Movie Review: The Dead Want Women (2012)

Directed by Charles Band

Starring Jessica Morris, Ariana Madix and Eric Roberts

Granted, I haven’t watched every Full Moon Features movie thats come out in the last decade or so, but the ones I have seen seem to follow the same basic recipe. Goofy story-line, bad acting, low-end effects and just enough tits and ass to keep you from walking out. Its not a gourmet recipe by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems to pay the bills for Charles Band & company, so who am I to argue with their culinary success? I’d call these films the grilled-cheese sandwiches of the horror movie world....easy to make, a bit bland and geared mainly towards the palates of horny 12 year old adolescents (like me).

Movie Review: Claustrofobia (2011)

Review: Claustrofobia (2011)

Directed by Bobby Boermans

Starring Dragan Bakema, Carolien Spoor and Thijs Romer

Here's a movie that surprised me quite a bit. The title and box cover led me to assume this was going to be yet another abduction/torture/revenge/wanna-be horror movie. Its not. Its actually a pretty decent little psychological thriller.

The film begins with a sequence showing a young girl and boy hopping a fence and sneaking into an abandoned morgue. Once inside the young girl tricks the boy into climbing into a cadaver locker with the promise of a kiss if he has the nerve to do it. Once inside, she locks the door and walks away, leaving the boy trapped.

Movie Review: Death and Cremation (2010)

Directed by Justin Steele

Starring Brad Dourif, Jeremy Sumpter and Scott Elrod

Death and Cremation is an odd but interesting movie about murder, sweet revenge against the bullies and douchebags of modern society, and the unusual friendship that develops between a high school outcast and a serial-killer mortician.

The story revolves around Jarod (Jeremy Sumpter), a kid who is picked on relentlessly at school. A pot-smoking slacker, his mother is fed up with him laying around the house and tells him its time to get a job. Not interested in getting a regular job, he runs across the local crematorium run by Stanley (Brad Dourif), a quite, strange little man who has absolutely no tolerance for bullies or assholes. And in fact relishes in the opportunity to run them over in his station wagon or smash their skulls in with a sledgehammer. Stan makes it clear that he is not interested in hiring a helper but when Jarod offers to work for free the first week, Stanley relents and decides to give the kid a chance. A friendship soon develops between these two kindred outcast spirits and it doesnt take long before Jarod starts to figure out that Stanley may be behind the disappearance of a local teenage girl. After being severely beaten by the missing girls boyfriend, Jarod shows up at Stanleys soon after, and they trade opinions on how bullies should be dealt with. Once Stanley realizes that Jarod shares his views on the subject, he asks him the name of the kid who beat him up. The following day, Stanley evens the score by kidnapping, killing and then of coarse cremating the bully, with the help of his eager new apprentice.

TV on Blu-ray Review: Hell on Wheels: Complete First Season (2011)

Since the advent of film and TV as a popular forms media, one of the most popular genres used as storylines for features, shorts and episodic television was the Western. In film early on you had John Ford (My Darling Clementine), later there was John Wayne's films captivating audiences and then of course the popularity of the gritty, more true-to-western-life classics from Sergio Leone(Fistful of Dollars and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly) and Sam Peckinpah (The Wild Bunch). Television took its cue from Hollywood by producing popular shows like Bonanza and The Lone Ranger. It wasn't until the mid 80's that film and TV fans seemed to just get bored of the genre.

Want A Blu-Ray Release Of "The Opening Of Misty Beethoven"?

Distribpix/435 Productions is hard at work on the 2-DVD Special Edition of "The Opening of Misty Beethoven" and aiming for a July release! But fans who wish they could be a part of bringing Misty to Blu-ray (or who would like to pick up the all-new poster, soundtrack or t-shirt to help fund the effort!) can head over to the "The Opening of Misty Beethoven Goes Blu-Ray" Kickstarter project starting today!

Get a sneak peek at the DVD's special features and take advantage of Kickstarter-exclusive pre-order bundles and discounts as we work to raise the funds needed for Blu-ray authoring, encoding, licensing and replication. If at the end of 21 days fans have pledged enough to make the Blu-ray possible, their credit cards will be charged, they'll get their cool discounted merchandise, and Misty will launch on Blu-ray as well as DVD. If not, no one pays a dime and the DVD release goes on as originally planned. It's win-win!

