When the thug and his enforcer break into the man's home, to hide from the cops for a recent murder and apparently to eat all the man's food, they discover the old man is not an easy mark and will not be bullied into silence or cooperation. In fact, the thug and his enforcer would have been much safer with the police.

The second story is "Blues in the Night". Sam Burke is a brilliant blues musician but dies before he can become a big star. 30 years later, Phil Barton comes across a taped recording of Sam's music and decides to sell it as his own. Phil is a lawyer for a handful of decent albeit spoiled rock musicians but he wants to write his own music. The talent to do so is non existent so with Sam's genius hidden behind Phil's name, he scores big time. Sam is none too happy with that plan and returns from the grave to exact royalty payments out of Phil's hide.

Movie Review: Nicholas and Alexandra (Blu-ray)

Review by Greg Goodsell

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner

At the turn of the 20th century, the Russian Czars were as criminally out of touch with their people as the French Aristocracy was in the 18th century before the advent of the guillotine. The unprepared and naïve Nicholas II (Michael Jayston) along with his German-born wife Alexandra (Janet Suzman) are young, in love and responsible for the deaths of countless millions of Russians, due to unsuccessful wars fought abroad and the ruthless exploitation of the working class. Finally producing a male heir after producing four very spoiled princesses, they learn that the heir apparent, thanks to generations of inbreeding, is a hemophiliac. Rising to the challenge of being both spiritual adviser and miracle worker to their ailing son is Mad Monk Rasputin (played by the fourth Doctor Who, Tom Baker, in a bravura performance), a most unholy holy man who outdoes the televangelists of today with his rampant alcoholism and womanizing. With the advent of World War I, things for the Romanov Royal Family begin to unravel quickly. Besting Germany only by the size of its – mostly unarmed army, millions of Russian troops begin to die on the battlefield due to being allotted only three bullets a day. The Bolsheviks, comprised of idealists such as Lenin and even far worse despots such as Stalin, begin their revolution. Rasputin is killed, and there is growing international pressure on Nicholas to abdicate. After doing so reluctantly, he and his wife, son, daughters and loyal household help hurtle inexorably to their appointment with a firing squad …

Movie Review: The Burning (1981, Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack)

Review By: Rob Sibley

1981 was a monumental year for horror films and in my opinion. 81 saw the release of some of the best of the genre. Evil Dead was finally hitting theaters, American Werewolf in London was turning heads with it's ground breaking special FX and hybrid of horror and comedy. Jason Vorhees was rising up from the grave... well water for Friday the 13^th part II and Barbara Hershey was dealing with one rapey ghost in The Entity. Horror fans had a lot of films and it's various sub-genres to sink their teeth into in 81. But the biggest of all the sub-genres had to be the slasher film, some say Carpenter's Halloween started it, others say Black Christmas or Friday the 13th. I'm not going to involve myself in that discussion. But I will say without a doubt in my mind, Mario Bava's 1971 Italian classic “A Bay of Blood” got the ball rolling. Boy o boy that ball sure rolling in the 80's, it seems like every week a new slasher picture was hitting the multiplexes. Dousing the screen with enough blood & T&A to keep any warm blooded young man happy.

So many slasher films were produced back then that we still are discovering some of them to this day. Let me go back to 1981 for a minute, for the slasher film the year saw two huge sequels. Halloween II & Friday the 13^th part II. It also saw the release of such gems as Jeff Leibermans Just Before Dawn, Joe Zito's The Prowler, Tobe Hooper's The Fun House, My Bloody Valentine and many many more. Of coarse with such a large amount of films of the same ilk being released some of those are bound to sadly go a tad unnoticed. One of those films was the slasher classic “The Burning”. Featuring FX work by Tom Savini (Who famously turned down Friday 2 to work on this one) and stylish direction by Tony Maylam makes this one a cut above the rest.

The Playground of the Mind: An Overview of Shaun Costello's HOT DREAMS

Reviewed By: Heather Drain

Movies have been one of the strongest forms of escapism since the days of the beautiful, ghost like image of famed belly dancer Little Sheba tantalizing/horrifying curious viewers on a Nickelodeon. Art is the safest way to explore facets about your own humanity and all of its murky little corners. With this, it only make sense for numerous directors working in the 70's and 80's to incorporate themes of adult fantasies in film. This concept is front and center in Warren Evans aka Shaun Costello's 1983 film, HOT DREAMS.

Lisa (the great Sharon Mitchell) seemingly has it all. She's beautiful, lives in a nice and roomy loft in New York City and is a successful beefcake photographer. The problem? She's married to a total schmoe, in the form her of her businessman husband, Bob (Michael Bruce). The film opens with the two in bed, all lovingly framed and lit, including some nice, tight composition. Soon, Bob starts rubbing her side, initiating what I like to call “the international sign of your partner waking you to get nookie” maneouver.) She's very receptive but just as things start getting good for Lisa, Bob finishes without making things equal. Even worse, his neglect is excused with him saying he has to get ready for work but then takes, like, 15 minutes to shave his non-facial hair. What?

