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Showing posts with label thriller. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thriller. Show all posts

December 20, 2021

Breeder (2020) Movie Review

Okay, this flick is even more recent than the last one I reviewed so I will definitely not spoil anything. Though, honestly, the further you get into the movie, the more predictable it becomes so you’d probably figure it out long before I could spoil it.

*shrug* It is what it is.

Breeder is about a mad scientist who’s trying to find a cure for the aging process. And yes, she sees aging as a disease, not a natural course of existence. That kinda gives you an idea of what we’re dealing with here. So she decides the best way to find just the right procedure is to kidnap young women and experiment on them via torture and…fertilization.

Interpret that anyway you want. All will be revealed by the end.

Thomas is the financial guy for this corporation and he’s keeping A LOT of secrets from his wife, Mia. Which, as any human will know, the more a mystery presents itself to us, THE MORE WE MUST SOLVE IT. This leads Mia to becoming part of the experimentations and discovering exactly what this corporation and mad doctor are up to in order to keep the human race young and beautiful.

Beauty is pain, so they say, but dayum…

 

That’s all I’m going to tell you.

The good things in this flick are the acting and the cinematography. Thomas, Mia, Dr. Ruben, and one of the doctor’s henchmen, The Dog (yes, that’s his character name) have the most screen time and are the more important players. I think Mia and The Dog are the most interesting and somewhat complementary. That may seem weird as The Dog is a misogynistic sadist and she’s a housewife/athlete with some unfulfilled kink desires. But they play off each other so well. I have to contribute that to the talents of Sara Hjort Ditlevsen and Morten Holst. Thomas and Dr. Ruben are a bit more cliché but it works for the storyline. Anders Heinrichsen and Signe Egholm Olsen play them beautifully, even when you want to punch them in the throat.

I would have to say that of all the captured women, the one who never speaks emotes more anguish and anger than any of the other victims. She’s pretty powerful, emotionally speaking. And the final shot of revenge against one of the henchmen is very satisfying to watch. No words, just animalistic brutality.

Does that make me a bit of a sadist, too? Maybe…

There is a scene at the end that absolutely made me weep but I can’t really tell you about it because that does give away a bit of the story. You’ll have to watch for yourself.

Every woman's POV at the OBGYN.

The cinematography is brilliant. While the suburb where most people live is pleasant and pretty, and the face of the corporation is enticing, the building where this experimentation is going on is appropriately disgusting. Dark, dank, filthy, claustrophobic, inescapable. It reflects Dr. Ruben’s mania, her henchmen’s brutality, and the victims’ hopelessness.

Once place where this movie fails is the pacing. It didn’t need to be an hour and forty-seven minutes. They could have cut out at least twenty minutes of scenery or running or meeting with investors for the project. I checked my watch twice during the viewing so that’s not a good sign. It’s almost expected for a movie to lose a viewer’s interest once (usually around the halfway mark) but consistently through every act? Less than optimal.

Another issue I had is the story. Some of the twists were predictable to a degree, others just made me scratch my head. The whole anti-aging procedure…I’m pretty sure there are easier and LEGAL ways to do what Dr. Ruben wanted. I don’t know if this was supposed to take place years before STEM cell research was even a thing or getting genetic material from women was taboo or illegal or what. I can’t remember for sure but I think people had smart phones so…that would mean present day.

That goes along with the “let’s just make this über extreme so people know how fucked up this is,” as if kidnapping women and hiring a sadist as their guard wasn’t enough to let us know. It screams of trying too hard, you know? Especially the garbage can reveal. Trust me on this one. *gag*

Overall, it’s a decent thriller with some horrific and gross elements. And just listening to the actors speak Danish is fun (I love listening to foreign languages which is why subtitles don’t bother me one bit). It’s nothing groundbreaking or spectacular, but it is a spectacle at times with great acting.

 

2 hatchets (out of 5)




 

 


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August 8, 2021

The Divine Fury (2019) Movie Review

I actually didn’t plan to write up a review on this film. I wanted to spend the evening watching a Korean horror movie and just enjoy it. WELL…it’s the next day and I’m still thinking about how much I liked the film, despite its few flaws, and wanted to share, okay? STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!