This is a community effort, so help us get the word out! Both the Blu-ray and the discounts ONLY happen if the project meets its funding goal! Like the project on Facebook, send links to friends, pitch it to friendly webmasters, and help Misty Go Blu!

HELP MISTY BEETHOVEN GO TO BLU RAY!

Movie Review: Playback (2012, Blu-ray)

Directed by Michael Nickles

Starring Christian Slater, Ambyr Childers and Toby Hemmingway

Nearly 20 years after a family is massacred in their home, a group of high school kids decide to do a class project based on the murders. In the process of uncovering information on the event they unwittingly release the evil spirit of the murderer who has been imprisoned in the video tapes of the crime. Once set loose, the spirit hops from teenager to teenager, with the help of hidden cameras in the girls locker room, and students bedrooms, leaving a trail of dead bodies in its quest to find one particular soul to take over. That soul belongs to Julian (Johnny Pacer) and as the movie progresses Julian discovers not only how the evil spirit is able to take over those who watch the images on film but also discovers his own disturbing link to the murders.

Movie Review: Deadly Weapons (1973)

by David Hayes

Please, help me. This is not for the squeamish, or the easily offended. Or for those of us who need dwarf-porn to be sickened, for that matter. This film stars the incomparable Chesty Morgan. That name, and that image, is burned into my mind forever. You see, Ms. Morgan's breasts are freakish fleshbags. She tops out at a 73 EEE, although the rest of her body is "normal." Normal meaning: very skinny legs, a lazy eye and bad dental work. As you might have surmised, being the bright, literate readers that you are, Chesty's boobs are the title characters. Before I relate to you the "story" of this "movie," lets look at Chesty. Imagine the cold, windswept hills of Poland. It is around 1943 and Hitler had devastated your community. But look, there… a child is born.

Buy Deadly Weapons on DVD

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #48 - Atomic Head Cheese

Jeff, Dave and Kevin talk live at Phoenix Comicon with Abnormal Entertainment brethren David and Tony Sabal from The Atomic Fallout Society.

The five-headed monster talks comic book movies, why The Dark Knight was overrated and and the majesty of the Kaiju film genre, as well as its television counterparts. All this while the two Daves try to wrangle a drunken Dolniak.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com.

Click on any of the links above to purchase at Amazon.com or click the link to our sponsors below and support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment!

Movie/Music Review: Fix: The Ministry Movie (2011, Gigantic Pictures)

Directed by Doug Freel

Starring Al Jourgensen, Paul Barker and Trent Reznor

Rising from obscurity in the 90‘s, a band with a unique sound emerged to inspire an entirely new genre in the rock/metal scene. The genre is known as Industrial and the band was called Ministry. Their music was a mirror reflection of their lifestyle, chaotic and intense.

What this documentary captures are the lifestyle, musings, fears and hopelessly flawed coping mechanisms of Al Jourgensen, the lead singer for Ministry. Trapped within the confines of rock super-stardom, record contracts and life on the road, his only escape is his drug use.

The Endangered Art of Makeup FX

EDMONTON — Perusing through her Facebook photo albums you will find a sequence of images of Charlen Middendorf slowly transforming into an animated skeleton. In the first photo she appears as herself with a cap over her head that gives her the appearance of having gone completely bald. The next shot shows Middendorf smiling a vivacious smile as a white base-coat and black shading around the eyes are added. The skeleton design comes full circle in the next few shots as cheek and jaw shading are added, and finally a gaunt mouth of teeth is painted on over her real lips. Voila! A living, breathing, bright blue-eyed skeleton stares back from the mirror as Middendorf congratulates her classmate on her work.
Middendorf’s portfolio features photos of herself, friends and former classmates made over as grotesque ghouls, macabre monsters and trauma victims with facial wounds so realistic that you would think they were severely assaulted.

Rest assured, these outlandish beings are make-believe; they are the products of several tedious hours of makeup, prosthetics and faux flesh application, just as Middendorf was while sitting in as the guinea pig for her fellow classmate’s skeleton face design. These are the creations of a skilled makeup effects artist — a profession that is slowly becoming endangered in the realm of motion picture arts.

