Many of us know Maria Bamford for her stand-up comedy. Others may know her from her short stint in the first Netflix season of Arrested Development. What many don't know, unless you've heard her in some recent podcast interviews, is that she has spent most of her life dealing with mental health issues. While many thought Lady Dynamite was an Arrested Development spinoff, likely due to the Mitchell Hurwitz connection, it serves as a touching and hilarious autobiography.
Maria plays herself in different time periods throughout her own life. We see the past, present and scenes from time spent getting care in Duluth. She is surrounded by odd family members and friends played by Mo Collins, Ana Gasteyer, Ed Begley, Jr., Bridget Everett, Dean Cain and more. One of the more interesting storytelling methods is having Comedians of Comedy partners Brian Posehn and Patton Oswalt break character to make sure Bamford doesn't replicate other shows led by comedians.
It's strange to think of a pimp as a hero, but in 1975, Rudy Ray Moore did that with a character he created in his stand-up act. He made Dolemite a man of the people. Not only was he popular with those in his neighborhood, but the head of the prison where he was locked up trusted him enough to set him free so that he could take down a vicious rival. It's funny, but if Dolemite was made today, it could be done as a serious action film. Instead, we get legendary Blaxploitation gold.
Dolemite was one of the classics on my must-see list. It's up there in cult status with films like Shaft or Cannibal Holocaust. It has a loose story line, and it serves as more of a showcase for Moore's style of comedy. The basic premise is that one of Dolemite's ladies, Queen Bee, convinces the warden that he was framed in order to get him out of jail. The warden lets him loose knowing that only Dolemite can prove his own innocence. A rival named Willie Green (played by D'Urville Martin, who also directs), with the help of some crooked cops, had planted drugs and stolen furs in Dolemite's car. This got Dolemite out of the way with a twenty year prison sentence. As soon as Willie finds out he's back in action, he's chased by the same cast of criminals that put him away. It's a good thing his ladies have all been trained in kung fu.
After taking lovely Jerusha Bromley (the always radiant Julie Andrews, fresh from her success in Walt Disney's Mary Poppins that very year) in wedlock, stern, despicable missionary Abner Hale (Max von Sydow) sails the sea from 18th Century New England with other like-minded zealots to convert the heathens in Hawaii. After a perilous journey across the sea, they reach the lovely coastal outpost of Lahaina and are introduced to bounteous Queen Malama (Jocelyn LaGarde, in a singular performance that won an Academy Award nomination). There is the expected cultural clashes – all those beautiful native lovelies walking around topless, shocking for 1966, and the fact that the queen is married to her brother in order to protect the royal lineage! Hale does his collective worst to cram Northern European morals down the native's throats to limited to success, and scenes of broad violence and tragedy ensue. Hale does learn his lesson, alas, a little bit too late.
Who wants to watch a movie with fresh ideas, great acting, superb execution, and that overall goosebumps inducing emotion that leaves you physically drained, but in a good way, after watching it?
Not this bitch. Originality is for suckers.
Betrothed is a useless slice of celluloid brought to us by Red Cardinal Films. It’s like a used mattress - functionally, it might still be useable but not really worth the risk of bed bugs, possible mold, and the touch of hidden stains that only show up in black light.
Mamma and her two boys, Nate and Adam, kidnap young pretty gals to be the brides of the sons. Because what doesn’t scream romance and marriage longevity like a chloroform soaked rag to the face? As they live out in the desert, about 100 miles from town, they can get away with this for as long as they want. Which works out because the ladies they choose end up dead sooner rather than later (for various reasons - don’t bear kids, are dirty whores, too flippant, etc.)
Following a parole hearing that resembles a bar fight, it is determined that Luther Watts (Edward Terry), in spite of his previous convictions of murdering three people by tearing out their throats with his metal dentures is now a proper fit for society. Goggle-eyed, clucking Luther is free for a couple hours in rural Illinois before he thoroughly annoys some people at a supermarket and tears out the throat of a little old lady at a bus stop. Luther then covertly follows housewife Hilary (Joan Roth) to her isolated rural farmhouse and after some cat-and-mouse games, ties her to the bed. Hilary's daughter Beth (Stacy Haiduk) and her loutish boyfriend Rob (Thomas Mills) arrive at the farmhouse, and despite her mother's absence and clear evidence forced entry, engage in some hanky-panky. Luther leaps out and engages the characters in numerous chases. A youthful sheriff's deputy (J. Joseph Clarke) appears on the scene, but he's of little help. Blood sprays here and there before a bleakly comic conclusion.
