Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #107 - 25 Minutes Too Long

The triumvirate of douche is complete this week, and Jeff, Kevin and Dave talk about Netflix original programming off of Kevin's review of Orange is the New Black. They each pick what show they'd love to see Netflix resurrect.

Dave reviews Hot Potato and Black Belt Jones. Jeff reviews The Incredible Melting Man and The Babysitter Massacre. Kevin reviews Race War: The Remake and The Demented.

Dave gives us an update on his Migo quest, and the boys share a contest to win Hell Hath No Fury from our own Peggy Christie. Find the link on our Facebook page.

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Movie Review: The Dark (1979)

There is nothing I like more than 1970s horror and sci-fi films. Truly. I believe that the entire filmmaking industry (from a narrative, not technical, standpoint) peaked in the 1970s and early 1980s. I love the wah-wah guitar riffs, bell bottoms and gas-guzzling sedans chewing up as much scenery as the actors do. Everything about the 1970s was stylized… especially the genre films. Yes, I’m biased. Yes, I’m a child of the 70s and 80s and, yes, there aren’t many finer examples of the genre than can be found in these two precious decades. Unless, of course, that film happens to be The Dark.

Blood Orgy of the Damned (2010) Movie Review

I don’t know exactly when this movie was made. I’m going to say it was about 15 years ago but it was re-released in 2010. Not because it was such a fantastic film but because the audio was completely lost and it was recorded at a live event where an improv comedy troupe performed voice overs as the film rolled. As I have not seen the original film with its original audio, I can’t honestly say whether or not the MST3K style set up I viewed makes this better or worse. All I know is I did LOL at a lot of the jokes. Also, I can’t say for sure what the original plot was so I’m making some assumptions based on the troupe humor.

BUY IT HERE!

Blood Orgy of the Damned starts off sometime in the past, possibly the 1700-1800s. Vampire hunter kills a vampire, who adjusts his wig before he bites it. No pun intended. Bad edit later and another vampire appears before the hunter but he looks like he’s from our time (21st century). He dies, too. So much for time travel.

100 years later (though the opening scene looked more like it was 200-300 years ago) a young girl is leafing through an ancient book. She falls asleep, like you do, and dreams about a vampire staring at her, a la Edward Cullen (I only read the first book, I swear), and then a bunch of hands are feeling up her naked body. For a long time. Seriously, there was an inordinate amount of groping in this scene.

This must have given our gal Friday a great idea because the next thing you know, she and a handful of her friends are lighting candles, getting drunk, and then reading from the book to resurrect an ancient vampire (YOU MUST NOT READ FROM THE BOOK!). They all fall asleep and the women dream about being wrapped in gauzy curtains and more groping.

Movie Review: L'Interieur (2011)

by Peggy Christie

Based on a short Twitter exchange with Paul Soter a few months ago (the red-headed adorable member of Broken Lizard, who brought us Super Troopers and Beerfest), I decided to give a French horror movie a try, despite the fact that, in the past, I’ve abhorred French horror.

Honestly, I can’t say whether I regret it or not. 

L’Interieur is about a pregnant woman, Sarah. She and her husband get into a car accident – she and their unborn baby survive, he does not. Flash forward a few months and Sarah discusses her scheduled delivery with the doctor. I don’t think it’s a c-section but apparently the delivery WILL be happening the next morning. All she needs to do is go home and get some rest.

The best laid plans…

Movie Review: Punk Vacation (Blu-ray, 1987)

The punk sub-genre had a really nice life during the 80s'. Class of 1984 and Suburbia come to mind as some essentially viewing for anyone interested in that period. Heck, even Return of the Living Dead had an oder of "punk" to the rampant brain-eating shenanigans. Vinegar Syndrome have dug up a punk film that I had no idea existed, a little flick called Punk Vacation from director Stanley Lewis and producer Stephen Fusci and given it the Blu-ray treatment - with an additional disc of goodies!

When a punk gang decides to go on a trip to get away from the congestion of the city they also bring trouble with them. Instead of relaxing, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories these motorcycle-riding Aqua Net abusers bring their own brand of foolishness with them when they start harassing a convenience store owner and his daughter, Sally (Karen Renee) over 40 cents lost in a soda machine.