Movie Review: Premutos (1999)

Directed by Olaf Ittenbach

Starring Fidelis Atuma, Heiko Bender and Anke Fabre

Watching Olaf Ittenbach's Premutos was like taking a trip back to my childhood in many ways. Aside from the retro look and feel of it, I would compare it to walking down the aisles of a Toys R Us store as a 7 year old kid and getting sensory-overload from the sheer awesomeness of what I was immersed in. Only instead of shiny toys I was completely bombarded by shocking visual images and blood-soaked old school special effects. Premutos is a movie that reminds me exactly why I've had a love affair with horror movies for most of my life.

Movie Review: New York Grindhouse Avon 7 Triple Feature: Slave Of Pleasure/ My Mistress Elektra/ Prisoner Of Pleasure

To me, it really comes as no surprise when watching vintage porn, New York's Time Square was undoubtedly the Mecca of smut during the 80's. The filth historians at After Hours Cinema have been taking full advantage of the Big Apple's sleaze havens by releasing numerous film compilations highlighting 42nd Street's best. Here the famous (and infamous) Avon 7 Theater is given center stage along with porn pioneer Shaun Costello (Forced Entry, More Than Sisters, Pandora's Mirror). This particular smut palace was widely known for showing some of the nastier, cheaper, S&M themed adult cinema on the Deuce. The Avon Theater managed to become popular among many perverts - even for showing this niche brand of BDSM porn . Three films are featured here, all directed by Shaun Costello : Slave of Pleasure, My Mistress Electra and Prisoner of Pleasure.

CD Reviews: Old School Comedy Classics (2012)

As a fan of stand-up comedy, it always excites me to go back in time to old albums from the comedians I know, and it's great to go back and discover comedians I've missed. Cult Collectibles and MVD Audio have come together to re-release three classic comedy albums in their entirety, and they do a fantastic job. I don't usually review the material of a comedian, but in this case, I'll do it. You'll see why as you read on, but I think it's worthwhile with these classic albums.

Redd Foxx - I Ain't Lied Yet

We all know Foxx as the loveable jerk Fred Sanford, but I'll bet most people under forty have heard very little of his stand-up if any. I've heard some of his work prior to this, like You Gotta Wash Your Ass. It was much dirtier than I Ain't Lied Yet, which is dirty, but in a very subtle way. Foxx tells jokes more than anything, and I mean jokes you can read in a joke book. I don't know if he was just telling old jokes that he knew or if he wrote them and they've carried on through the years. Either way, his delivery is beautiful, and I laughed hard while listening to the album.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! Phoenix Comicon Preview

Kevin gives a quick preview of this weekend's Phoenix Comicon and all of the Abnormal Entertainment and Cinema Head Cheese events.

Please come out and join us on Friday at 5pm for our panel, live podcasts and live commentary for Scream Bloody Murder, plus, we're hosting the screening of Bloody Bloody Bible Camp right after that. We promise good times. Also, if you're there for preview night on Thursday, check out our own David Hayes starring in A Man Called Nereus. Ticket and event information can be found at phoenixcomicon.com.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com.

Click on any of the links above to purchase at Amazon.com or click the link to our sponsors below and support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment!



Use the coupon code CHEESE at checkout to get this great deal!

Movie Review: Ralphie May: Too Big to Ignore

I'm not always a fan of reviewing stand-up comedy. I love the medium so much, and it's hard for me to judge a comedian who is as successful as Ralphie May. Most people got to know him from Last Comic Standing, and his career has been growing ever since. While he's not on my list of stand-up favorites, I do always enjoy hearing him on podcasts or radio shows. Because of that, I've seen every one of his specials. Too Big to Ignore is definitely a little different from the others.

Buy Ralphie May: Too Big to Ignore at Amazon.com

Movie Review: Death Warmed Up (1984)

Directed by David Blyth

Starring Michael Hurst, Margaret Umbers and William Upjohn

As the film opens, an obviously mad-scientist, Dr. Howell (Gary Day) is having a hard time convincing his supervisor of the validity of his work. He is attempting to cheat death via secret serum injections and brain implants.

Fearing his supervisor will shut down his program, the mad doctor kidnaps the mans teenage son Michael (Michael Hurst) and brain-wash's him (via an injection to the ass cheek in an uncomfortably homo-erotic shower scene). Under the influence of the drug, the young boy kills both of his parents with a shotgun and ends up in a mental asylum.