While I await my next CHC box of tripe…I mean, care package, Jeff was kind enough to send me a few on-line screeners to occupy my time. I wish I had been able to watch this one before the Motor City Nightmares convention because I would have been able to talk to Costas Mandylor about his role.
Or, you know, just stand in front of him giggling like a 13 year old virgin.
313 Films offers us The Horde, a happy little film about a horde (duh) of mutant cannibals being bossed around by a trio of psychopathic escaped convicts, led by Cylas (Mandylor). They attack people who decide to camp out in ‘their’ woods and the current targets are a class of photography students (their names aren’t important), their teacher, Selina, and her ex-Navy Seal fiancé, John.
The boys are taken as ‘meat’ and the girls, as they are ‘breeders’, get the privilege of NOT being sent to the butcher but instead nailed down or chained up to be available for nookies with the inbred mutated members of this group. Too bad nobody could kill John because he rides in to the rescue and pretty much kicks everyone's ass.
Bill Whitney (played by TV regular Billy Warlock) is almost too cool for school. He has a rich, Beverly Hills family, born into a life of privilege and is popular and well-liked at school. Luckily for viewers – as otherwise there would be no story to hang all the perversity on – things are not quite right at home. Eschewing drugs, he walks in on his sister Jenny (Patrice Jennings) showering, and it appears her body is contorted through the frosted glass mirror. When one of Jenny’s ex-boyfriends (Tim Bartell) presents Bill with a clandestine tape, things go from bad to worse. The recording appears to be of his parents encouraging his sister to engage in a perverse orgy, advising her to “shunt,” a word which takes a horrific meaning later on.
Bill’s friends begin to die in mysterious ways, and lots of images foreshadow what’s to come later on – a rival plants an inflatable love doll in his jeep with a doll sticking out of its mouth, and Bill is doused with suntan lotion.
Everyone knows by now – save the people who caught the climactic 20 minutes while channel surfing, which doubtlessly stopped them dead in their tracks, that Bill’s family turns out to be a race of super beings who gather with other like-minded beings for an viscous orgy called “the Shunt.” The Whitneys and their other too-rich and too-thin friends meld bodies, twist into bits of latex and gobble up the less fortunate at their slimy soirees.
I am not a Tinto Brass
fan, but I always wanted to add this film of his in my collection. The problem
was the shit quality and cut editions of it floating in the market. That was
until the 4-DVD Imperial Edition (Region 2 - PAL) came out and I bought it
immediately.
The first
disc offers the uncut version which I saw when I bought the box-set; the second
disc contains an alternative version which I haven’t seen as yet, the third
disc offers the theatrical version which is the one I watched for the purpose
of this review, and the fourth disc is full of extras.
Now, on with
the theatrical version... It doesn’t contain all the excessive violence and the
explicit sex, and with so many scenes missing the whole thing doesn’t make as
much sense as the uncut version does. Anyway, the whole thing about the history
behind the cuts of this troubled production has been studied extensively
elsewhere, so here I would like to focus on the impression the film made to me.
Stephen King is no stranger to having his books turned into miniseries. Some, like It, are considered classics. Others, like The Langoliers or the 1970s version of Salem's Lot, are kind of cheesy or even plain terrible. Still more, like the Steven Weber led The Shining, which is superior to the Kubrick film (Not sorry. That movie is awful and dull.), will never get their proper due. To me, most of King's works are told best in long form. It gives them room to breathe. This doesn't take away from the amazing features made from his books, but sometimes miniseries is bettah. See what I did there? I'm hilarious.
