So, when I heard there was a movie that brought David C.
Hayes out of (acting) retirement, you bet your SWEET ASS that I was going to
see it no matter the cost. Luckily for me, David is my friend, and he obviously
considers me the same because he brought me a copy of it, Blu Ray no less, when
it became available.
And just in time for Christmas, here is my review of the 2025 film, Camp Blood Christmas.
NOTE: I won’t be spoiling any plot points as this film LITERALLY just came out. People need to experience this film on their own terms.
The basic idea is this: a group of misfits answers a job ad for a new Santa Snow Camp, a winter excursion place for kids to enjoy winter and Santa Clause and all that crap. Aside from the delay of the food and supplies guy, Carl, everything seems to be going swimmingly. But then, Gary, the hired Santa Clause, shares the bloody massacre-prone history of the location of the new camp.
Turns out it was a regular camp at one time until there were a bunch murders committed by the Clown Killer.
Fun fact: the opening credits consist of snippets from many of the previous fourteen Camp Blood movies.
You heard me. FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN. (Depending on who you talk to, it could only be fourteen total films which means snippets from THIR-FUCKING-TEEN films fill the opening credits.)
Anyway, as you might imagine, the reason Carl never showed? Seems the Clown Killer has returned. But what you might not have imagined, is the reason WHY. Whoa, PLOT TWIST! But then you probably didn’t image ANOTHER twist on top of that. It’s like the villain neck-cracking the hero right before he can save the day!
Will anyone survive this rampage? Maybe.
Will this family camp every get off the ground? Probably
not.
Will we care?
Now, we all know how indie horror films usually go, don’t we? Low budget, lackluster acting, minimal continuity, terrible editing, bad sound, ridiculous plots and their giant holes, and so on and so forth. And, generally speaking, this is consistent with those issues – except sound. This is probably the first indie film I’ve watched where I didn’t need to keep adjusting the volume throughout the whole fucking thing because the dialogue was too quiet and the effects were too loud.
Good job, guys!
But yet, other than the great sound, this films lacks a lot. Character development is minimal because honestly, I really only cared about the hitch hiking, bearded, gummy dosing happy dude, Eddie (I think that’s him). Everyone else? Eh. A lot of the jokes fell flat; the dialogue felt stilted and unnatural; and way too much time was spent filming David’s butt crack.
HOWEVER…
Quite a few of the jokes landed perfectly. I personally loved the ditzy bombshell taking nudes of “down there” with her landline phone to send to her boyfriend. The story itself is pretty fun. While I will say some of the dialogue actually tells us what’s coming, the reveals and twists felt totally unexpected. The practical effects looked good (way to go, Emily Sammons, for the design on the severed penis). And it was easy to tell everyone who worked on the movie had good chemistry. They put in a lot of effort and while not perfect, it really shows their dedication.
Matt Dilts-Williams did a great job at writing a fun and entertaining story, as well as directing the cast and crew.
So if you’re interested in seeing what’s happening in the indie scene, and wouldn’t mind taking a chance on a humorous holiday horror – and David’s butt crack – get yourself a copy of Camp Blood Christmas. Don’t forget to hang around through the ending credits. That final song is pretty dang catchy.
And have a hell of a happy holiday season!
3 hatchets (out of 5)
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