Movie Review: The Looking Glass (2011)

Directed by Colin Downey
Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Scene: Two 1950's scientists in a planetary observatory. One of them spots something in his telescope.

Scientist: Dr. Mason! Dr. Mason! … I'm sorry. I guess it was nothing. A sudden light reflection, it startled me!

Dr. Mason: No doubt a comet or a meteor!

Scientist: No, it seemed to be a drill-shaped thing, revolving. I don't know,  It must have been imagination, but it did make me realize how desperately alone the earth is. Hanging in the space like a speck of food floating in the ocean .sooner or later to be swallowed up by some creature floating by!

Dr. Mason: Oh come, now!

Scientist: Time will tell Dr. Mason. We can only wait … and wonder how … and wonder when ...

This scene, scored with the same library music found in Night of the Living Dead (1968)  is from the classic 1959 clunker Teenagers from Outer Space (1959) and is played off a TV set in The Looking Glass. The existential dread serves as commentary in regards to the plight of its protagonist, Paul (Patrick O'Donnell).

Movie Review: 2 Guns (2013, Universal Pictures)

...in the past few years, a most unique and unconventional phenomenon, akin to recent genre films, has taken...and continues to take place: the acquisition and production of feature films, based upon much more obscure graphic comic book properties, which are considerably lesser-known by the general public, and which go against the grain, as far as typical conventions and standards, normally expected by the devoted masses, in films like these. Coming in below the radar, just beneath the surface, and sometimes, breezing in and out of attention, like a whiff...overshadowed by comic book-themed juggernauts, featuring overly familiar bat-men, spider-men, men of steel and mutants...are the oddities...the curiosities...the misfits, which under the deftly welded hands of writers, producers and directors, have wrought...give or take, the occasional schlocky clunker or two...some rather interesting, embraceable and quite entertaining results. In some cases, wildly imaginative and eclectically conceived...never mind, the now-popular, unconventional staples of "Men in Black" and "Kick-Ass"...we're talking more the blood-spattering, barbarous exploits of "Solomon Kane"...the well-armed, hyperkinetic retirees of "RED"...the supernaturally-driven, humanity-devoted sleuthing of "Dylan Dog" and "R.I.P.D."...these comic book genre 'oddballs' are out to prove that they can garnish a life, and a foothold on the genre, as equally capable as those of the high-flying, dark-cowled, web-spinning, razor-clawed variety. And so, getting much more down to earth...kicking up the dust, with all barrels a-blazin', and verbal quips a-spewin'...with the riotously rollicking force of a Michael Bay/Bruckheimer actioner (...which, in a good number of ways, it resembles), we have the 'new kid on the block' as far as tapping into that obscure graphic comic book well; flying off the drawn & paneled pages, and onto the screen...with dynamically explosive results, no less...it's "2 Guns"...

Movie Review: The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

It's Day 11 in the David Hayes 12 Days of Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza and, thankfully, it is almost over. Almost like a Christmas miracle. Most definitely un-miraculous, though, is our entry for this Christmas Eve. Watching this film would turn Scrooge back into the awful miser he was before the ghostly visits. Watching this film would make George Bailey want to stay dead. Watching this film just sucks.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me... hope, because there is only one day left.

Peer with me, folks, a scant ten years ago. Eric Stanze, he of the cutting edge independent horror (like Ice from the Sun and Scrapbook) decides to write and appear in a comedy. Right off the bat we know that this comedy will be irreverent, gory and, probably, a lot of fun. Two out of three is definitely bad. I nearly bought a bag of chestnuts to shove into my mouth and attempt suicide halfway through this film. Bear with me, true believers, as we delve into The Christmas Season Massacre.

Buy Christmas Season Massacre on DVD!