This is the case with 11.22.63. My wife and I just called it the Franco show, because while the numbers make the title look short, Eleven Twenty-two Sixty-three is a mouthful. The story is interesting. What if you could stop the Kennedy assassination? That's the task diner owner Al (Chris Cooper) gives to his friend Jake (James Franco). Al has tried many times, but every time he gets close, something goes wrong. Now he's at the end of a losing battle with cancer, and he's passing the torch. A portal exists in the back of his diner, and when you walk through it, you're in the same spot exactly three years before the assassination. Whatever you do in the past becomes part of the timeline when you come back, but if you pass through the portal again, time resets. This comes in handy if you screw up.
In Victorian, fog-shrouded London, the engagement party of Dr. Henry Jekyll (Udo Kier) and Fanny Osbourne (Marina Pierro) is underway at a stately manse. Among their many guests are bellicose general (Patrick Magee, the only actor who has to retain his authentic voice for the English language version of the film) (Jesus Franco go-to lead Howard Vernon). Something is not right – an innocent young girl has been beaten to within an inch of her life nearby and a deadly figure begins to stalk the home, murdering and raping the guests. It’s Jekyll's alter ego Edward Hyde (Gérard Zalcberg), transformed after a chemical dip in amber liquid in the bathtub. Fanny is first horrified – but then insists that what is good for the gander is good for the goose and takes a similar dip. Unleashing both their primal, animalistic sides, Fanny and Hyde decimate the remaining guests and set the house ablaze.
The above story is very tragic – but as this supplement-heavy Btu-Ray from Arrow Video (comparable Criterion Collection releases pale in comparison) attests to, the real tragedy was the fact that Walerian Borowczyk was a serious, artistic filmmaker who was pressed out of economic necessity to helm soft and hardcore pornography along with B-grade horror.
Directed by Lawrence Schiller, L. M. Kit Carson Movie Review by Greg Goodsell Just before the disastrous premiere of Dennis Hopper's The Last Movie (1971), compatriots Lawrence Schiller and L. M. Kit Carson hung out at Dennis Hopper's hippie compound in Taos, New Mexico to document what the countercultural phenomenon – ever since his breakthrough feature Easy Rider (1969) that was then – Dennis Hopper. Those expecting a spokesman for a new generation were probably soundly disappointed. Like his contemporary William S. Burroughs, Hopper was an unabashed fan of the Second Amendment (“I think that, in our lifetime, a man without a gun is a fool.”). Even worse, his view on the fairer sex was strictly in line with Hugh Hefner's, if not belonging to the 18th Century's. Women were strictly a commodity to Hopper at that time and were intended to be exploited. A crisis arises after dicking around, sitting around talking about approaches to life and art, the filmmakers become acutely aware that the project at hand has no commercial potential and Hopper remedies this by recruiting some hippie bimbos from a nearby airport and fills the camera's lens with POOOOOO – SAAAAAAY. It all falls apart – as was Hopper's career following the debacle that was The Last Movie. The American Dreamer only makes sense when set against the trajectory of Hopper's progression as a screen star. Cutting his teeth on low-budget exploitation movies with roles in Night Tide (1963) and Queen of Blood (1967), both directed by his friend Curtis Harrington, Hopper made it big with Easy Rider (1969), a rambling free-form road picture about two hippie bikers' cross-country trek across America. Easy Rider was a smash hit for near bankrupt Paramount Pictures, inspiring other filmmakers to cash in on this “hippie thing.” Giving one of the masterminds of this Cinematic Youthquake unlimited reign, Hopper would sort-of direct and sort-of complete The Last Movie, about an American film crew's negative influence on a Peruvian tribe. Starring Julie Adams from The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1956), Adams pops up in the film to assure the viewers that Hopper's heart was in the right place.
I’m not sure I can come up with an intro for this review. The premise of this film is just so…beyond ridiculous. I mean, I know it’s from the 80s and cocaine was the driving force of the time, which should explain everything, but I just can’t even.
Frightmare begins with Conrad Radzoff, a big name old movie star who has been relegated to the kiddie table of the acting community - television commercials. The director is sick of Conrad’s fuck ups and berates the legend in front of everyone. Luckily Conrad knows how to handle such situations with grace and dignity - he pushes the director off a balcony to his death.
Like you do.