Anyway…

Since this film just came out a couple of years ago, I will do my best to remain spoiler free. I don’t promise shit, but I’ll try.

The Divine Fury is, at its core, a movie about faith. It’s dressed up with MMA fighting and bare chested healthy young men (*ROWR*), kick ass fight scenes, cool special effects, and a kicking soundtrack. But if you take all that away, it’s about faith. And I think I can even stretch that to say it doesn’t necessarily have to be about faith in one God. It could apply to faith in anything or anyone.

Let me break it down a bit more.

Yong-hu has grown up (movie starts off with him around 10 years old perhaps?) without a mom. She died during childbirth. He and his dad, a local police officer, live out their days as happily as they can. Right off the bat, the issue of faith in God and the power of prayer is established in Yong-hu. He doesn’t understand that even though his dad prayed really hard, Yong-hu’s mom still died. And after his father is severely injured in a hit and run, the local priest tells Yong-hu that if he prays really hard, God will save his dad.

Well, what do you suppose happens?

From that moment on, Yong-hu has no faith, doesn’t believe in God, and every time he sees a cross or some kind of Christian religious symbolism, he flies into a rage. 20 years later that helps with his MMA career, but his soul? Not so much. By holding on to that hatred and anger, he allows demons to surround him at all times. The voice in his head, that he thinks is just his own, is the manipulation demons uses against him.

After suffering from nightmares, Yong-hu develops a stigmata in his right palm. Not sure what to do, his driver suggests a legit shaman – the driver’s niece. She tells Yong-hu he needs to go find a priest at a church not far from his home and he’ll help.

Yong-hu finds the priest during a hella exorcism and ends up helping the older priest on his missions. During all of these, we learn of the Black Bishop, someone who uses religious rights to summon demons. This BB is in town and he’s wreaking havoc. They need to stop him PDQ.

Evil never looked so sexy...

In his journey helping Father Ahn exorcise demons, Yong-hu realizes that his father’s ring, and the energy his father passed along before he crossed over to Heaven, gave Yong-hu some powerful blood that can dispel demons. Handy that he’s got stigmata, amirite? His blood and a little douse of Holy Water sets those demons aflame and back to Hell. So Yong-hu ends up battling the Black Bishop, saving everyone in town from the powers of evil.

 

Now, full disclosure for anyone new, I have a bias toward South Korean television and movies. I’m addicted to K-dramas, to put it bluntly, and Korea does a great job with horror films. So I probably liked this movie more than a ‘normal’ person would. There are flaws here, for sure, but for the most part I could overlook them because I enjoyed so many other aspects of the film.

For the bad: this movie is 2 hours and 15 minutes. No movie needs to be that long, seriously. Not just for the short attention span folks of my generation (I blame MTV) but also just the comfort level. I can’t imagine watching this in a theater. Even from my cozy couch, my back got stiff and I fidgeted a lot to remain comfortable. We didn’t need four to five examples of how the bad guy gets what he wants from the main demon. That was established with two. Didn’t need three to four exorcisms with Father Ahn to understand how taxing and difficult they are. Not exactly sure how the awkward fan interactions with Yong-hu progressed the story in any way (spoiler: they didn’t).


Bitch, I look good.

The CGI was a mixed bag. I always appreciate practical effects when they can be utilized, but I do understand some stuff just has to be done by computer. Unfortunately, some of it was not the highest quality and came off as cartoonish. But some was really cool and certainly enhanced the story. As for the story, most of it is well written and developed. Though there are quite a few trite and cliché moments throughout the film, you quickly forget about them as the action picks up or the character development progresses.

Mostly those were my issues. The story, cinematography, soundtrack, fight choreography, editing, sound, acting, and directing certainly made up for any flaws. Many of these can be subjective (any kind of artistic direction or music choice, for sure) but there’s no doubt as to the acting talent. Park Seo-jun (Yong-hu) shows us a young man consumed with anger toward God who then evolves and can finally let go of that blackness to help those in need. Ahn Sung-ki (Father Ahn) has been acting since he was 5-years old. Though Father Ahn is fighting demons throughout the film, the character is so gentle and patient with Yong-hu, despite the younger man’s vitriol aimed at him.

