The Divine Fury (2019) Movie Review

I actually didn’t plan to write up a review on this film. I wanted to spend the evening watching a Korean horror movie and just enjoy it. WELL…it’s the next day and I’m still thinking about how much I liked the film, despite its few flaws, and wanted to share, okay? STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!

Anyway…

Since this film just came out a couple of years ago, I will do my best to remain spoiler free. I don’t promise shit, but I’ll try.

The Divine Fury is, at its core, a movie about faith. It’s dressed up with MMA fighting and bare chested healthy young men (*ROWR*), kick ass fight scenes, cool special effects, and a kicking soundtrack. But if you take all that away, it’s about faith. And I think I can even stretch that to say it doesn’t necessarily have to be about faith in one God. It could apply to faith in anything or anyone.

Let me break it down a bit more.

Yong-hu has grown up (movie starts off with him around 10 years old perhaps?) without a mom. She died during childbirth. He and his dad, a local police officer, live out their days as happily as they can. Right off the bat, the issue of faith in God and the power of prayer is established in Yong-hu. He doesn’t understand that even though his dad prayed really hard, Yong-hu’s mom still died. And after his father is severely injured in a hit and run, the local priest tells Yong-hu that if he prays really hard, God will save his dad.

Well, what do you suppose happens?

From that moment on, Yong-hu has no faith, doesn’t believe in God, and every time he sees a cross or some kind of Christian religious symbolism, he flies into a rage. 20 years later that helps with his MMA career, but his soul? Not so much. By holding on to that hatred and anger, he allows demons to surround him at all times. The voice in his head, that he thinks is just his own, is the manipulation demons uses against him.

After suffering from nightmares, Yong-hu develops a stigmata in his right palm. Not sure what to do, his driver suggests a legit shaman – the driver’s niece. She tells Yong-hu he needs to go find a priest at a church not far from his home and he’ll help.

Yong-hu finds the priest during a hella exorcism and ends up helping the older priest on his missions. During all of these, we learn of the Black Bishop, someone who uses religious rights to summon demons. This BB is in town and he’s wreaking havoc. They need to stop him PDQ.

Evil never looked so sexy...

In his journey helping Father Ahn exorcise demons, Yong-hu realizes that his father’s ring, and the energy his father passed along before he crossed over to Heaven, gave Yong-hu some powerful blood that can dispel demons. Handy that he’s got stigmata, amirite? His blood and a little douse of Holy Water sets those demons aflame and back to Hell. So Yong-hu ends up battling the Black Bishop, saving everyone in town from the powers of evil.

 

Now, full disclosure for anyone new, I have a bias toward South Korean television and movies. I’m addicted to K-dramas, to put it bluntly, and Korea does a great job with horror films. So I probably liked this movie more than a ‘normal’ person would. There are flaws here, for sure, but for the most part I could overlook them because I enjoyed so many other aspects of the film.

For the bad: this movie is 2 hours and 15 minutes. No movie needs to be that long, seriously. Not just for the short attention span folks of my generation (I blame MTV) but also just the comfort level. I can’t imagine watching this in a theater. Even from my cozy couch, my back got stiff and I fidgeted a lot to remain comfortable. We didn’t need four to five examples of how the bad guy gets what he wants from the main demon. That was established with two. Didn’t need three to four exorcisms with Father Ahn to understand how taxing and difficult they are. Not exactly sure how the awkward fan interactions with Yong-hu progressed the story in any way (spoiler: they didn’t).

Bitch, I look good.

The CGI was a mixed bag. I always appreciate practical effects when they can be utilized, but I do understand some stuff just has to be done by computer. Unfortunately, some of it was not the highest quality and came off as cartoonish. But some was really cool and certainly enhanced the story. As for the story, most of it is well written and developed. Though there are quite a few trite and cliché moments throughout the film, you quickly forget about them as the action picks up or the character development progresses.

Mostly those were my issues. The story, cinematography, soundtrack, fight choreography, editing, sound, acting, and directing certainly made up for any flaws. Many of these can be subjective (any kind of artistic direction or music choice, for sure) but there’s no doubt as to the acting talent. Park Seo-jun (Yong-hu) shows us a young man consumed with anger toward God who then evolves and can finally let go of that blackness to help those in need. Ahn Sung-ki (Father Ahn) has been acting since he was 5-years old. Though Father Ahn is fighting demons throughout the film, the character is so gentle and patient with Yong-hu, despite the younger man’s vitriol aimed at him.

But I think my favorite actor was Woo Do-hwan (Ji-Sin, aka The Black Bishop). He plays this attractive, smooth, unassuming club owner. His subversive nature, though, is in service of a terrible snake demon and the way he manipulates people to do what he wants is rather unnerving. He has no qualms about removing ANY obstacle and doing what’s necessary to achieve his evil goals. And guess what? He didn’t need to kill the dog to show us. Now, what he does with the dog…I won’t tell you but (and maybe this makes me a monster) it was awesome.