Movie Review: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)

Oh joy! Oh happiness! It is a Christmas miracle! Folks, fans and fiends it is finally Day 12 of the David Hayes Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza! This means no more egg nog-scented night terrors, no more green and red bloodshot eyes and no more crazy holiday movies. I feel like running out and hugging everyone. Much like Ebeneezer Scrooge after the final ghost appeared, I want to run in the streets and give gifts to the bastard little children. Why? For this final film I've given myself a little gift. It isn't a holiday movie, per se, but it is a gift to myself and what better time can someone have than at an amusement park?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me... nothing, I gave this to myself!

It's 1978 and I am seven years old. It's All Hallow's Eve and I've begged, for nearly a week, to stay up a little later than usual. You see, in the 1970s there was this concept called the “TV Movie.” Essentially, it was an original movie made specifically for television. The Night Stalker, starring Darrin McGavin is, arguably, the most popular of these but the TV Movie has a long and rich history of crappy filmmaking. For those of you old enough you may remember The Ewok Adventure, The Star Wars Holiday Special (see Day 3 of the Palooza), Columbo and many, many more. This particular Halloween, though, had been on my mind for months. You see, my absolute favorite band at the time, KISS, were to be featured in this TV Movie. Better still, KISS were to play themselves (you know, hard rocking super heroes with magical powers) and had to go head to head with an evil arch nemesis. Friends, look into the craptacular awesomeness that is KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and rock and roll all night!

Buy Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park on VHS!

Movie Review: Ip Man: The Final Fight (2013, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Quick history lesson for anyone who isn't familar with Ip Man. Long story short his was the man who taught Wing Chun to Bruce Lee. 

IP MAN: THE FINAL FIGHT is the fifth film thus far to tell the story of Ip. The first two starred Donnie Yen as a middle aged Ip. They were excellent pictures but they were focused on amazing action set pieces choreographed by Sammo Hung then they were on telling an accurate story of the real life Ip.

After the first two Ip Men films with Donnie Yen were huge hits world wide it was only a matter of time before more Ip films were to follow. Donnie had no interest in returning to make a third film since he figured he couldn't top Part II (He was right). So director Herman Yau, known for his CAT III films such as Untold Story and Ebola Syndrome stepped in to make "The Legend Is Born". The third in the series which starred Dennis To as a slightly younger Ip. It was an alright fight flick but nothing special.

Movie Review: The Crippled Masters 2: Two Crippled Heroes (1980)

During my 34 year existence I've seen many films. There are a handful of movies that I like to call my "I'm going to hell" films. My friends, these are movies I love that are so morally reprehensible and just plain wrong to most viewers . They're that bad, and may just put me in Hades with a seat next to Michael Jackson. A few examples that come to mind are T.F Mou's Men Behind the Sun, Addio Zio Uncle Tom, Pasolini's Salo: 120 Days of Sodom and the recent atrocity, A Serbian Film. The film I'm reviewing for you today, Crippled Heroes, is in that dubious category. Apprehensive Films have not-so apprehensively unleashed the two sequels spawned from the cult hit, Crippled Masters - Fighting Life and Crippled Heroes.

Buy The Crippled Masters 2: Two Crippled Heroes on DVD!

Movie Review: The Whip and the Body (Blu-ray,1963)

During the heyday of Britain's glorious Hammer Studios productions and Italy's grand gothic horror cycle, two men were huge contributors to the very best genre films had to offer - Christopher Lee (Dracula: Prince Of Darkness) and Italy's Master of Horror, Mario Bava (Black Sunday and Black Sabbath). On the heels of the success of Black Sabbath, to many a horror fan's delight, director Mario Bava joined forces with the popular English actor to make The Whip and the Body. Kino-Lorber has now given the film its Blu-ray debut which should indeed please Bava admirers.