But I think my favorite actor was Woo Do-hwan (Ji-Sin, aka The Black Bishop). He plays this attractive, smooth, unassuming club owner. His subversive nature, though, is in service of a terrible snake demon and the way he manipulates people to do what he wants is rather unnerving. He has no qualms about removing ANY obstacle and doing what’s necessary to achieve his evil goals. And guess what? He didn’t need to kill the dog to show us. Now, what he does with the dog…I won’t tell you but (and maybe this makes me a monster) it was awesome.

Also his transformation at the end looked pretty fucking tits. From what I could tell, it was practical latex/foam or something to that effect. Looked completely real and natural, you know, as far as a snake demon would look. Even as he pulled off his wet cloak, it looked like a snake shedding its skin. So fucking cool.

So if you enjoy a good versus evil story, redemption films, or demons in general (and who doesn’t??), and you don’t mind reading subtitles (please don’t watch dubbed foreign films if you don’t have to), check out The Divine Fury. You won’t be disappointed.

3.5 Hatchets (out of 5)






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July 31, 2021

The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019) Movie Review

Okay, hear me out. This is not my usual fare, here or on my own website. But to give you a quick backstory, I found a YouTuber who reviews bad films and inserts comedic material (commentary and green screen stuff – it’s pretty hilarious. Jamie French, look her up.). She does more wholesome, family friendly stuff and Hilary Duff is the subject of at least three of these reviews.

Yes, Lizzie McGuire herself (though I never watched any of the LM stuff as I was already a grown-ass woman when that came out and not the demographic target).

Anyhoo, Jamie comments multiple times that Hilary isn’t all that bad an actress. I would agree for the most part but I wanted to see her in something a little more heavy, dramatic, and serious. Amazon Prime is streaming the movie I’m reviewing and I gotta say, Hilary did not deserve the Razzie she received for her work in it.

Let’s break it down a bit, shall we? Though, in not-like-me fashion at all, I will do my best to not reveal any spoilers, though this film is based on the Manson Murders so I think most of us know what the hell happens, right?

First you have to understand that this film’s story is based on two untruths – Sharon Tate’s premonition about her death, and the five victims not being murdered at all. Keep those in mind as we discuss the film, okay?

Second, because of these liberties in storytelling, lots of people, including Sharon’s sister, have decried the film as “classless” and “exploitative”. And in a sense that’s true. It seemed a lot of folks were trying to cash in on the 50th anniversary of the murders. Perhaps writer/director Daniel Farrands could have waited to film his vision, or at least release it earlier/later, depending on when he wrote it.

I can’t disagree with any of the victims’ surviving families and friends on any of their criticisms. I have never had someone I loved viciously murdered by a gang of doped up fuckwads manipulated into action by one of the biggest megalomaniacal psychotics to ever exist. But at the same time, I can appreciate what Farrands was trying to do with his film. He wanted to take the focus away from The Family and focus on the victims, to give them the power instead.

The story veers from historical events like this: In the days leading up to her murder, Sharon is having nightmares and premonitions about her pending death. Though her friends chalk it up to the hormonal imbalances produced by pregnancy, and missing her husband, she can’t shake the feeling that her hallucinations, nightmares, and the almost intrusive musical recording of some guy, Charlie, are all linked.

When The Family does infiltrate the house, planning to murder everyone, Sharon and her friends turn the tables on the intruders. They fight back, get the jump on their would-be killers, and kill them instead. They survive the horrific night and get to continue on with their lives.




At least, until the closing scene. Alternate reality or not, there’s only so far Farrands will go before we all remember what really happened that night 52 years ago. And he brings us slamming back to reality with one of the most heartbreaking final shots I’ve seen in a film in a long time.

From what I’ve read from an interview with Farrands, and he brings this idea up in the dialog of the movie several times, he wanted to explore an alternate reality in regard to the murders.

