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June 15, 2011

Movie Review: Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid (2011, Blu-ray)

Eighties bubblegum pop sensations Tiffany and Debbie Gibson haven't seen too much success over the past twenty years in their singing careers, but that sure hasn't stopped them from churning out schlock. The girls are here together in Mary Lambert's CGI filled monster flick, Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid. They aren't busting out tunes either - they're kickin' cartoony python and gator arse.

Buy Mega Python vs. Gatoroid [Blu-ray] or DVD

Originally shown on the Sy Fy Network, Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid comes courtesy of Image Entertainment on DVD and Blu-ray. Let start off by saying that my heart is with the "man in the suit" monster films so it has not been an easy transition to watching the CGI antics of so many genre film (Specifically the Sy Fy output), but here it's kind of a unique situation: You have a capable and talented director in Mary Lambert (Pet Cemetery) and the chance to watch the two former teen queens nearing menopause attempt to act.

Tiffany plays Terry O'Hara, a park ranger that's very concerned about the welfare of the gators in the area. The scaly behemoths seemed to be turning up dead all over the swamps. Enter Nikki Riley (Deborah Gibson), a animal rights activist with more of a lean to the slithering kind of reptiles. You know these ladies just aren't gonna get along. Like the CGI, in not so convincing fashion, they don't..but it's fucking funny watching them try. After Terri's boyfriend is eaten by a giant python while investigating the dead gators, the chunky red-headed lass becomes consumed with vengeance.

On an acting scale, grading these ladies is pretty damned difficult as they're both atrocious . I give the edge to Debbie Gibson but I will say Tiffany is much easier on the eyes. I never noticed this before, but Tiffany has some gigantic jiggly boobs. Amazingly, with all the tactics they use to kill the monstrous alligators and pythons she never uses her fun-bags to mash the carnivorous bastards. I wanted to see some Chesty Morgan-style heroics! Unfortunately, below the chest she's built like Ned Beatty - but that's another story.

The movie looks lovely on Blu-ray and there are also a few extra features that include a featurette. The gals chat about production while in the make-up chair and in other parts of the set. I didn't get to see this on Sy Fy when it was originally broadcasted but it I'm assuming there's a little more here in the blood and profanity department. Most of the gore is aftermath stuff but it's nice and sticky.

"Guy in rubber suit" always wins over computer generated monsters but I must say I laughed a lot watching Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid and I didn't even mention the songs that Tiffany and Debbie sang for the soundtrack either. Grab a twelve-pack of the cheapest beer you like (maybe a fifth of Jack too) and pop this crazy creature feature in your Blu-ray player.

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