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June 3, 2011

Movie Review: The Andy Sidaris Collection: Girls, Guns and G-Strings (2011, DVD, Mill Creek)

Mill Creek reminds us that Andy Sidaris was indeed the greatest director ever with a release of his boob/action packed tenure. Hold on to your keyboards, tits, gun and explosions up ahead!


Boobs. Bombs. Bullets. Any questions? Hope not, cause that's all you really need to know about the films from the late, great Andy Sidaris. A man who took the greatest things in life, put them into a blender and hit frappe. The result is a series of films dedicated to all things badass and entertaining. Filled with gratuitous boobage supplied by then Playboy Playmates, these women also kicked major ass, sometimes putting other 80's action commandos to shame. Add a tropical island setting, car chases, excessive gun play, anything associated with raising your testosterone level and you have the gist of the 12 films included in this release.

Buy Girls Guns & G-Strings on DVD

Malibu Express
Millionaire and private investigator Cody Abilene (Darby Hinton) is hired to investigate who is selling computer tech to the ruskies. He's also a ladies man, meaning there is plenty of tit screen time from women who have Abilene fever. Malibu Express is non-stop fun, action and hilarity from start to finish. 

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

This film is what made me a bonafide Sidaris lover. It's definitely one of the most batshit films ever made. Michael Bay only wished he could direct films as explosive as this.  Secret Agents Donna & Taryn (played by Sidaris regulars , 80's Playmates Dona Spier and Hope Marie Carlton) are sent to Hawaii to stop a drug boss from spreading narcotics across the island. Things get awesome when a giant snake (made of rubber and hilarious every time it appears) contaminated with cancer begins eating islanders.With help from their muscle head boyfriends, they aim to take down the kingpin with an arsenal of weapons including a giant bazooka and razor tipped frisbee's. I can only say so much to describe it's greatness, this has to be experienced to believe.

Picasso Trigger
Assassination, double crossing, gorgeous women...another days work for Travis Abilene (the Abilene's really do get all the women). Using special weapons (explosive boomerang, a crutch that shoots bullets, ya know the usual) Travis and his sexy cohorts (Dona & Taryn reprising characters from Hard Ticket to Hawaii) must stop the evil Ortiz before it's too late. The three B's (boobs, bombs, bullets) ensue.

Savage Beach
Dona & Taryn return again for some tit showing, gun blazing action. While on assignment, the busty agent's plane crashes on a seemingly deserted island. They are captured by US Naval meatheads looking for a 50 year old hidden fortune. A terrorist group has their eye on the treasure also, creating a war between the two gold seekers. Dona and Taryn have to ban with the commandos in order to stay alive or risk death!

Criminal Juan Degas aka Jack of Diamonds (played by everyone's favorite ChiP Erik Estrada) has a lust for big guns but learns the hard way when special agent Donna (Dona Spier returning...again) arms herself with a rocket launcher to take the gunrunner down. Agent Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) is along for the ride too...cause she has boobs.

Do or Die
Crime boss Kane (Pat Morita taking a break from wax on, wax off) has a team of assassins hired to take down agent Donna (Dona Spier is in every Sidaris film apparently) and her sexy female partner. They call Erik Estrada to save the day. Things go boom, tits are stuff kids.

Hard Hunted
Some evil dickhead get's his hands on a nuclear trigger which can cripple the world so the government sends the best agents to stop him. You guess it...agents Donna and Nicole (Dona Spier & Roberta Vasquez). With help from their muscled freak friends, they aim to take down the mastermind one tit at a time.

Fit to Kill
Once again special agents Dona & Nicole team up to retrieve a stolen diamond belonging to the Russians. Dona and Nicole better shoot their way to the truth before an international war starts!

Enemy Gold
Dames! Danger! Dynamite! Crime chief Santiago is in the cross hairs of justice when three federal agents set their sights on him. The operation goes wrong leaving the agents suspended. The trio discover a treasure map during camping (this is what The Goonies should have been) leading to hidden gold dating back to the Civil War. Santiago & co. catch onto this and do their best to intercept the agents.

The Dallas Connection
Scientists are being gunned down by assassins looking for a computer chip used to detect & destroy contraband. Sexy agents are assigned to protect the last scientist from female killers trying to steal the chip. 

Day of the Warrior
The ladies of L.E.A.T.H.A.L. must stop Warrior, an indian dressing criminal after he learns all of they're secrets. With help from asian kung fu master Fu , the breast heavy agents have to devise a new plan to kick ass. 
Return to Savage Beach
When computer discs detailing whereabouts of hidden treasure are stolen, it's up to L.E.T.H.A.L. agents to blow the bad guys to smithereens before they discover the location of the goods. Sadly this was Sidaris's last shoot em up flick before he was taken by cancer in 2007. 


  • Video
All films are 1.33:1 fullscreen which I'm certain is the original aspect ratio. The only bummer is that 12 films are stuffed into 3 double sided discs. Mill Creek is notorious for this (also putting discs into paper sleeves instead of a disc tray, double bummer) and it hinders the quality. These look slightly better than VHS transfers and one would guess Skinemax airings. Nothing is borderline horrible, just compressed to hell due to space overload.  The set is super cheap and a bargain for what's included, go in with checked expectations and you should be fine.

  • Audio
I could hear every explosions, gun shot and badass one liners clearly. It does it's job fine and expected when compared to the video quality. 

Bonus Features:
  • Theatrical Trailers
Each film is graced with it's own original trailer. They are rightfully awesome and definitely pump you up to watch shit go boom.
  • Andy Sidaris Intros
Several short, but sweet introductions from Andy & co. These are Easter Eggs and can be accessed by going to the Scene Selection menu on any disc. You will see a picture of a woman where you can press left or right to highlight her leg. This will play the videos that include discussion on his films, shows tits or both.
This isn't the first release of Sidaris' action, boob packed films. His own company, Malibu Bay Films, released these 8 or so years ago in packed editions. Missing from this release are Audio Commentaries, Interviews, Featurettes and more. It's a shame that these couldn't be included since the now out-of-prints discs go for a heft sum.

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