“My version of the story is set in an alternate reality that asks questions about fate, destiny, and whether or not we have control over the ‘script’ of our lives.”

I think we all do this from time to time, playing the ‘what if’ game to determine if different choices would result in different outcomes. I don’t think he was trying to be disrespectful, or exploitative in any way. Farrands had no interest in Manson and The Family, and did not make their lifestyle or philosophies come off as sexy or interesting (which lots of filmmakers have done to the disgust of the rest of us).

It may seem like I’m defending Farrands because he created such a brilliant film. Um, not really. The film isn’t that great, to be honest. Just over 90 minutes felt too long, probably because he started with a false narrative and had to expand it will filler and slow-mo shots to get it to feature length. The pacing dragged (probably because of the aforementioned padding) which pulls you out of the story.

That said, the nightmare sequence Sharon experiences is absolutely horrifying and I found myself crying because, as we all know, those terrible things happened in real life. But I think it was the final shot, after they 'lived', that truly broke my heart. It's a scene that has stayed with me since I watched the film.




Also I have to say the acting was top notch. Hilary and Jonathan Bennet, who played Jay Sebring, were the best parts of the movie. It's nice to see Hilary broaden her acting experience. I'm not saying she's Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren, but she has definitely stretched her tween rom-com wings into adulthood.

If you have the chance to watch this movie, do it. It probably won't end up on your list of classic films or something you can watch over and over. But the idea explored in the film are worth looking at and Farrands does a good job of showing us what might have been.


3 Hatchets (out of 5)







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March 3, 2019

Movie Review: "Death Kiss" (2017; Millman Productions/Mosquito Entertainment/Uncorked Entertainment)



…”…I’m just a bill…yes, I’m only a bill…and someday I’m gonna be a law-w-w-w…oh, I hope and pray that I will, but today I am still…just a bill…”…

…no secret that in order to make for a good exploitation film…and we’re focusing on a pretty wide window, here…from the thrifty ‘30’s, to today’s torrid toddies…the classic exploitation film…well, it just has to have something to exploit, right?? A gimmick, for lack of a better word. And over the almost 100-year span of cult film history, gimmicky exploitation films have come and gone…the less enduring gimmicks, fading as surely as a film fades to black, but permanently (…hey, I’m looking at you, ‘Terror of Tiny Town’, ‘Zaat’ and ‘Lambada, the Forbidden Dance’, just to name a scant few of the come, gone and went’s)…

…however, it also stands to reason, with history having often dictated…given a well-written rendering, some dynamically memorable visuals & direction…not to mention, some accompanying performances to play alongside…well, that lil’ ol’ exploitation gimmick may well unexpectedly find itself nurtured and transmogrified into a genre…proudly and shamelessly rearing it’s muck-crusted visage into the sun…or rather onto the flickering screen of countless anytown cinematic cathedrals, indoor and outdoor…again, and again, and again…

…now, we could spend ages here, b’wees ‘n’ goils, listing and covering an endless string of cult film genres (…and truth be known, I almost did, in my own imitable, albeit exhausting fashion…uh, can you say ‘rewrite’??), from dusty grungy biker flicks, to the sex-crazed, catfight-instilling antics of women behind bars…from the far-northern offerings of Canuxploitation (…that’s Canada, to you and me), to the deep-southern reaches of ozploitation (…oh, those Aussies), and as far easterly as the home of the giallo, the spaghetti western, and the Nazi camp nasties…all of this and more, as seen from the countless steamy, musky-smelling aisles of the pitch-black inner-city grindhouse theater balconies…as well as the equally steamy and musky, albeit cramped confines of a free-wheein’ convertible at the local drive-in…