Movie Review: Killing Lincoln (2013, Herzog & Co./Scott Free/20th Century Fox)

...since the term 'exploitation film' covers a pretty wide berth, as far as pinning down an all-encompassing, overall meaning of the term, and as such, might well be definitionally construed as something different, from group to group...even from person to person...it might as well be safe to say that the spansive moniker includes any interest-instilling speculative cinematic study...no matter how well researched...depicted in a dramatically sensationalist and emotionally manipulative meld. Such is the case, even with regards to the depiction of historical events...especially in particular, the assassination of public figures. In that respect, Abraham Lincoln's ill-fated death in 1865 has proven to be one of the most tragically and compellingly documented of such events in the annuls of American history; much speculation has been wrought from the events that transpired, during that time, due to unverifiable 'holes' in the backstory, as well as noted eyewitness inconsistencies. Surprisingly enough, there has been scant attempts to cinematically lay out the well-documented archival evidence of this case, in a sensical and practical manner; however, those attempts that HAVE been ambitiously produced, for the most part, have proven exploitatively intriguing and powerful enough to warrant viewer attention, in the overall search for, and ultimate presentation of at least a reasonable and logical, albeit understandably speculative truth. Despite this surprising, yet notable cinematic minimization, considering the historical impact of the event, coupled with an exploitative approach to the material, one might genuinely and cleverly see fit to coin the term, 'Lincoln-sploitation', as cliche as such a term might be considered; in viewing this recent docu-dramatization of the tragic events...this rustically slick, and keenly performed 2013 study, based upon the best selling non-fiction book, narrated by actor Tom Hanks, produced by Ridley & Tony Scott (...the latter of whom passed away, during production) for the National Geographic, and deemed a right-to-the-point, no-nonsense docu-drama, called "Killing Lincoln"...it is very dramatically presented that nothing could be closer to the truth...especially the suggestively relevating 'truth', outlaid herein...

Movie Review: The Incredible Melting Man (Blu-ray, 1977)

When I first experienced The Incredible Melting Man on Mystery Science Theater 3000 more than fifteen years ago, I thought to myself  "as bad as this is, this is far from the mind-numbing crap that's usually on this show". I could actually get through this B-flick without the best riffers in the world (Joel, Mike, Tom Servo, Crow and the gang) throwing in their clever barbs every few seconds. Scream Factory has taken the liberty to put William Sachs’ The Incredible Melting Man out in an ooey-gooey special edition Blu-ray that is sure please fans of this messy little masterpiece.

The plot is actually quite simple: Alex Rebar plays Astronaut “Steve West”, a man on a mission to take space exploration that much further than anyone before him. He does, but at a price, because now he is sitting in a hospital bed, gradually melting away thanks to a solar flare while gazing like a lecher at Saturn. After killing a rotund nurse, he emerges from the hospital, on the loose and suddenly an aggressive murderous creature. Fast on the syrupy heels of our cannibalistic melting creature is Dr.Ted Nelson (Burr DeBenning) who’s out to capture West before he gets too powerful during this sloppy metamorphosis.

John Carpenter's "Prince Of Darkness" to Debut on Blu-ray from Scream Factory!!

Get ready for the ultimate presentation of the heart-pounding supernatural thriller by heralded master of horror director John Carpenter (Halloween, The Fog, They Live) as the long-awaited PRINCE OF DARKNESS Collector’s Edition Blu-ray™ and DVD invade home entertainment shelves everywhere on SEPTEMBER 24 from SCREAM FACTORY. Available for the first time on Blu-ray, this collector’s edition is brimming with insightful extras, including new interviews with John Carpenter and Alice Cooper, special audio commentary and much more!

Donald Pleasence (Halloween), Jameson Parker (Simon & Simon), Lisa Blount (Needful Things), rock icon Alice Cooper, Victor Wong and Dennis Dun (both from Carpenter’s Big Trouble In Little China) star in this gripping suspense thriller on the terrifying battle between mankind and the ultimate evil.  A group of graduate students and scientists uncover an ancient canister in an abandoned church. When they open it, they inadvertently unleash a strange liquid and an evil force on all of humanity. As the liquid turns their co-workers into zombies, the remaining members realize they have released the most unspeakable horror of them all. Terror mounts as the team must fight to save the world from a devilish fury that has been contained for over seven million years.

Movie Review: Skull World (Blu-ray, 2013)

There's really nothing better than a documentary that truly goes a different route than the norm. Many filmmakers, whilst doing a documentary on a subject are just content on you something you already have some knowledge on. That’s boring though…gimme something unique.  Once in a while you get hit upside the head with a giant cardboard hammer of a movie that enlightens you to a society that you never knew existed, much like the Braveheart-esque battle antics of "Box Wars". This isn't the "medieval tap your sword on a guy and he's dead" douchebaggery in a park, these are balls-out battles, that can get pretty physical. Welcome to Justin McConnell's Skull World, if you dare!