While the rest of the world may not remember how important he is, never fear. The Horror Society of a local college invites him to a presentation honoring him and his life’s work. This is exactly what Conrad’s ego needs and HOLY FUCK IS THAT JEFFREY COMBS AS ONE OF THE STUDENTS?? Yaaaaasssssss!
Directed by Richard Brooks Movie Review by Greg Goodsell Mary Wilson (Director Brooks' real-life wife Jean Simmons) is like so many other women in 1969 America. Married to a cheerful workaholic husband (John Forsyth) – not above mixing business with pleasure that his high-profile job brings – Wilson plunges into what diversions her suburban lifestyle can afford. Face lifts, health clubs where the gals can relax with a stiff cocktail in the back, shopping, pills (as supplied by her enabling maid, Nanette Fabray), diets … it all collides into alcoholism and drunk driving charges. Feeling stifled, she jets off to the Bahamas where she runs into her old school friend Flo (Shirley Jones), now a “professional mistress.” While soaking up the rays, she has a fling with greasy hustler Bobby Darrin, before returning home where she negotiates a not-so traditional “happy ending.” As the ubiquitous Julie Kirgo notes in her liner notes for this Twilight Time Blu-Ray release, limited to 3,000 copies, The Happy Ending was a deeply personal project for director Brooks and wife Simmons. It was during this time, married to the difficult and much-married Brooks that Simmons admitted to a real-life problem with alcohol. A professional actor at the age of 14, her performance in this film was something of a valedictory statement for Simmons, who at the time was not yet 40 years of age. Bravely, Brooks and Simmons made sure that those who came to the film expecting an escapist, sudsy soap opera were given front row center to the gravity of the situation. During an unsuccessful suicide attempt, Simmons is taken to the hospital and graphically has her stomach pumped as hard-as-nails doctors and nurses brush her aside as “just one of those” housewives. Plowing into a police car after having one too many at an anonymous dive bar, Simmons is then forced to endure a humiliating session with detectives who threaten to film her “walk the line” attempts in court.
Directed by John Houston Movie Review by Greg Goodsell In dusty, dreary Stockton, California – a blue collar 'burg where the main activity is trying to find a way out, Billy (Stacy Keach) is a former boxer, 30 years old and going on 50. Reigniting his passion to return to the ring, he meets up with a fresh-faced teen boxer Ernie (Jeff Bridges) while training . Becoming fast friends, things are looking up for awhile. Bridges marries his sweet-faced girlfriend Faye (Candy Clarke) and starts his family, while Keach falls in love with the blowsy alcoholic barfly Oma (the incredible Susan Tyrrell, nominated for Best Supporting Actress), on the rebound after her African American boyfriend (Curtis Coates) winds up cooling his jets in jail. Both Keach and Bridges are lined up for a semi-professional boxing bout – but quickly learn that victory in the ring doesn't necessarily translate to other areas. It was with some trepidation that I saw that John Houston's classic Fat City slipped out of the envelope for me to review … but we'll get to that in a moment. As film scholars point out, Houston was fascinated with characters operating on the fringes of society and with the concept of failure. Photographed by the great Conrad Hall (The Day of the Locust, 1975), Fat City – a term used to describe a big payday after a long dry spell, plunges the audience into what is a seemingly hopeless world. But as Keach explains in a drunken haze towards the end of the film, “Before you can get rolling, your life makes a beeline to the drain.” The people who populate Fat City are in desperate straits, but yet find a reason to wake up in the morning to greet the day.
The premise of this film sounded a lot like that stinker I reviewed a month or so ago - Escape from the Bronx. And what’s this? The same guys who wrote that wrote this? Which is also a dystopian future? And bad guys are running around killing people? And it’s filled with Italian actors and terribleness?
Way to raise the bar for yourselves, guys.
The New Barbarians (as opposed to the old kind?) takes place in 2019. A nuclear war has decimated the country and the population. Small bands of people try to survive on what they can scrounge in this wasteland while searching for signs that civilization still exists elsewhere via large and over-complicated ham radios.