…interestingly enough, some of the more obscure and lesser exploitation genres were based directly upon specific things, specific places…even specific people and characters. Which might explain why in the ‘spaghetti western’ genre, we had countless, though mostly un-associated films on the Django and Sartana characters. Chum-chompin’ shark-spoitation, anyone?? Down home, red-necked, okie single-toothed, Kentucky- fried Hixsploitation?? Can’t get enough perversely sacrilegious, virginal deflowering Nunspoitation, right?? And leave us not forget about ass-kickin’, chop-socky Bruce-sploitation, or even Travolta-sploitation (…the single movie of which I covered herein, some years ago, with “John Travolto... da un insolito destino”…also known as “The Face with Two Left Feet”). Or how about…well, this
…Anna, a young and attractive single mother, having abruptly moved from the deliberating scourges of inner-city violence, to the seemingly peaceful, safe and reassuring country outskirts with her invalid, wheelchair-restricted daughter, is nonetheless made uneasy and cautious, when she receives mysterious packages in the mail, containing very large sums of money. As the packages continue to arrive, with no sign of who and where they might be from, Ana becomes gradually aware of an ever-vigilant and equally mysterious stranger in the distance, keenly watching the both of them with a certain elating and seemingly protective satisfaction…
…unbeknownst to Ana, this mysterious stranger…when he’s not holding a dedicated vigilance over her and her daughter…has ruthlessly staked a bloody and vengeful claim of private justice over the criminals, thieves and drug dealers in the neighboring city area, violently gunning them down in retributive cold blood, and taking their money. In the midst of relentlessly wading through a seemingly never-ending siege of slimy and grungy criminal element…with guns a-blazing, this urban terminator, slowly but surely, makes his way through the city’s crime-driven ranks, to the one nefarious perpetrator who appears to be in the center of it all…and there’s a very just, harrowing and specific reason why he’s seeking him out, at all costs…
…now, setting the wayback machine to…say, about early-to-mid ‘80’s, or so…specifically, back in Cannon Pictures reigning golden era of filmmaking…this budding reviewer and longtime fan of the great Charles Bronson, at the time, was made flashing privy via televised interviews, pictures and printed celebrity rags, of the incredible resemblance of Mr. Bronson, and his striking lookalike stand-in performer. In recalling, it was absolutely uncanny, the resemblance between the two…but for the time, the startling revelation was alas, a fleeting moment, and in all honesty, this cult film fan didn’t get a name, to match the lookalike face…

…some 35 years later…specifically, a couple years ago…along came well under the radar, a trite albeit competent and engaging lil’ western-themed thriller, called “From Hell to the Wild West”. A notable, though negligible lil’ sliver of an exploitation flick, the clever storyline of which speculates what actually happened to Jack the Ripper, once his bloody and murderous reign of terror and death in the dark and murky alleys of Whitechapel, abruptly and mysteriously ceased in the late 1800’s. However, given the film’s poster art and home video cover art, it wasn’t as much the interesting storyline that stood out…but the striking-in-appearance casting of Hungarian-hailed actor Robert Kovacs Bronzi, as a determined old west lawman, on the hunt for a ruthless and bloodthirsty serial killer, plaguing the local prairie townships…

…so now, we have a name to a rather strikingly familiar face…
…2018’s ”Death Kiss”…Robert Bronzi’s second feature film, and the second of four films to date…despite not having any solid, or even outright original substance or storyline, save for the typical and stereotyped ‘cold-hearted vigilante’ movie genre standards, similar to those set forth by the likes and dynamics of late great Charles Bronson, back in his ‘Death Wish’ days…surprisingly enough, under the able direction of up & coming schlock director Rene Perez, plays out as sort of an offshoot of a Paul Kersey-like character’s nocturnal and lawless homicidal mayhem…kinda like ol’ Paul was in the midst of one of his typically ‘blow ‘em away with extreme prejudice’ vigilante rampages, when something ‘offscreen’ went drastically awry enough to instill the need for taking care of this lil’ sideline thing, before getting back to business…with we, the viewers, being fortunate witness privy to that abrupt detour…
…really, in melding movie fantasy with reality…when the final ‘Death Wish’ film credits scrolled down the screen, surely you would think that Paul Kersey himself couldn’t have taken a breather from his bang-bang, sole justice driven shenanigans…impatiently waiting until that next sequel flashed it’s opening title card?? (…uh, I think not…clearly, the man’s got better things to do, if you know what I mean…with the lasting hint of righteously rampant blood spray, followed by a flashing whiff of bullet cartridge sulfur)…
…but despite the generic ‘Death Wish’ like, cookie-cutter action and generic storyline clock works offered herein…well dammit, there’s just no looking away from how damn freaking ‘is it real or is it Memorex/not the Beatles, but an incredible simulation’ striking it is, in seeing ‘Charles Bronson’ back on the screen, even though it’s not actually ‘the man’ himself. In effect, actor Robert Bronzi has offered up a clearly exploitative opportunist gimmick, but at the same time, it seems a loving and respectful tribute to an urban action star, long missed by fans…