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #97 - Motor City Comic Con 2013

Dave gives his report on his adventures at Motor City Comic Con in Detroit.

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Movie Review: Love Me (2012, Anchor Bay)

(...referring to the characters in this movie) People!! Get out of the darkness...get out, and get some sun, PLEASE!!! Granted, this viewer hasn't been regularly privy to youthful, school-entrenched teen movies, since the colorful, albeit angst-filled days of the '80's; however, at least things were relatively bright & vividly lit back then, and the ones that favored the dark motif...dark clothes, dark rooms, dark attitudes...were relegatedly monikered the outcasts, the misfits. Perhaps it's merely the matter of this viewer having gotten way too old, but if actual teen life today is anything close to being as style-reflective, as in the derivitively slick and quaint little 2012 mystery/thriller, "Love Me", then I suppose that the younger generation these days has, for the most part, expressively and outwardly embraced the darkness within themselves, and what was once considered 'outcast' and 'misfit', is now the standard.

That been said, shall we shift gears, and examine an unchanging constant, no matter what generation is focused upon...an unswervingly steadfast constant, being that of 'true love'?? Ah, yes...true love. Two people finding that certain perfect chemistry...that certain, instinctive, unexplainable, plus-to-minus attraction, which inexplicably and compellingly carries them off to an indescribably intangible level, that's indelibly euphoric, when it happens...or rather, when it is resignedly let to happen. Life's classic unsolveable riddle, wrapped in a mystery, shrouded in enigma. And yet, tortuously conflicting and repellant, yet strangely and irresistibly alluring, when an element of mystery...of darkness...nay, even of danger, is introduced. In the case of "Love Me", we're talking deeply entrenched shades of deception...and murder...

Movie Review: The Vampire Lovers (Blu-ray, 1970)

The legendary Hammer Studios output is finally starting see some very well deserved life on glorious Blu-ray. Scream Factory has made a splash with several Blu-ray releases of some of the best of 80's slashers (Halloween II, Funhouse, Terror Train), and now have taken a stab at releasing one of the finer Hammer vampire films in Roy Ward Baker's The Vampire Lovers. This release of course is a filled to the brim HD special edition.

Based on J. Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, The Vampire Lovers is the story about a family living in the English countryside who has taken upon themselves to invite a gorgeous stranger into their home by the name of Carmilla (Ingrid Pitt, Countess Dracula, and The Wicker Man). This lovely stranger isn't exactly the best guest you’d want to be around other nubile women, when in fact this buxom siren is actually a vampire, thirsting for their blood. Of course no great vampire film coming out of Hammer Studios is complete without the always professional, Peter Cushing (Twins of Evil, Dracula: Prince of Darkness). Cushing is hot on the tail of Carmilla, who even for this seasoned vampire hunter proves to be a tough catch.

Movie Review: Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Review by John Beutler

...the best and most synergenic thing about a great movie's cast ensemble, in unique cases when such a cast is called upon to respectfully emulate and reinterpret past beloved characters...now considered having legendary status...and once performed by actors equally legendary and seasoned, is when fresh newcomer performers genuinely take these classic characters, make them their own, and at the same time...through great chemistry and interaction...further exhue character qualities, which we the audience, can identify with. Indeed, most of us viewers can easily and most readily identify with most, if not all of the original 'Star Trek' characters, and see qualities in each singular character, or any combination of said characters, which deep down, we all naturally possess, have incorporated into ourselves, or even aspired to. Kirk's keenly instinctive, albeit reckless & unconventional ability to unflinchingly take on challenges, exhuing a measure of authoritative disregard, and yet, still relatively & courageously saving the day, nearly each and every time. Spock's staunch insistence upon a logical approach to matters, despite interference of his internal conflict of heritage, between his emotion-laden human side, and his mentally disciplined Vulcan half. Scotty's unbounding sense of resourcefulness, and his unswerving ability to get the job done, no matter what he needs to do. Uhura's indomitable passions for her position...crystal clear upon what she knows she is capable of doing, and knowing an unquestionable equality, in working with her shipmates. McCoy's own sense of determined self-righteousness and empathy for his fellow man, as well as his shipmates, despite a constant measure of situational doubt and ability, when the odds on such situations, in his eyes, seem too great. Chekov's unseasoned, albeit determined sense of trying to measuring up...clearly having the skills he needs, to get in there and get it done...but possessing a sense of non-dissuading self-doubt, being one of the junior members of the crew...self-doubt, which would later understandably dissipate, given further opportunity to prove himself. Sulu's disciplined passion for the combat...being very assured of himself, and of his abilities...even on the occasions, which he is given the leadership role. We see these qualities in each and every one of us...can relate to them, in one way or another...and it is primarily the result of this very observation, as reflect herein...the inception & embraceably further development of these now-classic characters, and the new challenge they face...where the newly released "Star Trek Into Darkness" works best, and most assuredly proves that the re-envisioned, well-written and well-received 2009 attempt at the franchise, was no fluke...