The Whip and the Body is a tale about love, lashes and murder at the massive Menliff Manor. Kurt (Christopher Lee) rides a horse galloping furiously towards his old home, much to the dismay of his family. The family rightfully has a beef with Kurt as he's abusive whip-wielding murderer; but they are far from perfect. Kurt's brother, Christian (Tony Kendall) is married to their cousin, Nevenka (Daliah Lavi). To make matters even crazier, Kurt has a heavily sadomasochistic relationship with their stunning relative. Naturally, Nevenka and Kurt hook up for a bit of fun -- but unfortunately for Kurt not too long after he is found dead with a neat slit in his throat from ear to ear.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #124 - Kevin's Christmas List

Kevin talks about the latest Godzilla trailer and admits to liking the previous remake. He then goes into a list of Christmas movies that he loves, hates, feels indifferent about and thinks you should watch.

Dave also pops in with a quick review from the set of Dead Quiet.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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Movie Review: Excision (2012, New Normal Films/Anchor Bay)

...for this viewer, as many might agree, a genre film, which garnishes just the right measure of negative reception, or which exploits the potential for that measured degree of negative reception, or even purposefully and gainfully sets itself up for that potential, just for sensationalism...that is, without going so overboard, that it kills the actual film's potential, may the film be good or bad...is pretty damn cool, in this viewer's book. It's like old-age cliché of heavy traffic on the highway, as the result of a multi-vehicle accident; once knowing that there's been an accident ahead, who isn't gonna stop for moment and gawk at the destructive mayhem, as they drive by?? And if there's bloodshed or injury involved...well, all the more probable, as far as the curious 'lookie-loos'. As far as genre films...especially if they are over-the-top disturbing, or graphic, and whether or not there's method to the filmmaker's madness...purpose, associated his or her twisted and disturbing vision...well, damn the critics!! If word gets out that because of the content of a film, medical personnel and vehicles are stationed at the theater...or if people are reportedly fainting in the theater aisles, as the result of watching the film...or if picketers, with signs menacingly and shakingly upheld, attempt to divert movie-goers...or even when staunch and stiff-shirted critics lambaste & petition against a particular movie, warning that 'you should adamantly not see this movie, because it (...fill in the blank; heck, the late Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel used to do that, all the time)...whether such things are staged or not...well, much like the fact that a measurably greasy laden take-out bag might well be the sign of 'fine' cuisine, within...most ardent genre fans, like this viewer, might probably be the first in line, to view the cinematic 'ugliness', suggested by the naysayers, who in most cases, haven't bothered to even watch what they are speaking out against...

...in this viewer's book...uh, what was that old saying about "...if you can't stand the heat...???"...

Book Review: Christmas is Cancelled (2013, Splatterpunk)

I am a huge fan of twisted, irreverent holiday tales. Take institutions that have been around, sometimes for hundreds of years, and twist them until those institutions are absolutely unrecognizable. That, my friends, is true subversion. The fact that one would be willing to pervert the iconic ideas and imagery that many people hold dear is a testament to that artist’s desire to be a discordant voice, challenging the singsong of the majority who follow one another blindly, sheepishly, in a three part harmony of tradition. Christmas is Cancelled by Dan Henk, the first in a series of extreme horror chapbooks released by Splatterpunk in the UK, shoots straight for the heart of our highly-stylized Christmas traditions with a kill shot and, by all accounts, is mostly successful.

Buy Christmas is Cancelled HERE.

Movie Review: The Amityville Horror Trilogy (Blu-ray)

Oh, how audiences love that phrase, "Based on a true story." It's been such a wonderful way to reel in horror fans, especially to some of the biggest genre films ever put on screen. Though they're just loosely based, Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre literally made a "killing" with audiences and critics alike with the big draw being that the events were possibly factual. Jay Anson's best-selling book, The Amityville Horror was another supposed true event brought to the screen by director Stuart Rosenberg. Scream Factory’s popular line of horror classics now include the first three movies: The Amityville Horror, Amityville II: The Possession and Amityville III: The Demon in a lovely Blu-ray boxset, sporting new high-definition transfers and a generous selection of extra features.