Cue The Templars, a group of thieving Mad Max wannabes in Xanadu costumes. They believe the world is dead and any survivors they find deserve to die. You know, after taking all their shit. And they don’t just kill people. They have dirt bikes and sand rails equipped with bazookas, flamethrowers, and rotating blades! They will purify the world with blood! Just not their own…
We then meet Scorpion, a former Templar, now loner bad-ass. When he saves Alma, she of the thigh high boots and no pants (because Future Fashion sense) from a Templar attack, word gets back to their leader, One, who wants to take some serious revenge out on Scorpion’s hide. Alma just wants to give him her goodies in his light up inflatable bouncy house (aka tent).
The eight film from Quentin Tarantino brings yet another all-star cast filled with incredible
performances. Along with great dialogue, the violence was definitely not lacking. I was originally going to see this movie as part of the 70mm Road Show. There were about 100 movie theaters across the United States that were showing The Hateful Eight on actual film as opposed to the digital projectors. I was excited to enjoy the viewing experience but the cost was double what I ended up paying a week later to watch it digitally. The film is still beautiful, and I had a great time.
The Hateful Eight takes place in the state of Wyoming where a blizzard is sweeping through. Throughout the movie, you find yourself trying to figure out who the bad guy, or perhaps bad guys, are. This proves difficult as all of the characters are more sinners than they are saints.
Kurt Russell is the bounty hunter John Ruth and he aims to collect when he delivers Daisy Domergue who is played amazingly by Jennifer Jason Leigh. With their stagecoach driver O.B.(James Parks) hey cross paths with Samuel Jackson who played the part of Major Marquis Warren and later run into Walton Goggins' character, Chris Mannix. These four characters have reputations that proceed them, so everyone has an idea of who they're dealing with and it's explained why everyone is on edge.
“Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.”
It has been years since I’ve watched this movie. And, if memory serves, it’s a fantastic thriller filled with tons of acting talent. Let’s see if it still holds true nearly 30 years later.
Released in October, 2015 by Twilight Time, Black Widow stars Catherine (Theresa Russell), a gorgeous sociopath who marries rich men then murders them for the inheritance. As she flits from man to man across the country, changing her name, appearance, accent, and general demeanor to fit each new conquest, Alexandra (Debra Winger), a federal investigator, has been studying the ‘natural’ deaths of all these different men and has discovered a connection - they married the same woman.
But how can Alex stop her when the local police don’t believe her theory, her own boss thinks she needs to go on more dates instead of working so hard, and the relatives of the dead men don’t want to pursue it because they think it’s all poppycock?
She tracks down Catherine herself, insinuates herself into Catherine’s life to get close, and hopefully can end the murderess’ life of crime before another innocent man ends up dead. The only problem - Catherine is highly intelligent and organized so Alex has to stay on her toes to not end up on the wrong end of Catherine’s rage.
I invented Resting Bitch Face. Don't waste my time.
Yes, this movie is just as awesome as it was back in the 80s. Don’t pay attention to the shitty fashion or the old fashioned misogyny from which most of the male characters suffer (a WOMAN can’t be a serial killer - that’s unheard of!). The base story, the actual tale of murder, cat and mouse, good vs. evil, could take place anytime or anywhere.
Theresa Russell is so good in this role. She plays the loving wife beautifully all while she’s injecting poison into a bottle of champagne or mixing drugs into toothpaste. I love the character of Catherine for her smarts. When she finds a target, she researches the SHIT out of everything that can give her a connection in real life. She becomes each man’s idea of the perfect woman. She’s like a sociopathic chameleon. It’s brilliant. And when you see Alex is catching up to her or Catherine feels cornered in any way, the anger and hatred boiling just below the skin erupts for a moment and we see her for who she truly is.
Debra Winger….what can I say? I LOVE HER. I’ve loved her in everything I’ve ever seen (from Urban Cowboy to Terms of Endearment to Leap of Faith). Her character is strong and smart, two abilities that piss off the male-centric world of the FBI, and the police, and basically all other aspects of life. But her willingness to put herself in danger to stop a killer speaks volumes of her capabilities as a government agent and a human being.
You mad, bro?
Did I say I just love her? Because I do.
And let’s not forget to mention all the other acting talent in this flick: Terry O’Quinn, Dennis Hopper, Diane Ladd, Nicol Williamson, James Hong…just to name a few. Go to IMDB to look up the rest of the cast. Really, it’s amazing!