…rounding out the cast…Eva Hamilton is quite vulnerable, relatable and  sympathetic as Anna, a perceptive waif of a gal who not only instigated an abrupt move to the serene countryside, in a desperate effort to get away from the violently cold, cruel and heartless city streets, as well as provide a much more stable and loving family life for her daughter…a tragic victim of those cold and hardened streets…but also in hopes of finding penance for the tainted life she once led…a life that has instilled overwhelming guilt in Ana’s heart, in believing that the mistakes and misgivings of this past life were indirectly responsible for her daughter’s invalid condition…
…cast in the role of an angst radio talk show host (…in a sort of slightly ironic years-later performance which indirectly reflects back to his brother Alec’s supporting character play, in 1988’s ‘Talk Radio’), Daniel Baldwin chimes in, playing a sort of supportive over-the-air mouthpiece to Robert Bronzi’s/the stranger’s deadly nocturnal vengeance, deftly putting into words what violently drastic actions this righteously lawless ‘champion’ is engaging in, and the effects of those actions on the city populous...and truth be known, he may well have a personally informed connection with this dark instigator of private justice…
…Richard Tyson…one of the busiest, albeit very underappreciated character actors working today (…good gawd!! Is that…it that actually Buddy Revell, from 1987’s “Three o’clock High”??)…completes this associated circle of characters, retching out a colorful, though typically cold, hard criminal type…perverse and sadistic…who finds himself the invariable target of an equally cold and hard vigilante, without knowing in the onset why he’s being targeted…but of course, if there’s any truth or routine to films of this particular genre…well, he will know, and he will pay…
…”Death Kiss” may well be short on substance, but it makes up for it’s stunted fervor, in favor of some nicely standard character play, as well as an interestingly woven, albeit threadbare storyline, which does attain a moderately satisfying revelation in the end. It’s a low-rent ‘cliff notes’ variation on the old Charles Bronson ‘Death Wish’ motif, that’s engaging enough to warrant more than just a mere curious look, and…yeah, we’re beating a dead horse here…but damn, there’s just no getting over that freakin’ resemblance of Bronzi’s character…over and above merely being played by the numbers, using the exploitative Bronson template…
might there be a respectable amount of sustainable life and staying power in this gimmick?? Hey, Bronson-sploitation, anyone?? Eh, could be…ah hell, why not, right??.....


TEXT HERE

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January 7, 2019

Movie Review: Animalistic (2015)

Okay, it’s time to get back on this movie reviewing mechanical horse! Hey, you have your mixed idioms, and I have mine…

We begin 2019 with a screener for a movie that came out in 2015 (though I just got it last summer, which is why I don’t feel too bad for being so late in bringing you this review.) Animalistic brings us the story of a young woman, Emma, who is kidnapped on her way back from a big business interview. The shady taxi driver, Shirley, chloroforms our not-so-savvy professional woman, and when she wakes, Emma finds herself the captive of a greasy man named Jim, and his slow-witted buddy, Peter.

Over the course of the next few days, Jim rapes and sodomizes Emma. Peter is more there for the gross stuff – I’m pretty sure he fucked the corpse of the previous victim – or to keep an eye on the captive while Jim goes about his normal life with his buddies, and WIFE AND KID.

Eventually, Emma finds the means to escape (a couple of times,) and is able to get revenge on her captors before walking off to freedom.

April 21, 2018

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - A Quiet Place (2018)

John Krasinski writes, directs, and stars with real life wife Emily Blunt in this tension-filled horror thriller.