Also his transformation at the end looked pretty fucking tits. From what I could tell, it was practical latex/foam or something to that effect. Looked completely real and natural, you know, as far as a snake demon would look. Even as he pulled off his wet cloak, it looked like a snake shedding its skin. So fucking cool.

So if you enjoy a good versus evil story, redemption films, or demons in general (and who doesn’t??), and you don’t mind reading subtitles (please don’t watch dubbed foreign films if you don’t have to), check out The Divine Fury. You won’t be disappointed.

3.5 Hatchets (out of 5)

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Static Age #17: Return of Ultraman (1971 – 1972) [Complete Series 04]

Return of Ultraman (1971 - 1972) BD box art

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to Return of Ultraman (1971 – 1972), ‘On a mission to save Earth, Ultraman has returned’ as per the front cover tagline of Mill Creek Entertainment’s excellent Region A Blu-ray box-set [Complete Series 04], which contains of all 51 episodes in their original Japanese (DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0) with optional English subtitles and a stunning 1080p High-Definition 1.33:1 transfer. The set also comes with a booklet that is featuring an introductory article to the series, and several guides (hero, episode, kaiju, character, and key technology).

 

Although Tokyo Broadcasting System (TBS) was planning to wrap the Ultra series with its previous installment, fan demand and merchandise sales forced the studio to bring Ultraman back, this time a little different. Fans originally called this version of the hero New Ultraman, but later went with Ultraman Jack.

 

The first episode, ‘All Monsters Attack’ is epic in scope, as Weather awakens all monsters and all hell breaks loose, but it is also a fascinating episode in terms of story as we are introduced to our hero, as well as in terms of visuals especially when director Ishiro Honda opts for psychedelics and weird sci-fi. Ishiro Honda’s second chapter, ‘Takkong’s Great Counterattack’ brings more mayhem as the titular monster is unleashed again. ‘The Monster Realm of Terror’ kicks off with a mysterious monster roar and then it is all about kaiju battles. ‘Fatal Attack! Meteor Kick’ is featuring the awesome Kingsaurus III monster, that Ultraman will be able to defeat only with a special kick. The title of ‘Two Giant Monsters Attack Tokyo’ is self-explanatory, but it should also be added that they resemble nasty cockroaches. The battle continues in ‘Showdown! Monsters Vs. Mat’. The chameleon-like Gorbagos monster makes an appearance in ‘Operation Monster Rainbow’ and MAT will try to defeat it by painting it in the rainbow colors, giving an extra queer touch to the proceedings. ‘Monster Time Bomb’ is about Ghostron a monster with a time-bomb in its body, threatening to explode a dynamite factory! MAT’s New York headquarters develop a special monster detector in ‘Monster Island S.O.S.’. Biology in general and evolution in particular come up front in the eerie ‘Dinosaur Detonation Order’ episode when Stegon, a sympathetic dinosaur fossil comes to life. The Mognezun monster swallowed poison gas in ‘Poison Gas Monster Appears’ and is now far more deadlier. In ‘Revenge of Monster Shugaron’ we’ll get to find out whether the titular monster has a connection with a famous painter or not. In ‘Terror of the Tsunami Monster: Tokyo in Peril’ the Seamons and Seagorath monsters initiate large and deadly waves; the story continues in ‘Terror of the Two Giant Monsters: The Great Tokyo Tornado’. In ‘Revenge of the Monster Boy’ the Eledortus monster gets his power by sucking up electricity! In the eerie ‘The Mystery of Big Bird Monster Terochilus’, unexpected snow and a mysterious red gas cause misery and madness; the story continues in full action mode in ‘Monster Bird Terochilus Big Air Raid of Tokyo’. The Bemstar monster that resembles a flying turtle and that is sucking up gas cannot be defeated by Ultraman, so ‘Here Comes Ultraseven!’. Ultraman returns solo to fight Sartan, a monster that resembles an elephant, in ‘The Invisible Giant Monster from Outer Space’. Ultraman has to fight the Magnedon monster that resembles an alien bull in ‘The Monster is a Shooting Star in Space’. ‘The Monster Channel’ is as eerie as it sounds. Ultraman has to face a trash-eating, web-spitting, and missile-catching monster in ‘Leave this Monster to Me’. In ‘Spit Out the Stars, Dark Monster!’ we are introduced to Zanika, the Cancer monster. In ‘Horror! Birth of the Apartment Monster’, a kid grabs a small part of an alien creature recently destroyed by MAT and nurtures it until it becomes the dangerous Kingstrom monster. ‘Leaving My Home Planet, Earth’ is less about the monster on display, but rather about a kid obsessed with guns.