When the Lutz family (Margot Kidder and James Brolin) find an amazing bargain on a massive house, they jump into it. Excited to get settled, the family begins their life with their new home not expecting more than maybe a few minor inconveniences get a little more than what they anticipated. The house is haunted by ghosts and demons from some horrific previous events. These entities do everything in their power to scare the living shit out of the Lutz's so they get the hell out. The Amityville Horror is strong on atmosphere and naturally the house is the star over any of the leading players (Kidder, Brolin). With that said, both those actors do a serviceable job of making this one of the more enjoyable haunted house films ever put to film. Rod Steiger fans though, you may wince every time he's on time on screen as he stinks up the place in his turn as the crusty Father Delaney. 

Movie Review: THE ODD ANGRY SHOT (1979)

Directed by Tom Jeffrey

Harry (Graham Young) is a young Australian pup who's signed up to become part of the SAS, part of his country's military participating in the Vietnam War. It's 1969, and his parents throw him a going away party. Peter, Paul and Mary's “Leaving On a Jet Plane” is spun on the record, and his has one last final shag with his Sheila. He's then off to war, and he hunkers down with his fellow Aussies. He deals with the constant rain, drunkenness – Australians were up to their tits in Foster's Lager at this point, even in the thick of battle and boredom of camp life. A much older soldier, Rogers (Bryan Brown) relates how he signed up after his career as a fine artist failed and his wife left him. He schools Harry on how unpopular the war has become, and how the people there will be people who welcome him home and tell him how proud they are of him …. which will last about a week after his return.

The Odd Angry Shot is a highly regarded Australian film that many hail as a classic. Dealing with Australia's contributions to the war effort,  American audiences, accustomed to high-octane actioners such as Saving Private Ryan (1992) have found Shot to be on the dull side. It's been given kudos for this very fact, by others who say it accurately reflects the military experience. Any serviceman will tell you that life on the front lines isn't all high-strung heroics. There's a lot of boredom waiting around for the next shoe to fall, they say. Add to this an adherence to military bureaucracy, many young men who sign up to serve their country are frustrated by their government's rules and regulations at every turn.

Movie Review: Drug War (2012, Blu-ray)

Reviewed By James DePaolo

Drug War is the latest film from Hong Kong filmmaker Johnnie To. I feel no matter what I write after that, people will have their minds made up if this film is for them. Now, before you keep that train of thought let me tell you I had the same thought being I was also a fan of To. I know people are still trying to figure out where he is coming from after Life Without Principle, which was action lite and more of a thriller that he wanted to try and to put in the Oscar race.

Drug War seems to be his take on the classic cops and robbers chase films. To be honest, I did not hate the film as much as I did not think this is To at his best. This film takes the police against organized crime lords in a film that I feel suffers from the pace that To tries to keep. The film is shot to be fast paced, but the script and characters seem to drag the story. I mean To has a reputation off these kinds of films, in his homeland he is the king of these gritty crime stories and I just feel that this film comes across more like Romero who is the king of all zombie films giving us Survival of the Dead. China is now governed in this way that if you are caught dealing with drugs or manufacturing them you are sentenced to death. So when Timmy is caught with drugs instead of killing him he helps Captain Zhang with a bigger drug ring to help uncover it. He has only 72 hours or he will face his demise for the drugs.

Collector's Edition of THE SHADOW (starring Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Ann Miller) arrives on Feb 25, 2014

THE SHADOW

Starring Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Ann Miller,

Peter Boyle, Ian McKellen, Jonathan Winters and Tim Curry

COLLECTOR’S EDITION BLU-RAY™

Featuring New High Definition Transfer and All-New Interviews with

Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller and Filmmaker Russell Mulcahy