Skull Man (AKA Greg Sommer) is a celebrity of sorts in the Toronto area, putting on Box War battles, while donning elaborate cardboard costumes, and his signature Skull Man mask .Box Wars is pretty much an underground sport that originated in Australia. Sommer is on a mission to make box wars bigger than life in any way possible, bringing in friends, putting time in the weight room curling his dogs...whatever it takes, because this guy is "metal" and lives his life to the fullest.

Movie Review: Watch Over Me (2013, Digital Playground)

Alright, ladies and gentlemen, step right up... look closely now...Watch what this hand is doing...Watch it, now...Don't look away, or you'll miss something amazing...and, presto!! See?? The other hand does something even more amazing. The finest prestidigitators will allure, seduce and manipulate the hapless observer with his adept skill...with the most devious of twists and turns...distracting enough to covertly veil what the magician actually has in mind. There's a certain satisfying revelation, in being fooled by the magician...even when the so-called 'magician' is an equally adept film writer. Most film aficionados can rattle off a plethora of general audience movies, which upheld that delightfully manipulative ability to draw to the right...keeping the viewer from seeing what's happening on the left...until that foremost moment, when the 'magic' takes place. However, one might be quite amusingly taken aback, when that same seductive and deceptive ploy is unexpectedly thrown into the steamy proceedings, within the unconventional realm of adult film entertainment. Unexpected, yes...but in the adroit and able-bodied direction of film-maker Robby D...quite well executed, and resulting in his latest moody and tension-edged sexual excursion, 2013's "Watch Over Me."

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #106 - Kriegerin!

Kevin and Dave mourn Dennis Farina, and they somehow work it around into a bad place. They review The Dark, Combat Girls and Biology 101.

They discuss Kevin Smith's new project, which is a weird horror story. They also get derailed by Thomas the Tank Engine before Dave talks abuot his Migo collection.

Dave also announces the winner of the Cannibal Fat Camp contest.

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Movie Review: Biology 101 (2011)

The best part of Biology 101 is how incredibly relevant it is. The film, the first feature from writer/director Christopher Smith, touches on aspects of media manipulation, desire, hedonism and sex addiction in a manner that is relevant and, by all accounts, common. The presentation of this content does suffer a bit from the pacing of the film and what seems to be a reluctance to fully explore the inherent darkness in the subject matter. Regardless, Biology 101 does take upon itself the challenge of difficult material where many films would not, despite the lack of real depth.

Movie Review: Perfect Understanding (1933, Blu-ray)

Directed by Cyril Gardner
Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Too rich and too thin couple Judy (Gloria Swanson) and Nicholas Randall (26-year-old Laurence Olivier) wish to marry, but don’t want to be held down by the constraints of one-man, one-woman. They both sign a prenuptial agreement to rule out any jealousy, amounting to an “open marriage.” They marry, with so-called friend Ivan (John Halliday) burning with covetousness over the off-the-market Judy. They have a whirlwind honeymoon through Europe, which includes Germany (considering the time of this film’s release, probably wasn’t that much fun!) and France. Judy returns home to London while in the meantime, Nicholas engages in a boat race that involves downing cocktails while piloting motorboats in Cannes. In this prescient version of The Hunger Games, no one is killed but Nicholas is injured in a collision. He is nursed back to health in an intimate manner by old friend Stephanie (Nora Swinburne). Nicholas confesses the affair to Judy, who runs to the arms of Ivan in retaliation – there are the expected complications, but will true love win out in the end?

Perfect Understanding is a remarkable film on many several levels, but there exists a serious roadblock in enjoying the film today. The example of an early “soundie,” the muffled dialogue is very hard to hear over the incessant musical soundtrack. Subtitles for the hard of hearing would have been a very welcome extra. Swanson, who was losing favor with the advent of sound after enjoying silent screen icon status, produced the film herself. There is an awful lot of young, emerging talent on view. Olivier is extremely awkward in one of his first motion picture roles, but one hears he had a pretty dim view of his film work, preferring the stage. The racy for its time script is the work of 27-year-old Michael Powell, the acclaimed writer-director of The Red Shoes and Peeping Tom (1960).