 

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent series…

 

The cast of Penny Dreadful - Season 3

The 3^rd season of Penny Dreadful (2014 – 2016) finds Sir Malcolm Murray (Timothy Dalton), Ethan Chandler (Josh Hartnett), Dr. Victor Frankenstein (Harry Treadaway), and Vanessa Ives (Eva Green) separated in various far away locales around the world, as we are also introduced to Dr. Henry Jekyll (Shazad Latif) and Count Dracula. In the meanwhile Dorian Grey (Reeve Carney) acquires the help of Frankenstein’s monsters and other misfits in order to aid him with the world domination plans that he has.

 

Stunning art from Doctor Who - Season 9

The 9^th season of Doctor Who (2005 – present) continues with more adventures of the titular time-lord (Peter Capaldi) and his sidekick Clara (Jenna Coleman). Airplanes are stuck in the sky in ‘The Magician’s Apprentice’, and Clara looks for explanations as well as the Doctor. Clara does find both in ‘The Witch’s Familiar’, but the Doctor has to employ his rock star qualities in order to save the day. The U.K. cultural phenomenon keeps on getting better and better. ‘Under the Lake’ brings The Doctor and his sidekick to a secluded underwater facility, the inhabitants of which live under the terror of the local ghosts; the story continues in ‘Before the Flood’ in which we are introduced to the evil Fisher King and get to question the origin of Beethoven’s 5^th symphony. In ‘The Girl Who Died’ we are introduced to Vikings (sometimes I wish today’s people would be as tough as Vikings, because due to us citizens being vanilla, we exchanged our privacy for access to social media, essentially becoming as dumb as to swallow laws that destroy many of workers’ rights and project no sense of reaction to our future being stolen by the ruling class) and Ashildr (Maisie Williams), who in the next episode, entitled ‘The Woman Who Lived’ becomes the beauty in a sort of Beauty and the Beast tale set in 1651 England. ‘The Zygon Invasion’ is about the titular aliens who have integrated well on planet Earth, until some of them betray the mutual trust between them and humans; the story continues with Clara playing a double part in ‘The Zygon Inversion’. By employing the legend of the Sandman as well as shaky video footage, ‘Sleep No More’ is one of this season’s most eerie episodes. The very original ‘Face the Raven’ episode is about a strange number tattoo initiated by a raven and is basically a countdown to the person’s death; the story continues in the excellent one man show episode ‘Heaven Sent’ in which The Doctor has to deal with loss; and the story concludes with the season’s grand finale in ‘Hell Bent’.

 

Knives Out (2019) poster

Also, please allow me to speak a word or two about some recent mainstream films…

 

Knives Out (2019) takes the whodunit genre to exciting horror comedy territory, benefiting from an unconventional, intelligent, and original script by Rian Johnson (who also directed) and a great cast that includes Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, and Jamie Lee Curtis. It comes highly recommended and I can’t wait for the sequels.

 

And finally, I would like to let you know that I enriched my bookshelf with the following additions… Stuart MacBride’s ultra-violent police procedure thriller Flesh House (2020), Stephen King’s kinetic and frenetic Firestarter (1980) and the non-fiction opus Danse Macabre (1981), and six books by Roberto Saviano [Il Contrario della Morte (2007), Il Bellezza e L’inferno (2009), Vieni via con me (2010), ZeroZeroZero (2013), La Paranza dei Bambini (2016), and Bacio Feroce (2017)].

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The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019) Movie Review

Okay, hear me out. This is not my usual fare, here or on my own website. But to give you a quick backstory, I found a YouTuber who reviews bad films and inserts comedic material (commentary and green screen stuff – it’s pretty hilarious. Jamie French, look her up.). She does more wholesome, family friendly stuff and Hilary Duff is the subject of at least three of these reviews.

Yes, Lizzie McGuire herself (though I never watched any of the LM stuff as I was already a grown-ass woman when that came out and not the demographic target).

Anyhoo, Jamie comments multiple times that Hilary isn’t all that bad an actress. I would agree for the most part but I wanted to see her in something a little more heavy, dramatic, and serious. Amazon Prime is streaming the movie I’m reviewing and I gotta say, Hilary did not deserve the Razzie she received for her work in it.

Let’s break it down a bit, shall we? Though, in not-like-me fashion at all, I will do my best to not reveal any spoilers, though this film is based on the Manson Murders so I think most of us know what the hell happens, right?

First you have to understand that this film’s story is based on two untruths – Sharon Tate’s premonition about her death, and the five victims not being murdered at all. Keep those in mind as we discuss the film, okay?

Second, because of these liberties in storytelling, lots of people, including Sharon’s sister, have decried the film as “classless” and “exploitative”. And in a sense that’s true. It seemed a lot of folks were trying to cash in on the 50^th anniversary of the murders. Perhaps writer/director Daniel Farrands could have waited to film his vision, or at least release it earlier/later, depending on when he wrote it.

I can’t disagree with any of the victims’ surviving families and friends on any of their criticisms. I have never had someone I loved viciously murdered by a gang of doped up fuckwads manipulated into action by one of the biggest megalomaniacal psychotics to ever exist. But at the same time, I can appreciate what Farrands was trying to do with his film. He wanted to take the focus away from The Family and focus on the victims, to give them the power instead.