I think every character is believable, even if a few are convenient. But everyone fits in the entire puzzle of the story. You remove one and the cohesion crumbles.
The direction, editing, sound, and music flowed perfectly well. The writing is great - the story is an awesome thrill ride. The fact that the two main characters are women and the men around them are at their mercy (either in smarts or, literally, their lives) spoke volumes at a time when women were just beginning to be seen as capable of living well without the aid of a husband or father. I don’t want to get all soap boxy here but you can see my point, yes?
Great story, great acting and characters, great film. Stands the test of time and I imagine I’ll still enjoy it in another 30 years.
Zach Snyder directs his second film for the DC movie universe, bringing his particular style of directing with him. Whether you like that type of thing is entirely up to you.
Batman V Superman gave us the fight we were anticipating and also introduced the audience to some new characters. The pacing of this movie was pretty slow going early on with an artsy dream sequence explaining Batman's(Ben Affleck) origin. Much of Batman's view of the world and Superman(Henry Cavill) being in it is fueled heavily on his delusional dreams(of which he has plenty). I had a hard time figuring out if Bruce's butler/assistant in the Bat-Cave, Alfred(Jeremy Irons) is the voice of reason or someone feeding into Bruce Wayne's fears. Bruce Wayne is Batman for you non-superhero loving folks.
The world is starting to fear Superman and he's being framed for violence across the world. The framing of the Man of Steel seemed a bit of a stretch but you got to do something to get this movie going. With all this fear, Lex Luthor(Jesse Eisenberg) is on the hunt for Kryptonite after discovering how it affects the other Krytponian, the now deceased Zod.
Over here at the Cinema Head Cheese offices we are concerned with the decay of the horror film industry. Every day in this country, a child is born that will never know the true terror of Nosferatu or feel the creepy crawlies from Dr. Caligari... the very beginnings of our industry. The farther we get away from our roots, our history, the better off the world will be (at least our world). So, as a public service, our resident horror film historian and researcher, David C. Hayes, will be posting the films that influenced the men and women that influenced the men and women that influenced us as culled from across the internet. These films can be obscure but they are important for, without them, there would be no now... no us... no horror industry.
Let us begin with what many people believe is the first werewolf film (or, more appropriately, lycanthrope film). 1925's Wolf Blood tells the morbid tale of a logging camp foreman that, after an 'injury' is transfused with the blood of a wolf. This, of course, makes him believe that he is turning into a wolf. The film is directed by and starring George Chesboro (who went on to co-star in the 1950s Lone Ranger series as Doc). The script was written based off of a story by Bennett Cohen (who began his screenwriting career in 1915 and finished in 1953) and Cliff Hill.
Based on the true story…ugh, I hate that phrase. HOWEVER, after doing a little research on Fritz Haarmann, I have to say this movie depicts many truths of his life. Though he originally committed his crimes before and after WWI, this flick moved the timeline up to just after WWII because of Nazis or something.
I don’t know.
Tenderness of the Wolves is a German film from 1973, written by and starring Kurt Raab in the title role. Fritz Haarmann is a well known criminal in the police community. Things like sex offenses, theft, fraud, assault, seduction of minors, homosexuality (which was a crime in Germany until 1994) all kept him on der kommisar’s radar for years. But since the country was in such a rough state after the war, the polizei need all the help they can get and hire Fritz to be a narc.
This actually works out for Fritz very well because by informing on OTHER people, he keeps the police attentions off his own crimes of theft, fraud, and murder. Fritz likes to lure young boys and men back to his apartment, ply them with food and drink, then BITE OUT THEIR FUCKING THROATS IN THE THROES OF PASSION AND ECSTASY. Afterward he chopped them up and either tossed their remains in a local river or sold the flesh as pork or horse meat to his friends.
Many of us know Maria Bamford for her stand-up comedy. Others may know her from her short stint in the first Netflix season of Arrested Development. What many don't know, unless you've heard her in some recent podcast interviews, is that she has spent most of her life dealing with mental health issues. While many thought Lady Dynamite was an Arrested Development spinoff, likely due to the Mitchell Hurwitz connection, it serves as a touching and hilarious autobiography.
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