Movie Review: Comic-Con, Episode IV: A Fan's Hope (2011, Wrekin Hill/Warrior Poet)

...despite having once proudly been amongst the 'brethren species' of devotedly obsessed comic book 'geeks' (...although quite candidly, I DO occasional peek through the cracked-open door, to see how things...characters, exploits, format, etc, have since changed since my youth, my comic book collecting days...eh, pretty much snuffed, in the onset of my military stint) , this viewer has to readily admit really getting a brazenly giddy kick out of the crazed and outrageous visual spectacle that IS the yearly San Diego-based International Comic Book Convention...or quite simply, Comic-Con. The inspired, wildly imaginative, and...well, let's face it...quite lucrative costumes. The colorful, anticipation-building, cinematic advertising blitz of just about every major movie studio's upcoming offerings in the genre. The veritable cornucopia of vendors, eager to sell anything, from t-shirts to posters, from collectible toys & figures to that rare DVD-R of 'Ricochet Rabbit' cartoons, and everything in-between (...and of course, comic books). The cheer-inducing, star-studded forums, nostalgically reveling what has come to pass, and anticipatively revealing what is in the works, in the vast world of the popular arts. The progressively wide-spreading interactive-ness of the proceedings, as the city of San Diego itself, spectacularly adorns itself in genre-celebrative decor...

TV on DVD Review: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, Season Three (1995/96)

...having been wrought from a generation, which at a younger age, went salivatingly ga-ga over Godzilla & Gamera movies, Ultra Man & Johnny Sokko episodes, Infra-Man and Gigantor, this viewer often found it so easy to diss the occasional, wayward, stumbled upon, broadcast episode of this 'what-the-heck-is-it' TV oddity, called 'Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers'; after all, in the onset, the whole franchise seemed nothing more than an adolescent-geared hybrid knock-off of ideas and concepts previously explored...albeit in a somewhat more hallucinogenic meld (...jovially, I recall an episode of VH1's "I Love the '90's", where Dee Snider, of Twisted Sister, spoke of how his own kids 'got caught up in this mind**** of a show'). Given a viewing of sporadic episodes, here and there, this viewer vaguely caught onto the ideas, interlaced into the show's super-hero-istic forefront, whereby each episode would invoke a simple-to-understand level of drama amongst the dynamic martial arts monster fighting...sometimes even exuding poignant concepts on human values and social behavior...once again, emulating the old 'let's trick kids into learning' diversion...something which, despite being as equally deceptive, was much more apparent and obvious, back in the '70's, with the 'Schoolhouse Rock' thing, and instructively preached, epilogued portions of Saturday morning kids shows. And so, when afforded the opportunity to examine the crust of a whole season of the "...Rangers", this viewer's first reaction was...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The Agony!!! The Horror!!! The Torture!!!...

Movie Review: Only God Forgives (2013)

Review By: Rob Sibley

I'm going to say this upfront, you are either going to love or hate this film. Nicolas Winding Refn returns with his latest film “Only God Forgives”. Refn made his first film back in 1996, the excellent “Pusher”. But the film that put him on a lot of peoples maps was 2011's “Drive”. Drive quickly has become a cult hit and Ryan Gosling's stoic character of “Driver” surely has become one of the more memorable anti-heros of the last decade. Drive could have been your typical mainstream crime & fast cars flick (Fast and Furious I'm looking at you.) But thanks to to Refn's excellent direction the film became it's own beast. With Only God Forgives Refn tackles a genre that's been done to death, the revenge film and once again has put his own unique spin on it.

Like I said earlier, you're either going to love or hate this film. I also can't express enough, don't go in expecting Drive 2. The only connection is Refn & Gosling, the similarities end there. To me if anything I felt almost like I was watching a spiritual sequel to the Refn film “Fear X”. Fear X was made back in 2003 & was written by none other then the great Hubert Selby Jr. It was sadly dumped DTV in the US. It pretty much bombed world wide and nearly made Refn's production company go bankrupt. To save himself Refn made Pusher 2 & 3 for the sole purpose to pull his production company out of debt. Fear X featured an oscar worthy performance from John Tuturro.

Movie Review: Corruption (1968, Columbia Pictures/Grindhouse Releasing)

...why exactly is Peter Cushing...or rather, why is the character he plays in the sleazy, tension-filled, slightly campy and unflinchingly visceral 1968 horror thriller "Corruption"...renowned surgeon Dr. John Rowan, so freakin' mad, huh?? I mean, we're not talking something as simple as 'just stubbed my big toe on the curb', 'dammit, someone took my last jello in the 'fridge' or 'yer' cheatin' at cards, pard'ner' mad, here. No sirree, Bob...we're talking something more like outright mad-as-a-hatter, complete mental breakdown, 'I'm gonna chase ya' down, and if I catch ya', I'm gonna slice ya' up with this scalpel', blood-lusting psycho killer mad. At least, for this viewer, that was the first impression, in first becoming privy of the 1968 film, "Corruption"...