The story veers from historical events like this: In the days leading up to her murder, Sharon is having nightmares and premonitions about her pending death. Though her friends chalk it up to the hormonal imbalances produced by pregnancy, and missing her husband, she can’t shake the feeling that her hallucinations, nightmares, and the almost intrusive musical recording of some guy, Charlie, are all linked.

When The Family does infiltrate the house, planning to murder everyone, Sharon and her friends turn the tables on the intruders. They fight back, get the jump on their would-be killers, and kill them instead. They survive the horrific night and get to continue on with their lives.

At least, until the closing scene. Alternate reality or not, there’s only so far Farrands will go before we all remember what really happened that night 52 years ago. And he brings us slamming back to reality with one of the most heartbreaking final shots I’ve seen in a film in a long time.

From what I’ve read from an interview with Farrands, and he brings this idea up in the dialog of the movie several times, he wanted to explore an alternate reality in regard to the murders.

“My version of the story is set in an alternate reality that asks questions about fate, destiny, and whether or not we have control over the ‘script’ of our lives.”

I think we all do this from time to time, playing the ‘what if’ game to determine if different choices would result in different outcomes. I don’t think he was trying to be disrespectful, or exploitative in any way. Farrands had no interest in Manson and The Family, and did not make their lifestyle or philosophies come off as sexy or interesting (which lots of filmmakers have done to the disgust of the rest of us).

It may seem like I’m defending Farrands because he created such a brilliant film. Um, not really. The film isn’t that great, to be honest. Just over 90 minutes felt too long, probably because he started with a false narrative and had to expand it will filler and slow-mo shots to get it to feature length. The pacing dragged (probably because of the aforementioned padding) which pulls you out of the story.

That said, the nightmare sequence Sharon experiences is absolutely horrifying and I found myself crying because, as we all know, those terrible things happened in real life. But I think it was the final shot, after they 'lived', that truly broke my heart. It's a scene that has stayed with me since I watched the film.

Also I have to say the acting was top notch. Hilary and Jonathan Bennet, who played Jay Sebring, were the best parts of the movie. It's nice to see Hilary broaden her acting experience. I'm not saying she's Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren, but she has definitely stretched her tween rom-com wings into adulthood.

If you have the chance to watch this movie, do it. It probably won't end up on your list of classic films or something you can watch over and over. But the idea explored in the film are worth looking at and Farrands does a good job of showing us what might have been.

3 Hatchets (out of 5)

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Frankenstein vs Dracula (aka Assignment Terror) 1970 - Movie Review

There’s no way in hell I’m going to enjoy this movie to the point of singing its praises, or commending its production value, acting, makeup, f/x, plot, etc. There’s…just no fucking way.

Spoiler Alert I: I was right.

SPOILER ALERT II: I’m probably going to spoil plot lines and twists so if you haven’t seen it, stop reading, go watch the film, then come back.

Frankenstein vsDracula (aka Assignment Terror) is the most convoluted, ridiculous film I’ve watched in a while. Plot description on IMDB: After an alien convinces a werewolf, Dracula, Mummy, and Frankenstein’s monster (at least they got that right) to help him destroy the earth, all hell breaks loose.

And this is absolutely NOT the plot.

Well, it is and it isn’t. The basics are kinda there. What’s going on is a superior (in their minds) alien race is dying. They need to find a new planet. They decide on Earth but wouldn’t you know it, it’s filled with earthlings. So they plan to exploit mankind’s foolish superstitions and fears (you know, monsters and shit) in order to dominate them or destroy them completely.

Sure, they could blow up the entire human race with nukes, but they need the planet intact. Otherwise, they’ll have no place to colonize. Duh. And despite the fact they’ve already got a shit ton of agents and spies in place on Earth, the success of this particular mission will decide if they end up calling Earth home or they die out completely.

And you’re going with this whole scary monster thing, huh? Okay then…

The three main aliens working on this RIDICULOUS plan are Dr. Odo Warnoff (the most condescending of the trio), Dr. Maleva Kerstein, and Dr. Kerian. Because the aliens are soooo superior to humans, they don’t have to worry about becoming influenced by their puny fears and emotions. So the aliens are incarnated into existing human bodies. And since they know that beautiful women are like powerful magnets, they’ll use the buxom beauties to attract statesmen, scientists, and generals, then steal all their vital secrets.

I’m sure that’ll work out just great for you.

OMG! BTS is coming in concert next summer!

They find an actual vampire, werewolf, mummy, and Farancksalan’s monster (no, I’m not kidding). Their big plan is to use a mind control device on each one, turning them into willing slaves to the aliens, while the aliens use the monsters’ blood to create clones that will destroy mankind.