INVADES HOME ENTERTAINMENT SHELVES EVERYWHERE

OWN IT ON FEBRUARY 25, 2014 FROM SHOUT! FACTORY

Who knows what evil lurks in the shadow of men? The Shadow knows! Adapted from the long-running classic radio program and Walter B. Gibson’s popular pulp fiction, legendary crime-fighting superhero The Shadow comes to life in the 1994 film adaptation THE SHADOW, starring Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) from visionary filmmaker Russell Mulcahy (Resident Evil: Extinction, Highlander). Brimming with non-stop action and suspense, this wildly entertaining cinematic adventure also stars John Lone (The Last Emperor), Penelope Ann Miller (Carlito’s Way), Peter Boyle (Everybody Loves Raymond), Ian McKellen (X-Men), Jonathan Winters (The Smurfs) and Tim Curry (The Rocky Horror Picture Show). On February 25, 2014, Shout! Factory will release THE SHADOW: COLLECTOR’S EDITION Blu-ray™, featuring new high definition transfer of this cult classic and all-new interviews with filmmaker Russell Mulcahy, Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller and more.  A must-have for movie collectors and pop culture enthusiasts to complete their entertainment library, this definitive collector’s edition Blu-ray release of THE SHADOW is priced to own at $29.93 SRP.

Movie Review: Danguard Ace: The Movie Collection (1977, Toei Animation/Shout Factory)

...most genre aficionados have a fairly good idea of when they were first privy of the category of animation, coined as 'anime'; for some...much like this ardent viewer...it was a uniquely visual oddity, which one grew up with...at some point, forsaken for a stretch...and then, picked up later, when the artistry of this particular venue of animated storytelling, had evolved, considerably. Oh yes, thinking back upon the early days of embraced amine...that is, before such productions were called 'anime', and were merely known as 'cartoons'...how uniquely individual, were these engrossing and embraceable animated imports, as compared to countless American youths' regular domestic diet of animation, from cartoon 'factories', such as Warner Brothers, Filmation, Tex Avery and Hanna-Barbara. Amongst the best...Speed Racer. Gigantor. Astro-Boy. Kimba, the White Lion. Personal would-be 'anime' favorites, shuffled in amongst domestic classics...the simple and jerky rendered animation of such, translated and dubbed for domestic consumption...and betraying what made these imported 'toons so darned compelling: the ability to present likable, relatable and embraceable characters, engaging in fantastic, albeit complex and emotionally-driven stories. For this viewer, as mentioned previous, one...well, as the old saying goes, "...one has to grow up, sometime" (...uh, bite your tongue, you stiff-shirted 'inner mature' voice of reason, dammit), and as such, there came a time, as a youth, to move onto other things...in this viewer's case, it meant taking a sabbatical from dedicated animation viewing...those Saturday morning and after-school respites, and...well, OK, I admit it...this viewer did occasionally take a peek through the crack of an unclosed door, to see where the world of anime was taking ardent viewers, both domestically and internationally...

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #123 - The Iceman Cometh

Kevin discusses the Paul Walker tragedy and the social media response. He also gives his review of Michael Shannon's latest biopic The Iceman.

Jeff chimes in with a few recommendations including work from Mario Bava and more.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

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The Italian Zombie Epic "Nightmare City" Debuts on Blu-ray December 31st From Raro Video!

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 2, 2013 - Raro Video is proud to announce the Blu-ray and DVD release of Umberto Lenzi's zombie horror film Nightmare City in a new HD transfer from the original 35mm negative and packed with special features.

Nightmare City comes to Blu-ray and DVD with a street date of December 31st and a prebook date of December 3rd. The Blu-ray SRP is $34.95, and the DVD SRP is $29.95. Special features include: an interview with Umberto Lenzi (49:27); original English trailer (3:45); original Italian trailer (3:45); a fully illustrated booklet on the genesis and production of the film by Chris Alexander, Fangoria Magazine; new HD transfer digitally restored; and new and improved English subtitle translation.