...before eliciting a conclusive 'theory' to this query, given this opportunity to view "Corruption" for the first time, this viewer cannot help but kick things off by expressing an absolute love of movies trailers...especially those wrought from the guilded age of the drive-in and grindhouse cinema, from the mid '60's...say, to the mid '80's. As they are obviously intended to do, the movie trailers 'sell' the film, and the more viscerally descriptive and exploitatively in-your-face, the trailer is, the better to draw in the eager, albeit unsuspecting viewer...especially this viewer. In some cases 'exploitative' is almost synonymous to 'deceptive', and often, such deceptive exploitation can fool the hapless viewer into thinking that the film is something that it ultimately proves not to be. More than often enough, this strategy culminates into the trailer being something better than the movie itself; however, there's the occasion when a movie trailer, in being evasive, deceptive, and at the same time exploitative, hides the fact that the movie itself is a powderkeg, and the trailer...as shamelessly circus-barker impressive as it might be, or tries to be...is merely an anticipatory fuse...

Movie Review: Sex Hunter 1980 (1980, Nikkatsu/Impulse/Synapse)

...really gotta hand it to the folks over at the Nikkatsu Film Corporation, during their successful reign of what they have coined 'Roman Porno' (...that's 'romantic pornography'...though, this viewer originally assumed that the 'roman' moniker, referred to a flavor of Roman eroticism, which actually might be understandable, to some, in such an assumption). Most of their productions (...at least, the one's which this viewer has thus far partaken of) have allowed viewers to engage a rather compelling storyline, amidst the graphic sexcapades, which these films are normally known for. And these storylines are, for the most part, interesting enough to captivate and draw the unwary viewer in...until such point that the often graphic & fetish-flavored eroticism kicks in, and hits the viewer with a shock to the system, not unlike that of an ounce of everclear, instantly hitting the brain. And such is the case, once again, with a recently released episode from 1980, called "Sex Hunter"...a torrid tale, made exponentially all the more reflective of the imitable Nikkatsu storytelling style, in that the main character, herself, embraces a subtle innocence...a vulnerable and naive innocence, which is abruptly and shockingly made corrupt, through a trial of eroticism, most outrageous and forbidden...

Movie Review: Tower Block (2012, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Shout Factory has brought us a nice little treat from across the pond. That flick is “Tower Block”, the flick is a lean, mean and vicious machine. Directed with a break neck pace by first time filmmakers James Nunn & Ronnie Thompson. This little flick was written by James Moran who's a veteran of British television. He's written episodes for everything from Doctor Who, Torchwood & Primeval. Unlike those series that were heavy on the syfy, this film is set firmly in reality. If anything the film is more akin to Moran's first writing credit, the criminally underrated horror/comedy “Severance”. Tower Block isn't a horror film at all but the film features a tight script and breathless suspense. Moran even injects a bit of humor here and there to lighten things up a bit. The flick falls in line with other siege movies, Assault on Precinct 13 being one of the biggest influences.

Even the brief opening text echoes Precinct 13 while informing you of the history of tower blocks. “The Tower Block was first built for affordable living after the world war. Communities welcomed them as their excellent views made them popular places to live. They deteriorated and became a breeding ground for crime and violence. Re-developers took over, knocking them down. However, it's not easy moving out existing tenants. Serenity House awaits demolition. The top floor residents are the final people left to be rehoused.”. The films tone is set right from the start as a young man runs for his life, being chased by two hooded thugs. He runs into the Serenity Tower Block and bangs on doors, only to be ignored by the tenants. As they listen behind locked doors to the sounds of the teen being beat to death. This scene sadly has to much resemblance to reality where people often turn a blind eye to the events unfolding around them.

Disturbing Documentary "Zero Killed" Coming From Cult Epics!

Controversial Documentary Film about the Most discussed Topic in the News!

ZERO KILLED

Premieres on DVD: July 23, 2013

Los Angeles, CA (July 2013.) If someone murdered a person you love, how would you feel about it? Are soldiers murderers? Should torture be legalized? How to define good and evil? Since 1996 film director Michal Kosakowski has been asking people with different backgrounds about their murder fantasies and staged these as short films.

The Awards winning film ‘Zero Killed’ is an unconventional hybrid of feature film and documentary, that makes viewers question their personal and social positions concerning ethical and moral values and taboos. This candid confessional of the taboo criminal fantasies, which exist in the minds of normal people is shocking. Fictional crime stories may flood today’s cinemas, but this copulation of fictional crimes challenges us all to look more deeply into the mirror, or more closely at our neighbor. Is evil inside all of us?