Fortunately for us Earthlings, the cops figure out what the hell is going on and thwart the alien takeover, after a few epic monster battles, of course. HUMANS: 1; ALIENS: 0

 

Normally I would delve into further details of the film, scene by scene. But honestly, I can’t be bothered. It’s not really worth anyone’s time to stare into the abysmal nature of this movie. But I can discuss a few elements.

1. I really enjoyed Paul Naschy, who played – you guessed it – his iconic role as the werewolf, Waldemar Daninsky. He was the only monster given a fully developed backstory, and the years of Naschy playing this exact character backs it up. He’s really one of the few characters that the viewer can get behind and root for. Any completist Naschy fans out there will probably want to watch this, just for Waldemar.
2. The makeup for the mummy is the best of all the monsters. Looks very realistic, and not just a bunch of latex and toilet paper mushed together to create the appearance of a desiccated corpse.
3. There was slight character development with Inspector Tobermann. He takes on the brunt of the investigation, falls in love, starts to get overstressed with monster hallucinations, and gets to have all the human-on-monster fights in the film. He also had some fun banter with his boss. I’m not saying I gave a shit about anything he did, but at least the writer tried. Guess who the writer was? Paul Naschy. Hmmm, that could explain why the werewolf got so much play…

 

Beyond these few things, the movie was a pile of nonsensical idiocy. We never come back to the idea of beautiful women stealing secrets from powerful men; aliens hammer on the idea of how superior they are but become susceptible to human emotion and fuck up their mission, in a completely surprising and not predictable in any way turn of events; the high mucky mucks in the police force immediately believe the story of aliens using monsters to destroy the world. Naschy missed a huge opportunity to explore that aspect to create tension.

The music never fit any scene it was used in. The editing was choppy at best, migraine inducing at worst, and made transitions so muddled that I couldn’t be sure we had moved on to a brand-new scene until 30 seconds after the cut. Most of the special effect makeup was terrible, particularly for Fetasalad’s monster. It looks like someone put a hat box on his head and painted over it.

Here, watch me do my Dirty Harry impression.

I did like that Waldemar’s character had the most backstory, but some of it seems rather convenient just to be able to give credence to monsterkind in general by explaining how a high-ranking judge crossed paths with the werewolf years earlier. With that, and more intricate coincidences, made the rest of the monsters shallow and unimportant. But again, Naschy wrote the story and the screenplay.

By the time we reach the conclusion, complete with alien lab explosion, and our cop hero philosophizing out loud for the benefit of us all, the story has become so convoluted and overflowing with minutia, the viewer feels dissatisfied, empty, and probably pissed at losing 90 minutes of their life they can never get back.

1 hatchet (out of 5)

P.S. I don’t know why this was ever titled Frankenstein vs Dracula because 1) Dracula isn’t the vampire in this movie; and 2) the werewolf and Frank keep duking it out, for reasons unexplained.

 

 

 

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A Binge too Far #17: Horror Meltdown

Stunning image from Color Out of Space (2019)

 

Welcome back to the internet’s least popular film discussion blog! This time around we take a look on two horror goodies from 2019.

 

Reviews

 

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (2019)

 

Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark

Set in Small Town, America, during the time when Night Of The Living Dead (1968) still played drive-ins and Richard Nixon was running for president, this is about the struggles of the nerds (led by the peculiarly beautiful Zoe Margaret Colletti) against the jocks, but things become even worse for the protagonists when a haunted book cannot read by them but reads them instead, as in dictating their faiths that suffice to say are not that good.

 

It is no wonder that amidst the current Stephen King renaissance that spawned homages such as Stranger Things (2016 – ongoing) that a film like this would come to fruition, however its fault is that it is not that scary as per the title’s promise. However, the youths in producer Guillermo del Toro’s film are battling against a variety of monsters that include a scarecrow and the ghost witch (don’t expect an attractive gothic witch, the one her is grotesque) that initiated the aforementioned book, and all of them are stunning thanks to great work done both by the practical effects teams and the CGI ones; and there is even a rollercoaster-like haunted house in display as well, making this an entertaining opus, if not a highly recommended one. Directed by Andre Ovredal.

 

Color Out Of Space (2019)

 

Color Out of Space (2019)

Following “the operation” (i.e. mastectomy) his wife (Joely Richardson recently had, Nathan Gardner (Nicolas Cage, in the wake of a string of awesome movies that he recently did) takes her and their son Benny (Brendan Meyer, a young TV actor) and Wicca daughter (Madeleine Arthur, a gorgeous young actress that is mostly recognizable due to her television work) away from the city and to a secluded house and farm they just bought.

 

Their newly found life in the middle of nowhere seems to be dysfunctional but nothing out of the ordinary (they just seem like a family that recently left the city behind and trying to adapt to willing isolation); that is until a strangely colored meteorite (hence the title) is crashing on their backyard and with it bringing a number of consequences that at first seem to be coincidences, but soon it becomes apparent that something strange is going on as members of the family and the community start losing it and animals turn into mutant monsters.