Movie Review: The Doll Squad

Reviewed by:

Hal Astell











Tura Satana got to be ahead of the curve a couple of times in her career. Our Man Flint dealt with man-made global warming in 1966. Here, Ted V Mikels starts The Doll Squad with the Challenger shuttle explosion in 1973. Well, it's really the launch of a rocket called Star-Flight XII but it does seem rather prophetic, especially as it lifts off from Cape Kennedy. The difference here is that the disintegration is deliberate, as a mysterious voice tells Senator Stockwell, head of the Defense Committee, right after launch but before the explosion. Fortunately, he has an IBM System 360 just down the corridor, with punch-cards and colored buttons and the ability to decide from next to no information which department should attack a particular problem. This time, the teleprinter suggests the Doll Squad as the most capable to investigate, under the leadership of SO-1 Sabrina Kincaid. This is Our Man Flint all over again, but with chicks kicking ass.

As you can imagine, the Doll Squad is a squad of dolls. In case, you don't grasp the concept from the name or the action that unfolds in lurid negative colors behind the credits, the tagline should do the trick. 'They're beautiful!' it reads. 'They're dangerous! They're deadly!' Really, that in itself is enough to warrant a viewing of The Doll Squad, but it proves to be pretty capable too. Sure, it's obviously not shot with a huge budget, the quarter of a million dollars Mikels claims to have spent on it certainly not all going on the production itself. It looks a lot better than The Corpse Grinders, made a year earlier, and it goes back to what Mikels did best, showcasing strong women. There's a lot more consistency than in The Astro-Zombies: all the characters, whether male or female, seem capable and decisive, the light feels appropriate and the changes of scenery are believable. The soundtrack is dated but appropriate. It all feels like an Andy Sidaris film without boobs.

Movie Review: "Savages Crossing" (2011, Winnah Films/MVD Visual)

...often, it has been said that, movie-wise, the best ideas have long since been used up, and the ideas that are out there, are invariably being recycled, re-written and tweaked, here and there, with the initial concepts themselves alone being stale, but made 'fresh', or at least interesting, with the balanced and engaging interaction of characters involved in the concepts' scenarios. Hmmm!! Makes sense, in supposing that although the scenarios change very little, the countlessly imagined and written variety of characters...like combined chemicals...elicit different reactions and interactions...the ol' game of 'what if this type of person is thrown together with that type of person, and this type of person, and that type of person'. Looking back at the spectrum of films, spanning as far back as...well, as far back as the very beginning, the age-old scenario of a group of people...all from different walks of life, in some way, shape or form...some strangers, some not strangers, and some clearly pretending to be something, they are not...trapped together, as the result of some threat...be it monsters, gang members, frontier Indians, zombies, giant saber-toothed killer mutant gerbils...or even something as crashingly elemental as inclemently deliberating weather...with clashing egos, personality conflicts, tit-for-tat confrontations, underlinging vengeful intent, or simply the desperate act of survival, itself. In the end, if the characters aren't engagingly written well, or are ill-conceived and cliched to the point where the interaction is hardly relatable or interesting, then the well-worn scenario itself hardly matters, and the whole ball of wax falls apart. As visually striking and grim as the film proves to be, regrettably, such is the case with the lackluster, shoulder-shrugging, though somewhat redeemingly atmospheric and harrowing Aussie thriller from 2011, "Savages Crossing"......

Cinematic Hell: Santa Claus (1959)

by Hal Astell

Director: René Cardona

Stars: José Elías Moreno, Pulgarcito, José Luis Aguirre and Armando Arriola

Given that summer is here and the temperatures in west Phoenix are dancing around a hundred, I felt it was time for Mexican Christmas, courtesy of K Gordon Murray. He didn't just bring bizarre Mexican horror movies like The Brainiac north of the border, he brought a lot of bizarre Mexican movies for kids too, this one perhaps the most famous and the most bizarre of the bunch. Also, given that I'm writing while Arizona waits for SB1070 to become law and the substantial Hispanic population talks about the potential for racial discrimination, I couldn't help but read into this film commentary on how Mexicans see themselves. The best reality is found in fantasy, after all, and this one goes whole hog, way out there, because the Mexican Santa Claus, while obviously well known enough to get a movie of his very own, really isn't that similar to the equivalents we know from our own countries. In fact this Santa Claus mythology is well, rather customised.