Movie Review: Debauchery (1983)

Directed by Hidehiro Ito

Starring Mizuho Nakagawa, Shinsho Nakamaru and Tatsuyo Nanjo

This early 80's Japanese soft-core porn sat unreleased on dvd for decades. Fans of this genre have waited patiently, and now Impulse Pictures, with its acquisition of the Nikkatsu Collection, has brought it out of mothballs, spruced it up (just a little) and is now re-pimping these retro BDSM soft-core gems from The Far East for our viewing pleasure here in The West. Break out your popcorn and paper towels kids, Debauchery is finally here!

Ami, (Ryoko Watanabe) is a frustrated housewife with a loving and caring husband who wants nothing but the best for her. Unfortunately for him though, a loving husband is not what his wife craves. Bored with the routine sex she is getting at home, Ami plunges herself into the decadence of the Tokyo underground sex scene. She applies for and gets a job as a prostitute working for the elite Madame Machiko Society Club. Here she experiments with discrete (and ultimately not-so-discrete) sex games and discovers she enjoys the thrill of sex and humiliation at the hands of anonymous men. The sexual perversions she allows herself to be subjected to become more and more sick and depraved with each client. Bondage, whips and beads are just the beginning as she is completely consumed by the new secret life she has chosen. As the danger level rises, it becomes apparent that not only is she putting her reputation and marriage on the line, but her very life as well.

Buy Debauchery at Amazon.com

Movie Review: Cosmic Monsters (1958)

Director: Gilbert Gunn
Stars: Forrest Tucker and Gaby André

I think my favourite hobby is listening to Robert Osborne introduce monster movies on TCM. It may be that he secretly loves the things but I don't think so. I think he feels embarrassed every time they come up, but he's a professional and he does his job well with just a hint of a smile at the realisation of what sort of material he's introducing. Then again this one begins as a pretty intelligent monster movie as such things go, made in the UK by Anglo-Scottish Pictures, sourced from a story by René Ray. Sure, the introduction is more than a little melodramatic ('Man goes forward into the unknown but how does the unknown react?'), but it settles down quickly into a thoughtful movie. It's actually hilarious to hear such rationality about science juxtaposed with a rampant sexism. 'A woman?' cries Dr Laird when he's told that his new computer operator is a member of the fairer sex. 'This is preposterous! This is highly skilled work!'

Buy Cosmic Monsters [VHS]

Movie Review: The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

There's been much talk over the past six months on how the horror anthology has made its triumphant return.  The 70’s and 80’s, for me, had some of my favorites: Vault of Horror, Tales From the Crypt, Trilogy of Terror, Creepshow and From a Whisper to a Scream were all titles that I enjoyed viewing. When approached correctly, the anthology film can be like a tremendous food sampler at your favorite hole-in the- wall-bar; when it isn’t, it’s a shitty appetizer dish at Applebee’s.

David Gregory of Severin films is an obvious admirer of the format. So much so he brought together the talents of six fine genre film directors: Karim Hussain (Subconscious Cruelty), Douglas Buck (Cutting Moments) , Buddy Giovinazzo (Combat Shock), Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead), Richard Stanley (Hardware) and Jeremy Kasten. Gregory even contributes his own entry to this strong group.

Movie Review: House of Flesh Mannequins (2009)

Directed by Domiziano Cristopharo

Starring Domiziano Cristopharo, Irena Hoffman and Giovanni Lombardo Radice

It really is hard for me to sum up a movie that tries to be 5 different styles of film at the same time. It wants desperately to be an art-house movie, filled with bizarre images and undecipherable symbolism. It all too often wants to be a porn movie, indulging in acts of masturbation, penetration, oral sex and tons of nudity, (think naked masturbating clowns ejaculating on themselves and sex scenes involving blow-up dolls). There are times it wants to be a love story, a horror movie and ultimately a snuff film.

Buy House of Flesh Mannequins at Amazon.com

Now, you would think with all that juicy subject matter this flick would be over-the-top awesome, right? Well, the answer is yes(at times).....and no (most of the time). I walked away with a feeling that the makers of this film probably started out with a list of shocking images they wanted to convey and then as an afterthought tried to create some sort of story-line in an attempt to tie it all together.