 

Based upon H.P. Lovecraft’s The Color Out of Space (1927) short story, the screenplay by Richard Stanley (who also directed) and Scarlett Amaris, is offering poetic voice over (in the beginning and the end) and equally haunting dialogues (throughout the entire picture and by almost every member of the cast) that co-exist perfectly with the dreamy visuals, while tonally it echoes the sensibilities of classic sci-fi of the 1950s and pollution/infection cinema of the 1970s.

 

The protagonist family is surrounded by an air of tenderness, similar to what you usually see in 1980s movies and that generation’s ruling ethics, and it is all greatly disrupted by the collective hysteria and madness that is about to ensue. All of the above would be of great interest to most readers of this blog, but wait until you see the monsters! Mutated, disfigured, and transformed to uncanny forms by god knows what, these creatures are so otherworldly that one can’t help but imagine what Stuart Gordon or Brian Yuzna would do if they had them at their disposal. One thing is certain, this is one of the greatest Lovecraft adaptations ever, and not just story-wise, but in terms of mood and atmosphere as well.

 

The film’s pace is not conventional (the first act is particularly strange), and everything here has semiotic meaning, something blatantly so and sometimes disguised. It’s all brilliantly wrapped with cinematographer Steve Annis’ stunning and breath-taking color palette; we wouldn’t have it any other way with a title like that.

 

This was a difficult project for Stanley to get off the ground, as he was sort of unofficially blacklisted in Hollywood due to the massive box-office failure of The Island Of Dr. Moreau (1996). He really wanted to make the film though as he was obsessed with Lovecraft’s story since he was a kid when he first read it after being introduced to the legendary writer’s works by his mother. In turn, when his mother was dying he was reading this story in her deathbed. He managed to raise interest when he uploaded a trailer online in 2013, and SpectreVision announced their collaboration in 2015. By 2018 Nicolas Cage was on board and by 2019 ACE Pictures joined too, making principal photography able to begin. The end result premiered at 2019 Toronto International Film Festival’s Midnight Madness section when Nicolas Cage won the Creative Coalition’s Spotlight Initiative Award. Then a limited theatrical release followed, while now the film is available to stream and buy. Stanley went on record to say that this is only the first film of a Lovecraft adaptations trilogy that he is preparing. We say, bring it on!

 

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The Dark (2018) Movie Review

I’m kinda getting tired of taking a chance on an unknown movie and then liking it. I mean, this is Cinema Headcheese. I take pride in holding myself to a certain standard of crap and bitching about it.

Geez.

As I wasn’t planning to review this particular film, I didn’t take copious notes. That will help this to be a more spoiler-free review. The film is also from 2018, so it’s still relatively new and probably not on a lot of people’s radars.

The Dark is about two teenagers who bond and heal in the wake of traumatic experiences. Mina, after being killed by her mother’s molesting boyfriend, wakes as a zombie in the woods near her home. She must kill and eat humans to “survive”. Several years later, she crosses paths with a wanted criminal who trespasses into her territory, and promptly kills him. While searching the man’s car for goods, she discovers Alex, a teenage boy the man had kidnapped then blinded through torture.

As Mina takes Alex in tow, trying to find him food, shelter, and help, the two create a strong bond of friendship, each a healing force for the other. Though in order to keep Alex safe, blood’s gonna get spilled.

I actually don’t want to say more than that. I don’t want to break down the film scene by scene, like I usually do. I will comment on a few aspects, of course. Despite there being a lot of division among reviewers across the internet, I don’t think anyone can deny this film throws an emotional punch. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since I watched it.

About 80% of the film is carried by two people: Nadia Alexander and Toby Nichols, who play Mina and Alex respectively. The subject matter, zombie aspect aside, is very heavy and these two bore the brunt of it well. Using the zombie trope to explore and discuss issues like molestation, rape, kidnapping, torture, brain washing, and murder through the eyes of the teens that experienced these horrors is something I haven’t seen before. At least, not with this strong emotional connection. Even Mina’s zombie isn’t typical. She’s not a brainless, shambling, cloudy-eyed automaton. Aside from the killing and eating people, she could be a “normal” teenage girl.

Toby did a fantastic job of playing a teen who’d obviously been so traumatized, he was reluctant to go with Mina even after she told him his kidnapper was dead. He lived in fear that the man would come back for him or find his family and kill them. When we first encounter Alex, he’s in soiled clothes with burn scars over his eyes. But we didn’t need to see him go through that hell. Toby showed us plenty through his acting in the film. Same for Mina. We do get some flashbacks to give us an idea how she got to this zombified state, but Nadia shows us plenty without us having to witness her personal trauma.

There is no soundtrack. There is one simplistic song, “Mina’s Theme”, that plays a couple times. Or the kids hum a soft tune once or twice. But I think the lack of music made this a much more powerful film. That in conjunction with the cinematography created such a bleak and unforgiving world these kids had to live in.