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July 25, 2017

Movie Review: 9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath (2013)

All righty, folks. On to the next DVD in the stack. Let’s see here. Brought to you by Chemical Burn Entertainment…
Oh, fuck my life.
This next little slice of excrement was written, directed, produced, edited, additionally photographed by one fucking guy, Samuel M. Johnson. I know nothing about him or what’s about to go down but being distributed by Chemical Burn is a HUGE strike against him/this movie.

Funded by Kickstarter…

Oh, Fuck My Life.

9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath (I shit you not) is a unique (read: not at all) tale about Virgil who kidnaps and tortures young women to make them worthy of asking God for forgiveness. They must evolve beyond victim into the aggressor and then move on before they are complete. Inspired by Dante’s Inferno…

OH, FUCK MY LIFE!

July 1, 2017

Movie Review: Daddy's Little Girl (2012)

Okay. Let’s get this straight out into the open. This movie is not horror, even though it’s touted as such on IMDB. It’s definitely a thriller. Normally that makes me very angry because I go in with one expectation and get something completely different. In this case, though, I’m willing to forgive the false advertising because this is one of the most BRUTAL revenge thrillers I’ve ever seen. It might even top Old Boy and I Saw The Devil - or at the very least, be on par with them. And those are two nearly perfect films.

Daddy’s Little Girl is the story of Derek, a single father sharing custody with his ex-wife, Stacy, of their beautiful little girl, Georgia. Though tensions are obviously high between the two adults, Georgia seems like a very well adjusted and happy kid. So of course, something terrible happens.

May 1, 2017

Movie Review: House on Straw Hill (1975)

Oh, Udo Kier, you magnificent man who can pull us all into your films with your charisma alone. Because gods know you’re not that great of an actor and the movies you work on kinda suck…except for Ace Ventura and Johnny Mnemonic.
To hell with you all! Those were awesome movies!


House on Straw Hill is the story of Paul, a temperamental writer (who isn’t, amiwrite - see what I did there?) who sequesters himself in a country cottage to work on his next novel. His first, and only so far, was such a phenomenal success that he’ll have to work extra hard to pull it off again. He hires a typist, Linda, because he believes he can get his work done faster if he doesn't have to worry about the physical labor of the creative process and just be all brilliant and angsty and shit.

What he doesn’t realize is that Linda is fucking crazy and has only taken the job so she can exact her revenge on Paul for a MAJOR wrong doing he’s committed against someone she loves. And anyone who gets in the way? She becomes like a human steam roller and crushes any obstacle.


April 14, 2017

The Scarlet Scorpion (1990) and Deadtime Stories (1986) Double Movie Review

Just when I thought I was making a dent in the pile of tripe. I mean…no, that’s what I mean. As I get closer to the bottom of the stack of DVDs, sometimes I get a double disc and dammit, that means I’m really not that much closer to getting through this craptastic supply!
But this time it’s okay because these were actually kinda fun, for the most part.

The Scarlet Scorpion comes to us from Brazil. It opens with what looks like those news reels that used to play in theaters back in the 40s and 50s. After a few stories, it closes with the announcement that the long loved The Angel comic has been adapted for radio! People across the country are shown stopping EVERYTHING they do just to listen in each week. And I mean everything - even a local priest refuses to continue an exorcism because he’s got more important stuff to do! Like find out in this week’s chapter of The Scarlet Scorpion what that rapscallion bad guy is up to and who he's trying to kill!

As the show airs each week, it seems in the real world someone is mimicking the crimes portrayed in the show. Is there a real Scarlet Scorpion running around? Gloria, a local designer, is the only one who seems to connect the dots. The police laugh her out of the station but the director of the show thinks she might be on to something. So let’s create a fan based program around her theories! We never actually get to hear it, though, because the Scarlet Scorpion is targeting her next.

Will he kill Gloria to get her off his trail? Will Alvaro Aguiar, writer and creator, be able to save his lady love on the show AND in real life? Stay tuned to find out. But first, a word from our sponsor…