Most of the film is dark, lighting-wise, I mean. I don’t know if that was a director’s choice to show that we each have darkness to contend with inside and out, or that the world is a dark place, hence the title of the film. Darkness can be different for everyone, and from some of the character development in this movie, I’d say the teens weren’t the only ones who had suffered at the hands of something dark and terrible.

The one main thing I didn’t like was the pacing. It did drag a bit, and some scenes went on a little too long. But only checking my watch once or twice during a 90-minute film is fairly good, so it wasn’t as bad as others I’ve watched in the past.

I did try to read up on a bunch of reviews because the ending is a little…huh? And after discovering NO ONE had any answers or theories out there, I realized that the writer may have left the ending a little vague so each viewer could interpret in their own way. I can’t really say what I think the ending means because it would give too much away. But it did give me hope for Alex’s recovery, and for Mina’s, too.

Is this a supernatural tale? Sure. Is it a human story? Absolutely. What it means for you will be different than what it means for me. And stories that keep me thinking, long after they’re over, are some of the most beautiful stories out there.

It’s on Amazon Prime if you’d like to check it out for yourself.

4 hatchets (out of 5)

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Dark House (2014) Movie Review

If you can believe it, sometimes I’m more leery of modern horror than ‘vintage’. I know, unheard of, right? But every now and again, I like to live dangerously. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes not. In this case…um, yes?

(WARNING: I do spoil movies because I have no self-control. So if you haven’t seen this, stop reading, go watch the movie, then come back.)

Dark House is about Nick DiSanto. When he was eight years old, his mother committed herself to an asylum. The main reason is because when Nick touches people, he can see their death. Not just a regular death, though. It has to be something sooper bad, like being chopped up by an axe murder or something. I guess that was a little stressful on mom.

And now, here we are, on Nick’s 23^rd birthday, and he gets a call from the asylum. In all these years, his mother has never wanted to see him – or anyone, for that matter – but today she specifically requested a visit from her long-abandoned son. Naturally, she’s a bit scared to look at him (guilt, fear, take your pick) but once she makes that connection, she tells Nick that his father isn’t dead; yes, I’ve known who he is all along; he’s coming for you.

Nick’s a bit pissed, as you might imagine, and grabs her, demanding the truth. He sees her horrible death – she’s on fire – before her warning turns into babbling and Nick just wants the fuck out. His roommate is waiting outside the asylum so they can go party and drink and celebrate Nick’s birthday. Nick wants to drink away his problems anyway, so let’s go.

He meets Eve, who will soon become his best gal. When he touches her, he doesn’t have the violent visions of death. Well, that’s convenient. So they hang out, talk about life, the crazy coincidences with the number 23 (gee, I wonder if that’s going to come back at all…), deal with some assholes who want to really know if Nick can see their deaths, blah blah. Commence the lovey-dovies, she gets pregnant, and they’re happy. UNTIL…

We get a quick scene with mom as she talks to the voice in her vent. Yeah, she’s crazy. The voice is angry, though, because she didn’t give Nick the 4-1-1 on HIM (the voice) so he (the voice) sets mom on fire, which in turn, burns the whole asylum down. Eight months later, Nick gets a call from a judge about his mother’s will. Nick didn’t even know she had one, but he discovers that she had the deed to a house that is now his. But the weirdest part (aside from the judge talking to the voice in his vent after Nick leaves) is that Nick has been drawing a particular house his whole life, thinking it was just something he imagined. Turns out the house he now owns is the house from his imagination – or memory. It MUST have a clue about his dad.

Now Nick, Eve (eight months pregnant, btdubs), and roomie, Ryan, head out to find this house in the backwater town of Rivers End. That house he’s searching for is a bit of a local legend. It’s known as Wormwood and was washed away in the Black Water Flood 23 years ago (hey, 23 again…). With the help of some rando land surveyors, Kris, Sam, and Lilith, they actually find the house intact.

Yes, that’s impossible but nevertheless, here we are.

Not only is the house still intact, but a man, Seth, has been there for years, “working” on it. So get the fuck out. Though he lets Nick come in for a bit, explaining that God brought the flood to get rid of this house and Seth’s been trying to tear it down ever since. Then he tosses Nick out and says never return. Cue the three creepy loping guys carrying hatchets that chase everyone off the property. Unfortunately, Sam is killed, Kris is nearly killed, and Lilith is being all weird with Eve.

GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DAMN KIDS!

This is when things start taking a sideways path, folks.

The group goes back to town for help but it’s completely empty. At least, it LOOKS empty to them, even though the place is bustling with activity. Only one person can actually see the group as they’re searching for aid, Lucky, one of the townsfolk that goes AND TALKS TO A VOICE IN A FUCKING VENT.

Next thing we know, the group is back at the house, even though they drove 30 miles away from it. They’ve got to take shelter inside for the night and then figure out what to do in the morning. Seth and the Lopers are outside watching the house but he instructs them to stay put. They’ll know when to go back inside.

Wait, what?

Nick dreams about a hidden door in the house, as well as his mom in the vent who tells Nick she’s trapped, just like his father. He needs to release them both – go open the cellar! And yep, when he wakes up, he goes in search of that door. Chris seems awfully helpful about getting that door open, too. Each time they open it though, the Lopers come to life and charge the house. But once they close the door, the Lopers just stand still. So the group weaves their way through them, hoping to go find their car, and GTFO.

Unfortunately, they get separated. Nick and Ryan find Sam’s body and discover he’s not quite…human. Lilith and Eve find the car and hide, but Lilith ain’t so human either. Luckily, Seth shows up and kills Lilith because she was going to EAT EVE’S BABY.

And now we finally find out what the hell is going on – literally. Lilith, Sammael (Sam), and Kristoff (Kris) are all demons of hell. Their purpose was to destroy the baby, get Nick into the house to open the cellar, and invite his dad (which we assume is Satan) into the living realm. But it could only be done by Satan’s human son during his 23^rd year of life (there’s that pesky 23 again). Seth has been trying to destroy the house since the flood. The Lopers are actually God’s Gargoyles (that’s what Kristoff calls them) and working for Seth.

Kris and Nick meet up and, yep, Nick ends up in the house and…Eve and Ryan find him covered in blood with an axe sticking out of his back. Oh don’t worry, he’s still alive. The other two try to convince him to leave, but Nick’s mad that everyone tried to stop him, and his dad. Little tussle ensues and Eve wakes up in the hospital, after having given birth to a son. Seth saved her ass and told her it’s time for her to forget Nick and move on.

Four years later, Eve’s son is at the kitchen table, drawing the same house Nick drew his whole life, while listening to a voice COMING OUT OF THE FUCKING VENT.

Nope, nope, nope, fucking nope. 

Lots to unpack here…

Look, this story is nothing new. It’s not particularly original or inventive or groundbreaking. Throughout my notes, I called a lot of the big twists or reveals because, as a horror lover, I’ve seen and read this trope dozens of times. The hints scattered throughout the movie are giant sourdough loaves. But that doesn’t make the movie less enjoyable.

The main characters are believable and grounded in reality, as much as they can be in a ‘bring Satan to the world’ film. Even the minor characters, no matter how short their screen time, are necessary pieces of the overall puzzle and I can’t imagine how the story would have worked without them.

The acting is fantastic. Tobin Bell plays Seth and he’s probably the most likeable, even when you don’t know his true purpose until later. He has great presence on screen, a perfect choice for Seth. Lacy Anzelc played Lilith and from the get-go, she’s ‘off’, you know? She played the demon with such subtlety. You didn’t know why she got under your skin; she just did. Ethan S. Smith as Samael came off as this meek, bumbling dork but in reality, Samael is an assassin for Hell, so he needed to cover up his true purpose. Zach Ward as Kristoff was the demon that can create illusions – like the empty town, driving in circles, etc. So all their confusion was his doing. How cool is that? Also, I adore Zach Ward.

The music was great through the whole movie. It was used particularly well for building tension. There were a few times the pacing lagged, but the music helped bring it back on track. Editing, cinematography, production, direction, makeup, set design, and wardrobe were all great. I loved the look of the Gargoyles. We never got to see their faces and the way they loped through their attack scenes was so creepy. They were one of my favorite things in the film. Them and the 1950s Cadillac that Ryan drove.

With all the good, there has to be some bad. Like I said before, the story is a well-known trope. The devil has a son and needs him to bring hell on earth is not new. So, for me, it was easy to figure out what was going on relatively early. And I never know what the fuck is happening in movies so when I can figure it out, that’s bad.

A lot of elements in the storytelling were OBVIOUSLY used as double meanings or foreshadowing. Even some of the simple names and terms were elbow nudges to the testicles about what was going on. The whole bar scene discussion about the number 23; calling the house Wormwood; Lilith’s name; etc. Now maybe, if you’re not that familiar with the Bible or Christianity or the tv show, Supernatural, none of this would trigger any bells for you. But I am – I attended catholic school for eleven, and four of Lutheran college. I was named after a nun, for crying out loud. Lots of predictability here.

While the rest of production was great, the sound was terrible. And the worst kind of terrible: quiet dialogue and EAR BLEEDING DECIBLES FOR THE SOUND EFFECTS. I can forgive a lot of stuff in films if I’m entertained and not checking my watch all the time, but not crap audio balance.

Also, I was checking my watch from time to time. The pacing is uneven and the story drags in several places.

I have to say, overall, that this is an enjoyable film. Despite its flaws, the good outweighs a lot of the bad. I almost want to go back and watch again just to see if there are any other clues I may have missed (doubtful, but I’m not perfect).

2.5 hatchets (out of 5)

 

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